You may have never heard of J-L Cauvin. 

But you're about to.

In fact, if you Google him, you will quickly determine that Cauvin is considered, BY THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, to be *THE* best and certainly *THE* drop-dead FUNNIEST Donald Trump impersonator on the face of the goddamn planet.

Let me put it this way:

I haven't seen ALL of the Trump impersonators out there in the world? But it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to imagine one who does Trump better than Cauvin.

In fact, at this point in history, it BLOWS ONE'S MIND to realize that Cauvin probably DOES Trump even BETTER... than Donald Trump. 

"Okay?"

If you have been listening to NCN's free MetaMedia mixes, particularly the Trump-centric ones, you may have heard Cauvin popping in here and there, channeling Trump in the mix. 

We hope these additions are okay with Cauvin. He SEEMS cool with it. 

They are, after all, not meant as acts of piracy but acts of proselytization. We want people to HEAR this guy take the piss out of Trump. AS Trump. Because it's FUCKING HILARIOUS. And if there are just TWO qualities associated with the Trump years, they are HORROR and HILARITY.

Cauvin's got both of those covered.

Which is no mean feat. Even South Park threw up their hands in this regard. 

I mean, how do you take somebody who provokes so much outrage already and MAKE them outrageous? 

How do you take a figure so worthy of RIDICULE to begin with and make them even MORE ridiculous? 

How do you PARODY someone who... 

Well, you get the idea.

Somehow, Cauvin finds a way.

And  the renditions, all of which are available at his 'Trump the Internet' page on Youtube here: https://bit.ly/2SfnIxw almost get out of the realm of mere 'comedy' and start to get into a kind of musical realm.

The riffing, the FLOW of Trump, the characterization, the blind-to-one's-own-nature over-the-top arrogance, the punctuated stolen verbal tropes running like punctuated leitmotifs throughout the impeccably delivered pattersuch as the perfectly timed 'okay?'s (always delivered with withering condescension, because Trump wants to make sure that you're following what he's saying because... 'YOU'RE STUPID') or characterizing the most horrible thing ever as '... it's a beautiful thing!' or of course the FULL STOP move of '... EXCUSE ME!' a very Trumpian verbal move indeed, ALL... are like musical phrases woven beautifully throughout an expertly rendered free form JAZZ PERFORMANCE.

It's like watching, or listening to, an expert JAZZ musician, like Dizzy Gillespie play the trumpet. 

But instead of playing the trumpet, Cauvin plays TRUMP.

So when, a few weeks ago, I came up with 'Apocalypse Trump!' (which will be posted fairly soon) mashing up Apocalypse Now and Trump, and needed certain LINES to be said AS TRUMP we knew we had to SOMEHOW get a hold of Cauvin to read those lines.

And we did. 

And he did.

And a couple of weeks after that, we had ANOTHER idea which was a bit more elaborate but it was a 'Trump Bit' SO CAUVIN WORTHY that we were almost afraid that he had already thought of it and done it.

Luckily, that was not the case.

Cauvin did the piece. 

It is this piece here.

And we GLADLY paid him for the COMEDY GOLD commissioned from him (thanks Patrons!). 

Written by Phineas Narco (with a couple of internal gags added by J-L) who also did a little post-production work on it, this piece had us laughing so hard we almost required oxygen when we heard the final product. 

It is part of the upcoming Mega-Epic MetaMedia Mix 'The Domino Insurrection (2021)' (Look for it here and on our Bandcamp site SOON).

And it answers the comedic question... 

How would Trump respond if somebody asked him (and come to think of it why has someone NOT?) the question everybody wants the answer to...

"Your supporters were CAUGHT ON TAPE chanting 'HANG MIKE PENCE' during the Capitol Hill Riot of January 6th, 2021. WHAT UP WITH THAT??"

We think... that Trump's answer... would go... something... LIKE THIS....

The Domino Insurrection (2021)

J-L Cauvin Channels Trump for NCN!

Our Patreon

NCN - Comedian J-L Cauvin Channels Trump For The National Cynical Network!

This mix is part of The National Cynical Network's program, 'Insane in the Ukraine'.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND INFO ON THIS WORK'S SUBJECT MATTER:

"Rasputin" is a 1978 song by Germany-based pop and Euro disco group Boney M. It is a song about Grigori Rasputin, a friend and advisor of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia during the early 20th century. The song describes Rasputin as a playboy, mystical healer, and political manipulator. The tells of Rasputin's rise to prominence in the court of Nicholas II, referencing Rasputin's appointment as Nicholas's son Alexei's personal healer.

