Flux is a song about drifting apart after being reunited with a long-distance partner.

//Lyrics//

Windswept walks on the beach
Salty sea spray hits my face
Walking alone is not the same
I think of you so far away

You said don't worry
A year will fly by
But the cold bitter winter
Makes the weeks feel like forever

We’re in a state of flux
Will we pick up where we left off?

Love is like a river
Its currents can guide you
Or take you in and break your bones
Outta sight, outta mind
I guess that we weren’t right
Space and time made me realise
This river has run dry

Now you're here, we should be great
But we've both changed
Conversations are stilted
The way we feel has shifted

We don't touch anymore
So much to say but we don't say it
Icicle smiles
Strangeness of strangers

We’re in a state of flux
Couldn’t pick up where we left off

Love is like a river
Its currents can guide you
Or take you in and break your bones
Outta sight, outta mind
I guess that we weren’t right
Space and time made me realise
This river has run dry

Our hands relax
We could only hold on for so long
The idea of our love just wasn't enough
And I’m already gone
But I wish the best for you

Love is like a river
Its currents can guide you
Or take you in and break your bones
Outta sight, outta mind
I guess that we weren’t right
Space and time made me realise
This river has run dry

---
(DE)HUMANISE EP released 7 May 2021
℗ & © Naz & Ella 2021
Written, recorded & produced by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall
All live instruments and vocals performed by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall except cello in ‘Flux’ played by Polina Kermesh
Drums programmed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

Flux

We Are The Enemy is a song about the hypocrisy of speciesism.

//Lyrics//

I look into your eyes
I couldn’t hurt you
Now I understand
The lies we’re sold
My rage runs deeper

How have we justified their pain?
It’s not to feed the billions
When there’s money to gain
How can someone hold a life in their hands
And callously take it away?

We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy

Dinner’s on the table
She never felt the wind on her skin
Savour the flavour
Of fear and pain
This isn’t humane

What makes Luna different?
Intelligence? Circumstance?
She tastes so good
I’m still asking
How can someone hold a life in their hands
And take it away?

We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy

Nearly fifty billion animals are factory farmed every year around the world
The majority of these animals never get to express natural behaviours
Routinely mutilated, crammed in, the priority is profit

We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy
We are the enemy

---
(DE)HUMANISE EP released 7 May 2021
℗ & © Naz & Ella 2021
Written, recorded & produced by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall
All live instruments and vocals performed by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall except cello in ‘Flux’ played by Polina Kermesh
Drums programmed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

We Are The Enemy

Exotica is a song we wrote about the exotification of women of colour.

//Lyrics//

I am a bird of paradise
From an alien land
Always reminded I don’t belong

When I was a girl I was taught to believe
I needed to bathe in bleach
To become the kind of woman you’d adore

Oh how I see me has changed as I’ve grown
Oh how I see me has changed

I am not exotica
I am not exotica

I am a person, with autonomy
Reduced to a fantasy
Bending to your will, in your mind, dehumanised

Oh how I see you has changed as I’ve grown
Oh how I see you has changed

I am not exotica
I am not exotica
I am not exotica
I am not exotica

I want to be beautiful on my own terms
I want to be human and loved the same (humanise me)
See me, see me for all that I am
See me, see me for all that I am
See me, see me for all that I am
See me, see me for all that I am

I am not exotica
I am not exotica
I am not exotica
I am not exotica

---
(DE)HUMANISE EP released 7 May 2021
℗ & © Naz & Ella 2021
Written, recorded & produced by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall
All live instruments and vocals performed by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall except cello in ‘Flux’ played by Polina Kermesh
Drums programmed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

Exotica

'No (Doesn't Mean Convince Me)' is a song about normalised sexual harassment and taking your power back in these situations.

//Lyrics//

Lights out
Under a veil of darkness
Haze of alcohol
Feel your eyes
Following me
My senses stir

I’m the prey
You’re the hunter
Anonymous
Not responsible

No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me
No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me

I’m done
With feeling like a piece of meat
I’m human too
It’s time
This normalised behaviour
Is put to sleep

I’m a person
You’re a predator
Identified
Held responsible

No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me
No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me

Sexualised then demonised when we don't reciprocate
Sexualised then demonised when we don't
(I know my mind)
Sexualised then demonised when we don't reciprocate
(I know my mind and I won’t play)
Sexualised then demonised when we don't

I know my mind
I know my mind and I won’t play
I know my mind
I know my mind and I won’t play

How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?
Didn’t you hear me the first time?
I said no

---
(DE)HUMANISE EP released 7 May 2021
℗ & © Naz & Ella 2021
Written, recorded & produced by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall
All live instruments and vocals performed by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall except cello in ‘Flux’ played by Polina Kermesh
Drums programmed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

No (Doesn't Mean Convince Me)

Internalised is a song about the fear of “coming out” to yourself, drawing on our personal experiences as queer women.

