I’m too weak for this shit

ny2la w/ kennedyxoxo (jolst x remghost)

went for something different.
made this with the intention to expand my creativity as an artist
and the hopes to understand myself more as a person.
hope you enjoy :')
prod. @branwenmusic & @rvrhiv 🖤
cover art done by @akanenosketch

~~lyrics~~
(i got these daggers in my spine)
(they come right at me from the skies)
(just tell me why, why)

knowing that you’re safe
could you save me from this bad dream
know it’s kinda late
girl i’m sorry that i’m asking
glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat  
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end
do you understand?

go into a rage 
when i see you in my sight
everyone the same 
and i always wonder why
tell me what it takes
just for you to stay mine

swear i’m fucking sick
everyone’s a prick 
running fucking swift
don’t ever stop, won’t ever quit
eh i was a mistake
in this world; why do i stay?
no, seriously.
THIS SHIT SUCKS!!!

hush…

glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within

i’m rotting from within!
i should probably go
there's blood under the snow 
infinity below
i hear the echoes of bellows

aren’t you just happy for me
i wanna be someone else
stuck inside a catacomb
it’s like my own personal hell 
just give me the signal 
and i’ll try to book it outta here
it’s not that i’m terrified
this is just how i look my dear 

i got these daggers in my spine
they started raining from the sky
i didn’t make it home in time
within your arms is where i lie

i rot, everything’s stupid 
i want you, but i’m useless
time’s not real, we are lucid 
i’m just, gonna lose it all


glass to the fist 
for the flesh in my skin 
don’t get attached
yeah my body full of sin

worms in my teeth
cause i overeat 
serenity i seek
but my heart is getting weak
you people make me sick
roll another spliff 
rotting from within
until i meet an end 
do you understand?…

infinity below [prod. branwen x rvrhiv]

i'm too weak for this shit (idealism)

produced by jpjp
vocals + lyrics by heylog & i'm geist

lyrics:
your caught around my throat
i don't think you wanna know what i know
you remember we were close
now i don't call you a bro anymore
watch out i might contain hostility
you say u know but you don't know me
i guess i'm used to it
people that i know always abusing it

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

so long, won’t accept my defeat
i know i’m running out of time
but i can’t even breathe

lost cause, threw me into the sea
it’s not what i wanted to be
they prayed i drowned in the deep

but i’m holding on
there’s so much left inside of my head that i’m fighting for
what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

what went wrong?
cause i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars
what went wrong?
i seem to have lost myself amongst the dying stars

i'd kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me
a lot has changed so i'd do it in a heart beat
through the veins, through my skin
subtle scarring
what was left in the past
know it hardly
i had a job and i failed to kill the old me

through my veins, through my skin

SPOTIFY

heylog & i'm geist - through the veins, through my skin (jpjp)

lyrics:

Its a house party
Im here and I am sloshed
She been way too close right now
I think im in a mosh
Swear im a clit how they been rubbing the wrong way
The amount of smoke I let out after rips its Pompeii
She play games I had to hit her with the soft block
She too- I cant fuck u with a soft cock
Gimme head
Ill bless u back
Ok uh
She told me cum on top her back
And I sprayed uh

Im so Maury how I son these copy pastes
I ash on my vlone while he hang up his old navy
This power up in my cup could kill a baby
Im so deep inside this shit I promise u won’t save me
This some first take shit
On bass that’s earthquake
It feels like rapture how my whole entire room shakes
Got me sweating cause I know im not a pure soul
Still im gifted with this voice that lays ethereal
Her dad must be Phillips how she projecting
And her mom must be fedex how she hold my package
Pull up on my guys and they let that opera sing
Stay around too long I swear they’ll bring u damage

Fuck me and bite me and slap me and maim me and scar me and shape me and teach me the ways of the background U gave me I learned it and suffered the beatings and upsets
I am nothing but an object to you

Its a house party
Im here and I am sloshed
She been way too close right now
I think im in a mosh
Swear im a clit how they been rubbing the wrong way
The amount of smoke I let out after rips its Pompeii
She play games I had to hit her with the soft block
She too-  I cant fuck u with a soft cock
Gimme head
Ill bless u back
Ok uh
She told me cum on top her back
And I sprayed uh

house Party  (eric Godlow)

lyrics:

