Today’s Headlines:
Magical monkey money madness
Clown ruins King's birthday party
Handyman marries mango
Squid returns from 2-year holiday in France🇫🇷
Fake news turns out to be true
Sledgehammer jumps fence 
Henry sends 21 missiles to Siberia
Potato grows up and gets a job
Paranoid ant destroys shopping mall food court
Hotel grows legs and walks away
Computer and Alpaca give birth to twins
All music on earth destroyed
Humans recycled into thermometers
Missiles spread democracy and KFC
Crafty Grandma beaten at her at her own game
Henry can't get a one-way ticket to hell n back 
NASA and X launch cruise to mars
Aliens who wear budgie smugglers
Drainpipe kicks parachute
Fish needs a chair
Sparkly lamp eats pillow 
Your airline has homework
The largest and most poisonous tv in Japan
Pakistan's smartphones at superhero life prices, right now

nigel hazell