Insecurities

2055

2 many times

repeat to yourself that they're not really gone
time has proven that fooling yourself into believing
a lie is the most effective way to deal with
things you have no control over

keep listening to the mixtapes they made you
overanalyse every single word you hear
"was this a sign that things were going wrong"
no no, you were the one that cared too hard, not them

stay up every single night staring at your phone
either attempting to gather up the courage to
turn these demons, these constant reminders of
your loneliness into nothing more than a bad dream
or praying just for one second you could feel
the warmth of equally returned love

go out for coffee four times a week by yourself
always bring your notebook, never stop writing
leave little comics and thank you notes with your tip
watch them smile as you get in your car

always talk down on yourself whenever possible
my life is shit because i deserve it, right?
you must have done something real bad
its nearly impossible for you to cry now

avoid your friends for weeks even though
they're the only sense of consistency you have
left in your life, if they really wanted
to see you they'd come, but they won't (who cares?)

allow yourself to lose interest in the things you love
watch as you begin to take a backseat to the
world around you, don't fight it
become a secondary character in your own motion picture

but most importantly drown every single one of
your feelings in old stolen rum, learn to
love the taste of it dripping down your throat
find comfort in the warmth coming from your
stomach, you're drinking bottled love now

you don't need other people to drive away your loneliness
you just needed to find a way to talk to it

how to never stop being sad

SadBoyProlific - Somethin' That You're Not

running thru my head  (｡-_-｡) w/ sewerperson

[Cha cha real smooth]
I don't really care much
You don't want to stare much
Keeping close but don't touch
Oh i know
We could do this all night
Love but wasnt on sight
Keep it cold 



Less than my pain 
Less than my heart
Less than my words 
And we all fall apart
Less than my pain 
Less than my heart
Less than my words 
And we all fall apart
Oh oh oh
And we all fall apart
Oh oh oh
And we all fall apart

This aint my city scape and
My pretty feelings breaking
My top to bottom aching 
Your smile keeps me waiting

Play those silent songs today
Tears just don't fade away
I want to make the most for you
And i cant write a song today
I just don't know what to say
To you 
To you

I don't really cry much
Keep your fucking mouth shut
I don't wanna die but
You don't know
We could keep it close and
Talk about our loose ends
But keep it cool
Keep it cool
Testing my mind
Testing my brain
Testing my soul
But it all falls away
Testing my mind
Testing my brain
Testing my soul
But it all falls away
Oh oh oh
But it all falls away
Oh oh oh oh oh
But it all falls away

This aint my city scape and
My pretty feelings breaking
My top to bottom aching 
Your smile keeps me waiting

SadBoyProlific - Midnight Thoughts

nathan savoie

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