The song claims that Rasputin was Nicholas's wife, the Tsarina Alexandra's paramour: "Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen, there was a cat that really was gone" and retells contemporary accounts of his powerful personality. The song depicts him as being extremely popular with the Russian elite and being sexually promiscuous.

The end of the song recounts a popular version of events that culminated in Rasputin's assassination on 16 December 1916 (O.S.). The song accurately states that the conspirators asked him "Come to visit us", and then recounts  that Rasputin's assassins fatally shot him after he survived the poisoning of his wine.

For more info on Rasputin's remarkable assassination story see:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin#Death

AllMusic's journalist Donald A. Guarisco described it as "a tribute to the legendary Russian historical figure that uses balalaikas to create its textured rhythm guitar hook." Its melody has been compared to that of the traditional Turkish song "Kâtibim".

======================

IDEAS and INSPIRATIONS which led to THIS MIX:

This mix was worked on for at least a month certainly WELL before the Ukrainian invasion. The mix, ultimately, became, to a large degree, about that invasion, and of course Putin.

The graphic 'album cover' used is a 'morph' between the actual faces of Gregori Rasputin and Vladimir Putin. 

There are certain parallels between the stories of the two men: When Putin's political 'star' first rose in Russia, his popularity actually outshone the head of state himself. Both have a reputation for hyper-masculinity. Both, certainly at the current time in world history, are widely said to be 'mad' and for much the same reasons. Also, the parallels between the Russian people's cries (as depicted in the bridge of the original Boney M. song) to 'do something about this outrageous man' and his later committed abuses of power, especially in light of current events, are un-deniable.

The inspiration for this song was that I just really loved the original song, and especially all the MASHUPS of this song, and I wanted to showcase the best (IMHO) of these efforts in one ultimate mix. 

Although NCN painstakingly put this mix together, NONE of the individual pieces used (save for the 'political Putin section') were specifically done by NCN. In addition to the political set, the mix alsoo has a Lady Gaga mashup set, an 80's song mashup set, a hip-hop/rap set, and several covers and remixes of the song.

The playlist is comprised of two items: an uncut 'NSFW' version of the mix and a shorter 'SFW' radio edit of the mix suitable for airplay (though it should probably be played only in 'safe harbor' hours). Each mix version is downloadable on SoundCloud for free in lossless  .flac format and each mix is short enough to be burned completely on a single CD-R. 

It should be noted that, unsurprisingly, it has long been a widely held belief that Vladimir Putin is in fact the REINCARNATION of Grigori Rasputin. More information about this supernatural idea (FWIW) can be found here:

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/putin-rasputin-reincarnation-vladimir-russia-16967403

Will the stories of these two men END in a similar fashion? 

Only TIME, and perhaps the Russian people themselves, hold the answer to that very question. 

Until then... the world watches. And waits.

#StandWithUkraine

'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix

'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix (Uncut NSFW Version)

Get Full Album

NCN - 'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix (Uncut NSFW Version)

A mix of songs and pieces that center around the notion or phrase of 'STFU' and we all know what that means. The language therefore in this piece might not be SFW. Please use listener discretion. 

This one gets pretty wild.

It is the result of some digging and research.

With work from NCN (From our program 'Right-Wing Radio Hell') with Bill O'Reilly and Hardmasters, as well as Barbara Streisand, Pink Guy, Eminem, Alaina Castillo, Blasterjaxx, Chris Webby, Gordon Ramsay, phem's MASN, Rico Nasty, Rina Sawayama, Dexter Trinity Killer, Public Enemy, DJ Premier, Mansionz Blackbear, Mike Posner and many more.

We have streamed this set a number of times on our bi-weekly webcast which streams on Thursdays and Sundays often starting around 3 or 4pm but always by 7pm at the latest and playing til at least midnight. (all times PDT).

If you want to hear the stream, please use the webplayer at https://bit.ly/3nQP2NS during the showtimes as outlined above.

This mix, in this particular form (complete) has not been played in its entirety, on the webcast stream, at the time of its posting here.

The 'Right-Wing Radio Hell' project referenced by NCN above can be found here:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/album/right-wing-radio-hell-2015-mix

This mix, 'STFU', is freely downloadable at the Soundcloud page it's on in lossless .flac format.

Enjoy!

