Lyrics:
Delinquent, sequence
Of events that led to you
Leaving me in my room
The reason, you’re leaving
Is written all over your face
And I can’t hide the truth
That I’ve been waiting for you
To leave me

It’s on the tip of my tongue again
And I hope I don’t let this slip
I just wanna feel young again
All I got was another trip

Because these days aren’t slowing down
And I haven’t been getting out

I’m laying
Facedown, i’m facing the truth now
You were not around when I needed you here
I know it’s not the sound that you wanted to hear
You’re just different now and I can’t stand how you turned out

I lie
Paralyzed
Don't fly
Too high
It's inside
It's not life
It's a lie
Besides
What if I'm wrong
What if it's me
What if I fail and everyone can see
And when I'm gone
Do they speak
About all my insecurities
Because these days arent slowing down
And I haven't been getting out

Paralyzed

On My Mind (Still)

Self Care

The Cycle

Wasted

Mashup of lovedrug (Kill Bill and Rav) x i didn't realize how empty my bed was until you left (Roderick Porter)

Lovedrug X I Didn't Realize How Empty My Bed Was Until You Left

Lyrics:
I've been having trouble 
Tryna muddle through what I wanna do
Cause every time
I close my eyes its comin back in view
It's clogging up 
And fogging up and I dont have a clue
How to make it stop
And get my mind off you

I lack the confidence
Or common sense to make this declassified
I'd run through hell and back
If only that could get you by my side
I'm just way too scared
To clear the air and you're the reason why

It's cause you're on my mind
It's cause you're on my mind (x2)

You got in my brain
Drove me insane and now you're stuck inside
Don't wanna take a chance
Just wanna make you dance and not just run and hide
I can't keep it straight
And not lose faith no matter what I try
I can't seem to be
The one you need and get me on your mind
I'm losing sleep
Almost constantly and fearing for my life
You get close to me 
But I can't see, I'm blinded by the light
I get close to you
Don't think it through, no I'm not alright
I can't tell the truth
I'm scared to lose and you're the reason why

on my mind (still)

Lyrics:
I can feel myself slipping again
When I'm manic I can deal with it
But for now, I'll just sit
I'll just sit
And I'll keep my ear to the ground
And I'll listen for the sound
Of the cycle coming around
It’s coming around It’s coming around 

Because
I'm not
Getting any better
I'm just getting better
At managing the cycle

I've been such a fucking mess
I'm not making any sense
There's just too much in my head
Think I'll wait it out instead
My life's a fucking wreck
Couldn't care any less 
Think I'd rather be in bed
Think I'll wait it out again
(Fuck)

Because
I'm not 
Getting any better
I'm just getting better
At managing the cycle

I can feel myself slipping again
When I'm manic I can deal with it
But for now, I'll just sit
I'll just sit
And I'll keep my ear to the ground
And I'll listen for the sound
Of the cycle coming around
It’s coming around It’s coming around 
Because

I'm not
Getting any better
I'm just getting better
At managing the cycle

(You asked me if I felt like myself
It's just too hard to tell
It's just too hard to tell
You asked me if I felt like myself
Am I even myself
Am I even myself
I said I'm not)

Lyrics:
I've gotta get this taste out of my mouth
Cause I forgot to eat again
And you could call me up just to let me down
But I'd still be your friend
Maybe I'm addicted to the disappointment
Maybe I'm just happy to not be the one to blame
Maybe I just love the finger pointing
Maybe it's myself that I have grown to hate

I've been settling into
The isolation and indignation of comparing myself to you
I've been well aware
That it's come down to keeping you around or self care

Convince me that it's all my fault
Turn on the gaslight for no reason at all
Keep it up. Self destruct.
I'll be the one take the fall
No hurry, but could you speed it up
I've see how it ends, and I feel stuck
I dropped the ball, it's all your call
Maybe it's me and my bad luck

I've been getting hung up
On the part I play in all the ways I fucked up
I've been well aware
That it's come down to keeping you around or

Self realization is destructible
Self deprication is not functional
Self realization is destructible 
Self deprication is not functional

I've been settling into
The isolation and indignation of comparing myself to you
I've been well aware
That it's come down to keeping you around or self care
I've been getting hung up
On the part I play in all the ways I fucked up
I've been well aware
That it's come down to keeping you around or self care

not-alex

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