Written, produced, and performed by Nusagi
Guitar and bass performed and recorded by Nusagi

Lyrics:

[Intro]
Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac, m-manic
N-Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac, m-manic

[Verse 1]
Lie lie lie, all you do is fucking lie
Controlling everything I do to keep me on your side
You use everyone you’ve ever met for personal gain
You milk other peoples pain for your money and fame 
You belittle what I love and all my work
I won’t be your punching bag, I want you to hurt
You’re such a princess, you’re such a diva, 
I don’t mean that in a nice way either
Work me like a dog, then you throw me in the garbage
You’re a bad friend and a subpar artist
You’re a bad person, you broke our promise
Now everyone hates me and I know who’s fault it is
Now I’m scared of everyone and don’t know who to trust
All I get is pain from everything I used to love
I can never never rid myself of all of my disgust
You and everyone who hurt me you can get fucked

[Pre-Chorus]
Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac, m-manic
N-Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac

[Hook]
So fuck you
Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just makes me sick
You’re so desperate for clicks
I don’t wanna talk to you
And I’m not gonna take your shit
(Fuck you) Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just me sick
(Fuck you) You’re so desperate for clicks
I’m not your friend anymore
And I’m not gonna be in your clique

[Verse 2]
So you’re too good for me now that you’re A-list
Oh give me a break, you just made it on a playlist
Talk a lot of big shit when it comes to politics
Girlboss extortionist, you’re a fucking hypocrite
You’re not able to care about other people
The only thing that matters to you is your ego
I want you to go away I never want to see you 
Thank god you’re so inept cause you’re just plain evil

[Bridge]
I think I’m better than you
I don’t need you anymore
Think I never really did
I just couldn’t see before 
Lying snake you copied me to gain my trust and clout
Is that why I keep hearing all my words come out your mouth?

[Pre-Chorus]
Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac, m-manic
N-Now you know what time it is
The challenge is over
Cause I’m going out
Like a maniac

[Hook]
So fuck you
Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just makes me sick
You’re so desperate for clicks
I don’t wanna talk to you
And I’m not gonna take your shit
Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just me sick
You’re so desperate for clicks
I’m not your friend anymore
And I’m not gonna be in your clique
(Fuck you) Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just makes me sick
(Fuck you) You’re so desperate for clicks
I don’t wanna talk to you
And I’m not gonna take your shit
(Fuck you) Fuck your clique
Fuck all the internet bullshit
It all just me sick
(Fuck you) You’re so desperate for clicks
I’m not your friend anymore
And I’m not gonna be in your clique

[Outro]
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means you get what you deserve
Best friends means I pulled the trigger
Best friends means YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE
WHAT YOU DESERVE
YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!

MANGADEX

'friend' is a 4 letter word

This is a song about feeling like you might not have to be alone anymore

Written, produced and performed by Nusagi

Lyrics:

(Verse)
My face glows when she lights up my screen
I can’t believe that she could look my way
I can’t imagine how she must see me
But when I saw that text it made my day
Don’t really understand these feelings I’ve endured
I get so nervous that I start to sweat
She’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, for sure
I gotta tell you all about this girl I met

(Chorus)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)

(Verse)
My face glows when she lights up my screen
I can’t believe that she could look my way
I can’t imagine how she must see me
But when I saw that text it made my day
Don’t really understand these feelings I’ve endured
I get so nervous that I start to sweat
She’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen, for sure
I gotta tell you all about this girl I met

(Chorus)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)
I can't wait to tell you all about this girl
(Can’t wait to tell you all about this girl)

thisgirl

Written, produced and performed by Nusagi

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Hi my name’s Nusagi
And no one wants to talk to me
Set on self destruct
Because no one here is stopping me
I don’t make friends
I play pretend on the internet
Tell me “be a man”
I was never too good at that
Hi my name’s Nusagi
I can’t stop saying sorry
Sorry that I said that
I wish I hadn’t started
Try to say my real name
And couldn’t stop stutter
I disappoint everyone
I can’t stop stumbling

[Hook]
I don’t wanna leave my room
It’s too much stress
I don’t wanna talk to you
You could care less
I don’t want the real world
It’s too much stress
I live in a daydream
That I read off mangadex 
I don’t wanna leave my room
It’s too much stress
I don’t wanna talk to you
You could care less
I don’t want the real world
It’s too much stress
I live in a daydream
That I read off mangadex 

