Ninety - Nine

Fly On The Wall

On The Outs

Drugstore Photograph

Release

My Obsession

Stopwatch Gang

Sundogs

Dawn Hatfield (Bari and Tenor Saxophone), John Cuming (Trumpet)

Down By The Shore

If one was to go looking for information on Nathan's Flat, a typical search might uncover that this was a band that originally formed in Halifax, a city on the east coast of Canada. In approximately 5 years, this band has performed at numerous venues around the east coast opening for such acts as Jazzberry Ram and Thrush Hermit. the band also had 2 releases: (1) "The Hit Parade", a primitively recorded nine song cassette released in July of 1998 as a means to get a sampling of their music to a wanting public and (2) "ninety nine", an 8 song CD that was released to nationwide distribution in February 1999 which showcased the band's talents in songwriting, performance and production. After numerous gigs and rehearsals on the east coast, the band relocated to Toronto Ontario as a means of reaching a wider audience and greater opportunities. If a seeker of knowledge were to obtain this much information, they would be looked upon with much admiration and respect. However there is much more to their story...

The story of this band, and of how they came by their unusual moniker is one shrouded in mystery. If you happen to ask a band member where they come from or who Nathan is, they immediately begin sweating profusely, and proceed to spew out a programmed response rife with obvious lies. To follow the truth of their history is like being led through a dark maze by a lame monkey - disturbing, confusing, a little smelly, and you get nowhere fast. For years Nathanologists have been stumbling drunkenly through this maze in search of the truth, and though no concrete evidence has surfaced, theories abound and pieces of the Nathan's Flat puzzle have been found. They all lead back to the all-important question: Who is Nathan?

Birth of the Nathan Myth

To get to the heart of the matter, we spoke with noted Nathonologist Dr. Montgomery Rutager Quaff* at his home in the Appalachian Mountains. The following is the gist of his drunken ramblings - pre-digested and spewed here for your consumption.

First of all, Nathan's Flat is a place. The nature and whereabouts of this place has been a hot topic of debate, though some publicity seekers claim to have actually seen it. Descriptions of it are as varied as the people themselves. Some claim it to be a modern Shangri-La, where water flows as sweet as honey and extinct wildlife thrive in a perpetual summer rain forest - alleged locations range from the heart of the Gobi Desert, to Central Park, New York City. Others describe an endless bingo hall where Nathan himself has called out numbers throughout the ages, deep within some mountain, sewer system, or industrial park warehouse. At least one man described a scene where he stumbled into an alley in Hoboken, N.J. only to find Nathan conducting the mythical game of Crazy 8s (Crazy 8s and Nathan are inseparable entities in Nathan mythology). Nathan himself has been described variously as a really tall guy in a white suit, a large naked black man, a Romanian belly-dancer, and a tiny mouse with a top-hat and cane. All of these reports are assuredly erroneous.

The location of Nathan's Flat remains a mystery. Or is it? Some say the members of this musical group that share its name have not only been there, but have had contact with Nathan himself. Absurd you say? Maybe so, but something about this rock and roll orchestra has caused enough of a ruckus to shake the Nathonology community out of their drunken slumber. The appearance of the Nathan's Eye insignia on their publicity material is enough evidence for some. Legend has it, that to look into Nathan's eye (some say he only has one) causes instant and incurable dementia and silliness in his victims (an unfortunate side-effect of his mythical faulty eye-lid). This behaviour seems consistent with that of members of this musical group. All evidence taken into account, it seems probable that they have had some contact with Nathan. It remains unclear whether they are simply five misguided Nathonologists who stumbled onto Nathan's Flat only to be driven into a state of silliness by Nathan's misshapen eye, or have been - as some suggest - sent by Nathan to play some tunes he wrote.

Well, for now it's Dr. Quaff's word against theirs. If you ask them about Nathan they will ramble incoherently like morons, with a vacant look in their eye and drool upon their lip:

"I am Bill Dean, I play guitar, I am from New Glasgow..."

"I Art House, I drum, I from Newfoundland..."

"I am Jeff Kinsman, I am bass, I am from Halifax..."

"I from Kevin MacDonald, I play guitar, I live from Halifax..."

"I am Robert Stewart, I am singing, I am singing from Ottawa..." **

Obvious lies. Are these guys bright enough to pull this off on their own, or is this legendary, mythic, and elusive Nathan the real mastermind behind this extraordinary band. For Nathonologists, the ridiculous, bumbling search for the truth continues, but as for the rest of us, who really cares?

* Dr. Quaff writes for Nathanologist Weekly
** excerpts from actual interviews

Nathan's Flat

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