Hey.
It's been about a months since you left us. I can't say I'm really surprised, we hadn't spoken in what seems like forever, though I won't lie and say it didn't hurt. I hope you're doing well, wherever you're at. I'm still the same as I always am. 
At first I thought that I'd get over it with time, but after about a month, I still wasn't better, so I decided that I'd try and write a song in the style you used to make. I thought it might help. 
This is it. It's only short, and I don't think it's all that great at capturing the sound of your old music, but I'm including it anyway.
Thanks again,
-Alyssa

closure

oh how i long for those days

Hey, it's me again.
This is the second track I made, and as you might guess by the title, I'm still struggling to recreate your sound. I think this one is closer, but it's still pretty rough. I tried recording some of my own sounds to fill the gaps of this one, and I guess it works. I tried to pick sounds that I associated with that whole period of my life. Do you ever think back on it? We used to talk all of the time, but now we can't. I guess that's just how things go, and I should grow up and get on with my life.
Anyway, thanks again,
-Alyssa

i keep on trying but i cant recreate what made it special

Hey you.
Since last time, I've been thinking about stuff again. All of the stuff I did wrong, how I was dismissive about your issues, always making it about me. I was pretty stupid, and I wished there was some way for me to show you that I'm not like that now... so I decided to go looking for some trace of you left active here online.
So far I haven't been very successful. You used to have a few accounts for various musical projects, but the most recent thing on any of them was from right before you left us. I figured those were dead ends, although I'll admit I still check them sometimes.
Then I thought about checking for your main account, but I couldn't find it. I guessed that that was it then...
Now I'm writing this all out, it all seems a little creepy, and it's definitely depressing. Sorry. I'm sure it'll stop once I get over it, but until then, I'm still trying to find a way to reach you.
Thanks,
-Alyssa

still trying to find a way to reach you

Hey, me again.
It's been about 4 months now, and I thought I was over everything, but then last night I had a dream where you came back, and I could apologize... but now I'm awake and you're gone again. I won't lie, it's eating me up inside. I made this song to deal with it a little. I helped me somewhat, though I can't say how much of that is due more to time, since this one took me forever to actually finish.
I hope that one day you'll come back, and we can make the group whole again but given the way we used to treat you I can understand if you don't want to hear from us ever again. The degree to which we had ignored you in those last few months was really not okay, and seriously messed up. Anyway, I feel like I'm ranting, so I'm going to stop now. Here's the track.
Thanks as always,
-Alyssa

i had a dream where you came back and i could apologize but now im awake and youre gone again

Hey, did you know your first EP is like five years old now?
I didn't until I was digging through our old messages to find some of the audio for inspiration.
Anyways, this is the fifth track I've made so far, and I think this one is the closest in terms of sound, even if it doesn't give me the same feelings. I might be wrong though.
This is the part where I do that awful thing I always do where I make it about me. Sorry in advance. I haven't had much chance to work on these in a while, since I'm already having to balance between work and college. I'm starting to feel kind of old now, although everyone that I know thinks that's silly. Either way, it has me thinking more and more about what we had, and how much that time means to me now, even if I didn't appreciate it then. I've been told that feeling is common.
Anyway, enough about me now, since that's not what this is about. This track was made in just over half an hour. I don't know how much that shows, but I can't think of much else to add, and with having nobody to talk about music with then I'm somewhat forced to leave it here. I think it might be a little repetitive, but given that the song is short anyways I don't think that matters too much. Other than that, I don't really have anything to say, so I guess I'll stop talking.
Thanks,
-Alyssa

was it really that long ago it seemed closer in my head

Hey.
This is the last track, if you can call it that. 
It's been 6 months at this point, I've realized that this whole thing is doing me more harm than good, and I've decided to stop. Your music was so you, and with me just being me, I don't think I'll be able to make it feel the same.
I read some old messages from the time I was gone (time I regret dearly) and found that you had changed your name again. I looked it up, and found the last upload was 27 days ago. It was a good track, I'm glad to see you're still making songs. You always seemed to be just above everyone else's skills.
I thought about reaching out, but I don't have the confidence to do stuff like that anymore. I guess if you see this, and you know it's about you, then you could message me... or message us, we all miss you. If not, then I guess that's that.

Closure

How has it already been 5 months since I last released something? I guess time kinda just got away from me again.

Anyways, here's a track I made in just over 2 hours.

Thanks for the time,
-Alyssa

Mourning Yesterday

Several years ago I had a dream that for some reason stuck with me. The details are hazy, but I'll try my best to tell the story here.

In the dream, I was working as a park ranger high up in the mountains during a brutal winter. My job mostly consisted of sitting in a small cabin listening to the radio for any reports of missing people, but also sometimes involved heading down to check up on the people who lived in a small village nearby. 

I remember that I hadn't just gone there for work, I was also there looking for something but I can't recall what. The village had one police officer, who had offered to help me find whatever it was I was looking for. 

The next thing I know, I'm looking down the only street in town, and he's talking on the radio; I remember him shouting at me "what about your son? did you think I wouldn't find out? now my kid is sick and it's your fault!". I'm not sure why but those words fill me with guilt and fear, as if I've just brought some force of destruction upon him.

The last bit that I remember, I'm back in the cabin and there's a locked metal box on a table in front of me. Whatever is in there, it's what I was looking for... but I can't get it open.

All of this really long description just to say that this track was inspired by a dream I had, but maybe the context will help with the vibes.

-Alyssa

Zealot's Reflex Box

Happily Ever After, Now Only $99.99!

A very inconsistent producer, both in genre and upload schedule.

Alyssa R. K.

Popular tracks