[Verse 2]
Hi my names nusagi
And no ones ever loved me
Divorcees in my inbox
But they just wanna fuck me
Sneak me in the house
Because I make you ashamed
Love me for an hour
Then you throw me away
Hi my names Nusagi
And I don’t have a body
I can’t stop from sobbing
When I see pictures of me
Woke up from a good dream
And couldn’t stop crying then
Said that I’m girl yeah
Ain’t nobody buying that 

[Hook]
I don’t wanna leave my room
It’s too much stress
I don’t wanna talk to you
You could care less
I don’t want the real world
It’s too much stress
I live in a daydream
That I read off mangadex 
I don’t wanna leave my room
It’s too much stress
I don’t wanna talk to you
You could care less
I don’t want the real world
It’s too much stress
I live in a daydream
That I read off mangadex 

[Outro]
I wish that someone would ask how I’m feeling
You never noticed cause you never see me
I wish that someone could see how I’m feeling
I never told you cause you won’t believe me

This is a song about aging

Written, produced and performed by Nusagi
Arranged by Nusagi and Mafuba
Guitar performed and recorded by Nusagi

Lyrics:

[Verse 1]
Okay, no it’s fine, just another day
I don’t wanna have a cake, let’s just get this out the way
My conditions getting worse I don’t recognize my face
I been aging all wrong this is some kind of mistake
Okay, no it’s fine, just another day
I don’t wanna have a cake, let’s just get this out the way
My conditions getting worse I don’t recognize my face
I been aging all wrong this is some kind of mistake
If it hasn’t happened now I don’t think it ever will
Always break another bone if I try to scale the hill
Hear it crack so fast, it takes longer just to heal
And I try so hard but I know you never hear
Running trying to catch up, doors closing in my path
All the faces that I loved growing blurry as I pass
Got a head start, got stuck, so I come in last 
Just please just please don’t ask about the past

[Hook]
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost

[Verse 2]
Nothing left, no one cares any more
Times up, no life, nothing there anymore
Who would ever wanna listen to a single thing I say
Just a broken old man, he’ll be gone any day
No time for anything to get better
He has nothing left to give if you ever let her
Now you’ve arrived that’s it goodbye
This is all that you get no more goodnight
I regret everything I've ever said
Stay up every night wishing that I could forget
Every day I get closer to the end
Stay up every night slipping closer to the edge
Do you remember in the third grade?
You had the front row to all of my mistakes
All of missteps and all the regret
Everyone I know I wish I'd never met

(Hook)
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost

[Bridge]
Everything I do is wrong
I can never be enough
Everybody else is gone
I could never have kept up
Everything I do is wrong
I can never be enough
Everybody else is gone
I could never have kept up
Everything I do is wrong
I can never be enough
Everybody else is gone
I could never have kept up
Everything I do is wrong
I can never be enough
Everybody else is gone
I could never have kept up

Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
Please don’t remind me of the time I lost
No I’m not happy today 

[Hook]
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost
No I’m not happy today
Just leave and give me my space
Please don’t remind me of the time I’ve lost
Please don’t remind me of the life I lost

i hate birthdays

ty for the verse izzy <3

lyrics:

[intro]
it’s medicine, isn’t it?
so I am sick
I was right

[hook: nusagi]
slits on my wrist got me itching like I’m tweaking
scars on my arms growing deeper every weekend
when I’m outside they look at me like a demon 
please don’t leave I can cauterize my feelings

talk talk talk talk talk
I don’t wanna hear it
block block block block block
all these people wanna
talk talk talk talk talk
just leave me alone you’re 
block block block block blocked

[verse 1: nusagi]
baby please don’t leave me all alone there
I can’t see those signs that you had posted
I can’t pick the phone up without feeling nauseas 
all the ports are froze up blockage from the vomit
I can’t go to sleep I feel sick
sheets stained leak from my wrist
I’m not like you we don’t click
I’m not even human like him

[hook: nusagi]
slits on my wrist got me itching like I’m tweaking
scars on my arms growing deeper every weekend
when I’m outside they look at me like a demon 
please don’t leave I can cauterize my feelings

talk talk talk talk talk
I don’t wanna hear it
block block block block block in
all these people wanna
talk talk talk talk talk
just leave me alone you’re 
block block block block blocked

[verse 2: foxparkk]
emotions in a twist, I never know how I’m feeling
and I can’t fucking sleep, im just staring at the ceiling
wondering if I’ll ever find any peace
in this world that wasn’t made for me, a world that won’t stop hating me
gave up staying sober for the 3rd time this week
think my liver tapping out, yeah my body feeling weak
everything is getting blurry, fuck im really starting to worry
that this might be the night that I die in my sleep