STFU

NCN - STFU

Yes... this is a SPECIAL SNEAK PREVIEW of our upcoming day-long special NEW, FREE audio webcast program/journey called 'DAY OF NIRVANA' which will play on Sunday, May 22nd starting at 4:20pm (Left Coast Time, PDT) livestreamed on our Shoutcast server, but also on Youtube. There will be live chat and narration/explication of the program at the Youtube page (with Phineas, for as long as his brain cells hold out) in realtime.

For FULL INFO on this event (including ALL RELEVANT LINKS) go to the Patreon page for the event at the link (feel free to share) below:

https://bit.ly/3wAqcXi.

OVERALL PROGRAM DETAILS:

This is a sonic, psychedelic collage-based remixed biography/odyssey of Kurt Cobain's life story, and also Nirvana, from the beginning to the present day, told chronologically, utilizing and collating some hard-to-find high-end documentary clips, interspersed with rarely-heard early Cobain/Nirvana material like experimental/avante-garde sound-collage work (not that different what I do with NCN, at times) that Kurt himself did in the 1980's as well as fascinating researched explication, scads of interview clips, and recorded behind-the-scenes actualities and of course TONS of remixes, rarities, mixes, MetaMixes, mashups, covers and many, many such DIY variants and variations of the familiar NIRVANA tunes that we all have all come to know and love over the years.

THIS SUNDAY! Spend your DAY with NIRVANA! Hear the ENTIRE story in 24 hours!!

IN DTS STEREO!!

=============

ABOUT THIS CLIP:

This clip starts at the point right before the 5hr. 30min. mark, into the program. It starts out a bit CHAOTICALLY with a couple wild collages (one by Kurt) but STICK WITH IT, it soon settles down a bit and becomes more linear, listenable and accessible.

The clip describes the 'Grunge' scene, in Seattle, WA and the Pacific Northwest in the early 1990s, and some of the media 'hype' surrounding it at the time when Kurt Cobain moved there and formed the band Nirvana with Krist Novoselic and drummer David Grohl and derails their efforts and success producing one of the most successful albums EVER, their album: 'Nevermind'.

This extended mix also includes the ENTIRE set dealing with Nirvana's BIGGEST HIT, the song 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' representing the success in collage/remix format, but also describing in detail its production (as well as the larger LP project it was a part of) and a very very long set of '...Teen Spirit' variants such as mashups, sendups, remixes and covers of the song.

Some source material used in this mix was purchased by the creator specifically to have the best copy of it for this mix. Lossless/re-mastered versions were used if available. This is downloadable in lossless (.flac format) sound file form at the SoundCloud page for this track.

This excerpt ends with a hyper-edited representation of many, many intercut 'deconstructions' 'analyses' or 'reverse engineerings' of the song, 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' that breaks down, in extreme detail, why it is so GREAT in a technical, historical and also critical sense.

Underground music legend Don Joyce (RIP) of the musical group Negativland mentored me in the audio collage technique of 'converstional composition' which is employed here.

Note--this IN DEVELOPMENT program clip is mostly UN-REVIEWED by the creator at time of posting and so might contain MISTAKES I know there is a looped sequence around 39 minutes in. That all should be corrected by SHOWTIME Sunday.

DAY OF NIRVANA

DAY OF NIRVANA Special Sneak Preview

NCN - 'Making Nevermind'+'Teen Spirit Blows Up' (Special 'Day Of Nirvana' Sneak Preview Excerpt)

What if I told you...

That this was the ROLLS-ROYCE of Psychedelic Music mixes?

Under production development for about a YEAR, and part of a LARGER NCN project called 'THE TRIP!! (Can You Take It??)' this THIRD ACT of that FOUR ACT piece now sees the light of day in this exclusive pre-release.

This mix is constructed to simulate a psychedelic 'trip' (USE HEADPHONES!) and goes back to some old saws like Pink Floyd's 'Echoes' (utilizing at least 2 remastered lossless versions) as a running leitmotif throughout the piece, as well as more obscure works from the likes of Zappa, Coil, Psychic TV, The Caretaker, Genesis, Wendy Carlos, The Who, Roger Waters and Porcupine Tree as well as material from '2001: A Space Odyssey' (1968), 'The Shining' (1980) and 'Enter the Void' (2010).

It also features the voices of Timothy Leary and Eric Shepperd.

Eric Shepperd's Youtube channel is at:

https://www.youtube.com/user/eshep4

The word 'Definitive' is added to this particular mix's title to distinguish it from any versions of it that may be out there which may have been riipped from our bi-weekly stream where it was presented in intermediate forms.

For more info on tuning into our bi-weekly live audio stream see:

https://nationalcynical.com/webcast

Part of the intention of creating this is to generate interest and knowledge about the psychedelic music genre and the artists represented within this work. 

