https://youtu.be/QLDzt7HrEWk?si=LTq6TLPv2XZsULsN


Ya 
I don't think youre ready for this 
It's gonna be a feast 
I got criminal energy in my veins that needs to be released 
I'm only pleased If every last one of you ceases to exist 
Everyone of you will die and won't be missed 

Listen here I'm back 
And I'm swagging on you bitches 
Im really back 
And don't got time for all your bullshit

Otherwise its normal business 
I be stacking bricks over each other 
Sticking my dick in your mother 

And don't be surprised 
If I am at the top in a year 
Breaking records in astonishing speed 
And making my enemies fear 

Stacking my bread Al Capone style 
I'm breaking necks if any of you ever came too close 
But for real I don't fuck like that anymore 
Cause nobody even tries to approach me without 
Making it known 
That I am better than them and to show 
Me that they mean it they don't come to close 


Theres no use for the 45 but I still keep it handy 
I live peaceful life now, haven't killed someone in ages 
Maybe that's how lifes supposed to be 
But sometimes I still see see myself wanting someone to bleed

thats how it be 
And I'm pretty fine with that 
Maybe some therapy 
But I don't think that they are ready for that 
And also I don't give a fuck 
Cause what happens happens if I kill again 
They probably sucked

Back to me and to the actions I'm partaking in 
Yesterday I cooked some rice with meat and then I wrapped it in 
Shit tasted immaculate imma do that again
And please don't cry If I will leave you for a man 





$KETCHY (prod. prodfakez)


https://on.soundcloud.com/CaEZg

no water on my wrist
flow like water on this shit
popping bubble raps
pop a lotta caps
while i run yo bitch
the best of you is me a century ago you get
trashier with time my rhymes just get better with it

sometimes you lose your inspiration i use that as motivation
i am patient waiting for my shit take away to space and claiming
the first human defacation to be seen by aliens
I am a bad liar i dont strive for such, no aspiration

no consultation 
to when i cook, they dip
they cant handle the fire, 
They can't handle this shit 

Spend a day in my shoes 
And see how you fit 
Truth is 
No one really knows what it is 

Like to be the other 
Id like to think that no one really bothers 
Even tho I do at times 
In the end it's really nothing 
Im not bluffing no one really cares about what you do 

In the end 
In the end it doesn't matter or does it 



Swag!

https://youtu.be/p8GSnvIZsEs?si=xhkfK930nFwg7dNr

Walking around the city 
Futures iffy feet are itchy 
I'm barely here dissociation got me feeling dizzy 
The picture that giving off is of a busy 
Man who is confused and wants to find the truth but is it really 

What do I know I'm just a silly image 
Of a human I don't know what I'm doing what my next move is ? 
Shit I really don't know, I'm just drifting along 
I'm just pissing on what's logical and you should follow

Yeah bitch I'm a top 
I'm about to get my pennies up
Theres no money in my sleeping pod
No money in my bank account  
But what bitch
I Never gave a fuck
I got a gun on hand I ain't  afraid to use it so you better run 


I invest in myself and some bitches 
Give me money and i might just put you off the hitlist
People passing by I look in their eyes and I see their life 
I ain't tripping they don't know what half the time 

Just like me bitch 
I'm just drifting along 
I'm just drifting along 

Ten foolongs please 
Subway got me wet for real 
Don't know what put in their shit 
But it is pleasing me 

Imma stack until I get building license see 
I don't fuck around with people that look kinda weird to me 
Cause you never know whats under the surface 
Never know how others feel 
Never know how they treat you 
When you get close you will see 

That's why I don't trust another bitch in here for real 
First you gotta prove you ain't a waste of time for me 

Wasted time I tell you many stories about that 
Many years I wasted in this life without a option to go back 
But it just is what it is 
Fuck it we live 
Fuck it we ball 
Fuck it let's get lit 







Chilling fr (prod. inure)

https://youtu.be/JJux4K4RX3U?si=eYezLGBRm7vbvqwt

You're a fucking thief 
I can never get it back 
You're a fucking thief
  you should really be ashamed 

Cause of you 
18 years are just gone why don't you 
Feel remorse for the actions you've done you can't do 
Anything that could make me come back to you 
I throw up everytime I see you 

I hate you 
For everything you've taken from me 
In medieval times theyd cut your fingers of but in your case 
It might be best if we do the whole arm 
So you can never harm 
anyone again I bet I will feel great if you are dead 

I'm balling my fist yeah 
I'm pondering if I 
Deserve to feel alive 
And all because you didn't have the heart to raise me right 

I don't mind if my whole family will hate me 
But I don't think I had a family to begin with 

Cause who treats their son like that 
You should be ashamed 
I wish I could do more than to beangry but I guess 
The right treatment is to never let you in again 
You will stay out my life forever 
I won't have regret in this endeavor 

I am breaking plates 
I have no breaks 
You broke me long ago 
I can't forgive you that you even try say that word will make me puke 

I hate you so much it makes me dizzy 
Youve tried to take everything from me just so that I will make you happy 
Newsflash it doesn't fucking work like that 
At least not with me that you even tried 
My mind can't comprehend 


You better be grateful that I don't tell the whole world about it 
I only do that for my brother don't you ever touch him 





YOURE THE THIEF (prod. sapjer)


https://youtu.be/q-1hBTurmCo?si=ymb1Gbs7fyOpbV5W
Ay 
Curled up in my bed waiting for my death 
Slowly it will happen but at last 
It is inevitable 
Ain't no way out of this one 
I accepted it 
I don't feel real anymore I don't gotta test it 

My experience of life is a tough one 
At times it doesn't feel real god damn I feel so lost I don't 
Have any hope left 
I'm waiting for my death 
Just waiting for someone to take it

I'm burning bridges 
I'm burning pictures of my past 
I don't know why Im the way I am 

Don't know why I react instead of act 
My whole life is an act 
I didn't stay intact 

