track 01.

SELF PRODUCED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

LYRICS:

(INTRO) 

Been a few years,
Been a few years,
All alone,
Lost all of my fucking peers,
fucking peers,
Ain't want nothing,
Til' I Just sit in tears 
Sit in tears 
Looking out my bedroom window 
Like where the fuck have I been 
All this time 
Can't see it 
on my own 
Til you showed me the way 
I wasn't meant to see 
Wasn't meant to be 
Fucking me up mentally 
You hit it off instantly 
I saw you with him down the street 
If you said you needed me 
Then you never needed me 
I was there every single day 
Even when you said you feeling me 
But in the end I'm on my own 
Tryna piece together 
All the memories I need to hold 
And even if you saying no

(BRIDGE)

I'll be the one in the snow 
I've been chasing all this time 
You said gun it out my mind 
Now we gone, forever time 
Looking for the pieces I can't find 
Inside my fucking mind
I've been chasing fame 
Like I've been running a whole marathon 

(VERSE)

Figure it all out 
What you told me
When we broke up 
I'm not one for feelings 
But you riding on mine 
Shows off
It's been to fucking long 
Since I've been 
Letting it all out
what you wanted then 
Is not what I've been 
thinking bout yeah 
Don't need obsessive bitches 
just assess what you done wrong
Cause I don't wanna play these games
I think you did me wrong uh

(OUTRO)

did me wrong 
I'm not in the zone 
For the mental halt 
what you know 
I've seen it before
Told you If you called 
Tell me lies 
Your face I despise 
I don't need no eyes 
Only mine 
Look straight at the prize 
Cause I'm getting 
OLD

Seventeen  Pt.1

Stitches

Stitches (intro)

firestarter

batshit

lyrics:

cause my skins turning purple, don't know where to go
looping in circles, i'm out in the cold
slowed down heartbeats, i'm stuck in your snow
waiting til' next year to see if you'll grow

i won't be there for next week
i do not care if you text me
it makes sense for you to leave
still here for ya

long days i spent, wanderin' around
long ways i went, making you smile
it's been like that, for a while now

cause my skins turning purple, don't know where to go
looping in circles, i'm out in the cold
slowed down heartbeats, i'm stuck in your snow
waiting til' next year to see if you'll grow

adomania

lyrics:

always feels like nothing, 
always feels like something,
leave behind a world of things that i would love to come back to
nothing ever feels like,
circling inside a memory,
it's always in-line with everything that i see outside of these walls

i'd love to see your smile,
but everything's too complicated,
maybe it's a sign to leave this wretched microphone to dust up

always irritated,
never finish projects,
leave them in the burning smoke,
with my own selfish tendencies, and

it never let up, 
the grip still holding tight,
i hope that one day i can hold you the way that it's holding me

double time, honey

lyrics:

is it cold outside 
what's the weather like?
I can't see that far inside 
what's the weather like? 
life is beautiful
life is beautiful
life is beautiful
tell me life is beautiful 

I can tell you somethings wrong 
with the way I see things 
imma find my way around 
once it's summer or spring 
if you don't believe in me 
I can tell you to leave 
but I would rather sit in bed 
and pretend that I can't see

life is beautiful

lyrics:

bby you can catch me in the middle of nowhere 
I fell in love once it was with your gold hair 
and I cannot stand it when you're no longer there
and I fell in love once it was never the same again 

pour me up a cup 
drink til I'm drunk 
pass out on the floor 
ion give a fuck

middle of nowhere!

lyrics:

show me where to find 
another reason like you
just to stay alive 
been a crazy year without you
and maybe I'm alright 
but I don't wanna spite you 
I know that you hate me 
you know that I love you

flipping checks 
double maybe triple 
my budget 
I'm on set 
crazy how we got these options
say my name when we fuck 
it's what'll get us numbers 
I'm not high enough 
looking for another outlet

I'm gone 
baby don't call for me 
I'm sorry 
you were never even in my league 
feel like a ghost
way I'm invading your tv screens 
don't pity me
I said don't pity me 

fuck this 
fuck that 
fuck you too
did me dirty twice 
that's shame on you
c'mon lil bitch 
tell me what you gonna do?
acting all hard 
but you can't tie your shoes 

that's a fact 
I don't do that 
counting up stats
and I'm counting up racks

stay alive!

lyrics:

I can't even function without something in my system 
and I bought a couple ounces just to turn around and flip 'em 
if you ever needed answers baby you ain't been a victim 
it's the eery silence comforting what once was a mission 

take your time back
hold up 
I see where your eyes at
try me 
baby you ain't gonna try that 
try that yeah

I can't even function without something in my system 
and I bought a couple ounces just to turn around and flip 'em 
if you ever needed answers baby you ain't been a victim 
it's the eery silence comforting what once was a mission 

got a couple screws loose 
I can't lose you too
I've been pondering my suicide
I'll be there in a few
and I wonder when I'll do it 
and I wonder when I'll shoot
but I think I gotta do it
but I think I gotta go 

going somewhere, everywhere I'm feeling like a ghost
perfect timing anywhere, look at me like a joke 
you got blood upon your hands, blaming me that's dope
hope you find your peace, with the earth and the stones

I can't even function without something in my system 
and I bought a couple ounces just to turn around and flip 'em 
if you ever needed answers baby you ain't been a victim 
it's the eery silence comforting what once was a mission x2

Ounces

ounces

lyrics:

i need something basic 
I need to schedule my facelift
you'll never make it on the great list 
on the nice list
I do it effortlessly 

I feel so pretty when my face is full of makeup 
they want the old me told em they gon need a shakeup 
put my dress on
make em wake up
she said I'm cute but I'm not about the fake love x2

trans flag on the wall 
yea I did it all 
not about to fall 
not about to fall off

my angel am I pretty?
my angel am I pretty? 

will you be there with me? 
will you be there with me?

I feel so pretty when my face is full of makeup 
they want the old me told em they gon need a shakeup 
put my dress on
make em wake up
she said I'm cute but I'm not about the fake love x2

i need something basic 
I need to schedule my facelift
you'll never make it on the great list 
on the nice list
I do it effortlessly

FACELIFT

lyrics:

upside down 
I can't find
I don't want 
I can't waste time 
I've been on
something else
I've been running
from this hell
and 

you can't change me now
I'm falling down down down 
and when I hit the ground
I'll run run run run run 
you can't change me now
I'm falling down down down 
and when I hit the ground
I'll run run run run run 

takes a while 
running outta time 
eyes gone blind 
I've been fine and 
mere recollection 
I can't find 
the thing 
the piece 
or what's left of what's mine and
you have it 
and I want it 
the shiny rock 
that I'm falling for 
hope you left it
when you started 
with the arguing
and all the lying cause 

you can't change me now
I'm falling down down down 
and when I hit the ground
I'll run run run run run 
you can't change me now
I'm falling down down down 
and when I hit the ground
I'll run run run run run

MISSING PIECE

EP Entirely produced by @zestyus

lyrics:

today I told myself that I can't leave you
resting in your place 
I know that things will change but deep down 
I know it'll stay the same 

two years I spent inside this hell 
with pearls and diamonds to ease the pain 
she cast me aside for her own entertainment
and told me baby do you think that were there yet?

(two white diamonds I mean business 
two white bitches can't hit this 
bag full of pearls and we kissing 
back against the world and you missing x2)

I just did ten lines 
dunno who to call 
razor sharp nails 
scraping against the wall
I've been in the studio 
making all this art 
razor sharp nails 
scraping against the walls

(two white diamonds I mean business 
two white bitches can't hit this 
bag full of pearls and we kissing 
back against the world and you missing x2)

today I told myself that I can't leave you
resting in your place 
I know that things will change but deep down 
I know it'll stay the same 


Pearlzz (prod. Zay)

EP Entirely produced by @zestyus

lyrics:

couple watches, melted diamonds, do no handouts
I just spent a couple thousand airin bitches whole standouts

spend a couple hundreds watching all the bands come 
I'm not sick I'm tired all the smoke got a fuckin man down 

and you flopping like a bitch I can't tell if you're bout it 
popping out the fifty cal I'm making out at devils address 
really spent the check on plugins bout to earn another hunnid 
I'm bout to check in at the five star make the devil count it
whatchu saying bout it? 
I could make a move watching TV while you're sitting there shouting 

couple watches, melted diamonds, do no handouts
I just spent a couple thousand airin bitches whole standouts

spend a couple hundreds watching all the bands come 
I'm not sick I'm tired all the smoke got a fuckin man down 

ZzZ (feat. Killpurp) (prod. Zay)

lyrics:

it's a string
holding me down
I can't seem 
to float high enough up off the ground 