[hook: nusagi]
slits on my wrist got me itching like I’m tweaking
scars on my arms growing deeper every weekend
when I’m outside they look at me like a demon 
please don’t leave I can cauterize my feelings

talk talk talk talk talk
I don’t wanna hear it
block block block block block in
all these people wanna
talk talk talk talk talk
just leave me alone you’re 
block block block block blocked

[hook: nusagi]
talk talk talk talk talk
I don’t wanna hear it
block block block block block in
all these people wanna
talk talk talk talk talk
just leave me alone you’re 
block block block block blocked
talk talk talk talk talk
I don’t wanna hear it
block block block block block in
all these people wanna
talk talk talk talk talk
just leave me alone you’re 
block block block block blocked

[outro]
it stings because you cut off your feathers
just rinse them with cold water when you wake up tomorrow morning
that should make the black seem less noticeable

TALK (ft. foxparkk)

this is a song about jealousy

[Intro]
I wish that I could fit
Into the clothes you wear
I want to feel your hair
Grow out of my head
If I could wear your skin
I’d never take it off
You just don’t know how good you’ve got it

[Refrain]
If I broke all the bones in my hand
Then would they be as pretty as yours?
If I tore all the bones out my back
Then could I sneak through your door

[Chorus]
I wanna fit inside your skin yeah
I wanna fit inside your skin
I wanna wear your body inside
I wanna fit inside your skin

[Verse 1]
I tried to wear them but your clothes don’t fit right
You look so pretty but on me it won’t look right
I tried to sing you a song but I can’t stay in tune
I pushed my voice too high, it cracked and opened the wound

[Refrain]
If I broke all the bones in my hand
Then would they be as pretty as yours?

[Chorus]
I wanna fit inside your skin yeah
I wanna fit inside your skin
I wanna wear your body inside
I wanna fit inside your skin

[Verse 2]
got too many nerves in my hands 
I can’t stand it
no matter how I hold them it hurts
drives me manic
my wrists stick out too far
my arms are so unwieldy
I cut away all my parts
so I can fit your ceiling

[Bridge]
You are so beautiful
You are so effortless
You are so meaningful
You’re unattainable

[Outro]
I’ve been in your bedroom
Snuck in the house when no one’s around
I can’t still my breathing 
But I try my best not to make a sound 

I came in through your window
You sleep with it open, I know you so well
I’m starting to get comfortable
I spray your perfume, I breathe in the smell

I’ve been watching you every day
I loathe your perfection, all things done right
I mirrored every word that you say
But my voice is too low, the sound is too tight

You have everything I’m denied
I try on your makeup but can’t get it right 
Your life was supposed to be mine
I try on your dress, but the shoulders too tight

Throw pillow silencer 
Blood jumps up to stain my palm
We can’t both be her
Air through the slit blows one last song

I climb in your bed
Cut runs from the groin to the head
Climb in and I finally can rest
I sleep in my bed

inside your skin

this is a song about desperation

[Intro]
Try my best but I can’t keep it down
Wasting away am I beautiful now?
Try my best but I can’t keep it down
Wasting away am I beautiful now?

If I’m dying am I pretty?
I don’t want to be ugly anymore

[Hook]
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
I don’t wanna be him anymore
think I’m sick of breathing
think I’m sick of eating
try my best to keep it off the floor
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
sick when anything goes in my mouth
I think my hair is thinning
try to my best to catch it 
but it’s falling out of my head

[Verse 1]
Nails rip off like paper thin
Not enough yet I can’t win
Tears so quick right through the skin
Not enough yet I can’t win

I was weak today
I need some way to punish me
I can’t eat today
Each inch of flesh disgusting me 

[Hook]
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
I don’t wanna be him anymore
think I’m sick of breathing
think I’m sick of eating
try my best to keep it off the floor
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
sick when anything goes in my mouth
I think my hair is thinning
try to my best to catch it 
but it’s falling out of my head

[Verse 2]
No it’s nothing, I’m so tired
Tie me down until I’m lighter
I have to be strong enough
Handle this I have to fight it

Grab right onto my seams
And pull myself apart
The less of me there is
The more of me is art