My life is just Display 
Of power over someone else 
How much can a person control if there is nothing there 

Externally controlled 
By a person that chose 
Their own goals 
Over raising someone that wouldn't be cold 

But in midst of the thorns 
That cover the ground 
Something is emerging 
Fragile but strong 

It seems unimportant and really torn 
In between if it wants to chase after life or go 
in the afterlife 

A light Someday barely hits the ground but it is enough for it to know 
That it isn't alone
Even if it feels like it at times 
You are never by yourself 
You will always will stay by your own side 

My experience of life is a tough one 
At times it doesn't feel real god damn I feel so lost I don't 
Have any hope left 
I'm waiting for my death 
Just waiting for someone to take it

Im so fucking tired 
It feels like my lifetime is expired 
I don't try to savor anything I'm just trying to quiet 
The warzone that's raving in my head 
I don't care anymore I will just stay in my bed 




my experience (prod. composition x)

On this day I ascended
This ain't a message 
But in essence 
I am blessing 
You with my voice on this beat it sounds like heaven 
When I'm spitting on this track I don't give lessons
I'm the best and I'm just testing 

Going up until I hit the sun 
Blood soaked up into the ground 
With the hope 
that one day something will sprout

I don't know where I'm going 
But I know I have direction 
Even if I don't see clearly 
I have my reflection 

I'm besting the pain that's inside of me 
I've been through parts of this live some have never been 
And never will so don't expect to get it when I'm blessing you with greatness 
You don't know what it means to be crashing 

And stressing every second of your damn life 
My body is in flee or fight every night 
And I am just expected to keep going and Im trying 
And I will succeed cause that is who I am 
Losing Isnt in my DNA 

Sun beams emitting from my being 
Without reasoning I'm still believing 
As long as my heart is beating that I'm still alive 
I'm not ride or die I will ride and will die 
I lost hope long ago but something inside is still fighting on my side 

Lighting fires 
Getting up being tired 







 



lighting fires (Radiohead instrumental)

https://youtu.be/QYFAfBoxEU8?si=mA6CClr2z0dqwN30

Trying to turn back 
But just not right here 
Making a turn left but it isn't right leave 
Me alone I try to tell everyone 
Who gets close to me 
I don't see why you wouldn't just hurt me 

Rest in pieces my child 
No one ever was there to shield you, they rather beat you up till you cried
You did so easily with your might 

Cause you just didn't have any remorse or empathy 
Now I am left dealing with my death now I see 
Your words are empty 
frankly I couldn't but envy how others weren't left alone 

Yeah alone, that's all I am that's where I was 
This child died alone, in no one's arms 
Malnutrition of love
On top of that emotional harm  
This death was everything except calm 


Saving the worst for me 
You are like that 
Seeing me hurt I see 
You enjoy that
I don't know how could say you love me
if you actions only cause hurt to me


Trying to turn back 
But just not right here 
Making a turn left but it isn't right leave 
Me alone I try to tell everyone 
Who gets close to me 
I don't see why you wouldn't just hurt me 

I don't see why you wouldn't just hurt me 
Lost every bit of myself through people 
That didn't care I was only a child 

I tried to hide to preserve anything I had left 
But got catched everytime I tried to get some of that 
Love that I was desperate for to try to survive 
But it's too late I can never go back 

It's gone forever 
The child is dead 
The time is over 
I can't get it back 

It's gone forever 
The child is dead 
The search is over 
There's nothing to get 

Saving the worst for me 
You are like that 
Seeing me hurt I see 
You enjoy that
I don't know how could say you love me
if you actions only cause hurt to me

Trying to turn back 
But just not right here 
Making a turn left but it isn't right leave 
Me alone I try to tell everyone 
Who gets close to me 
I don't see why you wouldn't just hurt me 

Lies my whole life 
You said you love me but leave me behind 
All alone while cry no one was by my side 
You lied and you lied 
You stole my whole life 
And you still ignore that I tried 





trying to turn back (prod. grayskies)

https://youtu.be/wfM3Oxqdvmc?si=LoeHE3ExnKGFk3u7

Wasting my potential 
Cause I'm Stuck up in my mental 
Feel the metal in my mouth 
I'm sure there no other way out 

See the years passing by 
See people see their lives 
Look at myself 
And see Im dont experience my life 

Time is passing by 
While I can't even cry 
About the shit I stood by 
while I was a little child 

Feeling like I don't try 
Biding my time 
Fighting like that could bribe 
Time to be on my side 

Can't relate to 
to others and what they say to me 
Asking me questions like whats your favourite thing 
To do in your freetime Ima be real like 
I don't have hobbies I just try to survive man 

And I don't know like 
If that is normal but who am I 
I just know that I feel alone and 
Feel like a stray 

I'm not open is what they say 
Just cause I don't share a detail 
Of anything I feel like I've been away 

My whole life 
I missed out on everything that others didn't 
Never had a thing I did just cause I felt like it
What's the point of writing a story 
If it doesn't have a beginning 
What's the point of trying 
If I know that I'll be never winning 

As an outsider I enjoy watching their lives 
In my own one I don't feel alive 
Somedays can't get up and I don't try 
What does it matter I the end we all die 

Sitting in my bed a night 
Fearing for my life 
I don't cry I just try to somehow pass the time 

I don't wanna get up when I have to 
I don't wanna eat food 
I don't wanna face reality it is too hurtful 

I'm just tired I feel like nothing matters 
It don't care If I would die tomorrow what is there care for 
What is there to yearn for 
Who is there to turn to 
never had a parent I could turn to 

Lived in fear my whole life 
Never got to be a child 
Never got to be a person on my own I always lied 
Just to be liked it never worked but I tried I just wanted to be loved but the time for that has gone by 

