"I never thought being overweight would be the biggest blessing in my life.
I never thought I’d be able to pull this off.
I never thought I’d be telling my story.

But all I can hope is that my baby darling will read this someday."

Read the whole piece here: http://neshamas.com/my-daughter-my-secret/

Voice acting by Aliza Polansky

My Daughter, My Secret

Voice acted by Elie Benhiyoun. Written by an anonymous writer.

"Most of you know my father. You know him as that happy, warm and welcoming Shaliach. Always ready to lend a hand no matter what, from helping shlep boxes to having a deep meaningful conversation with a congregant at 3:00 in the morning. Our home was perpetually open, literally filled with every walk of life no matter what time of day. Songs were sung, L’chaims poured, a revolving door of of uplifted characters. This is the the man you all know and love, this is the man I never knew."

Read the rest of the post here: http://neshamas.com/my-father-the-shaliach/

My Father The Shaliach

"“Oh no, she can’t go anywhere else. We can’t transfer her anywhere else. State mental hospitals are the end of the line for adolescents. She’ll stay here until she can she can go home or to a long term residence,” announced Chaya’s therapist in the hospital.

This was after a trial visit at home for Shabbos, where she flipped out and became aggressive, biting me, throwing things at my husband, and trying to swallow a battery, which prompted my husband to call Hatzoloh on Shabbos and a trip to the ER and back to the state hospital.

They would not send her anywhere else.

This is the end of the line."

Read the rest of the post here: http://neshamas.com/my-girl/

Voice acting by Robyn Black

My Girl

"I started coming out when I was about 15. I wasn’t even sure what I was coming out as. I knew I liked men, but I also knew I liked girls. Or I kinda wanted to be a girl. Or at least I wanted to wear girls clothing. I didn’t know what I was, but I was figuring it out over long, late-night phone calls with a couple of close friends in similar situations."

Read the full post here: http://neshamas.com/back-in-the-closet/

Voice acting by Josh Rubin

Back In The Closet

"To my abuser,

What can I say to you, who has taken so much from me? Where do I start when it has taken me thirty years to finally acknowledge what you did to me? My heart has started to pound as I write these words. That is how much of a hold the abuse has over me."

Read the rest of the post here: http://neshamas.com/letter-to-my-abuser/

Voice acting by Mindy Schaper

Letter To My Abuser

"I woke up in the middle of the night, naked. I did not remember going to sleep like this. And then I found telltale signs: the scrunched sheets, the clothes, the wet sticky puddle. But my mind could not recall what happened.

However, instantly it knew just what transpired. It was not good. My insides repulsed, screaming: this is a rape! I did not consent! I did not remember it! I’m sharing a bed with a rapist, peacefully snoring in post-coital coma."

Read the full post here: http://neshamas.com/my-husband-raped-me/

Voice acting by Aliza Polansky.

My Husband Raped Me

"I’m your neighbor, your friend’s sister, your daughter-in-law, your daughter, your mother, your wife. Maybe I’m you. I’m willing to bet there’s a lot of us out there. You can’t tell by looking at us. Oh yes, we know how to play the game. We know how to dress, how to speak, where to shop, where to be seen. We are part of the chorus – we blend into a sea of other faces and wigs on stage – nothing noteworthy or conspicuous about us."

Read the full post here: http://neshamas.com/off-derech-low/

Voice acting by Robyn Black

Off The Derech On The Downlow

"When you fall in love with an ex hassid

You need to know that their kisses are unadulterated by the media world

That all they know is to feel in the moment and not for what they see on tv

That their romantic words are spoken from a past of never speaking to a woman, to never falling in love with anyone except their mothers"

Read the full piece here: http://neshamas.com/fall-love-ex-hassid/

Voice acting by Elie Benhiyoun

When You Fall In Love With An Ex Hasid

This podcast is a recording of the pieces on Neshamas.com, a site for anonymous Jewish writing.  Each piece is done by a voice actor who has generously volunteered his or her time to this project.  Our goal?  To give voice to the people who feel they do not have one.  We do it on our site, and now we're doing it with actual voices.

About Neshamas:

Neshamas was created because of a need we, the creators of Hevria, saw in the Jewish community: to share what’s deep, down in our souls without the added pressure of putting our names behind the work.

For reasons that vary, from communal pressure to internal shame, publicly published pieces about subjects like abuse, conversion, identity, and more can be incredibly intimidating, even dangerous.  But the value of sharing our souls, our true selves, is incalculable, and essential to the process of inner growth and acceptance.

And so we created Neshamas, a place where any Jewish person can share their souls absolutely anonymously.  In writing, art, or any other form.  There will be no judgments here. No determinations of quality of work, or whether you “deserve” to share what your soul is dying to express.  You are automatically accepted just by being here, whether you’re a reader, a sharer, or both.

Everyone here is judged as a neshama, in other words.  A soul, not a body.  Valuable simply for existing.  Names do not matter here.  Only souls.

Neshamas

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