The other part of the intention behind this is self-expression and is artistic in nature. Some of these sequences are so elaborate that they can be said to have their own compositional identity and are works of art unto themselves. 

All derived work in this piece is in here because it either has special meaning to me personally, and/or I feel that it is an important 'star' in the 'constellation' of this genre, and I feel it, and the artists involved, warrant more attention. 

This work is meant for entertainment and educational use only is not meant as an endorsement for any particular substance, taste or lifestyle. Please consult your physician before ingesting any psychedelic agent. And in any case... be careful where you get your shit.

All derived work in this piece has been transformed either through a process of remixture, re-contextualization or fragmentation or some combination of these editorial techniques.

This mix is free to stream in HD sound or download here at SoundCloud in lossless .flac format. MOST of the source pieces used in this mix are derived from LOSSLESS or bought sources.

This mix is also freely available to stream at Mixcloud (may not be playable in your country as per their rules) at:

https://www.mixcloud.com/upload/pnarco/ncn-the-ultimate-trip/complete/

It is also at archive.org where you may stream, download or torrent it in a variety of formats including lossless:

https://bit.ly/3cttzsS

If you would like to help support NCN for as little as $1 per month use the 'BUY' button or go to:

https://patreon.com/nationalcynical

Enjoy!

THE TRIP!! (Can You Take It??)

The Ultimate Trip!! (Definitive)

Patreon

NCN - The Ultimate Trip!! (Definitive)

https://soundcloud.com/nationalcynical/ncn-dr-jordan-b-peterson-loses-his-lulz-megamix

This mix is now complete.

This is the entire hunk having to do with JBP as it will appear in the upcoming NCN project titled 'The Andrew Taint School for Sexual Predators'.

Watch the page where the 'BUY' link goes to (NCN's Bandcamp), that is where the entire project will eventually be posted. You will not need to pay anything to stream or download it. There are two other preview tracks/mixes at that page at this time.

This JBP comedy mix is available to stream for free on SoundCloud in HD Sound for FREE and to Download here for free in lossless .flac format. 

Includes our 'ex post facto' mods of: 'very tall bart's excellent 'YTP' cutups ('very tall bart' is on Youtube), our edits of their edits of JBP's interview with Cathy Newman (as well as his interview with himself which NCN re-produced), analysis of 'the crying issue' by youtube and twitchstreamer extraordinaire Hasanabi, The Majority Report and The Young Turks, also H3 goofs on the 'forced monogamy' controversy, audio 'sketch comedy'. Excellent de-constructions of things like the whole 'lobster theory' deal by 'Some More News'. Other fun stuff.

Listener Discretion. NSFW. Some of the language is rough.

Enjoy!

The Andrew Taint School for Sexual Predators

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Loses His Shit (LULz MegaMix)

NCN - Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Loses His Shit (LULz MegaMix) [EXPLICIT]

Just a "feel good" song, reminding you to change your position if you can't see the good things in your life.  They're there- ask somebody.

Things Are Looking Up!

A music/comedy mix for NCN's current project at the beginning of June (Pride Month) 2023 called, 'The Great Big Gay Homosexual (ADULTS ONLY) NCN Comedy Show'.

Listener Advisory: Portions of this audio program may be considered 'Not Safe for Work'; Please use listener discretion.

This starts out as a straight-up dance mix featuring many gay icon female dance club oriented singers (hailed as 'divas') such as Madonna, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. It should be noted that many of the mixes used in this MetaMix were put together by the great remix artist Robin Skouteris. This gradually becomes a mix of PARODIES of these types of songs done by artists such as 'Weird Al' Yankovic and Bart Baker who can be found on Youtube and then ends with a mixture of mashups and some more parodies.

Portions of this mix will also appear in the upcoming NCN album, 'Andrew Tate & His Red-Pilled Fight Club Meet The Matrix'.

This mix is freely streamable (in HD SOUND) and downloadable in .flac lossless format at our SoundCloud

and also freely streamable (in HQ SOUND!) fully searchable and with NO ADS! at our Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-dance-diva-and-parody-mix/

Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/nationalcynical

The Great Big Gay Homosexual (ADULTS ONLY) NCN Comedy Show

Dance Diva and Parody Mix

NCN - Dance Diva and Parody Mix

Our tribute to one of the most hilarious memes ever and some of the best (IMHO) musical remixes that it spawned.

In honor of Pride Month, June 2023: Keep Homophobia Ridiculous!

For more information:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Ssempa

Obviously, listener discretion advised.

