Name: The Ballad of Ricky Peso by No Peso
Duration: 4 min 6 s
Description: Beat by Vintage Man, hook lyrics from the song "Some Folks" by Neon Horse.

Hustle Crowe (Lo-Fi Mix)

Dick Fitzergoode

Gun So Big

Once upon a time, the rapper known as No Peso was sucker punched by a loser named Corey Bradshaw at a bar called Bud & Tootie’s. Seeing as how No Peso was on probation at the time, he was unable to fight back, as he was banned from all drinking establishments and would have risked 6 months in jail.

But you know Peso, ladies and gentlemen. That man always gets the last laugh. You know what they say! “Never swing on a man who knows your darkest secrets. Definitely don’t swing on a rapper.”

You see, Corey tries to present himself as a straight, confident, macho dude (see that cringe ass profile pic?). However, deep down he is the opposite of all three. Once upon a time, he and his friend Garrett Gump experimented a little bit. A lotta bit. Wouldn’t want someone to rap about that particular secret, would ya?

Ole Scrappy Doo never dropped a rebuttal. Why? 

He had that dick in his mouth.

Don’t worry, though, there’s a happy ending.

The daughter he owes back child support for now has a great stepfather that doesn’t kill cats and actually pays his bills instead of mooching off friends and women.

Imagine that.

Julie is quite happy with her new family and has forgotten Corey Bradshaw, the closeted weirdo who often drives by his baby mama’s house and cries.

Ah, the circle of life!

Disclaimer: The Real Ricky, No Peso, still awaits a response track to this day. 

Keep in mind that certain factors prevent this: Corey has alienated any and all people who could possibly record and produce him. This is in addition to his crippling handicap of zero talent, as well as being constantly broke.

To offset this, No Peso has extended the same offer he does to all his local opponents: not only will he provide Corey with free studio time and final production, he will also help Corey WRITE a response diss track to “The Real R.I.C.K.Y.”, just to make it fair.

No Peso gets a tax write-off for charity work.

(Beat by ThatKidGoran)

The Real R.I.C.K.Y. (Corey Bradshaw Diss)

Everything I Say Is Fire

I Love New Phila

Dime A Dozen

Honey Arizona

Squanto 3: Vinyl Flowride

The band director and his pervy son get caught up in a scandalous travesty. The high school kept him on payroll after finding out this 21 year-old assistant band director was grooming a 13 year-old while in a position of power. There's no way that daddy didn't know . . . The rumors have been flying for years. PEDO CONFIRMED. 

This one for the children.

Pervy Furbay (Brandon Furbay Diss)

Beat by Vintage Man, hook lyrics from the song "Some Folks" by Neon Horse.

The Ballad of Ricky Peso

The Only Real Rapper In New Phila.

Repping Arizona Sweet Tea.
Sponsored by your local public library.
Drinks by Judge Linda Kate.

NO PESO. 

True to the name, this satirical persona from the mind of Drew Ramos is an independent rapper who doesn't care about fame, money, drugs, or bitches. 

All he cares about is saving his local rap scene. 

HOW, EXACTLY? 

By taking it back to its boom bappin' roots, and slaughtering each track with the wittiest of wordplays, the cleverest of cadences, and the bombest of intelligent bar crafting to have ever come out of Tuscarawas County. 

With a completely unique and unparalleled delivery, Peezy's infinitely different flows still serve to remind the listener of a simpler time: when the vibes were old-school and the spitting was raw. 

Back when rap was about the rapping.

Yes, sir.

Tagging toes, stacking flows, and bagging hoes.
That's all that Squanto Redhot knows.

Oh, and he also ran for President.

EPILOGUE:

Beyond No Peso, Drew Ramos writes original indie alternative music as a therapeutic hobby, having previously written and produced 4 albums of these genre-bending explorations of his soul. Links to this more serious, deeply personal aspect of his musical expression can be found down below.

The Ballad of Ricky Peso

No Peso

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