Grave Moss Demo

HOLeY CLassICS VI

Cussy's Christmas Carols - Fungal Freakout Fir

Recording Noise

Recorded with my buddy Rick, he played around with main guitar melody and I went from there. 

This song was never finished. I don't even remember what we tuned to.

Song For a Friend (2014)

Töürd Böürglar - I Am Lifting Weights

This is the third song I ever wrote, at age 13 or so. It has not changed since I wrote it. I've never felt a need to tweak it. I found an mp3 of the drums to this song from 2005 or so - no click, obviously, just one microphone sitting in my basement doing the best we could - so I decided to re-record it as a way of trying out a bunch of the Neural DSP "Archetypes." These are all just factory presets on the Nolly and Parallax. No mixing obviously. Just having fun. I believe this is also the first time I have ever written or played a guitar solo. This was off the top of my head. Not bad for a bass player.

Old Faithful (2020 update of song from 2002)

In 1998, the home studio of Bjørnar "Frostmourne" Guntarsson, frontman and lead guitarist of Swedish black metal stalwarts Impregnated Goblin was destroyed in a tragic electrical accident. Guntarsson himself was killed trying to save his rare guitars from the blaze. Drummer Sven "Icecrown" Nordviken was injured, but survived and maintains control over the band's catalog.

This song, "Safety Match," was to be the lead single from their sophomore album "Made in Sweden" on Blöödcum Records. Sadly, this was the only tape that could be recovered from the fire. A chilling ode to grilling, campfires, and fire safety, no song better captures the grim, frostbitten terror instilled into all of Impregnated Goblin's fans around the world.

---

in the woods
we will hunt
not the stag
but the runt
me and sven
eat the kill
grab the antlers
i'll start the grill
i lack the torch
that makes the flame
we eat the catch
in odin's name

safety match
safety match
it's waterproof
and windproof
and safe to use at home

first you get your chimney
then you get your coals
fill it with newspaper
put them in the hole
then you strike your safety match
away from your face
soon you'll have a fire started
in your fireplace
you can keep your house warm
you can cook your food
you can do whatever you need
it's a safety match for you

oh

safety match

Impregnated Goblin - "Safety Match"

I set out to write a really chaotic, dissonant hardcore song and my hands started it with this.

Yeehaw, It's The Big Howdy

LYRICS:
I've been hunting for cryptids for all my life
I was hunting for cryptids on Christmas Night
One came down the chimney, to my surprise
Santa Claus was fucking my wife

CUCKED BY CRYPTIDS... UGH!!!

He fucked me too, on Christmas Day
We had a threesome with Santa, it wasn't gay
I gargled his balls, until he came
He nutted milk and cookies all over my face  

Santa Claus married my wife
Mrs Claus, too, she lays the pipe
A Christmas Polycule for you and me
Ten gallons of cum under the tree

Have you ever been cucked by cryptids?    
Have you ever been cucked by cryptids?    
Have you ever been cucked by cryptids?

***
Vocals, Guitar, Bass, Lyrics, everything except the obviously sampled sleigh bells and Santa at the end of the breakdown by me.
Drums by "John Page Contraband" from YouTube.

Obese Chess

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