Yeeep

It was a long and lonesome night in Piscataway, Japan for young Evan-san. He was sitting at his computer, curled up in a ball, hugging his Haruhi Suzumiya bodypillow hanging down inbetween his legs. He was watching his favorite anime, Elfen Lied, Evan was at the part where Lucy apologizes to Kouta for “all the sadness she caused him”. Evan-san’s heart was touched by this.

He watched Kouta forgive her, and how loving he still was after everything. Evan-san wanted that, he wanted love, he wanted love just like kind in his japanese animu’s. Evan began to cry, his tears dripping down into his bodypillow. Evan-san pushed his bodypillow to the floor and curled up on his side in his chair, he can do that because he’s short.

The tears kept flowing from Evan-sans face, and dropped to the floor making a light splash sound each time, if you listen closely it sounds like the tears are whispering “brother” with each plop. 

Suddenly, a beam of light opened in Evan-sans room, Evan noticed this and began to peak over the back of his computer chair, which his knees on the seat and his hands on the top of said chair. Evan watched and wiped away his tears, as a woman walked out of the light.

She had red hair across her face, presumably to mock the writer of this story. She wore a shirt that says “Bitch I Own Swag” and had a long cape flowing in the wind behind her, did she have pants? Nobody knows my friends, nobody knows.

She stepped completely out of the light as it disappeared behind her, Evan-san slowly got out of his chair with a smile on his face, he asked the mysterious woman for her name. The woman turned her attention towards him, and pushed the hair out of her face, because she decided to stop being rude to the creator of this story because bitch I can kill you.

“Queen Pip Lady Bathory Malice The Fourth, Esquire” spoke the woman, “Pip for short.” Evan-san looked on in amazement, before realizing his semen stained body pillow was still on the floor, which he proceeded to throw out the window.

Evan-san began to close the window when he felt something wet on his neck, Evan shivered with excitement and looked over to see the woman who calls herself Pip kissing the side of his neck. 

Pip looked up to Evan-san and said with a smile on her face, “We’re going to have fun tonight, young Evan-san.” 

The night consisted mostly of Evan-san’s screams, as Pip proved to be much kinkier and rougher in bed that young Evan-san imagined, who actually turned out to no ones surprise to be quite a gentle lover compared to 99% of elderly couples. Pip used her signature sex move which was dubbed “Coma White” but since this is an anime dub, no one can be too sure.

The only thing we know for sure was, young Evan-san was out cold, presumably put into a coma. Pip crawled across the unconcious Evan-san and whispered into his ear.

“I’m glad you finally noticed me Senpai”

The end.

Pip and Evan-san

http://disparateyouth.tumblr.com/post/28307363250/august-21st-by-the-time-someone-finds-this-it-may

August 21st

Once upon a time, there was a magical place where everything was niceness, and rainbows, and kittens, and giggles. It was named the Land of the Gay. Everything was just so fabulous here that it’s beauty hurt mortal eyes. Now, in this land, there was a beautiful faery princess named Nathan, and a handsome prince named Kyle. They loved each other very much, because I said so; it is their destiny.

Beyond the sweetness of the Land of Gay, there lay the Land of Blood, where Empress Tiffani ruled all the peasants. Empress Tiffani was absolutely flawless, but for the sake of the story, she got extremely jelly because of Nates hairstyle, so she locked him in tower. Kyle was so, so sad. So he quested, and did a lot of epic shit that I really cant bothered with, and he rescued Princess Nathan.

They may or may not have had carnal knowledge of each other. That really is not for me to speculate on.

And then Kyle donned his wizards hat and cape, and together, him and Nathan rode away on a unicorn.

Tiffani was all, “Whatevs. I didn’t care anyway, I was just here to further the plot.” And she went back to being awesome.

And so, the day was saved, thanks to the Power Puff Girls.

NateeeDawg