I know that we've been lost inside 
I know you feel like there is nowhere left to hide 

hung up too much 
hung out too little 
and I can't function 
without holding on 
I wonder if he's 
somewhere out there 
cause I've been trying 
to grab what's not there 

it's so tiring 
that tired weight 
I carry on 
I carry 
I can't see 
my own reflection 
and I carry on 
I carry 
holding onto hope 
this hopeless mess 
I carry on 
I carry 
hopeless, tired 
and afraid but I still
carry on 
I carry 

I wonder if there's more to this than what I've seen so far 
when the fabric shifts I wonder if I'll break along 

and now it's too late to be something that I'll never understand 
stuck between the clap and friction that's between your hands 

falling for the thing I've always fallen for 
the promise of forever 
I would trade my mind and soul just to make sure 
that you-

balloon theory

lyrics:

can't force myself to like myself , that's a fact
 I have way too many fits to "just relax"
I got I got visions of what's coming next 
can't even blink can't even think I think it's wraps 

porcelain skin 
android circuitry in me
faking disguises 
comes to me real simply 
I got real problems
no wrench could be fixing 
fixated on things I know I shouldnt be missing 

I swear I'm not even the only one 
sustenance regaining from that good synthetic blood 
I don't wanna think about the things I do up front 
I don't wanna pay you for your service til it's done 

round and round and round we go
In circles I cannot control 
i know I know it's hard
i know I know we'll fall x2

there it goes my final fight 
my last hoorah my final stride 
I know if we change the tide
and change our mind 
well make it through the- x2

can't force myself to like myself , that's a fact
 I have way too many fits to "just relax"
I got I got visions of what's coming next 
can't even blink can't even think I think it's wraps 

porcelain skin 
android circuitry in me
faking disguises 
comes to me real simply 
I got real problems
no wrench could be fixing 
fixated on things I know I shouldnt be missing

porcelain skin

lyrics:


is the force that holds me strong 
is it strong enough to break the chain 
and help me find my way back home 
help me stand up when I am betrayed 
is the force that holds me strong
is it strong enough to keep me chained 
thousand years that we have spent
all abandoned and restrained 

I am internally bleeding 
this exoskeletal mess
from all the rust and the wires
I think my chances have met
I'd rather take the easy way 
than the way I'm gon' regret 
trajectory shifter think
my last chance to connect 

hearts are cutting off 
I can't even see 
I can't even talk 
where we stopping now?
scraps to pick up 
and then I'm tapping out 
lots to think about
drives are messing up 
where we stopping now?
where we stopping now?
hit the ground fore 
the shrapnel come 
they hate when we're around 

everybody talk so much 
but they say nothing in return 
holo calling 
grabbing double middle fingers triple
in my hand I'm feeling so absurd 
everybody grabbing guns 
everybody grabbing everything they can see
and I'm 
hidden in the ground 
waiting calculating everything they can't be and

I am internally bleeding 
this exoskeletal mess
from all the rust and the wires
I think my chances have met
I'd rather take the easy way 
than the way I'm gon' regret 
trajectory shifter think
my last chance to connect 

(you will each need to bleed on the primary sigil, here)

is the force that holds me strong 
is it strong enough to break the chain 
and help me find my way back home 
help me stand up when I am betrayed 
is the force that holds me strong
is it strong enough to keep me chained 
thousand years that we have spent
all abandoned and restrained 

forces that hold me

After realizing that the world has essentially moved on she attempts to reconcile with her regrets and do what she used to do before passing, taking tram rides, people watching, realizing that despite having the ability to do this it won’t change the fact that she is in-fact dead. this song more-so serves to be from the perspective of the world and the effects it can leave on the psyche of an already struggling person, the speed at which day to day life moves is horrifying.


lyrics: 

take the long way home 
greet the stranger on your way 
no one bats an eye
no one sees your face 

I bet it must be hard 
I bet you don't cry every night 
I tore the shackles off 
tried my best to stop it all 


it was a long December 
it's all I can remember
I tried my best to 
I tried my best to make it count

it happens, so?
happens more than I can count
it happens, so? 
I did my best all that's left is doubt 

on the train home 
you wonder if you'll make it back 
between these people 
there is nothing for you left

but it happened, so?
it happens all the time 
it happened, so?
would you wanna take it back?

