closer

blinding lights

i'm ur girl
April 2/Week 39
4.4.23

VERSE
tequila ocean
let the alcohol move you closer
dipping in ur toes 
but mine were all in
now i’m wishing the sun wasn’t setting
and it’s so cold 

PRE
fourth of july
the sparks are flying 
i’m tryin make em last 
and i dont know why
i caught ur eye
but before we turn to ash 

CHORUS
i’m on my knees
no i can’t be
just another girl to be your friend 

i’ll be your worst enemy
before i will ever be your friend
cause im ur girl
but ur not my boy
i dont have a choice 

V2
lifeguard beach stand
tangled up in a towel on the sand
first time you put your bracelet round my hand
21 and drunk in love is magic
i swear we had it 

then the rain came pouring down 
we ran to your car
then to your house 
nothing would be the same
like before
now i can’t ever be less 
need to be more

i let the plane fly me away 
cause theres only one time and place i’m not your friend
im your girl

i'm ur girl

False Alarm
E walk down
or capo 4 C, G thing, F, G, Am
april 23 / week 42

VERSE 
busy busy bee 🐝 
its okay to feel anxiety 
it hurts it stings 
because it is only lying
and tying 
up your wings from flying 

CHORUS 
Disconnect the panic button 
You know that’s there’s 
nothing to be afraid of 
It’s just noise that can’t hurt ya

Unplug the system that’s been buzzing 
You know that you’re 
running from nothing thats wrong
it’s just a false alarm 

VERSE 
busy as can be
but i don’t wanna become a machine
cause it makes me
turn me into my own enemy 
cause mentally
it gets to me 
all i knows that i have to / life would better if i’d 

CHORUS 
Disconnect the panic button 
You know that’s there’s 
nothing to be afraid of 
It’s just noise that can’t hurt ya

Unplug the system that’s been buzzing 
stop the sticky thoughts 
that you keep running from 
it’s just a false alarm 

POST CHORUS
disconnect the panic button
when ur fears start talking
fly above 

you dont have to listen to
the voice that lies to you 
just fly above

false alarm

Learning How To Love Me
(May 7/Week 44)
CAPO 5 F, C, Am, G
5.13.23

VERSE
every day i get to decide
the clothes on my body
and the words inside my mind 

when did i start telling myself lies 
of all the things to think 
why am i unkind 

PRE
push and fight
strike a match to burn out every time 
i know i’m not far behind
but my mind tells me otherwise 

CHORUS 
yeah i’m learning to love me
learning how to talk 
like i’m my best friend
calling when she’s lost 

i’m learning how to listen (soften)
when shes being hard 
saying all the things
that i knows shes not 

yeah i’m learning how to 
love love me
learning how to
love love me

VERSE
i’m standing tall 
i’m standing up high 
watching my thoughts like clouds in the sky 
and i know that it gets cold when the suns gone 
but i can always dance and let the storm rage on 

CHORUS 
yeah i’m learning to love me
learning how to talk 
like i’m my best friend
calling when she’s lost 

i’m learning how to listen (soften)
when shes being hard 
saying all the things
that i knows shes not

and i’m learning all her triggers
all the ways she copes
when she’s in the dark 
picking up her phone 

and when it gets hard
to like what i see
i remind myself 
i’m just learning
yeah learning how to 

yeah i’m learning how to 
love love me
learning how to
love love me



to face herself 

 but my mind likes to tell me otherwise

learning how to love me

billie (a song i wrote about a 3 year old girl)
6.26.23
june 4/week 48

VERSE
feather cloud floating in the distance 
in the summer breeze
you kick off your shoes at the swing set 
with all the big kids 

PRE
let me in your secret garden 
where flowers are ever blooming

CHORUS
you are 
the stars
the light 
sparkling 
in your deep 
blue eyes
making me feel like
i’m looking at life 
for the very first time 

VERSE 2
dressing up however you want to 
there’s nothing you won’t be 
running after the ice cream truck 
oh but you melt me

PRE
you paint every color in the world 
don’t care/mind if it gets on your shirt 

CHORUS
you are 
the stars
the light 
sparkling 
in your deep 
blue eyes
making me feel like
i’m looking at life 
for the very first time 

BRIDGE 
you fly from me earth
pull me out of my roots 
your name i write in chalk 
billie i love you 
and there’s no discerning the things that you do 
cause i know i’m learning more from you 

