loansharks - underscores (ft. gabby start) (nt remix)

didn'tknow (ni$h!th)

where did you fall - underscores (nt remix)

trappin' bozos (bozo bozo bozo - underscores // nt remix)

fall - carbine (nt remix)

a throwaway song from route103

WARNING: THIS SONG IS LOUD AND OVERBEARING. don’t listen if you’re prone to loud overproduction.

lyrics: 
and i love you still
in the coldest winter
and i love you still

been avoiding me
frozen solid why you been so cold to me
treading in the snow watch my steps sink in
like the mark we made when you barged right in
to my soul
and then you took everything
give it time i swear you woulda got a wedding ring
now you took me out your movie call that editing
and now this frostbite eats me up and i don’t know what i’ve been battling 
and you’ve been so cold to me i feel the breeze it’s passing by and
everything i ever did for you was done cause of a lie
when i thought you really loved me and i thought you really cared but
everybody knows you loved him more just trying to be fair
and no he doesn’t even want you but i know he’d still be better
i’m just hoping that one day you know that i would put the effort 
but i’m just a stupid sinner i can’t ever be a winner
but i’ll always love you even though your hearts the coldest winter

coldest winter (throwaway)

made august 27th, 2021

was it someone else
did you just want me to take off my belt
yeah you put me under your spell
until it became a prison cell
love hurts i know it first hand
whyd you have other plans for me
we were livin a damn fantasy
till you took that back from me

so much 4 forever
didn’t think that you would ever
hate me the way you do
what did i do? i’m so confused 

before you i was falling apart
dreaming of being in your arms
but i guess it was just a phase
till everything was okay
until you moved on but i haven’t done the same

now i’m stuck with this haze in my mind
keep on thinking i’ll be fine
then someone takes me just to break me like maybe it’s a sign
can’t say i’m alright 
but you’re doing better and that’s all that matters cause lately i don’t think that i do 

so much 4 forever
didn’t think that you would ever
hate me the way you do
what did i do? i’m so confused

so much 4 forever (diordakid / addtl. nishith)

dates to october 2021

Take her out to Paris
France 
I don’t care about your plans
Starry night we could slow dance
Evening in the city of romance
Girl when I’m with you man my heart stops
What’s the word man I’ll show up at your door shop 
Millionaire mindset but I got none
But if you got a problem tell me it’ll get done

Give me a ring again
My bad that was in my dreams
Reliving a fantasy 
Everytime I see you
Take it back again
Loving you will never end
No matter how much you say you don’t 
We more than friends
Maybe we’re not friends
Got me in a sinkin ship
Thought I knew you
Oh god I barely did
Reload your number just to see if you gon text me back
It’s been like 4 days left delivered on snapchat 
You thought you were fine
Maybe I wasn’t thinking right
Got me daydreaming in your eyes
But a storms forming caught me by surprise
Man I love you but you’re so damn cold
Feel the breeze as I walk past your shoulder
Remember back at 9 thought that I would get bolder
Now I’m 14 and I’m scared of getting older

Take her out to Paris
France 
I don’t care about your plans
Starry night we could slow dance
Evening in the city of romance
Girl when I’m with you man my heart stops
What’s the word man I’ll show up at your door shop 
Millionaire mindset but I got none
But if you got a problem tell me it’ll get done

if you got a problem tell me it’ll get done
if you got a boy tell me and he’ll be done 
nah i’m playing man i’m happy if you are
but i’m really only happy if i got you in your arms
so i’ll play a cool facade acting like i’m fine
acting like i never asked you out and crossed a line
maybe i’m embarrassed cause i know you told your friends
i’m being dumped by everyone is it just another trend 
reload your texts but all i see is that day
where you told me you had plans and all my courage blew away
it’s not your fault it’s mine
maybe i should be a better guy
but if you wanna come for one night 
but if you wanna go to paris we can fly

paris, france (nishith)

july 2021

I aint sleep for like 3 whole days my memory getting dazy
Waiting for a reply on Snap but that dont come by latelty
When these morons start talking shit gotta tell em I"m done
If you knew what I did for you would you say I've done enough

(Hook) I guess I'm not enough
What did I do to fuck up
Now I'm fed up, somethings wrong but you won't tell me what
Is it just cause you think I'm not enough
I guess I'm not enough
What did I do to fuck up
Now I'm fed up, somethings wrong but you won't tell me what
Is it just cause you think I'm not enough

(Verse)
If you knew what I did for you
24/7 online just so if you send a text I can view it
Spent so many hours writing out essays just to delete and say screw it
But we gon get through it
Tried to text u once I threw it
Tried to take you out and I blew it
But you know I wont stop pursuing it
Goddamn you're so confusing
Who do you thinking you're fooling?
(You  think she still loves you bro) Well I guess I'm the one you're fooling
try to send a message i dismiss
They all call me scared they dont know shit
Don't wanna end up (Click click) as a screenshot so I won’t say shit