Time for that has gone by 
And I can never get it back 
The time for that has gone by 
I will never be intact 







depression (prod. RICOWORLD)

https://youtu.be/Im_-lEyId2E?si=ad-_k0FBKuxaF53j

Too tired to open my eyes 
Im afraid I'll lose my mind yeah 
Reality is breaking me down 
All the noises don't drown out the pain I have known 

For my whole life 
Im gonna make a statement 
That I'm alive will be an inspiration 
The problem is creating shit won't make me any better 
I am clueless I hope something changes for the better 

it's a hopeless endeavour 
I seek for what is tethered 
to my past I'm exhausted 
I don't wanna offend her 

but at last thats what keeps me from being human 
You can't just cut out the noise and keep moving 

I'm so fucking exhausted 
I barely hold my eyes open 
Im waiting on someone to come for me 
yeah I'm hoping 

I'm hoping someone relieves all this weight of mine 
If someone told that's my next five years I'll rather die 

Too tired to open my eyes 
Im afraid I'll lose my mind yeah 
Reality is breaking me down 
All the noises don't drown out the pain I have known 

Exhaustion exhaustion
I wanna be pausing but no way
I'm calling I'm bothering others no ones gonna talk to me 


Exhausted (prod. sapjer)

https://youtu.be/P5DgIZM14vY?si=VNomfQcpIv6GLisv

Been in a hole 
No control 
No getting out now 
That I've known 

I've Been searching for the one to throw 
All my problems at problem is they don't 

Know me or even are able to be who I want them to be
Basically I tasked them to see 
Things in me no one is able to see clearly 
Except myself 

I make compromises with myself 
Pondering what I should be to make them like me 

And high-key
I'm kinda dumb 
Why do I expect from others something I just want for my own 

And at last 
I collapse 
I depart from myself 
To be cast 

A role I would like to play
Until the weight of reality 
drags me down again 

I'm practicing staying still 
I'm scared of everything especially myself 

Been in a hole 
No control 
No more getting out now 
That I've known 

I've Been searching for the one to throw 
All my problems at problem is they won't 

Been in a hole 
No control 
No more getting out now 
That I've known 

I've Been searching for the one to throw 
All my problems at problem is they won't

Be able to be who I need really 
Its unfair to them cause I expect them to meet 
What I'm seeking 
The truth is I don't want to be mad at people 
Just cause they have their own life doesn't mean they hate me 

I'm unable to keep connections 
My minds fractured I'm scared to trust others 
I'm scared they will fuck me up more 
My life taught me never to let anyone in 
Or they will destroy everything 







been in a hole (prod. plantcham)

Minecraft nostalgia (prod. blustery)

https://youtu.be/Q76qH8deZDw?si=UyA6QhARc4o46Yf2

Ya 
New beginnings 
I celebrate my life cause I am winning 
I'm chilling in the now my past ain't living 
A clean state and clean beginning 
My life is mine forever i ain't willing 

To compromise my time anymore 
I been telling a whole lot but I act it out now 
I don't back out from being myself I'm up now 
If you don't fuck with that right away you should go now 
Watch my moves closely imma show y'all 

What it looks like to be the baddest bitch on the planet 
The shit that happened before this don't got my attention 
I'm living in the now starting this second 
I ain't got shit to explain to anyone yeah you get it 

I've been through some shit most people can't even comprehend 
But that shit ain't part of the person who I am anymore 
Sure it's always gonna be there 
But it has no more right to define me I'm right here 

In the moment and I have have big plans for this life here 
No one's gonna stop me I survived and I might be 
On the way to be the best version of myself 
I won't let anyone control who I am 


New beginnings 
I celebrate my life cause I am winning 
I'm chilling in the now my past ain't living 
A clean state and clean beginning 
My life is mine forever i ain't willing

Love and courage in my heart 
I ain't afraid to walk on my path 
I don't care about the people they just ask 

The wrong things bout this life here 
I'm willing to go right there 
Where no one ever has walked before 
I'll be right there 

And I'm starting a new life this very minute 
I'm excited and really 
Can't wait to begin it 

And I'm starting a new life this very minute 
I'm excited and really 
Can't wait to begin it 


NEW BEGINNING (prod. Kingmarsh)

https://youtu.be/SJGBZX-DzWE?si=ZZGiLnikHJ3nQJqn

Ya 
I'm ascending into heaven 
I got no one that's telling me 
How to live how to properly be me 
Cause really what do know about me 

I'm ascending into heaven 
I got no one that's telling me 
How to live how to properly be me 
Cause really what do know about me

Bitch you don't know shit 
I wouldn't change for nothing 
The reflexes I learned through this live 
got me fucking 

Afraid of something that I don't even know 
I be changing like a chameleon 
And it's so fucking exhausting 
To always keep your eyes open 
Afraid of nothing
scared of the whole world talking 

Like I would never talk 
Walking like id never walk 
My past leading me the dark 

And I'm back at square one 
Just as I thought
I'd grown alot 
but not with this shit I'm done 

I just wanna be gone 
but is that really what I've become 

I ain't done 
This ain't over yet it just has begun 

I'm ascending into heaven 
I got no one that is telling 
Me how I should be 

I ain't afraid to speak my mind and what Is really me 
I'm seeing my own dreams slowly come into reality 

Shit I'm too far gone 
What can I do about that 
Not packing up but Im staying just for the sport 

This shit ain't pointless 
I'm gonna toy less 
With my life but
I'm really just annoyed at my progress

Progress ain't fast 
That is not what the word means 
I'm just throwing a huge curve ball at my work please 

Don't ask me what is taking me so long 
If you were in my position youd already be gone 







Ascending into heaven (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/jD9VPOcg6ns?si=hQgyaL_8y3-Y7aUV

Ya
Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Who tf are you to tell me what to do 
Dont you see that Im burning alive and can't move 
So true bro, "just move" it's the easiest thing ever 
If you were in my position you would kill yourself Id never 