OUTRO
feather cloud floating in the distance 
in the summer breeze

billie

Love Me Better 
7.22.23
G, D, A, Bm, Em
(June 25/Week 51)

Verse
shut out the world and put down the blinds 
to the sun and in my mind 
heart pounding looking back 
to the door and my past 
damage is done a million times 

wasting the time filling the gaps
making sure to cover the tracks 
but when it rains it pours
in a self-loathing storm 
needing light to come through the cracks 

PRE
Em, Bm, A
All the pain and the ache I’ve ran away
Stay inside and let run me 

CHORUS
Oh I 
Can love me better x3
Than this 
I didn’t know that I was hurting until I was breaking 
It’s a crying shame carrying this weight 

Yeah I 
Can love me better x3
Than this 
Don’t need to put myself together 
With a fleeting fix
I don’t have to break
With every tidal wave 
Yeah I can love me better than this way 

Verse
adrift at sea 
i try to cling to what i think i see
is a life boat is what i need to rescue me
but i’ll stay afloat
on my own 

PRE
once i fix all the holes and my broken parts 
once i put back the pieces in my heart

CHORUS 

POST
Love! 
Love!
Love!
<3 ME BETTER

BREAK DOWN
oh i can love me better
love me better
love me better than this x2

POST

Love Me Better

KIDS 
Capo 4 f, g, c, am 
7.29.23 
(July 2/Week 52)

Verse 
Always thought about how’d it feel  
Sitting on top of a Ferris wheel  
When I’d be looking out to the lights of town  
But you’re the one making me spin around  
And now I’m living it it’s for real

Chorus  
Yeah we’re like kids 
A little Foolish 
Putting on your favorite jacket
There is nothing  Sweeter than this  
Grabbing my hand and start to dance
Oh but my feet  
They are floating
 Higher than the highest ceiling  
Down on the ground they’ll never hit 
Yeah we’re like 
La la la kids

Verse 
Always thought about how’d it go yeahh 
Whenever they’d say yeah you just know
 I never settled for no one i’d rather be alone 
 i’ve always been someone good on my own 
 And now I’m living it it’s for real

Chorus 
Yeah we’re like kids
 A little Foolish
 Feeling the butterflies flying
There is nothing
 Sweeter than this  
Writing our names down in the sand
Oh but my feet 
 They are floating
 Higher than the highest ceiling
 Down on the ground they’ll never hit
 Yeah we’re like 
La la la kids

Bridge
Yeah it makes me feel like my life has just started  
But it’s the same thing I’m just in a bigger body
 Yeah I think I think the way I did when I was younger
 No wonder my eyes are filled with wonder

Breakdown chorus

Chorus

kids

Good Man / Frame of Inferiority
(about never being good enough for someone who you could constantly try to do the right thing for)
song 54/july 16
8.30.23

VERSE
you slipped out my hands
glass on the floor now i tiptoe and fumble 
make sure that i don’t land
on one of your edges that make me stumble

PRE 
i’m a tally that you strike 
trying to get it right 
coloring in your lines 
i’m a target for your eye 
seeing stains on white
no you don’t see that i’m

CHORUS
a perfect picture on your wall
you find all the flaws in 
even when i give my all 
it’s not good enough and i’m
picking myself up like you never would 
Wishing you could understand  
like a good man should 

VERSE
your halls are like a court 
everything i say or do is held against me 
i’m living in 2 worlds
one thats mine and one that was never for me

CHORUS

POST
i’m not gonna be 
your hanging masterpiece 
to pick apart and please 
no i’m not gonna be a 
frame of inferiority 

when i’m not 
gonna be what you want 
no one could live up 
to what you expect, project 

be what you need
i’m just a human being 
i know that we’re all a work in progress
honestly is there a way to be 
everything that you ever wanted 
honestly
you were the one i wanted 
But you never saw me as faultless

like a good man should

good man

You'll Never Have Me.
9.7.23
Db

VERSE
Lightning on skin 
You are glowing 
I feel something 
Didn’t feel comin’
The nights spent with you 
Didn’t think I would lose you to her 
Every line you blurred 

CHORUS
I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
You get to keep her 
In your memory
You’ll never have

My heart I poured into a dream
Believing we could ever be
So I’ll leave her in your memory 
You’ll never have