forward steps are counted backwards 
I can't see what I am after 
longing for the things that mattered 
gone and changed, it made me shatter
happily forever after 
family that made it happen 
said they can't believe my actions 
went and made it happen

i did my best, i tried my best

Shortest track on the project. “etheric” serves as her final decision, battling the bits and pieces left of her morality she decides to possess her brother, leading to near immediate hospitalization, she is forced to watch the medical staff attempt to bring him back to no avail, the track ends abruptly with the sound of a flatline.

lyrics:

its embarassing 
you're pathetic 
you are nothing 
you are flesh and blood 
its saddening 
you exist but 
there is nothing 
that'd stop the drop 

you wanna do your part? 
die and rot 
let me take control 

you wanna live your life? 
grow and fall?
let me take control 

there's nothing difficult about your role 
there's nothing difficult about my goal 
its as simple as I'm making it sound 
you just gotta let me know 

time ticks your life away 
turn back and then look this way 
the realm to the heart is well known 
but the same patterns repeat and go 
I'm trying so hard to run 
but you're trying to make me stay 
you're trying so hard to fall 
but I kept you in this maze
EKG going crazy 
calm you down's the only way 
I think that I might just fail this 
I don't know what to say 
tried hard to make me crazy 
now I'll be the one that you blame 
I'm just trying to fix you 
fix me fix this 
now i know it's too late

etheric

lyrics:

fighting urges 
to 
bend the knee alright 
and 
step into the light 
to 
change our way of life 
to
change our way of life
change our way of 

everything is always hurting 
til the day it's perfect 
I can't mend your broken hearts 
but I'll give them all purpose 

everybody's clueless
everybody's hopeless
I can't be your leader 
but I'll show you that it's worth it 
show you that it's worth it 
worth it 

it's dull
and it's changes apart of the weather 
part of the reason that keeps us together 
part of the reason I'm here and I'm breathing 
part of the reason we're still undefeated 

it's got my name in it's prints 
names on some lists 
corporations that breathe in our mist
I can't even change what it is 
any day will be ways where we cease to exist 
this is it 

fighting urges 
to 
bend the knee alright 
and 
step into the light 
to 
change our way of 

fighting urges 
to 
bend the knee alright 
and 
step into the light 
to 
change our way of life 
to
change our way of life
change our way of 

sigilbearer

This track serves as the first anchoring point of determination, she realizes that it’s been a significant amount of time since her passing alongside finding out that she has a brother, it serves as a personal reminder to both her and me of the ups and downs and uncertainty that life can bring in a whim.


lyrics:

life has got it's ways 
to make you question fate
to make you feel like you are wrong
when in the end it's all okay  
and what I'm tryna say is 
life has got it's ways 
you either sink or swim
you either make it through the day 

I got some things that I can't voice
I got these feelings I can't change 
sometimes I lose my temper 
whenever I see your face
and my senses they all go blind 
I'm in this state where I can't hide 
and I just wanna grab that knife 
and stab him right between the eyes 
it's not easy being me 
when all I see is simply red 
I put that that gun up to my head
it happened all over again 

sink or swim 
you're my lucky charm 
my way outta here
sink or swim 
you're my lucky charm 
my way outta here x2

life has got it's ways 
to make you question fate
to make you feel like you are wrong
when in the end it's all okay  
and what I'm tryna say is 
life has got it's ways 
you either sink or swim
you either make it through the day 

I'm so angry and jaded 
finding my way through the 
currents building 
courage to face what you wanted to know
all along the 
trainway station
make it to my new 
home it's waiting 
for my arrival I can't seem to find my 
way 
my way 
it's sink or swim 
my way 
my way 
you're my 
lucky charm 

life has got it's ways 
to make you question fate
to make you feel like you are wrong
when in the end it's all okay  
and what I'm tryna say is 
life has got it's ways 
you either sink or swim
you either make it through the 
day
make it through the day 
sink or-

lucky charm

The turning point. Realizing that nothing she does is working, that nothing she does changes the outcome of anything and in a moment of desperation she makes the decision to kill her parents’ newborn son, her brother. This song serves as the calm before the storm i guess, with the two voices making up her conscious and the conflicting emotions she is feeling with the idea.


lyrics:
(Nibs)

I've been thinking bout the things that I might do today
I've been thinking of some ways
how could I be unaware?
my name my name my name matters
does it really matter though?
every choice that I have made
they have come inside my ho-
hah hah
bleeding thru my- wha?
huh huh huh huh
I'm bleeding thru my wha?
huh huh huh huh
bleeding thru my

