i dont even know how to describe how i feel right now. am i sad? am i angry? am i frustrated? my minds all jumbled up and i cant even tell whats bothering me. why do i get upset when good things are happening to my friends. i dont want to feel this way. am i jealous? am i comparing myself to them and seeing how little ive accomplished? do i just hate everyone thats doing better than me? i dont know but i hate myself for feeling this way. i dont even know why i made this account im better off just venting to myself in private. maybe its because i secretly want to be noticed by others no matter what maybe by some miracle ill get better at everything i do without having to worery about putting in actual effort. why is everything so hard. i dont want to be here. i cant even play the piano or write music so why am i posting this. i want to die.

hello, im not okay

she

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hmm?