POST
me oh me
yeah you lost me 
but you got her 
you’ll never have 

VERSE
Blush on my cheeks
Drop everything 
When you call to meet 
Pick me up and drive
All night you’re mine
Missed warning signs 
Broken bruised with battle wounds 
I’m a soldier who fell for you

CHORUS
I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
you get to keep her 
in your memory
you’ll never have

BRIDGE
my calls
my all 
How did I fall 

my trust 
you broke
all my false hope

now i exist
in your past you’ll always miss 
my ghost
you chose
a dead end back road 

CHORUS
I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
you get to keep her 
in your memory
you’ll never have 

I poured my heart out took a leap 
On believing we could ever be 
So I’ll leave her don’t need her 
and the memories 
You’ll never have ….

POST/BRIDGE
my nights 
my life 
you know that i’m one to fall twice
my trust 
you broke
believed in every bit of false hope

now i exist
in your past 
you’ll never get to have back 

my ghost
you chose
to drive us down a dead end back road 

POST
me oh me
yeah you lost me 
but you got her 
you’ll never have 
me oh me
Oh yeah it hurts 
that you got her 

no you’ll never have
no more of my nights
chasing 2 girls
lose the one thats right 

you saw the best
best side of me
and now she’s yours
all of yours to keep

ideas:
But I learned the rules to your game 
Be charming then walk away

you'll never have me.

embers

handles

AVAILABLE FOR STREAMING NOW!
https://ffm.to/dvko6be

pretty boys 
Eb MAJ/100 BPM

LYRICS:
I’m tryin to be true 
Make all the right moves
But what’s the use 
When sometimes you want forbidden fruit 

They’re the ones hanging on the fence
But thorns don’t stop you from picking them 

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who taste a bit like poison 
But I still crave 
Them like they’re 5 star portions 

A pity for pretty boys 
Pretty pretty boys

I’m broken I’m spent 
But one text I’m up to bat again 
I’ll swing I’ll hit
But as good as I am I still end up on the bench 

Cause they’re the ones sitting on the fence 
(One in one out)
But sitting pretty I can’t resist 
(All I want now)

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who are so fucking adoring 
But theres no caution tape
They come without a warning

You can pick your poison 
I chose mine
I like pretty boys

The ones who have thorns around their vines 
Pretty pretty boys

pretty boys

pretty boys (sped up)
F Major/115 BPM

LYRICS:

I’m tryin to be true 
Make all the right moves
But what’s the use 
When sometimes you want forbidden fruit 

They’re the ones hanging on the fence
But thorns don’t stop you from picking them 

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who taste a bit like poison 
But I still crave 
Them like they’re 5 star portions 

A pity for pretty boys 
Pretty pretty boys

I’m broken I’m spent 
But one text I’m up to bat again 
I’ll swing I’ll hit
But as good as I am I still end up on the bench 

Cause they’re the ones sitting on the fence 
(One in one out)
But sitting pretty I can’t resist 
(All I want now)

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who are so fucking adoring 
But theres no caution tape
They come without a warning

You can pick your poison 
I chose mine
I like pretty boys

The ones who have thorns around their vines 
Pretty pretty boys

pretty boys (sped up)

pretty boys (slowed down)
D♭ MAJ/85 BPM

LYRICS:
I’m tryin to be true 
Make all the right moves
But what’s the use 
When sometimes you want forbidden fruit 

They’re the ones hanging on the fence
But thorns don’t stop you from picking them 

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who taste a bit like poison 
But I still crave 
Them like they’re 5 star portions 

A pity for pretty boys 
Pretty pretty boys

I’m broken I’m spent 
But one text I’m up to bat again 
I’ll swing I’ll hit
But as good as I am I still end up on the bench 

Cause they’re the ones sitting on the fence 
(One in one out)
But sitting pretty I can’t resist 
(All I want now)

I like pretty boys 
Who are pretty pity choices 
But I still play like i could win a fortune 

I like pretty boys 
Who are so fucking adoring 
But theres no caution tape
They come without a warning

You can pick your poison 
I chose mine
I like pretty boys

The ones who have thorns around their vines 
Pretty pretty boys

pretty boys (slowed down)

where u started

The Funny Thing 
Song 1

12.3.23

VERSE
i’m so over it 
picking all my pieces up 
but you’re the one that has got a broken heart cause 

PRE
you try to poison me 
then say that you love me 
hit and run your silence speaks
its interesting that