Credits (in order of play): The Cumtown Podcast; Poopoophobic Pasta; The General Banter Podcast; JKR; NiewolnicyZieleni; Global Traxxx; TSR; Random Shenanigans; Pasta Senpai; GTJayFive; yahrasta; KingUW; Bart Baker; Kurt Razelli; Publio Delgato; Clair Collective; Colm Lindsay; 6669yourmum; Secular Talk

This mix is also freely streamable (in HQ SOUND!) fully searchable and with NO ADS! at our Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-the-eat-da-poo-poo-metamix/

The 'Eat Da Poo Poo' MetaMix (Pastor Dr. Martin Ssempa)

NCN - The 'Eat Da Poo Poo' MetaMix (Pastor Dr. Martin Ssempa)

This is a tribute mix in remembrance of Paul Reubens, aka 'Pee-Wee Herman', a fellow SubGenius who 'boarded the saucers early' on July 30th, 2023 at the age of 70 from a hitherto undisclosed illness. He leaves behind many fans, and an enormous body of work from a career that spanned 5 decades. 

This is a remix of, and about, the famous and iconic 'Tequila Dance' scene from the 1985 film 'Pee-Wee's Big Adventure' by director Tim Burton in which Reubens (as Pee-Wee) dances to The Champs' song, 'Tequila!'. This 'MetaMix' (or 'mix of mixes') consists mostly of mashups utilizing the 'Tequila!' song. 

It also includes audio of the scene in question as well as Pee-Wee and David Letterman discussing the film, and the scene, on the 'Late Night with David Letterman' show in 1985.

This mix is part of NCN's longform program, 'The Pee-Wee Herman / Paul Reubens Memorial Mix' which will be released in its entire by NCN soon.

RIP Pee-Wee Herman (aka Paul Reubens)

Credits in order: David Letterman; Paul Reubens (on Late Night with David Letterman - NBC - 1985); 'Pee-Wee's Big Adventure' (1985); The Champs; Mashup with Electric Six by DoM; J. Rabbit; The Sicks; Acapental; Pharrell Williams ('Happy'); DNC Liberty; Joeski Love

This mix is available here as a free 160kbps mp3 download. Special features of the mp3 encoding are: 1. Joint Stereo, 2. Highest Quality Encoding, 3. Mid/Side Stereo, 4. Intensity Stereo, 5. Volume Analysis and Leveling with MediaMonkey.

This mix is also freely playable at Mixcloud in HQ Sound, fully searchable back and forth, with timestamped source titles appearing in player during playback, with NO ADS.:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-tequila-the-champs-pee-wee-herman-memorial-mashup-metamix/

Enjoy!

-=-"pn"

The Pee-Wee Herman / Paul Reubens Memorial Mix

'Tequila!' (The Champs) Pee-Wee Herman Memorial Mashup MetaMix

NCN - 'Tequila!' (The Champs) Pee-Wee Herman Memorial Mashup MetaMix

FUNNY Informative Collage / Mix / Compilation Track About Then-President Donald Trump's Pre-J6 '11,780 Votes' Voter Fraud Call to Georgia's Secretary of State from Our Album 'The Insurrection (The Prequel)' Available on Bandcamp in its entirety at:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/album/the-insurrection-the-prequel

This mix covers Trump's phone call to Secretary of State of Georgia Brad Raffensperger in early 2021 whom he pressured to overturn the Georgia election results for him, mere days before Jan6, an action for which he is under indictment at the time of this posting. 

The bulk of this mix is the late-night talk show circuit 'goofing' on the call, and songs that came out about it, along with other comedy and some serious commentary.

There is a lot of comedy.

This is also available at Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-and-yet-another-perfect-phone-call-the-trumpgeorgia-mix/

Free download (in lossless .flac format) on SoundCloud.

Kill mR DJ Mashups; Jimi Hendrix; Linkin Park; Donald Trump; Brad Raffensperger; Stephen Colbert; Seth Meyers; schmoyoho; Founders Sing; Jimmy Fallon; James Corden; J-L Cauvin; Beau of the Fifth Column

The Insurrection (The Prequel)

And Yet... ANOTHER Perfect Phone Call! (The Trump/Georgia Mix)

NCN - And Yet... ANOTHER Perfect Phone Call! (The Trump/Georgia Mix)

Mutated Music Mixes for the Masses For the Not-That-Reality-Oriented From the Mind  of a Longtime SubGenius, MetaMediagician and one of Negativland's Co-Conspirators.

NCN - STFU

The National Cynical Network

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