new track w/ @iamoneheart

stream https://kurate.lnk.to/DS034
released by @dreamscapeyt

snowfall w/ Øneheart

entris, Blut Own - solace

Stream/Download:
original - https://too.fm/rrq7o95
slowed + reverb - https://too.fm/abyanm9

music video - youtube.com/watch?v=3Kq8MpkWS0c

Follow entris:
@callmeentris
inst: instagram.com/callmeentris/
tiktok:tiktok.com/@callmeentris
tg: t.me/entrisss
vk: vk.com/entris
socials: linktr.ee/entris

Follow Blut Own:
inst: instagram.com/blutownsound 
yt: youtube.com/@blutownsound
vk: vk.com/blut_own
sc: soundcloud.com/blut_own
fb: facebook.com/blutownsound

released by @lostsounds-official:
youtube.com/@LSTSOUNDS

solace

crying

undercurrent rain on my window

White Bikes

I'm Not Dying To Be Here

Nail In Your Hand

Wall

I'm Still Here

I promised to take my mum out, but my suicidality has gotten so worse, I've been using maladaptive methods to cope with it, hoping I can fight through it till the weekend.This is written cuz my therapist told me that if I have strong urge to k*ll myself, to try to write something, anything, for 15min. It did help, but not for long.

Script:

Gave two cuts to my right wrist today,
Surface level, not even reaching the muscle tissue,
I’m so incompetent in self-harming, 
had to feel some sense of serotonin viewing those that did it.
Seeing the blood was a sign of success.

Back then when we were kids, 
2am was the scariest hour ever but 
Now it's the most comforting hour.

i know how draining it can be, 
but sometimes i just love the feeling of being the only one awake in my house 
while everyone else is asleep. 
just me and my earbuds, 
alone in my room. perhaps it's the solitude, 
the one moment where i can truly exist, 
untouched and unbothered by anyone else. 
a moment in the dark, the lovely night, 
no blaring lights or loud conversations.

I concurred to this statement,
“Suicidal individuals experiencing even a minor rejection or disappointment,
Is a catastrophic blow to their self-esteem and psychic integrity,
undercutting their ability to cope”

You expect me to say, “I want to go home, I want to see my family”,
Instead, what you hear is,
“I want to go to a very high building and throw myself off on a concrete carpark,
Knowing that my mum is watching as I hit the ground.”

You told me to be kind, that kindness brings kindness in return
Shed a tear, no one to tell, I asked you not to lie, so you spun me a pipe dream
By the time I had the chance to move forward, my future was already cut off 

“You’re just not talented” I’m sure I heard that line before.
Maybe that would explain why I am unable to stay on a job after the first day.
You said I'm missing something that everyone has, and I am starting to believe it

At this stage, as until almost the final day of the attempt,
My feelings were ambivalent: 
I want to die and I desperately want to be rescued.
So, even after buying a stack of paracetamol.
I continued to make plans with my friends. 

You shouldn't think too much, 
shorthand for “Feel too much”

Running towards the incoming lane, 
I’m sorry to the one I crashed into.

You told me to be patient, some people need time to catch on
I don’t want to argue and disagree over the phone.
I want to avoid these particular trains of thought

Albert Camus, in his book The Myth of Sisyphus,
Argued that siucide is essentially a confession that life is not worth living. 

“Boyfriend broke up with me, what should I do? Abuse substance”
“Why do you have to be so fucked up”,
“You know if you die, the world won’t end”
“Im beyond help at this point”
“You are not serious enough if you are only crossing the road, and not the highway”

60 centimeter waist,
40 kilogram weight,
Completely flat tummy,
Small calves,
Prominent ribs,
Prominent spine,
Arms I can wrap my hand around,
BMI 10
Death.

Distorted thinking,
Refusal to acknowledge dangers attached,
Escalation of obsessive and rural behaviours,
Increasing secretiveness.
I know all the right things to say, and I’ll say what they need to hear, and they’ll let me go,
I’m self-aware, I know that it’s sick and dangerous, but I’m also scared to recover, because my illness makes me feel safe.
That’s why I still put up with it.


みんなが持ってる“何か”が、僕には足りないって、 君が言った言葉——今は、それを信じ始めてる。 You said I'm missing something that everyone has,  and I am starting to believe it

No Game No Life - "This Game" (Opening) | ENGLISH ver | AmaLee

┗ 27
┗ Songwriter
┗ Producer
► Open to Collab
┓Diagnosed depression, Anxiety disorder, Passive SI, hope you be kind to me.

みんなが持ってる“何か”が、僕には足りないって、君が言った言葉——今は、それを信じ始めてる。 You said I'm missing something that everyone has, and I am starting to believe it

NOSUNLIGHT

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みんなが持ってる“何か”が、僕には足りないって、 君が言った言葉——今は、それを信じ始めてる。 You said I'm missing something that everyone has, and I am starting to believe it

NOSUNLIGHT

Related tracks

みんなが持ってる“何か”が、僕には足りないって、君が言った言葉——今は、それを信じ始めてる。 You said I'm missing something that everyone has, and I am starting to believe it