I wrote this shitty song for Melita’s birthday
I hope that it’s okay / but it’s probably shit
Yeah I wrote this shitty song for Melita’s birthday
though I hurt my playing hand and can’t really 
play guitar or sing for shit at the best of times...

Yeah I wrote this shitty song for Melita’s birthday
It’s not like I could pick a restaurant or present 
or even plan a picnic

Yeah I wrote a shitty song for Melita’s birthday
it’s only got four chords / and these shitty lyrics

But then I got inspired for the middle-eight
Can’t remember what I came up with
but I remember it was kind of great
it wasn’t in any way objectifying
but still managed to call her a sexy bitch
and there was something about her luscious laugh
her nubile mind and her beddable bits

“And how she’s very understanding of my failings
as a human being, and a songwriter, and a cyclist” 

So I wrote a shitty song for Melita’s birthday
I hope that it’s OK, but it’s probably shit

Yeah I wrote a shitty song for Melita’s birthday
the important thing is that I tried / 
and that she’s hot as shit

Napoleon Hangover

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