CAPPUCCINO
to the tune of ‘Despacito’ 
by Justin Bieber, Luis Fonzi & Daddy Yankee
-
I’m a lover of percolation
Can’t get enough of your caffeination (Yeah)
The saving grace of every third world nation (Yeah)
Ohhh, Moccona

From flat white to a dark caffé
Roast those beans and just grind away
Gotta love that flavour, add the foam in foamy 
(Foamy)
You fill my paper cup up when you pour it long
Sip this cappuccino or I’ll burn my tongue
The way they filter it so clear
Will flush the turds out of my rear
Try a macchiato, it’ll taste strong

[VERSE 1]
Brew
Farmers pick the berries from their coffee farms
Add soy milk and hold the warmness in your palms
Swallow the sweet nectar to increase your pulse, oh
(Soya? Yum!)
Office workers chugging at their coffee bars
Yuppies on their laptops with a demitasse
Housewives reconsidering their life insurance

[HOOK]
Cappuccino
Gotta have my daily dose of that caffeine, oh
Aint enough to microwave some Ovaltine, no
It’s our legal beverage methamphetamine, yo
Frappuccino
You can keep your vodka and your pinot grigio
I prefer hot coffee to a chilled glass of vino
It’s a diuretic that will help your pee flow

(Dulce dulce dulce!
Dulce dulce! Oh!)

[CHORUS]
How I love the fragrant smell
And wanky Starbucks lingo
Latte, espresso or mocha
Yes, I just worship this bean so
(Java me, oh, java me, oh baby!)
Serve it in a cup or mug
A Cuban cortadito
Freshly brewed, smoking with cream, so
Milky and steamy and sweet, oh

[VERSE 2]
Add lemon to Espresso Romano
Or top it with a marshmallow
Each sip will set your heart aglow
And freshens up your frontal lobe
Starbucks on each corner block
I visited for lunch, once
Now I go there hourly
Since I first took the plunge plunge
Arabica with chocolate flavour fusion in my latte
Freddo, Freddo, Freddo
Icy frozen coffee on a hot day
Some will take it whiter than Albino goats in Norway
Others like it black as crows in Zimbabwe

[BRIDGE 1]
I’m keen for this bean, oh
Java lover freakshow
Vittoria fanboy
Move over, Pacino
Pronto with espressos
Promptly they destress us
Moka pots the size of wine nebuchadnezzars
Pasito is weak, yo
Pour it on the street, ho
Fresh Americano
No Gloria Jeans, no
Fetch a hungry civet
Lots of seeds you give it
Drink the Kopi Luwak
It’s what’s delivered
(Oh, yeah)

[HOOK 2]
Cappuccino
Gotta have my daily dose of that caffeine, oh
Aint enough to microwave some Ovaltine, no
It’s our legal beverage methamphetamine, yo
Frappuccino
You can keep your vodka and your pinot grigio
I prefer hot coffee to a chilled glass of vino
It’s a diuretic that will help your pee flow

(Dulce dulce dulce!
Dulce dulce! Oh!)

[CHORUS 2]
How I love the fragrant smell
And wanky Starbucks lingo
Latte, espresso or mocha
Yes, I just worship this bean so
(Java me, oh, java me, oh baby!)
Serve it in a cup or mug
A Cuban cortadito
Freshly brewed, smoking with cream, so
Milky and steamy and sweet, oh

[A CAPPELLA]
Cappuccino
My barista’s coffee grounds are magnifico
I just want to hear that steaming hot machine, oh
Every time he spells my name out, it’s a typo!
(¡Galão!)

[BRIDGE 2]
A kilo of beans go
Into the machine, oh
Early morning brood
Is soon brewed away clean, yo
Latte, espresso or mocha
Coffee is liquid libido
(Java me, oh, java me, oh baby!)

[OUTRO]
A creamy placebo
Saviour of us weak folk
Daylight hours are wondrous
But gee, I can’t sleep though
(Just another cup or three, yo
I’ll be awake for a week, oh)
Cappuccino
---
Performed by Nick Foran, Kyle Nozza and Nib Oswald
Keyboard and drum track by Ray Sayah
Written and produced by Nib Oswald

Cappuccino - Justin Bieber Despacito Parody

Nib Oswald