[Hook]
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
I don’t wanna be him anymore
think I’m sick of breathing
think I’m sick of eating
try my best to keep it off the floor
sick of what I’m seeing
sick of what I’m feeling
sick when anything goes in my mouth
I think my hair is thinning
try to my best to catch it 
but it’s falling out of my head

recovery bangs

this is a song about losing control

[Intro]
my chest’s too tight to sleep in
start to sweat when the light creeps in
bolt the windows, the day still seeps in
nightfall, it all starts again
wash my face off, keep from the mirror
I don’t want to see something evil
I’m so tired that sleep can’t take me
Please just shut the door you might wake me

[Verse 1]
Red bands hidden all around my body
Bleeding everywhere, moving like a zombie
Nauseous, ghosts drip down my chin and haunt me
I can’t move at all, all your freedom feels like taunting
Dry heaving, I haven’t eaten
I’ve been edging death, I’ve been teasing
Can’t stop bleeding, I’ve been reaching
I’m dead living, transfixed by the ceiling

[Hook]
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am, it’s 4am)
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am, it’s 4am)

[Verse 2]
Body is stuck in place
My heart won’t stop racing
So still I’m panicking
Sweating I’m vanishing
Can’t move my body
My brain works at ten speed
I try hard to calm it
But each thought blurs into me
Turn on the bathroom sink
My face is fracturing
Clock face looks back at me
I hear him laughing
Hours keep passing away 
Stare at the night turn to day

[Hook]
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am)
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am)
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am, it’s 4am)
I stayed up late to watch the sun rise
(It’s 4am, it’s 4am)

sleep in

this is a song about family

woke up with your hands around my throat
spitting out the blood from the night before
what did you do to me when I was sleeping?
what did you do to me when I was sleeping?
I woke up with something in my throat
Coughing something up from the night before
closing my eyes and pretend I’m still sleeping
closing my eyes and pretend I’m still sleeping

old men think that puberty is sexy
I feel sick with you standing next to me
mommy hurry up and take the picture
in my bedroom the smell still lingers
I don’t come out of my room to talk anymore
I start to shake when you’re banging on my door
When I wear my dress am I pretty?
When I wear my dress are you horny?

woke up with your hands around my throat
spitting out the blood from the night before
what did you do to me when I was sleeping?
what did you do to me when I was sleeping?
I woke up with something in my throat
Coughing something up from the night before
closing my eyes and pretend I’m still sleeping

the boy you raised as your son
grows into something you’re scared you’d love
it doesn’t matter when you leave me
nobody believes me
hanging from a dead tree waiting to be plucked
rip apart the flesh, lap up all the blood 
it doesn’t matter when you leave me
nobody believes me
Does it make you angry?
Do you think that it’s sexy?
Does it make you angry?
Do you think that it’s sexy?
Does it make you angry?
Do you think that it’s sexy?
Does it make you angry?
Do you think that it’s sexy?

i don't feel safe here

this is a song about family

[Verse 1]
Isn’t it funny? You got what you wanted
But you wouldn’t take it when it came true
I was so disappointing, you had prayed for a girl
You were stuck with a failure, if only you knew

I still remember you held me in your lap at the piano
I wished I could be like you, I could play all the right notes
Take my hands under yours and guide them over and back
We had one or two good times, I can’t seem to forget that 

[Pre Chorus]
You can’t talk talk your son but you won’t speak to your daughter
Try as hard as I have, I can’t be him any longer
So I’ll stay in here quiet where no one has to see me
If I told you the truth I know you’d never believe me

No one would want a son that grows up to dress in drag
Nobody wants to raise a son that turns out a fag

[Chorus]
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted

[Verse 2]
I still want you to love me, I still want to forgive
But you don’t really love me if you only love him
And I still want a mom, but I keep biting my tongue
Because you don’t really want me, you just want your son

And I’d forget that you said I was a rapist
I’d forget all the things you said right to my face
And I’d forgive every time that you called me a monster
We can go back to normal if I’d be your daughter

[Pre Chorus]
You can’t talk talk your son but you won’t speak to your daughter
Try as hard as I have, I can’t be him any longer
So I’ll stay in here quiet where no one has to see me
If I told you the truth I know you’d never believe me

No one would want a son that grows up to dress in drag
Nobody wants to raise a son that turned out a fag

[Chorus]
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted

[Verse 3]
I felt so happy I could be what you want
After you put me away, to rot alone in a box
and then you met me with anger, what did I even do?
I wish that someone was proud of me for all I’ve been through