Cause I'm different 
The only reason I survived is cause I am bigger than 
Anyone alive today 
I'm stronger I'm indifferent 
To death you would never cause you can't
That I'm still alive is a wonder in itself 

That I keep pushing is a fucking miracle 
But not for me 
I am used to breaking limits to the point beyond
belief 
I am painting the town red with the blood of my enemies 
It's a metaphor calm your shit down but better be 

Afraid cause I ain't letting it slide If you hurt me 
You will get your fair share of payback I will work it 
The days that I stayed curled up in my bed 
Gave me strength with nothing on earth to compare 

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

Everything's on fire this shit too complex 
But can I have a lighter for my cigarette 
New issues I aquire from the bullets that I fire 
I'm bursting inside and it is all too much

I'I'm burning I'm curling up working my past and what it changed I'll never be the same 
Fuck all of who still think I'm sane 
This will be over 
And I won't be tamed 

That's it you get it 
Now pack your things and get out 
I ain't begging I'm giving you a chance so just go fuck off 

I am dealing with some shit 
You will never relate to 
If you' do you're like a dog who deserves to be shot down 


Just that you know there won't be any blanks that I'm firing 
The shit that I lived through aint capable of comparing 
To anyone else 
I'm breaking my hell 
I will defeat the devil and why not God as well 

Cause who is really at fault here 
At times I thought It 
could be me and you said it should be 
But you're really just 


an ignorant piece of shit who didn't give a fuck 
You are like a cancer anything you ever touch rots 

Man shut the fuck up 
You don't deserve to be in my life 

I wish I would have never let you in but did I have a choice 
I was a child alone with your fucking mind 
I will try to warn you one last time 

This is your last chance 
Get the fuck out or it will rain fire 
My hand doesn't know any mercy 
In this hellfire 

I will be the last one standing 
I doubt that you will have any chance 











 

Everything on fire (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/Gwd6_6sr5kA?si=XG-XjCVIeW8z_pjQ

Yeah bitch I'm pissed
If there was somebody here I would throw hands 
Fuck all of you is my life model so go pray 

To your god 
Before that I'll knock your teeth out 
Know that you ain't from the same streets as me 
My cock is out 

While I start to talk 
About the stars and how I'm a god 
I wasn't born 
I fell out of the sky that's how I walk

Don't you dare to try anything on me 
I ain't strapped but my hands faster than your bullet be 

Im fucking pissed at life 
No one ever treats me how I like 
They should pray at me, fall onto their knees 
When I walk by 

Anyways it's not like I ain't a human 
But I'm just superior in every way it could be 

My game is better 
I think faster 
I'm a baller 
With these rhymes 

I ain't strapped 
But matter of fact 
Ima bag your hoe not even try 

That you even think to compare 
Me n u is a crime that I will retaliate 

Anyways let's get back me 
And how big my cock is 
Actually it's just below average 
Only when it's flacid 


I don't pass it around 
When the blunt stops at me 
Imma smoke that shit to ashes 
And that's just how it be 

Can everyone just shut the fuck up
And stop to tell me how to live my life 
Who the fuck are even you 
Stop to act like a child 


Many people in this world don't know they should mind their business 
Next time someone pisses me off they will get stitches 

Here's a pause so you can reflect on how much below me you are 


I cocked back and shot him twice just out of spite 
All the other rappers act like they white 
I'm passing the wine 
If they approached me they ain't right 

In the head but to keep it a bag 
Yeah I don't give a shit 
I'm a god dont you see how fucking lit this is

You don't get my attention if you ain't on your knees praying and begging 
I used to say this would happen 

Fuck all of you 
Fuck all of your social perceptions 
I am better than every single one of you peasants 

I see through all your bullshit 
I see all of you culprits 
then you act like you know better 
But you're just fucking stupid 

I ain't kidding when I say that I'm above everyone else 
Its just natural selection at this point 
If you don't fuck with me thats fine 
I don't fucking care 
Just don't tell anyone how youre aware 







IGNORANCE (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/QVTJweTevtw?si=-pYXer-p8pRCgHCd

Yeah yeah yeah 

Breaking my back for others 
I am done with that 
If you don't fuck with me you should go fuck off and then 
Replay your chances but to be real you have never had it 
Gladly I would pack my shit 
If youare  happy without my help 

You just yapping about shit I can't even comprehend
A god like me really don't have any time for shit like that 
I'm a bad bitch you heard me 
I'm take off into stratosphere 
If you aint ready for that don't come bother me for real 




Imma throw it all away
Don't give a fuck bout second chance
I escape the grasp of all of this fake shit 
I make amends 

I don't take shit for granted 
I have made it myself 
Dont try any shit on me 
Or you will end up de

Get up bitch gonna stack up 
Bad bitch in my bed gonna make some 
Heat 
You break fast when the beat hit 
Keep this shit low-key like an infrared 

Banging on another banger bitch I'm different 
Don't got shit to think of when I'm in the zone I'm spitting this 

Shit back again and I'm surprising myself 
24 and I'm a legend in the flesh you don't got shit to say 
People see me thinking damn he's must be a god 
I can't disagree cause really they are not that far off 




Im a god (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/M3xGGCX4HiQ?si=TCl7YlDZ6R20rje-

Everything I do just fucks it up more 
Don't know if I can blame anyone 
Cause I guess that's how I have become 
I fucking hate to exist I am done 

And I'm talking bout the same shit as months ago 
Didn't I make any progress at all 
I'm begging to fall 

I'm making my own self feel bad 
Without a real reason 
If I could just stop sabotaging and bleeding 
I may could be on a path of being 
A version of myself that actually has feelings 

But of course imma choose right against it 
Please help me 
I'm screaming 
I'm helpless 
I'm unsure how long I could take this 
I'm running around while I'm headless 

I'm pondering again 
All the voices in my head 
I'm walking down a path 
I don't know where to go I'm so done I'm so 