If I lay this bitch I know the amermath
She said blow it my mouth and I will digest
Crazy bitches coming over shit get frightening 
I swear im sober baby its just the lighting
Really im high as fuck I pray I packed the vizine
Im so high im like a ufo sighting
I lay that bitch on top my table like a project board
U hate me well get in line Its tickets at the door
Course im fitted up what u think making money for
Prada on my jeans and my halo christian Dior

Grrrr
Grrrr bow
From my doggies car
U just lucky that that comment couldn’t hit my heart
General admission carts
Off this Julio
I press upon my counterpart

Texts on my phone
That I sent go green
I paint these white bitches up with my sunscreen uh huh
Obviously we didn’t work
But every time I glow up she go fucking berserk

Welcome to the church
U’ll be ripped apart neck down
Up until the purge I aint see us being shut down
Once she’s giving birth
We will eat em
In the name of the purge
Purge purge

The Church : Purgepurgepurge (scottysplash)

lyrics:

Bad bitch 
Public say she average
I like them avant garde
I might give her my package
I know u dont care about me
So why do u micro manage
If we settled down that shit would be abandoned
She said pay for tummy tucks
First I need my dick sucked
I know u been broken in
So I keep some condoms
I dont need a newer bitch
They gone internet talk
Its the usual
I just need a quick fuck then I keep it cordial

My boy I think u shitting cause that sound to me like shit talk
We point 38’s at him like we just made him plank walk
We had gave him 7 like its Ronaldo
Im taking supplements right now I feel like Johnny bravo
Heavy rain
I spray my web on her she Mary Jane
All in vain
I wake up to voided stomach pains
Im still the same
I just got accustomed to the drank
To the juice
She hit me high 
Im like who are you

Bad bitch 
Public say she average
I like them avant garde
I might give her my package
I know u dont care about me
So why do u micro manage
If we settled down that shit would be abandoned
She said pay for tummy tucks
First I need my dick sucked
I know u been broken in
So I keep some condoms
I dont need a newer bitch
They gone internet talk
Its the usual
I just need a quick fuck then I keep it cordial

Wraith talk
I Faith walk
Im a demon in this flesh but still I day walk
When my minds frozen over
I just kill something
I take pride in all these bodies I done picked off
Pew pew pew
I used the green dot
I spit regrets while this beat knocks
I have sympathy for lives lost
Still I eat on ones that just dropped
I did u dirty from ur grave spot
iPicked u cleaned and then I dipped off
I pour this four up now im Chris bosh
Blood on my face she told me oh my gosh

Credit Cardfraud (eric Godlow X Scottysplash)

lyrics:

Burn me to bits and I will cauterize it somehow
It was just a friend until myself had found out
I cant look at you the way I seen you act just now
I swear to god ill blow this bitch apart right now right now right now
I swear id kill u both if I could but I cant
I drop out the knife I held inside my right hand
Im not tryna weep when they bring me on the stand
She Pick apart
The skin on my chest and clutch my beating heart
I was warned
Still I toss aside that rocky start
We had had
When we had met
Now u fucking on anyone else that rap
U just a fan
Oh u break me
I think I Took too much
But I lay down and I sweat it out
Coming clutch
At this function my guy smoked me out
Double dutch
U so crazy how u jump around
Say u hate me then u telling me we’ll work it out
All this did was put me under
6 feet of this dirt im buried breathing
But im tied to her
I tried to break this bond but it didn’t work
but Still I hope u been well
I dont need to hear it go and give em hell
Sometimes these words are hard to keep to myself
Once I sip my drink
Maybe we could talk it out