CHORUS
the funny thing
is if you really cared
you woulda called by now

yeah the funny thing
is if you really cared 
you woulda shown me how

but your apologies 
coded in apathy 
they’re running cold by now / skin deep down  

but the funny thing 
is i don’t miss a thing 
now that you’re gone by now 

VERSE
i’m so sick of all 
these vampires in broad daylight 
blaming me
and making me question my mind 

PRE
CHORUS

the funny thing

false alarm (full prod)

Christmas Time
B, E, F#, G#m

VERSE
another year 
another tree
we put the lights up on 
another year
it’s going faster 
checking boxes off

PRE
plenty things could be
so much better 
but i can’t ask for anything 
when we got christmas together 

CHORUS
when the lights go up 
all i see is you 
and all the love
and the years we’ve been thru 
there’s nothing i 
want under the tree tonight 
when i got you at christmas time

VERSE
all i do’s 
think of you 
in december crowds

your hard work 
making sure 
we got all we need now 

PRE
plenty things could be
so much better 
but i can’t ask for anything 
cause we got christmas together 

no i dont ask for anything 
cause we got christmas together 

CHORUS
when the lights go up 
all i see is you 
and all the love
and the years we’ve been thru 
there’s nothing i 
want under the tree tonight 
when i got you at christmas time

POST
when its christmas time
watch the snow and lights 
when its christmas time
want you by my side

BREAKDOWN CHORUS
when it’s you and me
there’s nothing that could be 
under the tree
that i could ever need
cause all i see
is all i want tonight 
when i got you 
got you here at christmas….

BIG CHORUS
when the lights go up 
know all i see is you 
and all the love
and the years we’ve been thru 
there’s nothing i 
want under the tree tonight 
when i got you at christmas time

my very delayed (or early) christmas song

Drop of Rain 
1.17.24

draft 4 
1.25.24

VERSE 1
when you slam the door 
I shatter to pieces onto the floor 

When your thunder strikes 
There’s a hurricane raging on inside 

PRE
it’s overwhelming 
it’s a lot 
to feel everything 
more than you than you would want 

CHORUS 
cause a drop of rain
feels like the whole ocean 
crashing waves of emotion 

hits me 
till i break 
a drop of rain 
feels like I’m caught in the ocean waves 

VERSE 2
i play all your right notes
you pretend you don’t notice
but it’s what you don’t say 
that takes my breath away

when you start a fight
let your lightening strike
it’s an electric shock
right into my heart 

PRE
it’s overwhelming 
it’s a lot 
to be so sensitive 
in a world that’s not 

CHORUS 
cause a drop of rain
feels like the whole ocean 
crashing waves of emotion 

hits me 
till i break 
why does a drop of rain 
feel like I’m caught in the ocean waves 

POST

BRIDGE/OUTRO 
it’s overwhelming it’s a lot
but i make it through 
in a world that doesn’t make it easy to do 
but when i hear the thunder rising 
i don’t need to let it rain like it used to

drop of rain (song for feeling everything so much)

Say You Won’t Let Go
C, G, D
2.2.24
Song 4

VERSE
When I lose my mind in my misery 
I rise from the ash from the words you tell me
You know I’ll be okay
Even when I don’t and I don’t find my own way
You bring me right back 
Cause you’re the one that lasts when nothing does around me

CHORUS
Say you won’t ever let go
Ever let go
Ever let go 
No
Say you’ll hold me so close
and won’t let go 
ooooo

VERSE 2
when i let my thoughts get the best of me
you’re just like air i needed to breathe 
Cause you know I’ll be okay 
You see the light thats at the tunnel where i cant see 

CHORUS
Say you won’t ever let go
Ever let go
Ever let go 
No
Say you’ll hold me so close
just dont let go 

you cover me from rain 
always hold the space/always know the way 
know how to calm down the waves 

Say you won’t ever let go

say you won't let go

Catch 22
Capo something C, G, Am, F
2.3.24
song 5

VERSE
My brain is like a roller coaster, moving fast
It’s always got a way to go off track
It gets away with making me so sad
By always needing more
By thinking all it lacks

PRE
And I don’t want to be an impulsive decision-maker
But I over complicate and over contemplate and waver 

CHORUS
Why can’t I make up my mind 
There’s so many things I don’t decide
But when I do I change my mind again
go back to wondering