Lost 
I crossed myself outta the picture 
The good things in life don't outweigh all the bad stuff 
Crossed myself out 
Theres no going back 
What have I become 
X2

My chest burns
My back hurts 
I can't carry all of it alone 
But how can I trust anyone 
If at the end they will be gone 

There's beauty in live
I see it in other people 
But I assume that me and you are not equal 
Somehow Im evil 

And all of that because of events that I cannot remember 
Im burning my heart into ashes I'm handcuffed 
While I suffer from the hands of my parents 
Who didn't have any remorse I'm glad that 

I got outta there 
But now I suffer again I am not out quite yet 
I think that I still have hope 
But regardless of that I'm still gonna feel it 

I'm pondering again 
All the voices in my head 
I'm walking down a path 
I don't know where to go I'm so done I'm so 

Lost 
I crossed myself outta the picture 
The good things in life don't outweigh all the bad stuff 
Crossed myself out 
Theres no going back 
What have I become 





LOST (prod. plantcham)

https://youtu.be/5faX2xFcaJI?si=nrwhMTBS3aANAJLD

Ya 
Kinda glad that I met you 
I might have been dead at this time If you didn't show me that I can feel alive I tried to fight but 

Alone there is no fucking way I just get better 
The first time you guys just listened to me I swear I was crying 

In my bed 
Cause I just never anticipated 
That someone as fucked up as me 
Could ever not be evaded 

But now here's the fucking Situation 
I feel like im not ready for a social relation   
The tought of just leaving is making me 

Insane 
I feel like I won't ever be enough 
For other people to give a fuck about me 
I doubt that I'm worthy for people to care about me 
What do you mean I don't have to be perfect yeah  I doubt it really 

If you really would just see how ugly I m behind the curtain 
You would spit at me then leave me behind cause I'm fucking worthless 
I hate myself so much I can't expect you guys to understand
Or tolerate me cause I mean I can't myself 


I can't myself 
I'm sorry that I would say 
That you would spit at me I'm praying 

Cause really I don't think youre the type to do that 
But I'm unfamiliar with people to say they care about me 

Honestly I understand if you abandon me 
I won't be mad 
I follow your reasoning I really can 

I hate to be alone 
But being close to others 
Makes me think Im gonna die every second and I think I bother 

Everyone and everything 
I am sorry I exist 
Just as I'm saying that I realize I want to live 

Not because I think its the best for me 
The best for me would to die on the spot I would beg for it 

If I didn't wanna live out of spite 
I am willing to fight for my rights 
I told alotta lies in this song 
I dont deserve to talk about myself like this I'm done 

self hate (prod. sapjer)

I like this one

https://youtu.be/g0swThQqdNw?si=KeOB6XED-gAISsHA

Rather would be 
Someone else than to be me 
Better to be 
By myself just isolate myself 
Cause of course 
Everyone I meet outside will kill me 
And they don't see me 

I see light shining through her eyes 
Wish I wouldn't be alive sometimes 
But in the end I'll try I bide my time 
I am wasting it I'm chasing for a chance 
I feel there has to be fresh air somewhere here 

And I am fighting for what 
I am tying the knot 
Of my own hanging 
I'm banging the door 
To your god 

Begging for a chance 
And for change 
Im going insane 
I don't blame anyone but my own being 

And I'm seeing my own demons in my sleep 
No I ain't sleeping 
I keep myself locked away 
For my own reasons 

One more fuse lit 
I'm going to implode 
I am going to be gone for the good for the better 

For all the people 
Who said they wouldn't miss me 
For all the people that showed 
Im not equal to them 

I'm gonna survive out of spite nothing else that will drive me 
I have to realize there will be no one there to drive me and I'm crying 

And Im crying by myself 
And I'm crying by myself 

I don't if this is hell or real life 
But if this is life I want to die 

Sometimes I find bliss in the calm moments
It's so little but maybe It is enough to keep going 

Maybe it's enough to keep going 
I was alone my whole life 
There's a reason I am still throwing 

Hands with the fact I'm not like the others 
Hands with the fact I got baggage so much that my back is broken 

I'm playing roulette with my magnum opus 
Im about to throw it all away but I can't condone that 
Other people would then get what they always wanted 
Fuck all of them is the only thing that will keep me going 

Fuck all of them 
And that's the last thing I will say about that 
You guys don't get any more control of my life
I will be by myself but 

That's what i always was and I still survived 
I don't bide my time in this life I am glad that I stay by my side 

I stay by my side and I survived 
I hate my life but I still try 




Crying (prod. waves)

instrumental from this song: 

https://on.soundcloud.com/JFb1o

Looking outside I see the flowers grow 
Away from everything but still on the road 
I'm getting back 
But still don't know 
Where is my destination but I go 

I'm seeing light I like to stay in my illusion 
It is so bright 
I try to paint it as the solution
I have control here 
I know that it isn't the truth 
But let me stay in my own mind it really has no use 

Remind myself of my reality 
And I run 
It's just so nice in here 
I know if I would leave I would be fucked 

A prison of gold 
Is what they like to call it 
The difference is I could leave whenever I wanted 

And I ponder and I wonder 
Who I am really 
Distractions and addictions only work so long is it 
Really worth to stay in my own mind 
But also is it worth to step outside 


A pack of wine has never failed to fix a problem has it 
Im ready to hide from everything that might be dangerous 
I hear the time is ticking and I'm anxious 
What do I really have to lose anymore 

Ya 
I'm almost twenty and I'm living in my own filth 
Im slowly coming clear to what I've lost I don't fit here 
Is what I think when I am around others 
I don't have any memories that are meaningful to me and I'm smothered 

Relationship is what I yearn for 
But I have no idea on how to build a meaningful connectioni am too hurt to 
Show up in a real way 
I don't get it when others talk about the most normal shit I feel burned out 

