HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER

Lyrics:

i used to decorate my bruises 
glitter smearing all over my bad ideas
with strawberry gloss and smokey puffs
turns out wanting freedom kept me cuffed
glitter smearing all over my bad ideas

they called me sugar, they called me sweet
but never asked what’s underneath
killed my confidence, then called me friend
isn’t that how monsters are made?

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

i lit a candle in their coffins
just to see if their ghosts would dance
they went crazy, like all my ex-girlfriends
then vanished when i took a stance

i stitched my mouth with safety pins
to keep all my monsters within 
but damn i look so pretty when i bite
and smile with cyanide

i buried her
the girl who glowed
under pink skies and clouds of smoke
now all that’s left
is teeth and thread—
a myth reborn
from all she bled

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

dead fairies in my room
dead fairies in my house, (they can’t fly)
guess if you want to love, you have to be willing to die

i used to be so nice, 
but everyone took advantage
made a joke out of me
now i'm the one bursting into laughter (hahaha)

everyone i ever  loved 
slowly pulled me apart 
now fairies are dying inside of me
like a pixie plague of dust

isn’t this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without all this pain

isn't this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without pain

isn't this how monsters are made? 
i don’t know who i am without pain

DEAD FAIRIES (Demo)

Lyrics:

 i think i was born different 
a little magical, a little rare
 like while people star-gazed
 i saw worlds in my head
it felt lonely 
that no one could understand

 i’ve never been able to be  fully here 
because half of me died  before i was ten
 i’ve never known  a life without grief 
but i promised myself  i would create something out of it
 and despite the downfalls
 i followed those dreams 

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

i was too young  to know betrayal  
the way i did 
some days i wish  i just got 
to be a kid
so i think it’s time  to return to her  
and seek out justice for all the times
 everyone pretended  they didn’t notice
i was getting hurt

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

no one loved me hard enough
 for me to believe it 
i became an orchestra of longing
to be found— except no one ever did

so i tucked my thoughts  so deep within 
i woke up one day  and i was out of reach
it was different once i turned sixteen
and my wounds became  
displayed on my skin

the emptiness  echoed so loud 
that i fell in love  with designing sounds
 but a part of me  is still there  by the door  
waiting for someone 
to come home 

i murmur spells 
while the world sleeps
 i still got magic
growing inside of me

i murmur spells 
while the world sleeps
 i still got magic
growing inside of me

GRIMOIRE (Demo)

Lyrics:

my blood is cold, 
my mind is bright 
i’m a runway-walking
 warning sign

rocking my black dress,
 hell’s bells chime 
revenge tastes like power — 
now i’m beautifully malign

 i used to cry myself to sleep 
now i lick blood off knives 
(like it’s cherry lip gloss )

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

 i sleep during the day
 and haunt men when it’s dark 
 feral wolf 
i’m more than just a bark
(mary jane laced with violet flames)

 i’m no longer that girl you contained
 sexualized and vandalized
 i’m the ending you deserved

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

 tell me, how does it feel
 to have your fate in someone else’s hands? 
your dignity distilled
into venomous wine 
you made a monster 
isn’t she great?

 tell me, how does it feel
to press on your buttons 
 and collect poison in packs
 you covered me in wounds,
 but i eat my enemies like snacks

 i look so pretty when i bite 
i kissed God then left him behind 
your prayers won’t reach my high 
my female rage is undressed
 the whole earth shakes in fright 
tell me how does it feel to be
 deeply horrified?

(i look so pretty when i bite 
 strutted deadly through the night
i look so pretty when i bite)

HOW TO MAKE A MONSTER

ØCTØBER