Why do things look good for a second 
Then I commit and I regret it
What’s the catch here
When no matter what I do
It’s a catch 22

VERSE
is it self-sabotage 
or from when i quit my job
and i was scared of the cost 

maybe i’m scared to make a mistake
afraid of turning the wrong way
but i don’t wanna be that way 
so i keep asking the same

CHORUS 
why do i make up my mind
To be a place where I don’t decide 
What I want and what I like 
I don’t know who’s underneath 

i’m done holding myself hostage
clearing the web that i got caught in
whats the loss when 
no matter what i do 
it’s all a catch 22

POST
ooo
catch 22

scared to lose
but either way i choose
it’ll still be a catch 22 
gotta pick and choose
which one i lose 
but i know the truth 
it’s a catch 22

catch 22

Back Alive

when did girls become monsters? (voice memo)

When did girls become monsters? 
2.16.24
Song 7 
Capo 3 F, C, G, Am

VERSE
I used to be hiding under my sheets 
Afraid of what’s lurking
But now it’s my friends not what’s under the bed 

PRE
Cause the good hearts get tainted
They break and get jaded 
They project their scars
Come out in the dark
Like they’re some kind of creature 
That’s clawing with danger  
And I’m the prey 

CHORUS 
When did the girls 
Stop being sweet 
What made them grow up 
To end up so mean 

When did their hearts
Break down and bleed
Now they turn around and they back stab me

When did girls become monsters?
You can only run before they haunt ya 

VERSE 2 
I used to bend to all their grand demands 
Now all I do is mend all the teeth marks and all the unhealed parts

PRE
Because their only wish is
You get just as vicious 
And that you stay caught
Captive in the dark 
And become the same creature
Of cold twisted features 
But I’m okay 

CHORUS 
When did the girls 
Stop being sweet 
What made them grow up 
To end up so mean 

When did their hearts
Break out and bleed
Now they turn around and they back stab me

When did girls become raised
To hurt and cheat 
They never grew up they grew claws underneath

So the girls became monsters 
They didn’t know they didn’t have tuh 






IDEAS:




/ but I won’t stay 

grim

When did girls become monsters?
You can only run before they haunt ya 



Even if they didn’t wanna 

With claws underneath 

You grow up or you grow claws underneath

Fighting their way

To get what they need
By wearing make up it cover underneath

By manipulating and gaslighting me

A beast that feeds on 

To hurt and cheat / need 

rain 
Pouring on me

All of their pain is now hurting me 

chained 
Fake 
Stay out too late 


When did girls get so harsh 



become monsters?
You can only run before they haunt ya 


DOUBLE CHORUS 

Write last chorus 



It’s hard to play nice
It’s easier to become a hater 

You don’t see all of them 

Worst ones you don’t even know 

cause they turned into vicious 
Mischief 

let

I used to bend / spend 

I used to spend all of my time

Vicious manipulative creatures 
Disguised 
Different types

I never thought when you grow up 
Some 

I Never thought that when you grow 
Some don’t 

When you grow up some don’t and stay caught/lost
Unhealed, wounds, turn to teeth marks

VERSE draft
My army always loyal to me
But sometimes the war it leaves 
Bruises and scars and we fall apart 

I used to be afraid of what could be 
Lurking around the streets 
But now it’s the friends turned to enemies 

I used to be afraid of the dark and be
Hiding under my sheets 
But now it’s the ones I tried to call friends 

I used to be hiding under my sheets 
Afraid of what could be lurking 

I used to be afraid of what could be 
Lurking

Now they used to be my friends 

But now I’m more afraid of the ones who want to know me

It’s about my friends who have good hearts but they’re tainted and became mean and jaded because they think
It’s the right way or it’s how they get what they want and where they’re going 

Unhealed wounds hurt, but not as much to the ones that did it first


My army dedicated to me

V2
My army is my ancillary 
Always there when we bleed

Always loyal 

Turned into a hater 
Who preys on good natured 

That only got meaner 

Danger
Behavior l

It’s always easier to become a hater 

I know they didn’t mean to become so damn mean 
The weight of the world it gets hard to carry 
It beat them down till they became their scars 
I still believe in who you really are but 

Empty 
Piece 
Cold 

Kept getting darker

when did girls become monsters? (voice memo)