From just surviving 
I Got no seatbelt on when I'm driving
I'm trying so hard to just relate to others but I'm lying  yeah 
I'm stressing and I'm thinking 
Maybe it's too late for me to ever find a real connection 









delousion/reality (instr. diet tea other cola)

https://youtu.be/0W5kU87UJDw?si=THy67SC8Hx87yzS6

In the trenches I been stressing I been fighting I been dying 
To know when this shit is gonna end finally and 
I am dying to know if it's ever gonna get better 
Testing out the water to see how long I can last 

I don't even feel the pain anymore 
I am white knuckling this whore that you call life 
But do I even know if its worth i really don't think so 
This life is gonna kill me in the end though 

Looking over my shoulder 
Everywhere I go 
Im not safe anywhere I'm afraid 
Everyone will know 
How pathetic I really am at the core 
I try to not give a fuck but that doesn't work anymore 

I can't get up but I'm trying 
I'm fainting from the thought to not be lying 
To myself about my life and about the circumstances
I want to escape this reality I can pretend that 

That It is a nice place to exist 
I'm not a pacifist 
Cause war is all over ever known 
Violence is a gift 
Im not helping myself either 
My actions aren't fucking healthy 


Nose is bleeding again 
bedsheet are red 
My past doesn't want to stay in my past 
My backpack stays packed wherever I am 


Im slowly wasting 
Slowly tasting death as I care 

Everything hurts I can't step up here 
I'm saying I'm fighting but I'm laying here
Technically I'm beaten but I don't care 


I hate myself so much 
Sometimes I think that I'm not even real 
I'm saying I'm fighting but I'm laying here
Technically I'm beaten but I don't care

I wouldn't even tell my worst enemy 
What I tell myself 

I shouldn't even talk that's the extens of what I have to bear 







fighting (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/Z1EsQvdrRCg?si=KxZZUVyPZn8NCwLe

Why is everyone ahead of me 
Eyes closed I can never sleep 
I burn from the heat 
I cannot see I'm disguised yeah 

Never knew what you could do to me 
No one ever says a eulogy 
About me 
Or about anything I've done 
I never speak for myself I rather run 

I run from myself 
I run from myself 
I run from myself 
I run from myself 

It's making me so mad 
To be stuck in this whole phase 
I'm banging my head  
Not taking my meds 

It's making me so mad 
I'm ordering some help 
Why is it so bad 
To be on your own 


To be on your own 
I'm taking my phone 
I told you no one 
Seems to care 

Im always alone 
You should have just told me
I'm not fit for relationships 

I'm growing old on my own 
I don't know whats coming and I won't 
Pretend I am fun to be around 
When its something I'm not 

When its something that I'm not 
Don't you get I'm not strong I am fucked 
Unannounced I try to come 
Into other life without any luck 

And I put pressure on myself 
If I'm not perfect I don't deserve anything
And I press play never rewind 
That is my past and I want to be done with it 

I run from myself 
I run from myself 
I run from myself 
I run from myself 

It's making me so mad 
To be stuck in this whole phase 
I'm banging my head  
Not taking my meds 

It's making me so mad 
I'm ordering some help 
Why is it so bad 
To be on your own 

stuck (prod. waves)

https://youtu.be/ueSp_LJAC7U?si=pV8J_yYClXFFmSC-

Digging my grave up 
Furthermore 
I'm searching through bones I thought were lost
Before 

I'm looking at them and can't comprehend 
What happened to me 
I thought it was a dream 

I thought the screams 
And experiences I had 
Weren't real I thought I was to hate 

I thought I was reasoned to blame 
Now I see the remains of myself 

I can't run from it 
When I have evidence right in front
I'm gonna be blunt 
I hate it 

fucking impaled 
That's what i was 
I claimed to be clear in my head when I wasn't 

I remain 
Hopeless after I realize what happened 
I'm in pain 
The gates have opened there's nothing to hold it back 

I ain't afraid but my fear is potent 
Tame is not how my emotions 
Behave I held them back long enough 
It's coming back all at once 

I take what Ive held for granted 
I toss it away to see what will happen 
Im tracking back cause I feel like Ive lost my way and I can't get it back 

Digging my grave up 
Furthermore 
I'm searching through bones I thought were lost
Before 

I'm looking at them and can't comprehend 
What happened to me 
I thought it was a dream 

I thought the screams 
And experiences I had 
Weren't real I thought I was to hate 

I thought I was reasoned to blame 
Now I see the remains of myself 


I see the remains 
I'm not really surprised 
I feel like the lies 
Have stopped and said goodbye 

Es ist vorbei 


grave (prod. waves)

https://youtu.be/I49jPv1-R9M?si=23Ycijf7CNn05hDm

Ya finding myself ain't an obstacle 
Is just hard keeping who I am 
together and when I'm breaking my back 
for other people cause they seem to like that 

Fight back is what I tell myself everyday 
Normally I don't get up but slowly I am 
Questioning why it's so hard for me to live like an average person 
Im becoming myself 

I'm not swimming but I'm drowning everytime I see land 
I'm destroying everything that I helped build up and then 
I make other people responsible for how I'm am
I'm have  no right to complain but I am 

My past is creeping up on me and I don't fucking like that
I'd say I even hate cause thats not the person I am 
I wish I wouldnt have to be associated with them 
I just want the control of my life back 

Actually fuck all of this I have a right to complain 
I was a child and that's the last god damn thing I will say 
To that fuck all of you you ain't part of me 
If you ain't good for me just fuck off right now 

Everytime I build myself up you just tear me down 
Not this time though cause you will never harm me again 
You ain't sane 
And you never were 
You have no power over me and I laugh 

In your face 
Cause I know what is best for me 
Ain't no money in the world is worth the stress of being 
In your vicinity 
I wish you no I'll will 
Just never talk to me again 

Free will is all I've got but maybe 
I don't have to suffer over nothing don't save me 
I have my right to be who I desire 
Ill kill the old me right now 