The Shift (eric Godlow)

produced by sleepwater leftquiet and heylog
w @heylog

im losing faith and abilities
i wish i was brave im never at ease
what did you say to me
nothing was made for me
nothing went the way of the willow
ill sit right here and wait by my window

picking leaves for you to see
i hate these trees when i cant breathe
im sick of me i said too much
i hate myself not scared to crush
im not scared to crush
i hate myself
not fair no touch
i did this to myself

come destroy me now i rlly wanna know
i locked inside your arms
i hate the way it goes
im locked inside a farm 
while u remove his coat
ive never had the time 
to let anyone close

heylog:
just a log and a tree standing open in fields
rough times for a being if u don't know how to heal
kill me lover, push below the ground
oh i can't stand it here, not even an ounce
oh you
oh my
come back
to my side
i dont know myself
dont go ill stay and get help

no i dont miss you
hate what u done to me
say that your in love me
200 hundred days
where i would see you
i made a mistake
now i cant see you

fields w/heylog

original song 
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2MI1WHc6RI
u make me look stupid

lyrics:
i think were fallin outta love
i dont know who i could trust
i said i got issues
i swear to god this aint my luck
i fail at being honest
this was never my intention
im always lying to my parents
i dont know how i keep doing this

i dont know how i keep doing this
u pretend ur clueless
i try to make u laugh
but baby u make me look stupid
i failed you at being honest
im surprised u didnt notice
atleast i tried to make u smile
but instead i just looked stupid

i hate how u always look at me
but it was nothing new to me
im too distracted by ur eyes
while u continue to keep breaking me
i think that we were fiction
u kept me suffocated
i know u never listened
im crying while im twitchin
your 'tude needs some fixin
thats not even a question
u got me second guessin
now im overthinkin

i tried to make u laugh
i tried to make it right
i tried to get a smile
but instead i make u cry
we'll feel nothing like the start
u just slipped out from my arms
i could never let u go
when i still have ur heart

i know i did u wrong i guess thats what i deserve
i hate to see u gone and the thought just makes it worse
u made it in another song i doubt youll even care
i know that this dont matter so i doubt youll even hear
i know i did u wrong and i know i killed us off
i know its all my fault but i made u another song
i doubt youll even care and i doubt youll even hear
i cut off all my hair just so u could stop and stare

i dont know how i keep doing this
u pretend ur clueless
i try to make u laugh
but baby u make me look stupid
i failed you at being honest
im surprised u didnt notice
atleast i tried to make u smile
but instead i just looked stupid

heylog - u make me look stupid

produced by: @tnvr555
vocals and lyrics by: me and @heylog

lyrics:
just a sec, i needa bit to catch my breath
i try to hold onto what's left
but it seems that you're leaving again
and i saw your face
you're laughing at the back of the room
you're with someone and i can assume that
you have moved on, so soon
(you have moved on, so soon)

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think i've fallen in too deep

summer's coming round the corner, i can't wait to be warm
the uv's high so we lay some blankets out on the porch
and do you remember what you said to me
our past is something hard to believe
don't go
cause i don't want anybody else
oh no
i really don't want anybody now
i'm edging toward the ground
but that's what happens all the time as soon as life goes on
to you i'm not important
and i hope i'm wrong
without you it's harder to breathe
cause you're not laying next to me

and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
(not laying next to me)
and this jealousy consumes at my mind
i can't believe that you're not mine
it gets harder to breathe, when you're not laying next to me
i think I've fallen in too deep

hope every1 has a good day/night xx

jealousy w/ heylog (tnvr)

𝙞 𝙜𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙙 𝙢𝙮 𝙩𝙚𝙚𝙩𝙝 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙩 𝙣𝙤𝙬
prod. kais
shoutout to https://soundcloud.com/lilskeleskrrt & https://soundcloud.com/heylog for getting on this with me <3

lyrics:
(kais)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

(skele)
ooooo
there’s nobody here 
anymore 
look around
oh i wanted 
to feel 
you breaking down 
grab my throat 
need to feel something 
blood soaked house 
it won’t let me leave
scars won’t show 
but i feel them bleed 
n if i don’t choke 
would you be proud of 
me 
of me

(heylog)
don't look back at me
forget everything
hearing high-pitched rings
hanging by a string
I look up
what have I become?
oh god, you tell me to run
rooftops hidden by the snow
every limb appears white
and your body sits and glows
it glows

(kais, skele, & heylog)
don't look back at that house
I grind my teeth when I think of it now.
took all I had to make you proud
now all I see is your face as I'm bound.