On the Brink
2.11.24
Song 6
Capo 3 Am, F, C, G

VERSE
make sure you stay in the lines
you gotta suffer till you rise
lies i heard a thousand times

what if i did my own way 
what if i didn’t play the game
i thought i had to play 

CHORUS 
maybe i’m brink 
of doing something radical 
doin the unusual 
maybe i don’t wanna think

maybe i’m on the edge 
of doing something new for me
letting go of 
what used to be 
everything 
making me 
break like this
maybe i’m on the brink 

VERSE
i can’t imagine leaving 
this place i’ve learned to call home
but i can’t imagine staying here 
staying sad doing everything on my own 

so i’ll do it for the girl
that sat on the floor crying 
spending all her nights
trying 
fighting
just to make it work 

CHORUS 2
cause maybe i’m on the brink
of doing something magical
something illogical 
maybe i don’t wanna think

maybe i’m on the edge 
of doing something good for me
letting go of 
what used to be 
everything 
making me 
break like this
maybe i’m on the brink   
maybe i’m on the brink  
maybe it’s a good thing 
that maybe i’m on the brink

on the brink (voice memo)

How Did I Get Here?
9.28.22
Capo 6/7 C, G D

VERSE
driving down the coastal line 
i let myself blow with the sand

some like to take the highway
but i never remembered those trips 

cause now i’m opening the blinds
to a brand new paradise
thats my own

did the pines and palms
and the tugging in my heart 
always know

CHORUS
oh how did i get here?
mmmm
like it was always clear?

oh its ineffable
how its so wonderful
this perfection 
makes me question 

oh how did i get here?
mmmm

VERSE
i meet me in the morning 
barefoot run to smell the roses
in the yard 
mountains the distance
does it get better than this probably not

when the moon is rising high 
cricket symphony at night 
breathe in the breeze

was i graced by divine mother 
or were my lucky stars
guiding me 

and who needs a lover
when i have all this love surrounding me 

CHORUS

POST
how did my risk turn into bliss
always knew that i would make it
cause itd always be okay when 
im attracting never chasing 

never been more sure of myself
only listening to myself
know i can have all that i want
making what i wanna become




aroma of white roses

im like the 
hummingbirds flying in the air
thats land 


my best friends are the roses
and they always let me talk 

dont need all the cars in the garage




nowhere to go 

feeling is so pure
golf course
beach town
small neighborhood 
new energy 
biking 
run out the house barefoot jump in the pool

its all gonna work out 
its all gonna come together
staring at the stars

as if it was all clear?
mmm
like i belonged
to something that knew all along 
all i’d ever want 

so how did i get here?

its ineffable
how its all so wonderful
all theres to do is
get out the way 

oh how did i get here?
mmmm
as if it was all clear?
mmm

that got me here


making my own lane



some take their trip on the highway
some like to drive on the highway 
but i dont mind carving my own trail

but i like the backroads 

always just had to get out the way 

unexplainable
cause its all so effable 

better than ive known 

was it the sacred land
was i graced by the temple
or my 

waiting for a place to land
how did all my twists n turns 
allow me to end up here

stick the landing here

how did i get here?

When did girls become monsters? 
2.16.24
Song 7 
Capo 3 F, C, G, Am

VERSE
I used to be hiding under my sheets 
Afraid of what’s lurking
But now it’s my friends not what’s under the bed 

PRE
Cause the good hearts get tainted
They break and get jaded 
They project their scars
Come out in the dark
Like they’re some kind of creature 
That’s clawing with danger  
And I’m the prey 

CHORUS 
When did the girls 
Stop being sweet 
What made them grow up 
To end up so mean 

When did their hearts
Break down and bleed
Now they turn around and they back stab me

When did girls become monsters?
You can only run before they haunt ya 

VERSE 2 
I used to bend to all their grand demands 
Now all I do is mend all the teeth marks and all the unhealed parts

PRE
Because their only wish is
You get just as vicious 
And that you stay caught
Captive in the dark 
And become the same creature
Of cold twisted features 
But I’m okay 

CHORUS 

When did girls become raised
To hurt and cheat 
They never grew up they grew claws underneath

So the girls became monsters 
They didn’t know they didn’t have tuh

when did the girls become monsters?

strangers are friends you don't know yet!
3.2.24
Week 8

SPOKEN INTRO
let me just start off by saying
its already been an effin YEAR
let’s shake things up 

VERSE
let’s pack up and move yeah (snap)
and pack up my car yeah (snap)
get on an airplane yeah (snap)
level up n hit refresh and getaway 