I got a couple questions for the so called god
that's in my rear view
I got a couple of things that I gotta settle
with my kin kin kin kin
I got a couple questions for the so called god
that's in my rear view
I got a couple of things I do that count towards my sin sin sin sin

and we fall apart forever
oh we're graciously embraced
my soul that is still tethered
but it cannot be replaced
I've been all alone in rivers
I've been all alone in seas
every question that you pose
always leads you back to me

leads you back to me
if you wondered bout your nightmares
they still lead you back to me
I've been making all the choices
every vision that you see
every hand that you have felt
every reliability

know you like yourself
but I like you more
can't be morally wrong
when it's not got a soul x2

(Clarity)

carry on the flame
let the person who see it see my pain
sick of hurting, feeling like a burden, drop the shame
c'mon, tell me what's my fucking name?

it don't matter 'cause i'm sick of playing all these games
i'm not gon' entertain something that you really ain't
won't get a thing out of me, i take it to my grave
time isn't something you can save

so why not take the risk instead of playing safe?

got a couple questions for some gods
what i gotta do to really beat the fuckin' odds?
or am i really stuck in this state of vod
-ka 'til i hit the fuckin' rocks?

alcoholic tryna pull away
tryna make her wave, tryna make it through the race
but i'm losing pace, so don't ask 'bout the race

how can i run away when canvas on display?
gotta make it out the way like
get out of my face

seldom (feat. Clarity)

The aftermath of her decision, idling by watching the parents grieve more than they’ve ever grieved for her, as far as she knows. It’s a moment of introspection for the character as she’s forced to once again face the mountainous battle that is self-worth, she reflects back on her friends and the things she was told and the advice she was given whilst she was still alive.


lyrics:

time is 
time is 
time is 
every-

oh Evelyn 
would you save me from this skin 
that I am in
this time around
I'll be the one that's wandering about 

I killed myself today 
ten years in the past I laid there in the ground
they bury bodies 
but could never find mine 
to care about 

I know 
the only problem lies within our hearts
you said to do my part 
and I have so

it starts 
with you 
and ends with me 

hatred grows 
hatred grows in me 
hatred grows
hatred grows in me 

oh Evelyn 
would you save me from this skin 
that I am in
this time around
I'll be the one that's wandering about 

oh Evelyn 
would you save me from this skin 
that I am in
this time around
I'll be the one that's wondering about 

time is 
time is 
time is 
every- x2

a chameleon's final wish

Longest track on the project. Moment of true venting, acceptance and a considerable amount of jealousy, despite the choice she has made. The feeling of regret fades quite quickly after witnessing the amount of grief and tears that were shred for someone that was on the earth for so little compared to her. Also serves as a door opener to her quickly deteriorating state, she’s starting to get events wrong even make up new ones, it’s all about time with this one. The clock doesn’t stop ticking for you, it’s indiscriminate, if you let it, it will leave you behind.


lyrics: 

blankets and the passage
of time 
I will see you 
at the end of the line

and the halfway mark 
is almost beside us 

tell me will you play your part?

and it's all too close 
I struggle to find a reason to hide 

tell me will you play your part?

yesterday tomorrow is 
yesterday tomorrow is 
yesterday tomorrow today 
yesterday tomorrow is x2
 
(part 2)

where does my head lay on the floor 
when all I've got is nothing more
exhausted all the routes I know 
used up all the friends that I know 
and I've been burning every bridge 
I've been learning to forgive 
yesterday tomorrow is 
yesterday tomorrow 

sacrificial lamb 
you'll give me all that I need 
saw myself again 
out of body alien
I wonder if there's places for me 
and I wonder when can I go 
still a child in a sense
that the wonder's truly never lost 
do you hear the bells toll
do you hear them call your spot?
let the heavens split apart
I make the heavens split apart 
let the heavens split apart
I think I've truly done my part 
let the heavens split apart 
I make the heavens split-

 today will be special
yesterday was all the same
you've been knocking on my glass
only got yourself to blame
slipping outta consciousness 
not here to entertain 
clawing at the walls 
only name I've got to wail

yesterday tomorrow is 
yesterday tomorrow is 
yesterday tomorrow today 
yesterday tomorrow is x2