[Chorus]
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted
I’m sorry that I’m not what you wanted

dissapointing

this is a song about being somewhere else

[Hook]
I’ve been floating, dreaming in the garden
I’ve been off him, dreaming in the garden
I been zoning yeah, next to nothing
I’ve been off him, dreaming in the garden
I’ve been floating, dreaming in the garden
I’ve been off him, dreaming in the garden
I been zoning yeah, next to nothing
I’ve been off him, dreaming in the garden

[Verse 1]
Someone pick me up cause I’m falling
Bad emotions, no names to call them
I zoned out who’s talking?
I think I’m missing something

I’m not really here right now
Float back up before I come back down
Hide all day up inside the clouds 
If I’m lucky my feet never touch the ground

Feels so warm from my head to my toes
When you pick me up don’t ever let go
When your arms dissolve it’s squeezing throat
I need you back my body’s so cold

Look at the mirror and it’s fractured
My body’s too weak for action

[Hook]

chao garden

this is a song about wanting to be somewhere else

you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close

if it’s not my choice then would I be less guilty?
(if it’s not my choice then would I be less guilty?)
if it’s for someone else then could I do it guilt free?
(if it’s for someone else then could I do it guilt free?)
I’ve seen the things they do to boys like me
I’ve seen the things they do to girls like me
is it normal if I start crying
when my legs start growing in
is it moral if I keep lying
when you ask my future plans
my persona’s going nicely
I don’t think they’ve caught me yet
they’d do worse than bruise my body
if they knew what’s in my head

you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close
you can never let them know
but you can maybe let them close

How long can you keep pretending?
(It gets so hard to put on that face)
You get so tired from acting
(It hurts so bad to keep up that face)
How long can you keep pretending?
(It gets so hard to put on that face)
You get so tired from acting
(It hurts so bad to keep up that face)

I keep forgetting my lines
(I keep forgetting my lines)
I keep forgetting my lines
(I keep forgetting my lines)
I keep forgetting my lines
(I keep forgetting my lines)
I keep forgetting my lines
(I keep forgetting my lines)

soft boys with strange fantasies

this is a song about escape

[Verse 1]
Isn’t it odd?
You can’t get the feeling out of your guts
And isn’t it fun?
As if you were poison to the touch
Their clothes don’t fit right, you tug at the hemline
Until you start tearing at the seams
Get out of the sunlight, it burns when it’s so bright
It’s so much harsher than it seems

[Pre-Chorus]
If you can make it through the night
At least you’ll be free inside your mind
But where do you go when morning light
Creeps through your window?
It’s still there for you

[Verse 2]
Isn’t it odd?
When you leave your bedroom it stirs your guts
So why do you run?
You’re starting to use it as a crutch
You’d rather be somewhere else where you don’t have to feel
How you take up space and the thoughts you conceal
You’ve up for days at the soft warm glow
They can’t touch you here they don’t have to know

[Pre-Chorus]
If you can make it through the night
At least you’ll be free inside your mind
But where do you go when morning light
Creeps through your window?
It’s still there for you

[Bridge]
I don’t understand
I don’t understand what reality is
You can’t bridge the gap between your own truth and the reality of others
I don’t know how to find happiness
So you only find happiness in your dreams
Then, this is not reality? This world where no one exists?
No, it is only a dream
Then I don’t exist here either
This convenient fabrication is your attempt to change reality 
Is that wrong?
You were using fantasy to escape reality
Why can’t I dream that I’m alone?
That is not a dream, that is a substitute for reality

[Pre-Chorus]
If you can make it through the night
At least you’ll be free inside your mind
But where do you go when morning light
Creeps through your window?
It’s still there for you

kissanime

this is a song about wanting things to end

Cold hands
Warm breath
Blood rush
None left
Cold air
Eyes red
Warm blood
Nothing left

Haven’t left the house in days
Mind is static, sleep depraved
Something wrong I can’t explain
Something’s getting in the way
All these years it stayed the same
I’m running out of friends to blame
Years of bodily decay
Takes it’s toll upon my brain
It’s late and I can’t seem to sleep
Passing out I never dream
Somethings telling me to leave
In the night I have to leave
Finally I’m active now
Final act I take a bow
Curtains closing on my chest
Finally a chance to rest
Press the gas, ignore the brakes
Yield control it’s far too late
Close my eyes and still my breath
Speeding to my final fate
Say goodbye to no one here
None around to shed a tear
Head to toe it starts to shake
Hovering above the brakes