I aint sleep for like 3 whole days my memory getting dazy
Waiting for a reply on Snap but that dont come by latelty
When these morons start talking shit gotta tell em I"m done
If you knew what I did for you would you say I've done enough

(Hook) I guess I'm not enough
What did I do to fuck up
Now I'm fed up, somethings wrong but you won't tell me what
Is it just cause you think I'm not enough
I guess I'm not enough
What did I do to fuck up
Now I'm fed up, somethings wrong but you won't tell me what
Is it just cause you think I'm not enough

not enough (exelons // addtl. nishith)

Chorus: Ni$h!th]
They all wanna start beef, I'ma let 'em
It's they fault they just losing they accolade
Mental health, I been prayin' for better days
Hoping one day we gon' see another way
Wanna start beef, I'll forget 'em
All the arguin' gotta stop someday
I been sayin' nobody wanna stay
Givin' presents all night like it's Santa's sleigh

[Verse 1: Ni$h!th]
Uh, yeah
But that night really was a damn movie
Everyone that I love getting picked off
The shift starts, then I'm pissed off
Mad impulsive, get ticked off easily
Hoped that one day these people would have decency (Uh)
I was friends with the guy that started it all
Was cool with his friends, ignorin' the call
That maybe they didn't really like me at all
One day, he told me that I gotta leave
I did that, now I'm thinking I can't believe
They all cut me off so damn easily
Was nothing but nice, that's not what I received
Now I focus on myself
Been talkin' with people who care 'bout my health
Been talkin' to people to better myself
Been talkin' to people who really wanna help
I can't be bothered takin' it farther
Tried to check in, but you just made it harder
You get mad and cross borders for starters
Confined in your own little web, Peter Parker
Cutting off people that don't suck your dick
If they think a lil' less of you, then they ain't shit
Fuck you and everyone close to you, guess I was never your friend
Uh, I guess that this is the end

[Interlude: Ni$h!th]
Heh, I guess its your life though
You do what you want
I wish you nothin' but the best
Can't really control anything you do

[Chorus: Ni$h!th]
They all wanna start beef, I'ma let 'em
It's they fault they just losing they accolade
Mental health, I been prayin' for better days
Hoping one day we gon' see another way
Wanna start beef, I'll forget 'em
All the arguin' gotta stop someday
I been sayin' nobody wanna stay
Givin' presents all night like it's Santa's sleigh

beef (bonus track) (nt cut)

ni$h!th - curtain call
dashie - middle
lorey - drake make loev to a steak
milkfish - dreamcatcher remix
ni$h!th - i'm pretty sure we knew the entire time... (didn't know VIP)
gingus - to derp or not to derp
quannnic - what does this room look like\
carbine - fall (nt remix)

nt @ swagfest2022 // aka this fruity ahh DAW ain't SHIT

nerd emoji 

If you really like me then let's go
If you don't, don't act like I'm your bro
Yeah they really wanna' kill me, yeah, I know
If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know

If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Cause I don't got no time to entertain a hoe
But if you the one we can slide if you want
If you wanna find me I'm not too gone to look
And now it's back on the old days
Thought I wasn't enough but I really caught your bluff
You were acting all for what
Now I'm slowly picking pieces back up i'm not finished
You a pussy you cannot be in my business

Now it's tricks tricks tricks tricks damn you're such a bitch
I was in a sinking ship and now I'm putting you in it
Cause I don't need your fake love your fake trust I'm through with it
Gave you everything you want but somehow I'm the piece of shit
Curtain call whos here the plays starting
I see your poker face too bad I'm gonna call it
Put my friends against me to put on a show
I don't like you anymore you should just go

If you really like me then let's go
If you don't, don't act like I'm your bro
Yeah they really wanna' kill me, yeah, I know
If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know

curtain call! (nishith / aviad)

made this song in under an hour
added prod. me

Kid Talks About Money Knowing Damn Well They're Broke (prod. rollie)

Can't hold my senses together
When I'm under the weather you're there
And all I ask is some space and you give me a stare
The kind of blank look that makes me think you're not even there

And I can deal with pressure
Maybe I can't
But I'll do it for you
And I'll do what I can
I just hope that my names stays etched
I just hope that they don't forget

Please be proud of me
If not you then who am I prideful for
Be proud of me
Don't forget me when you close the door cause
I can't wait another minute before I break down
So tell me you're proud of me
Before I'm not around anymore

"Wouldn't let it tear you apart the way it did to me"
Cause all these pressure knocked me down now I can't sleep
Thinking all night bout how I let you down every single other day
I'm reminded of it every time I see your face