(part 3)

always the afterthought of every conversation 
every person that I spoke to always basic
bandaid for the soil in which I wasn't  buried
I hope the pain I carry transfers to another 
I am just a knight without it's archer
sitting by idly watching as they laugh I guess it's karma
I got no reasons to be kind no plot holes in my armor
just a vessel floating by 
how long has it been? 
I lost count of bodies scattered
does it ever end?
does it ever? 
does it ever end?
does it?
does it ever end?
does-
does it

yesterday tomorrow today

Years have passed since her suicide, she is unaware of this and still angry.


lyrics:

starts with you
ends with me
seeing things
artificially
hour glass
so much slower
time will pass
when you're older

I misplaced my soul
for a couple selfish goals
took my life to go
body bleeding in the snow
been a couple decades
since I've seen another home
think it's time we go
said I think it's time we-

[instrumental break]

breathing in the smoke of my time
many lifetimes it's about time
I cannot waste my fading breath
on a couple chalked outlines
I don't wanna know what time I spent inside of purgatory it's okay I'm about fine
I don't wanna know how many times I counted down
for my birthday just for you to not be surprised
I've been on a roll of switching houses
I've been everything you ever wanted
celestial perfection took a bullet to the brain saw my own body float and restarted
you put salt on my wounds I allow it
you put ice on bone dry skin little did you know I already found it
I already found it
I already found it
I already

purgatory (album version)

This is a point of desperation in the arc of the story where she’s still fighting to be remembered being unaware as of yet that years have passed since her passing.

lyrics:

it's a string
holding me down
I can't seem
to float high enough up off the ground

I know that we've been lost inside
I know you feel like there is nowhere left to hide

hung up too much
hung out too little
and I can't function
without holding on
I wonder if he's
somewhere out there
cause I've been trying
to grab what's not there

it's so tiring
that tired weight
I carry on
I carry
I can't see
my own reflection
and I carry on
I carry
holding onto hope
this hopeless mess
I carry on
I carry
hopeless, tired
and afraid but I still
carry on
I carry

I wonder if there's more to this than what I've seen so far
when the fabric shifts I wonder if I'll break along

and now it's too late to be something that I'll never understand
stuck between the clap and friction that's between your hands

falling for the thing I've always fallen for
the promise of forever
I would trade my mind and soul just to make sure
that you-

balloon theory (album version)

Title track. At this point she is hesitant to return to the house where she roams both from the fear of what she’ll do and from the trauma she has caused/received but ultimately she does anyway. Upon her return she discovers that her parents have hired an exorcist which for her means that her time in this world once again is fleeting.

lyrics:

i won't be there and I haven't been for years
got bloodshot eyes and a veil to mask the tears
sacrificed so much just to be forced outta here
I got too many problems! thank god that you're here
and it's
time
lights go out
can't hide no longer
lights go out
it's lambs to the slaughter
lights go out
can't control it any longer
lights go out
breathe it in, breathe it in! ah!

had to get rid of me twice
I'm not surprised
had to close my eyes

saw what's next with my
iris closed
it's a thousand lives

no more playing it nice
I'm in disguise
gotta pay your price

I'm not playing nice
I can't be playing nice

wrong moves,
heart beat fast
hope it's not for the last time

my turn,
burn it down to the ash
that makes us all alive

particles inside the air
oh this must be where I stay
everything that you have said
take it far and fly away
oh this must be where I land
had your chance oh yea you did
but still had no words to say
just the screaming in my face
wanna be the only one?
you gotta put your sword away
show is far from over yet
it's best to get out of my way

had to get rid of me twice
I'm not surprised
had to close my eyes

saw what's next with my
iris closed
it's a thousand lives

no more playing it nice
I'm in disguise
gotta pay your price

I'm not playing nice
I can't be playing nice

wrong moves,
heart beat fast
hope it's not for the last time

my turn,
burn it down to the ash
that makes us all alive

particles inside the air
oh this must be where I stay
everything that you have said
take it far and fly away
oh this must be where I land
had your chance oh yea you did
but still had no words to say
just the screaming in my face
wanna be the only one?
you gotta put your sword away
show is far from over yet
it's best to get out of my way

esper (album version)

Realizing that she is no longer bound to this world and that her time is limited, she makes the conscious decision to set the house on fire, taking the lives of her parents alongside any hope that was left of existing.

lyrics: 

(ah ah ahhh)

through the fabric of the clothes
through the fabric of the mud 
through the fabric of these halls
through the eyes of everyone 
I have to walk the line again 
I have jumped the fated gun 
I let hatred skew the run
I let myself feel the- 

