"ashes" originally made 2-22-21

im over my fears

I'm gonna start this very simple and with absolute truth - im not a pedophile. I barely knew the person who called me out, I didn't even know their name, I had no interest in pictures, no interest in finding out who they were irl, the conversations were short and I forgot about them barely a year later, like most conversations I had at that time with strangers. the second time around they reached out, I didn't even remember they were the same person let alone how old they were. the biggest mistake I made was putting myself in a space and community where there was no age control or consideration of anybody's background on a daily basis. i was maybe a year right out of high school, I am not perfect.

I've spent almost every week of the last year attending behavioral therapy, pushing myself through some very dark spaces addressing my own past traumas. I refuse to spill every detail about my life and childhood, but the biggest thing I've learned is that I'm not a self hating monster who purposefully seeks out hurting children. I refuse to be that image people think I am, I've worked so fucking hard this last year to figure myself out and I have no regrets about where I am now mentally. I made mistakes, I addressed them, I'm very proud of how far I've come. I don't care if anyone believes me or forgives me or whatever! have your own mindset, thats perfectly great. I think being tossed out of the communities I had been involved in like trash was infinitely for the better, looking back at how fucking nasty and awful some of those people are. I'm glad I didn't hurt myself and to be honest, I never will and it only gets better from here.

I'm not a monster, I'm going to continue making what I love, and I'll keep working to be a better person despite the ashes in my past. I probably won't continue omnipony other than small tidbits, but for those that know my truth, I'm happy to have you along the journey

god bless✌️

ashes 3.1

Type of Instrumental Music from Africa I made up :) © Shanty-chan (aka Heylilvelvet)

African Music

My Secret Song

A recording of Fulltone (Live) at Sandbox 2017.
Enjoy!

Fulltone (Live) //  Sandbox 2017

://RED_DOT "KILLER_BEE" [RED_DOT_001]

As large as a steppe horse, but bulkier by far, padding with heads lowered into the flagstoned square. There was something about them that resembled a hyenea, and a plains bear as well. A certain sly avidness merged with arrogant brutality.

http://www.beatport.com/artist/overall-triple/252757

://RED_DOT "KILLER_BEE" [RED_DOT_001]

Nylgath

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