audio: september sparky deathcap by reno
movie: good will hunting

good will hunting II

"if somebody spoke to me the way i speak to myself id have to kill that son of a bitch" Theo Von

David Goggins x Sailor Song | An Uncommon Man

I didn't mean to

JUST GIVE UP

WHAT ABOUT YOU

"peter where do you go"

KILL THE BOY

I USED TO MAKE UP LONG SPEECHES

YOU CANT TELL BATMAN

AND WHEN WE FACED EXTENSION

I HAVE TO LET YOU GO NOW

I KNOW IM QUITE AND I KNOW I SHOULD SPEAK MORE

IM A PERSON WHOS NEVER GOTTEN THE CONCEPT OF

It's not Burnt Bitch; It's Tahedig [Volume 2] 
by' DiggingIntheGraves 

Track List:

01-Introspective 
02-The Witchery of Her Voice [remix]
03-Negar
04-SB 1
05-Information Wars
06-Death of an Imaginary Friend 
07-The Wooer [interlude]
08-Key to the Soul Next Door
09-Domestic Disturbance 
10-Her Agony
11-We Must Hide God in the Closet
12-Flickering Shadow
13-Instants Dramatiques
14-Siege of the Immortals
15-What My Mama Said [interlude]
16-Les Infortunes de la Vertu
17-Behind these Cold Eyes
18-Braced Teeth
19-In Who's Image
20-Memories of a Goodbye
21-Digging in the Graves [outrospective]

01-Introspective

Either peace or happiness,
let it enfold you

when I was a young man
I felt these things were
dumb, unsophisticated.
I had bad blood, a twisted
mind, a precarious
upbringing.

I was hard as granite, I
leered at the
sun.
I trusted no man and
especially no
woman.

I was living a hell in
small rooms, I broke
things, smashed things,
walked through glass,
cursed.
I challenged everything,
was continually being
evicted, jailed, in and
out of fights, in and out
of my mind.
women were something
to screw and rail
at, I had no male
friends,

I changed jobs and
cities, I hated holidays,
babies, history,
newspapers, museums,
grandmothers,
marriage, movies,
spiders, garbagemen,
english accents,spain,
france,italy,walnuts and
the color
orange.
algebra angred me,
opera sickened me,
charlie chaplin was a
fake
and flowers were for
pansies.

peace and happiness to me
were signs of
inferiority,
tenants of the weak
and
addled
mind.

but as I went on with
my alley fights,
my suicidal years,
my passage through
any number of
women-it gradually
began to occur to
me
that I wasn’t different

from the
others, I was the same,

they were all fulsome
with hatred,
glossed over with petty
grievances,
the men I fought in
alleys had hearts of stone.
everybody was nudging,
inching, cheating for
some insignificant
advantage,
the lie was the
weapon and the
plot was
empty,
darkness was the
dictator.

cautiously, I allowed
myself to feel good
at times.
I found moments of
peace in cheap
rooms
just staring at the
knobs of some
dresser
or listening to the
rain in the
dark.
the less I needed
the better I
felt.

maybe the other life had worn me
down.
I no longer found
glamour
in topping somebody
in conversation.
or in mounting the
body of some poor
drunken female
whose life had
slipped away into
sorrow.

I could never accept
life as it was,
i could never gobble
down all its
poisons
but there were parts,
tenuous magic parts
open for the
asking.

I re formulated
I don’t know when,
date, time, all
that
but the change
occurred.
something in me
relaxed, smoothed
out.
i no longer had to
prove that I was a
man,

I didn’t have to prove
anything.

I began to see things:
coffee cups lined up
behind a counter in a
cafe.
or a dog walking along
a sidewalk.
or the way the mouse
on my dresser top
stopped there
with its body,
its ears,
its nose,
it was fixed,
a bit of life
caught within itself
and its eyes looked
at me
and they were
beautiful.
then- it was
gone.http://bukowskiquotes.com/2018/11/charles-bukowski-poem-let-it-enfold-you-featured-in-movie-beautiful-boy/

Timothée Chalamet Reads 'Let It Enfold You' By Charles Bukowski

I KNOW IM QUITE AND I KNOW I SHOULD SPEAK MORE

nico.zq

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