I walk around with my- 
I run around like I own it
I walk around with my-
I dance upon fate's doorstep x2

(clarity)

walk around with my-
guess i froze the time, you gon' fuckin' walk the line?
or be stuck, just froze in time?

like i would ever risk my life
like i don't keep my little friend up by my side
'cause i been looking out the side my whole life
since the day i lost my mind

and you lost yours, between the eyes
since the day, i control the vibe
when i hold the little guy
you wan' talk about a little fried?

you should've fuckin' seen they mind
what a rush, there's never been a bigger high
than walkin' around with something made to minimize


(nibs)

I walk around with my- 
I run around like I own it
I walk around with my-
I dance upon fate's doorstep x2

(clarity)

look at how i walk
i just let it talk for me
that bitch gon' bark for me
go ahead, try and ignore me

once i meet your doorstep with a .440

(nibs)

I love to watch it burn 
I love to watch it turn 
I love to make it twist, combust, rehearse
I hold the sun in one hand 
I feel its gonna burst 
I hold the moon in my palm
I feel it's got a curse x2

curse x12

walk the line (feat. clarity)

The aftermath, she consoles her parents that this was the way things were always gonna end whilst simultaneously battling with her own fading self, like it’s tarot counterpart, this song serves as a moment of great loss and destruction but also liberation and coming to terms with the inevitable.

lyrics:

i take some pride in the fire 
I like the way that it burns x2

putting on a face
take that how you wanna 
I know I took your place
I do whatever I wanna 

but I know it's what it seems 
it can't be you and me 
the only grieving part of us 
is parts that we can't see 

oh I'm somewhere in-between 
paranoia dreams 
where I sit and watch it crumble 
put my torn hands at the seams 

if you ask me what's left 
it's them
or me 
oh Evelyn 
I've truly lost it all

i take some pride in the fire 
I like the way that it burns x4

the tower

A moment of reflection for the character, sympathizing with the idea of death and comforting herself with the end, she wonders why her hypothetical body and mind are still fighting and clinging when she herself has given up and come to terms with the idea of taking the final step.

lyrics:

and you got 
what it takes 
to leave 
so why are you with me?
why are you with me?

in the room between
in the room between 
all these endless dreams 
"it's never what it seems with you"
"it's never what it seems"
"it's never what it seems"
"it's never what it seems with you"
"it's never what it seems"


and it takes your time 
and it takes your life 
and when you claim it all 
it takes no doubt 
and you know it's wrong
but it feels so right
just to sit and fall
indulge in spite 
but it takes some time 
and by birthright
you could be all that you wanted 
all that you wanted and more 

and It takes some time 
just to ruin my life 
and to make it fine 
I swear I'm fine 
it's just the time 
I told myself that 
I'd stop lying 
but all that I wanted was you
all that I wanted was you

room between

The ending. Morning comes with rainfall and she clings on to the final minutes that she has, wondering why nobody ever visits anymore, the house sitting idly in ruin with only mentions being how it went up in flames and her name being mentioned in newspapers and TV about how an entire family died in a house fire, or in whispers by kids who were told it’s haunted ground, then nothing.

lyrics:


its the house up on that hill 
it's the house by that riverside 
they say these strange things about home
they only say my name in whispers 

and it's the light 
it's the room 
it's the windows on the wall
and it's the light
it's the room 
and I've truly seen it all
and its the 

bright clap
loud twist 
wrong hand
right wrist
wronged fate 
right ways 
time's out 
no stakes x2

its the house up on that hill 
(house on the hill)
it's the house by that riverside 
(riverbeds collide)
they say these strange things about home
(there are strange things in this home)
they only say my name in whispers 
(whispered omens)

take the hand that feeds you 
slam it on the wall
figure out who needs you 
with them through it all

you wanted me to care 
well here is all I have 
hands that see through yours
it's like I'm never there

and it's the light 
it's the room 
it's the windows on the wall
and it's the light
it's the room 
and I've truly seen it all
and its the 

bright clap
loud twist 
wrong hand
right wrist
wronged fate 
right ways 
time's out 
no stakes x2

its the house up on that hill 
(house on the hill)
it's the house by that riverside 
(riverbeds collide)
they say these strange things about home
(there are strange things in this home)
they only say my name in whispers 
(whispered omens)

name in a whisper

I'M ONLY REPOSTING THIS BECAUSE GABBY TOLD ME TO

nibs

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