So pick me up then put me down
Didn't know how cold it would sound
How I froze myself then let it decay
Backstabbed too many times way too many names

But I'm fine with bein yours
As long as you're still backing me
As long as you're not doubting me
As long as you're still proud of me

Please be proud of me
If not you then who am I prideful for
Be proud of me
Don't forget me when you close the door cause
I can't wait another minute before I break down
So tell me you're proud of me
Before I'm not around anymore
Please be proud of me
If not you then who am I prideful for
Be proud of me
Don't forget me when you close the door cause
I can't wait another minute before I break down
So tell me you're proud of me
Before I'm not around anymore

effaced (nishith / quedronol)

See you in all of my dreams
A stupid fantasy
It's been a few months at most, how're you still mad at me?
I got this looming sense that everybody around me
Knows that I'm a burden
They still keep me around, I don't know how
And lately I've been running farther from myself
It's a constant chase but lately I've been catching up with hell
So I've lived my last few minutes fore' I just give up and melt
I'm far too short of breath, I've reached the end so pray I tell

Cause I'm guilty, put on trial
My sentencing was final
If it fixes everything, I'm fine
And I know it might kinda sting
But I'll be selfish for once, cause I've had enough
Had enough

short of breath

Thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
And I don't think I'll gain my trust back
Cause I thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
I don't know what to do about that
Thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
And I don't think I'll gain my trust back
Cause I thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
I don't know what to do about that
Yeah I guess that's that

All these bitches now they got a ego
But me, I'm to the side making me dough
They're going to come running back but I don't need them
They used to hate on me and now they think I'll see them
Fuck that I don't need them anyways
Kick them out the backdoor if they're not a friend of me
Check them off the list
Check it twice, do it everyday
Until all of these fakes stop messing around I'mma make them pay

They ask if I'm up but that's nonsense
We know why you hit me up stop talkin
I'm running out of options
They see my ice and they're gonna flock, Baskin Robbins
Left me out how the feelings changed
Now it's mutual you just want the money game
You backstabbed me you think that I wanna play
With you?

Thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
And I don't think I'll gain my trust back
Cause I thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
I don't know what to do about that
Thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
And I don't think I'll gain my trust back
Cause I thought we were friends
You backstabbed me
I don't know what to do about that
Yeah I guess that's that

They all left me for dead

They all left me for dead
I didn't know any better
Always getting left on read
No thoughts on how I was better
Yet at the same time
They all came back after their crimes
No apology they must think I'm really delusional
I hate them with every inch of my

backstabber

I took a photo with you but I learned the camera's off
Still don't know why I hate you, hear your name, I brush it off
So many memories, deleted them, we let them go
And now it's back to what I was doing before
To tell you the truth, I'm quite lost without you now
If I had to die, I'd die for you
It's hardly been two weeks without you, how?
You lied to me then removed the truth

So much for happy ever after, that's a stupid phrase!
I hear the cameras flash again, but I was blurry faced
I asked to take another photo but it's all a waste
Smile, the camera's on
Yeah, the camera's on!

Smile, the camera's on
Yeah, the camera's on!

Smile, the camera's on
Yeah, the camera's on!

You rented rooms inside my mind (inside my mind, mind)
So you could break it from inside (from inside, side)
It took me years to gain the photos back
And even though they hurt I still look back and think "I'm over that!"
(You never got over her)

I'm not in any of the photos sitting in your room
I wonder if you still remember me at 22
Forgot so easily, it's like I was never really there
It honestly seems like you never even really cared

So when you told me that you loved me, was it real?
When you said it, I didn't know how I could feel
Ran right over me like I was built of steel
My last attempts all failed so I resorted to deleting all those memories away!

Smile, the camera's on
Yeah, the camera's on!

Smile, the camera's on
Yeah, the camera's on!

the flash was off

blossoms in d.c.

[Chorus]
If you really like me then let's go
If you don't, don't act like I'm your bro
Yeah they really wanna' kill me, yeah, I know
If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know

[Verse]
If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Cause I don't got no time to entertain a hoe
But if you the one we can slide if you want
If you wanna find me I'm not too gone to look
And now it's back on the old days
Thought I wasn't enough but I really caught your bluff
You were acting all for what
Now I'm slowly picking pieces back up I'm not finished
You a pussy you cannot be in my business
Now it's tricks tricks tricks tricks damn you're such a bitch
I was in a sinking ship and now I'm putting you in it
Cause I don't need your fake love your fake trust I'm through with it
Gave you everything you want but somehow I'm the piece of shit
Curtain call whos here the plays starting
I see your poker face too bad I'm gonna call it
Put my friends against me to put on a show
I don't like you anymore you should just go