But I’m still alive

crashingcars (prologue)

it’s still in my mind but it’s all in my head
I’m wasting my life but I’m better off dead 
I wasted my life I don’t know what you said
blurry eyesight I don’t have the right meds
you’re thinking too much I’ll be fine in the end
I don’t wanna get out when I sleep in your bed
I really don’t mind, I’m just keeping you fed
I’m thinking too much I don’t wanna fuck up I know 

there’s no one in the world like you
I don’t deserve the things you do
I couldn’t bear to see it through
the debt’s too great to pay my dues
there’s no one in the world like you
I can’t compete with all you do
there’s no one in the world like you to me
there’s no one in the world like you to me

I can’t breathe right you’re making me anxious
I can’t think straight reading off a blank disc
it gets real bad, swimming in the deep dark
i got real down till it put me in the ER
I got too geeked eyes like a cartoon
I don’t know where my heart goes I don’t choose
need to flush my soul clean like a vacuum
don’t worry promise I’ll be back soon

butterflies in my tummy till I throw up
I get so scared when I don’t know where you’ve gone
I get so worried when I wake up all alone
I guess love makes you sick when you find the the right one
need to flush my soul clean like a vacuum
don’t worry promise I’ll be back soon
I’ll be back soon, I’ll be back soon
I’ll be back soon, swear that I’ll be back soon

it’s still in my mind but it’s all in my head
I’m wasting my life but I’m better off dead 
I wasted my life I don’t know what you said
blurry eyesight I don’t have the right meds
I really don’t mind, I’m just keeping you fed
you’re thinking too much I’ll be fine in the end
I don’t wanna get out when I sleep in your bed
I’m thinking too much I don’t wanna fuck up I know 

there’s no one in the world like you
I don’t deserve the things you do
I couldn’t bear to see it through
the debt’s too great to pay my dues
there’s no one in the world like you
I can’t compete with all you do
there’s no one in the world like you to me
there’s no one in the world like you to me

no1 like u (for a love lost)

destroy myself in effigy
failed exercise in purity
rockabye go back to sleep
why are you always in my dreams?
you cut me down like falling leaves
you know it means so much to me
rockabye your little sweet
you’ll always find me in my dreams

burntatthestake

I keep staring at the walls
Cross my eyes and make it dance
I can’t even feel the blood
When it’s dripping to my hands
Take a pill to make me numb
I won’t ever hurt again
Can’t get close to anyone
Like there’s scissors for my hands

SCISSORHANDZZ

[refrain]
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound

[verse 1]
bad days my spine unwinding
all grey no sunlight shining
waste away my body unraveling
long stay in the grave no traveling
I’m the shadow lingering behind the trees
arms stretch out for miles stand next to me
spread thin soon they scrape away whatever’s left
my birth is sin, live in sin until my final breath
pull the threads out, tug until there’s nothing left
withering, wicker man, windswept
eyes cross, fading light, tighten up the chest
broken body drain the soul like an abscess 

[refrain]
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound

[verse 2]
I hear my name ringing out when I’m all alone
corner of my eye see a figure out the window
eyes focus I see nothing but the bitter cold
I can feel the muscle slowly dripping off my brittle bones
god’s light won’t shine upon me
cast me out, take me back to the old growth trees
white birch engulfs the horizon
pale abyss, infinite like it’s blinding 
stare a thousand miles out at monochrome sea
pull the shackle off, the bruise is still a part of me
settle in the dirt, starting my eternity
give in to apathy, succumbing atrophy

[refrain]
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound

[outro]
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking pound after pound
hearing my name, going insane
smoking-smoking after pound

wither into nothing

mother,
tell your children not to walk my way
tell your children not to hear my words
what they mean, what they say,
mother

mother,
can you keep them in the dark for life
can you hide them from the waiting world
oh, mother

not about to see your light
but if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like
‘till you’re bleeding
not about to see your light
and if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like

mother,
tell your children not to hold my hand
tell your children not to understand
oh, mother

father,
do you wanna bang heads with me
do you wanna feel anything
oh, father

not about to see your light
but if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like
‘till you’re bleeding
not about to see your light
and if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like

not about to see your light
but if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like
‘till you’re bleeding
not about to see your light
and if you wanna find hell with me
I can show you what it’s like

mother

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

Halloween, Halloween

HLLWN

razor blade angel
soundwave alchemist
flash player artifact
all tracks prod by me unless otherwise specified
nusagiofficial@gmail.com

dj nusagi

Popular tracks