Black hole where I'm climbing out back 
Off with your accusations don't you get 
I have my own life own Rights no regrets 
My life I will slowly get it back 


Burning up my old place 
No time to waste 
I save myself from accusations of my past 

Imma pass on 
Anything I see that could turn bad 
I won't ignore the signs but sometimes it is worth it 

I don't back down 
That is not in my DNA 
I'll make it known you survive even the thoughwst shit 

Imma take my crown back up 
Where it belongs 
Anyone that touches it from now 
Will be gone 


Now I'm done this shit don't bother me anymore 
I've ran my whole life now it is time to get comfortable 
Don't get me wrong I still gag when I think about you 
The difference is I won't ever have to meet you 

And I really hate you 
That is all I'll say 
I got only me 
there is no time to waste 

Lights bright where I look 
No fights in my book 
I know what want and I'll get it just look 






free will  (prod. composition x)

https://youtu.be/gTlEaXB5-pw?si=-RqA6E1SPN6t_FiF

I would move the world for you 
You don't even know that yet maybe you'll never do 
I would go to hell for you 
If you would end up there I would follow you

You are precious I hope you will never change 
Im willing to go all in 
if that means we have a chance 
Maybe you'll never hear this but I am 

Sure that I will fight for whatever we got 
I know that it isn't much 
I think were both kinda scared 
Maybe Im just tripping and you don't care 
But I surely do

And I want that we do stuff together 
I really enjoy those times 
I don't even care what we do 
You are lighting my day up everytime I realize that you really exist 


You don't need to do shit 
To make me your greatest supporter 
You dont need to do shit 
You're perfect the way you exist 

Damn 
This got me blushing and shit 
Here let me list off everything that I think is good about you 
This will go on forever I warned you 

I love that you care so much
And try so hard I really admire you 
I love that you work for what you want to have 
I love that you're so persistent 

And I'm not gonna lie 
You hypnotized me with your hips right away 
In the end Im a man what can I say 
You are beauty in the definition 

When I look in your eyes 
I see a fire that lights everytime you speak 
I see such beauty I can't speak I try to find words for it but its not like any of these 

I love that you exist 
There's so much more I could say 
But this world don't has the words for it 
What can I really say

HER (prod. sapjer)

2nd part could've been much better but it's a demo so I don't care 
https://youtu.be/x_mJ7hJoEvA?si=whZEnYDVFYrK6KXV

Fucking ashamed 
I am of you, never have you
Been anything good 
For me I hate you id be glad to 

To leave you behind forever 
I would be relieved if you just never came back

And I've been 
I've been fighting
I'm fighting you forever 

I've taken a stance it's against all you represent for 
And I dont take these things back 
I won't make that mistake again 
I don't think that we ever will be friends yo 

I'm tired of chasing 
A thing that I won't get 
I am tired of listening to the voice in my head 

Breaking my own neck so I won't have to live with you cause you do nothing but to hurt 

I feel like I am breaking 
I feel my heart aching 
I feel my body fighting me is this really the answer 

Banging out my eardrums so I can never hear you
again 
I'm afraid 
If I kill you 
That I kill myself 

What are you saying 
I am part you 
I will not go away 
All the words you hear me saying are just true and you're afraid 

I ain't the bad guy
Cause you just attack me 
without any 
Rational thought yea

I'm sick of you 
Every word you say is untrue 
Twisting my thoughts 
without a care 
If I should be lied to 

I'm disgusted 
I dont wanna hear you anymore 
If you would shut up forever I'd be glad to 

Think about this now I made you 
You don't and you're wrong 
You suck and you know 
I know and I don't give a fuck 

You don't deserve to live
I do I think I think I do 
But you don't know for sure cause I'm right 
No you are fucking not 

If I wasn't there 
Yeah what would fucking happen 
You don't wanna find out 
I do let's make it happen 
If I wasn't there you would have no one to keep you in reality I am what you need now 

Cut your fucking bullshit 
I am done with playing games 
In reality you are the one who's making me insane 
You sound like a bitch let's get back to how it always was 
I would rather die than give you space in my life 

Come on now 
you don't want 
this is bad 
Oh is it 
Yeah it is 
You will die
 
Oh will I 
I don't care 
Just think 
I know you are not stupid 
I know as well that's the reason that I fight you 

And will forever 
Cause I don't accept these lies in my head 
All you are is a parasite that needs to be cleansed 
If I die in the process it is worth it 
Cause this is no standard of living 


torn in between

https://youtu.be/1fvvY1FMBLI?si=FfyUfM-pmbeWsCIs


Yeah I've been 

I've been rotting in my bed ain't got shit to do 
I've been pondering what do I really have to life for 
Im talking to my demons in my sleep 
I am isolating I have no one that I can see 

I don't see the solution to this 
I mean I kinda do 
But I am too much of a bitch to follow through 

I am stuck 
In this world 
Stuck in this shit 
I am stuck and Im cursed 

It's only me that's how its been 
and how it will be 
I believe 
That I don't really am supposed to be 
To be who I wanna be
These thoughts are screaming at me please follow me


Stress keep calling I'm drowning
It's way too much I don't doubt that
One day I gonna break down  
surprised It hasn't happened by now 

No one calling I'm waiting 
Waiting for you to save me 
Im am stalling while I'm breaking 
Into little parts I don't see that helping 

I don't bring much to the table 
I don't have much to be grateful for 
I don't think I'm worth any more than what i offer to you and I hate it though 

Feel blades in my chest 
I think I'm the best 
While at same time 
That I'm worthless 

it's only me.

inspired by my friends :) 

beat: https://youtu.be/ZIripYV9bQI?si=OHbUBkMa3iejhtUm

When its quiet and its peace
And the sorrow and the grief 
are blown away 
I see flowers I'm not bothered I am free 

Flowers blooming it is spring wherever I be 
The good things in life are worth it however bad it may be 

I get my peace piece by peace 
I haven't lost myself  and I believe 
This doesn't have an impact on who I am supposed to be 