bound

spotify

bound w/skele & heylog

lina - heylog (transparent)

algebraic w/ d3ad girl + jaa [d3ad girl + etai s0]

produced by heylog

lyrics:
karma is a bitch and now im upset
put me in a freezer gotta reset
i dont like this time that im living in
pull me out when i say ill never be giving in
karma is a twat and now im tweakin
she in love but i dont even feel it
pull me out my grave i dont care that ur here bitch
im on the road to healing i dont need you to hurt it

now i ghosted, wait thats normal for me
i change the setting cause its gobbling me
i turn off my notifs, no ones bothering me
i muted his feed, shits so annoying
she keep an eye on me like im up to something
but im not girl its still the same old me
i got my body on the floor i promise im not crying
im like waterpark tears just keep on running
theres this bitch called karma u familar with her?
shes like a greenhouse gas chemicals in the earth
dont know why she picks on me she said its what i deserve
i eat my body weight in almond butter n chocolate dessert
𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘵
oh girl i could come and kill u nice and easy
but i dont wanna waste my time on dumb history
used to look back and cry but now I'm laughing
im a monster with my words i can never help it

please quit reaching out what part of you think its okay?
i only need myself and love so aint that what you said
ik ur prolly back is it the time that u meet death
oh my god whats gotten into me this shits spinning my head
she dont fit in the aesthetic more like in the piece of shit
karma will come for me if i keep talking all this shit
cause right now i promise you that i dont give a shit
but in the future i know that ill be like, oh shit..

karma is a bitch and now im upset
put me in a freezer gotta reset
i dont like this time that im living in
pull me out when i say ill never be giving in
karma is a twat and now im tweakin
she in love but i dont even feel it
pull me out my grave i dont care that ur here bitch
im on the road to healing i dont need you to hurt it

i couldnt provide ur shelter
i dont think u remember
how was ur first lover?
but hey its whatever

oh baby i could come and kill u nice and easy
but thatd be a lil rude and kinda petty
i boss for a bit then target defense
shes like a garden full roses and a barbed wire fence
id never see it coming she keep it a secret
personality is 2 kinda like a catfish
ur the last person id choose to be my friend
i know im not the only one that thinks ur a bitch

hey, it's whatever

featuring @sewerperson
produced by heylog

lyrics:
(heylog)
killing all the memories cant get them out my head
do u think you'll remember me what a great way to end
now she's giving me goosebumps, up and down my skin
i don't wanna hurt u, but we were getting tense
i despise u cus i really tried my best
but was there something wrong with anything i did
this fire burns
it's burning out my chest
my hairs developing curls
she run it with her nails

i left her a note but i kept it secret in my head
guess you'll never know what i had wrote or what i said
let me clear the air i don't consider you a friend
oh how we were toxic it was to our benefit
if u truly love her go and say it to her face
but he never will he only spoke it thru the pain
his scars present a symbol she will carry with attain
and she looks at him with disgust and hatred and with vain
she let him slip by but who's the one that holds the blame
she dont care cus she got guys who provide all the needs she craves
cus he could never satisfy her so he solved it on a blade
she acted like she cared but it was nothing but a fake

i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
so i don't know how to act right i guess
and u should prolly leave don't want a witness
calling down to the 2 friends i have
but they ain't never here i crave ur love bad
SO I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACT RIGHT I GUESS
AND SHE'S MINDLESS TALKING BACK WITH HER EX
BUT HE NEVER LOVED HER, ONLY LOVED THE SEX
I GIVE UP I'M SO DONE WITH THIS

(sewerperson)
thru the wind i smell the blood
it tastes to me like broken heart
i know i feel though my body cold
and hungry reaching out for more
peaceful i could sleep peaceful finally
breaks in the trees in my bed pines needle my heart
im still deep in the rows all despite the fresh start and its killing me
im just not myself for the time being
promise u baby i’ve changed i swear
bodies in the garden behind my stairs
i just woke up with em laying right there
crush crush crush all these bugs in my hair
guess i came back from the dead for a moment
i cannot speak with my mouth sewn shut
broke open
welcome to the end you’ve chosen

kill all the memories can’t get them out my head
do u think you’ll remember me what a great way to end
even if I was what they said 
would you still love me then

ny2la w/ kennedyxoxo (jolst x remghost)

noah thomas

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