We wanted to explore the manifestation of internalised homophobia within a relationship, highlighting the guilt and shame it can evoke, as well as the inner turmoil with regards to gender expression. In this song, we share our story in in the hope that it will help bring solace to other queer people going through a similar experience.

// Lyrics //

Not sure who I am
Know who I’m meant to be
Which story today
It’s getting harder to breathe
Long hair, flowing dress
Am I the woman society wants me to be?

Is the threat real
Or is it in my head?
I wish I could read their minds
Come clean
I’ll set me free
Is it all internalised?

Girlfriend
A word I can’t get off my tongue
Can I call you my friend
What does it matter anyway?
Drop your hand
Look the other way
Too many years of hiding in the shade
Wrapped in shame

Is the threat real
Or is it in my head?
I wish I could read their minds
Come clean
I’ll set me free
Is it all internalised?

I want to leave my head
Tear down the walls
Hold your hand in mine
Out in the light

And for the first time in my life
I’m proud to call you mine
For the first time in my life
I’m proud to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
(I feel the shame melt away
I feel the shame melt away)
To call you, to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
(I feel the shame melt away
I feel the shame melt away)

I feel the shame melt away
(Hold me close)
I feel the shame melt away

---
(DE)HUMANISE EP released 7 May 2021
℗ & © Naz & Ella 2021
Written, recorded & produced by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall
All live instruments and vocals performed by Nasreen Toorabally and Ella Patenall except cello in ‘Flux’ played by Polina Kermesh
Drums programmed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

Internalised

A cover of one of our favourite acoustic duos, First Aid Kit. The song is called Silver Lining.

Silver Lining - First Aid Kit cover

Freedom tells the story of a woman who fled from an abusive family and an oppressive regime she could no longer endure and was eventually granted asylum in a country where she could live a safer and freer life.

---
Buy on Bandcamp: https://nazandella.bandcamp.com
Stream on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/3oB200GKXyHRJo25eGGMhF?si=gIPxmOeVSKC4SY0WT3tZSw

---

Lyrics

Barricaded in a hotel room 
Bed pushed against the door 
Phone in her hand 
A lifeline to the outside world 

They took her passport 
They want to force her back 
To hell on earth 
Abused by her mum and dad 

She was running from evil 
A brutal regime 
Where freedom is a luxury 
All she wants 
Is to decide her own fate 
Be who she wants to be 
Be who she wants to be 

Six nights in limbo 
Waiting for her fate 
News comes at last 
They want to help her escape 

Touchdown Toronto 
Reborn into a new life 
Never thought this day would come 
Is this what freedom feels like? 

She was running from evil 
A brutal regime 
Where freedom is a luxury 
All she wants 
Is to decide her own fate 
Be who she wants to be 
Be who she wants to be 

Today, I can proudly say I make my own decisions 
I’m one of the lucky ones 
Any woman who thinks of escaping or escapes is at risk of persecution 
Women are disappearing 
Today, and for years to come 
I will work in support of freedom for women around the world 

She was running from evil 
A brutal regime 
Where freedom is a luxury 
All she wants 
Is to decide her own fate 
Be who she wants to be 
Be who she wants to be 
Be who she wants to be 
Be who she wants to be

Credits

Written by Ella Patenall 
Co-written by Naz Toorabally 
Performed by Ella Patenall (guitar, bass, vocals) and Naz Toorabally (vocals) 
Drums: programmed by Paul Riches 
Produced by Ella Patenall and Naz Toorabally 
Co-produced by Paul Riches 
Recorded and mixed by Paul Riches

---

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Freedom

Our second "Lockdown Sessions" cover is this number by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young. We really enjoyed recording this and hope you like our take on this classic!

As previously mentioned, we're sadly spending the lockdown apart as we live in separate households, but we're using this time to do some of the things we've put on hold, and that includes recording a few covers of songs we love.

Quarantine Covers

Ohio - Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young cover

We've been wanting to cover another Nirvana song for a while and what better choice than a song that Courtney Love claims is about her vagina. This is one of my (Naz) favourite Nirvana songs and we hope you like our version of this classic.

This is our third cover in our Lockdown Sessions series. It's not been easy being apart during this time, but we've really enjoyed recording these covers.

Heart-Shaped Box

Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana cover

Happy Holidays! We shared our version of Coventry Carol a few years ago and wanted to revisit this carol during what is a particularly challenging holiday season for everyone. Take care

Recorded and performed at home by Naz & Ella
Cello performed and recorded by Jonathan Gerstner
Mixed by Paul Riches

Coventry Carol

Internalised explores the fear of “coming out” to yourself and draws on our personal experiences as queer women. We wanted to explore the manifestation of internalised homophobia within a relationship, highlighting the guilt and shame it can evoke, as well as the inner turmoil with regards to gender expression. In this song, we share our story in in the hope that it will help bring solace to other queer people going through a similar experience.