CHORUS
cause there’s a million different things
across the world i wanna see
and a million different people 
in the world i wanna meet 
so i’m gonna go 
gonna let go uh oh oh 
strangers are only friends ya don’t know 

i can’t find in my mind anymore eff’s to give 
no one telling me any more the way that i should live 
so i’m gonna go 
gonna let go uh oh oh 
strangers are only friends ya don’t know 

POST
strangers 
are just 
friends that 
you don’t know yet

VERSE 2
let’s get a new fit yeah
get my hair did yeah 
go on a mission yeah 
level up to a place i never been 

CHORUS
cause there’s a million different things
across the world i wanna see
and a million different people 
in the world i wanna meet 
so i’m gonna go 
gonna let go oh oh
strangers are only friends ya don’t know 

i can’t find in my mind anymore eff’s to give 
no one telling me any more the way that i should live 
so i’m gonna go 
gonna let go oh oh
strangers are only friends ya don’t know 

SPOKEN OUTRO
this year is already feeling better
yanno sometimes you just shake things up and shift things around yanno what i mean?
let’s go
book the flight
make the move 
do the dang thing
make it happen ya’ll
peace


go on the date


do the dang thing 



n spin the globe 
strangers are only friends i don’t know 







spin the globe 
run to wherever i wanna go 


everywhere i roam i’ll make it my own home 





so i’m gonna go 
gonna let go and go roam 






everywhere on the earth is my home 

oops i can’t find any eff’s to give
no one telling me how i should live


don’t care about the things i used to 
need to reignite the spark  


oops i don’t care 

don’t want you to be the one who got away


i’m gonna try on another life 


i’m so obsessed with my life 



on my mental state 
level up and elevate my mental state



I think I’ll move out yeah
Pick up my car yeah 
Get on an airplane 
Elevate my state yeah 
To a new state 

Level up my mental state 
Get some mental space clear away

leaving.

Lightning on skin
You are glowing
I feel something
Didn't feel comin'
The nights spent with you
Didn't think I would lose you to her
Every line you blurred

I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
You get to keep her
In your memory
You'll never have

My heart I poured into a dream
Believing we could ever be
So I'll leave her in your memory
You'll never have

Me oh me
Yeah you lost me
But you got her
You'll never have

Blush on my cheeks
Drop everything
When you call to meet
Pick me up and drive
All night you're mine
Missed warning signs
Broken bruised with battle wounds
I'm a soldier who fell for you

I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
You get to keep her
In your memory
You'll never have

My calls
My all
How did I fall
My trust
You broke
All my false hope
Now I exist
In your past you'll always miss
My ghost
You chose
A dead end back road

I gave you the best part of me
I showed you every little piece
You get to keep her
In your memory
You'll never have

I poured my heart out took a leap
On believing we could ever be
So I'll leave her don't need her
And the memories
You'll never have

My nights
My life
You know that I'm one to fall twice
My trust
You broke
Believed in every bit of false hope

Now I exist
In your past
You'll never get to have back
My ghost
You chose
To drive us down a dead end back road

No you'll never have
No more of my nights
Chasing 2 girls
Lose the one thats right

You saw the best
Best side of me
And now she's yours
All of yours to keep

you'll never have me. (sped up)

4.1.24 / Week 10: 3.10.24 Goodnight Sleep tight - Song 10 

Goodnight sleep tight 
You’ll be more than alright
Every time you make a change in your life
It can hurt inside 

It’s okay to make space 
Love and hate this phase 
But all the pain just means you are growing

Cause it’s gonna be ok tonight 
Even if you gotta hold yourself tight

Choosing myself choosing all of me
Never came easy
Sought all their approval but mine 
ooo

Now I’m breaking bad habits
Changing the pattern
Clinging to familiarity 
Was an easy life to lead 

But it’s gonna be ok tonight 
Gonna be the leader of my own life
And I don’t know where i’m gonna land quite yet 
But anywhere is better than

Regret 
Of not trying 
To be anything 
There’s still sunsets
I haven’t seen yet

And it’s gonna be ok tonight
Gonna find my way from the inside 
All i know is what I can’t get back is time 
And anywhere I’ll be
will be alright

goodnight, sleep tight (work tape)

ego death

music is how i make sense of what goes on in my life. this is my diary in song form <3

Nellie Mar

Popular tracks