[Chorus]
If you really like me then let's go
If you don't, don't act like I'm your bro
Yeah they really wanna' kill me, yeah, I know
If you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know
Know, know, if you're gonna break my heart then let me know

curtain call (coprod. aviad)

Message, blowing up on my cellular, I see you
Pictures, swiping through on my cellular, I need you
You sat in my heart, like a settler, I feel you
Baby, let it be true
You're the only one on my phone that I can't see through
Why's it so hard for you to play along?
Song after song, what did I do wrong?
Message, blowing up on my cellular, I see you
Pictures, swiping through on my cellular, I need you
You sat in my heart, like a settler, I feel you
Baby, let it be true
You're the only one on my phone that I can't see through
Why's it so hard for you to play along?
Song after song, what did I do wrong?

"No, I can't be asked anymore, you're just a bother"
Please shut the fuck up, I just hope you didn't call her
Yeah, it's coming slowly and your dreams are getting farther
You're never gonna call her
I don't even know what I'm supposed to do
When everything around me has been turning blue
If you're by my side it'll be a different hue
If you hit my phone then I know it's true

Message, blowing up on my cellular, I see you
Pictures, swiping through on my cellular, I need you
You sat in my heart, like a settler, I feel you
Baby, let it be true
You're the only one on my phone that I can't see through
Why's it so hard for you to play along?
Song after song, what did I do wrong?
Message, blowing up on my cellular, I see you
Pictures, swiping through on my cellular, I need you
You sat in my heart, like a settler, I feel you
Baby, let it be true
You're the only one on my phone that I can't see through
Why's it so hard for you to play along?
Song after song, what did I do wrong?

cellular

Pipe down
At this point I feel like giving up right now
I never wanted all of this but now I might drown
Swimming back to the surface hoping that I'll survive
Hoping that I'll be worthy next time
Keep holding me back but now its too late
And I got way too much on my plate
You play with me you play with fire better back down
Thats how I gotta act until nobody's around

Fuck it up every month
Then come home and go to sleep do it again it's not enough
Every day feels like another burden never any peace
Man the pain gets keeping worse antisocial make it work
Can't make a conversation start uh and still I end it
Let the bodies fuckin drop uh every second
I'm insane go away mentally I'm not okay
Every second left dreaming that I never found this place
Yeah they keep me on a pedestal I'm not the guy you want
All my memories rush back and my past comes back to haunt me
Was it worth it hardly
Wishing she would call me
Wishing they would talk to me
Wishing that I didn't ruin the lives of all my friends
You ask me who's the man bitch I'm him/them
I'm the man for bein everything my parents never wanted
Man I'm so exhausted was I this unwanted

Pipe down
At this point I feel like giving up right now
I never wanted all of this but now I might drown
Swimming back to the surface hoping that I'll survive
Hoping that I'll be worthy next time
Keep holding me back but now its too late
And I got way too much on my plate
You play with me you play with fire better back down
Thats how I gotta act until nobody's around

playing with fire (coprod. baredex)

Fuck you and everybody that you hang with
If you beat around the bush you gon' get banged quick
Stalking me online, that's some fan shit
Talkin' all that talk, but you posted up in Kansas
That boy Grade F, don't need no Canvas
I don't need my art validated, on a canvas
That boy not gon' get a second chance
That boy gonna see his DOOM, I'm not talkin' all caps!

Talkin' shit online behind a mask, yeah
What's the point of that?
And I don't see any reason, not like I'm cheating on a track
Just a kid with one dream, to put my city on the map
Say it to my face, you'll regret it
Everybody online's a fucking critic
Everybody online is so analytic
Till' you see them IRL, then they're not so energetic

Pull up, we see dark red, Steve Lacy
Talkin' shit, but you're too scared to face me
No, you cannot copy my sound
Like I got a VPN cause you bitches cannot trace me
I'm the hero of this shit call me Theseus
Listenin' to your EPs is straight tedious
Boutta' put Howard on the map
And I never say lies, but I'm spittin' all caps

Fuck you and everybody that you hang with
If you beat around the bush you gon' get banged quick
Stalking me online, that's some fan shit
Talkin' all that talk, but you posted up in Kansas
That boy Grade F, don't need no Canvas
I don't need my art validated, on a canvas
That boy not gon' get a second chance
That boy gonna see his DOOM, I'm not talkin' all caps!
Fuck you and everybody that you hang with
If you beat around the bush you gon' get banged quick
Stalking me online, that's some fan shit
Talkin' all that talk, but you posted up in Kansas
That boy Grade F, don't need no Canvas
I don't need my art validated, on a canvas
That boy not gon' get a second chance
That boy gonna see his DOOM, I'm not talkin' all caps!

nishith

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