Cause I am who I am 
There is nothing that could change that fact 
I choose to live like I want 
I choose to see myself as whole 

 
I choose to be kind 
I choose to not be blind 
I have a solid base within myself 
I love myself and I supply 
The love I always needed 
It's no use to further be deprived 
I feel alive and I swear to protect me at all times 

I've been through enough to not choose the best for my life 
I am doing enough 
I don't need to rush every time 
I try to say 

I hear birds chirping 
Life is flourishing around me 
I will choose out of love for myself 


The good things in life

no lyrics 
also I fucked up the recording 
beat: 
https://youtu.be/I9VA7z59Xns?si=5nNoFZjVUsMkhfcd

quality freestyle

this one is sad. voice is supposed to be quiet.
https://on.soundcloud.com/1qpj5

https://pin.it/1NUXjprtG



Yaya

Running out of time 
Crying when you die 
It is in my mind 
I won't be surprised 

I wasn't surprised when you left me behind 
I wanna be mad but I can't cause I am blind 

I am blinded by love 
Was I blinded by trauma or from who you are 
I don't know 
Now I'll never know 
 
You made your choice
 I respect it and I'll go

 You made your choice
 I respect it and I'll go

First I was shocked and I denied my emotions
I didn't want to believe you never wanted me 
But now reality is here 
I thought we had something but you really made it clear 

From the start 
I just didn't see it 
I was so appalled 

I just thought 
You were made for me 
And didn't see my scars 

But I guess I was wrong 
And i felt something 
That you just don't want 

I was wrong 
And i felt something 
That you just don't want 

Its a sad story 
And it hurts to think about
I know there was nothing serious
But my feelings don't agree with this 

Best I can do is 
forget about this and
to move on with my shit 




gone

Sketchys back in this shit 
Te bagging your bitch 
I know you thought I was dead but I'm lit 
Im slicing your head clean off with my tip 
Oh you already running I guess that's it 


Suck my dick and you know it 
Watch out before I hit you with something 
I'm better you know it 
Ive been doing much more than you ever could ever be talking 
Shut yo ass up I'm serious you know it 

You know it 
And you still talk shit 
Little bitch 
Let me hit you with some shit you won't forget 

Imma steal you bitch 
Then I shit on what you think 
Is a masterpiece 
But I'm just dissing cause Im lit 

Ay I'm lit and you know it 
Take a hint you're not wanted 
Try to recreate my shit and give up cause I'm different 
Im sicker than 
9/11 isn't that a reference 
I ain't gonna say nothing to that 

Rappers panicking 
Cause sketchys still alive 
Imma eat your friends 
Kidnap your hoe for a while 

In my manic phase again 
And I am coming better hide
Better run cause I'mma run over you with a fucking Bike 


I don't know 
I don't know what you want but if you still talk shit better dip 


Hundred fucking bands just from robbing citizens 
In a sense I'm different 
I'm listening to rap 
And I'm pondering if I should be killing myself 
Cause it's all so fucking trash I'm pissing that 

I'm pissing what you creating 
I'm even pissing on what you be hating 
I'm fucking pissed and I will kill whoever stands in my way ay 

I'm packed and sick of alla what you be faking 
What I can do with my left nut yeah im hating 

I am hating on your shit 
I am taking what you think 
You possess 
Now I guess you don't anymore you little bitch 


In my eyes you are a little kid 
Know you fucking place and don't you ever talk shit 

$KETCHY IS BACK

very unhappy with this one

https://pin.it/6uP89WRAD

https://youtu.be/coIbsaK5blU?si=ioO-fHeF6HVXF4mT

Seeing the flowers grow
Seeming fragile breaking any second 
So pathetic 
so small making me anxious 

I see the sun rise again 
I feel it on my skin 
In light everything looks different 

In light beauty is to see easily 
In the dark not as much 
But you hold on 

Punches coming left and right 
Sometimes it breaks you down 
But a human always gets back up
Eventually 

Life is a gift 
Sometimes you have to tell yourself that
Even if you don't believe it 

I still don't believe it in my heart 
It's so hard for me 
I lived in the abyss of life 

And when it comes grasping out again 
Sometimes I don't have the strength to resist 
And comply 

To a low follows a high 
Sometimes at least 
But that's just how life comes to be 

Stop looking and start seeing that 
The truth doesn't have to be that harsh as it's always painted 

The canvas isn't just filled with one object its
Painfully obvious once you start to see it 

But everyone to their self I guess
You'll find your own way I bet 
You find something that works

It's naive to say the least 
To paint in one color 
But really who am I to judge 






life is a gift

pretty shit but I like the vibe 

https://pin.it/2l8PHVOMa

https://on.soundcloud.com/BkUnK

Counting on these stacks 
While I feel I'm on my last lap 
Feel defeated and I don't know how to act 
Around people and I am tying the pieces 
they won't stay intact if I don't constantly act 

I feel powerless when I really ain't 
Picking up the broken pieces I am close to faint 
Im talking to myself cause I know no one can stand 
Being around me I feel constantly dead 

And I feel defeated 
Punches knocking me I dont believe in 
Me and ain't that a little too old to hold on keeping
Reality 
Out of my mind 
I couldn't succeed
If I tried

I pass on passing the ball to another 
I am asking, I'm asking but why do I bother 


Hanging by the feet I don't get down 
I say that I could but don't want to let go 
I beg for someone telling me how to act now 
While Anxiety is cutting off the anchor 

Please don't believe in me
Youll be disappointed cause I don't see 
How I won't be destroyed
 low-key Im annoyed 
cause I see 
how this is playing out 


Say it together now 
My childhood paying out 
The pain of staying alive 
is worth it all 



please dont believe in me

aka yung stroker aka MC Balding aka TheSisterFister aka shitboy 


alt account 

stuff from my general production and for fun :)

all unmixed cause i dont want to


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