This song is about my problems finding Romance with the Germans. I have been here nine years and still don't understand their rules of courtship. I met a guy from Paris and he wooed me with sweet words and hot kisses. But he was a lier, he broke my heart. I was needing some romance you see, even if it was just a lie. I think its got something to do with the chocolate here- Ritter Sport- Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut. Why does chocolate have to be square and practical in order for it to be good. And isn't chocolate actually kind of fun, bad and sexy? But no, in Germany is Square, Practical and Good. 

This is a song about a girl that was killed by a kiss.
Yes, you've heard it before, but there's more to this.
Cause she's living in the land where fairytales don't exist.
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut,
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Or would you like "boeuf" not "fleisch"
Cause we, cause we, cause we kill it nice. 

I want you,
I need you,
I want you,
I take you,
I have you,
I take you,
I kiss you,
I kill you.
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Or would you like "boeuf" not "fleisch",
Cause we, cause we, cause we kill it nice.

She doesn't know, 
Well she forgot,
Who's the one,
Always on Top,
Number One,
Big Player,
Number One,
Life Saver

Quadratisch and Praktisch, Quadratisch, but is it good?
Quadratisch and Praktisch, Quadratisch, but is it good?

Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut
Or would you like "boeuf" not "fleisch", 
Cause we, cause we, cause we kill it nice. 
 

Quadratisch, Praktisch, Gut (instrumental)

It was the night of a thousand haircuts. When I asked myself am I happy or not. Where's my email arsehole? Thinking dramas insane, in my fantasy brain. I'm so beautiful, Can't you see me now or am do I sit on my own- TRAGEDY. With my thousand haircuts I will never give up on you- or is it me? With my thousand haircuts I will never give up, its true- make believe. 
It was the night of a thousand haircuts. When my eyes were neither open nor shut. Where's my pink Plastiqueland? I sit here in this hole. Thinking Dramas insane in my fantasy brain. Take a look at me bitches, I really don't care- cause I'm not going down with this catastrophe. With my thousand haircuts I will never give up on you- or is it me? With my thousand haircuts I will never give up its true- make believe.

The Night of a Thousand Haircuts (Instrumental)

Feminism Meltdown
Vegas on the Skids
A Smoke Machine
The Ghost of Jayne Mansfield
One Helluva Show

Night of 1000 Haircuts