Lyrics

Not sure who I am
Know who I’m meant to be
Which story today
It’s getting harder to breathe
Long hair, flowing dress
Am I the woman society wants me to be?

Is the threat real
Or is it in my head?
I wish I could read their minds
Come clean
I’ll set me free
Is it all internalised?

Girlfriend
A word I can’t get off my tongue
Can I call you my friend
What does it matter anyway?
Drop your hand
Look the other way
Too many years of hiding in the shade
Wrapped in shame

Is the threat real
Or is it in my head?
I wish I could read their minds
Come clean
I’ll set me free
Is it all internalised?

I want to leave my head
Tear down the walls
Hold your hand in mine
Out in the light

And for the first time in my life
I’m proud to call you mine
For the first time in my life
I’m proud to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
(I feel the shame melt away
I feel the shame melt away)
To call you, to call you mine
To call you, to call you mine
(I feel the shame melt away
I feel the shame melt away)

I feel the shame melt away
(hold me close)
I feel the shame melt away

Credits

Recorded and performed at home by Naz & Ella
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis

Artwork - drawing by Meera Solanki

In this episode, we discuss internalised homophobia and draw on our personal experiences as queer women that inspired our single Internalised. We also talk through the instrumentation and production choices behind the song and delve deeper into the lyrics.

About the podcast
Not Another DIY Music Podcast is a music and social commentary podcast aimed at DIY artists and music lovers alike, hosted by Naz Toorabally and Ella Patenall of aptly named duo Naz & Ella.
Discussing everything from internalised homophobia and normalised sexual harassment to music production and songwriting, Naz & Ella take you on their journey as DIY musicians and share their advice along the way.

If you have any thoughts to share with us on this episode, please email nazandella@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @nazandella

Buy/stream Internalised
https://songwhip.com/nazandella/internalised
https://nazandella.bandcamp.com/track/internalised

Not Another DIY Music Podcast | Internalised homophobia, gender & layering sounds

No (Doesn't Mean Convince Me) is the second single off our forthcoming EP (DE)HUMANISE.

Watch the music video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/MzMJFln3qJg 

Listen on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/album/438DpMlQxG8Z6rr5Kx337B?si=LfRym2oLRCuHbBJ6eLKuSQ 

// Lyrics //
Lights out
Under a veil of darkness
Haze of alcohol
Feel your eyes
Following me
My senses stir

I’m the prey
You’re the hunter
Anonymous
Not responsible

No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me
No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me

I’m done
With feeling like a piece of meat
I’m human too
It’s time
This normalised behaviour
Is put to sleep

I’m a person
You’re a predator
Identified
Held responsible

No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me
No doesn’t mean convince me
I said no, doesn’t mean convince me

Sexualised then demonised when we don't reciprocate
Sexualised then demonised when we don't
(I know my mind)
Sexualised then demonised when we don't reciprocate
(I know my mind and I won’t play)
Sexualised then demonised when we don't

I know my mind
I know my mind and I won’t play
I know my mind
I know my mind and I won’t play

How many times do I have to tell you to leave me alone?
Didn’t you hear me the first time?
I said no

// Credits //
released March 24, 2021
Written, recorded and performed by Naz & Ella
Mixed by Dan Lucas at Anchor Baby Recording
Mastered by Charlie Francis
Artwork: drawing by Meera Solanki

In this episode, we discuss normalised sexual harassment and speak on our personal experiences that inspired our latest single No (Doesn't Mean Convince Me). We also talk through the instrumentation and production choices behind the song, share embarrassing demos and delve deeper into the lyrics.

About the podcast
Not Another DIY Music Podcast is a music and social commentary podcast aimed at DIY artists and music lovers alike, hosted by Naz Toorabally and Ella Patenall of aptly named duo Naz & Ella.
Discussing everything from internalised homophobia and normalised sexual harassment to music production and songwriting, Naz & Ella take you on their journey as DIY musicians and share their advice along the way.

If you have any thoughts to share with us on this episode, please email nazandella@gmail.com or DM us on Instagram @nazandella

Buy/stream Internalised
https://songwhip.com/nazandella/internalised
https://nazandella.bandcamp.com/track/internalised

Not Another DIY Music Podcast | Sexual harassment, Kate Bush & bluesy riffs

Fusing a gritty, grunge-infused aura with traditional folk-inspired musicality, Naz & Ella channel their anger and frustration at the world through tightly wound harmonies and intricate guitar riffs.

Blending influences such as The Cranberries, Nirvana and PJ Harvey, the north London-based duo’s raw and intimate sound captivates listeners, with their delicate but defiant vocals front and centre.

Naz & Ella

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