This song is a story based on my  anxiety towards my inability to dance. When I was in my very first ensemble I was given choreography and was thrown into learning it without much notice. This was a great experience looking back but at the time my anxiety didn’t think much of it. I began to have regular panic attacks in class and quickly started to feel defeated because everyone else was catching on in much less time than I. 

This time in my life taught me a few things. The first is that anxiety is not something to be embarrassed about, it makes us stronger- not weaker. The second is that reaching out for help does not give people the impression that you are seeking attention but rather that you are actually seeking exactly that- help. The final thing I learned from this experience (and perhaps the most important) is that having patience with myself will help me to accomplish much more than I ever dreamed. This story doesn’t end with me changing my major to dance or even having gained any rhythm whatsoever but there is one thing that I gained: confidence. Shout out to women’s ensemble and everyone else who has ever let me cry without judgement while fumbling over my own feet, you are my heroes.

Take A Seat

Howling at the Moon

This is a song originally addressed to my grandmother when she told me to “get used to sitting in an office” because that type of job was inevitable for me as a *practical* young woman. While she isn’t the only one guilty of putting me down for my career choice, she was the one who sparked the inspiration for these lyrics. Before this, I hadn’t written anything remotely upbeat so if I have anyone to thank for that breakthrough- I suppose it’s my grandmother. (THANKS GRANDMA!)

If you want to settle down with children- do it, if you want to be a rockstar- do it, if you want to travel the world- do it, if you want to create something- create it. Everything we see was once an idea in someone else’s mind, because of this I know that we can create our own realities and live by our own rules in our own time. So take this song as a little piece of encouragement with a tiny slice of rebellion and go ahead -Rule the World- I know you can do it.

Rule The World

Rule the World

This song is very personal to me for a lot of reasons. A very good friend of mine has been in an abusive relationship for quite a long time and I had to learn the hard way that there is nothing I can do to save them. No words, no silence, no text, no song can ever break the bond that keeps the cycle going. A person must take the initiative to change within and it is no one else’s responsibility to exhaust their own emotional energy to initiate that change. Love is strong, but sometimes fear is stronger. The only thing we can do to combat that imbalance is to love with all of our hearts in hopes that fear will one day step aside and make room for change. Love others always but don’t forget to love yourself through it all.

Next In Line

This is a very special song that I wrote for a very special friend of mine. In high school I became close friends with Janina who was a foreign exchange student from Germany. We bonded almost instantly because of our mutual love of music and food (obviously).  When I found out that her sister Jessica was having a baby, I wanted to give her a gift. I wrote her a little lullaby packed with all of the life advice I thought she might need and named it after her. I hope that Amelie will remember this song when she finds herself in an unfavorable situation or doesn’t know where to turn. That goes for you all, I hope this brings you joy.

Amelie

This song is an exploration of how easily someone can be called into the world of drug use by peer pressure or even through some part of themselves that is continuously dissatisfied. Drug use and addiction often result in being demonized by others because it is seen as a moral failure rather than a mental health crisis. When one is demonized by their own society they tend to continue in the cycle of addiction because that is where their community lies, they have become that and it has become them. This is a devastating cycle that often doesn’t end well, but what if it could? Let’s take some time to give a little grace to the people in our world who haven’t yet been able to conquer this disease and instead of giving them our judgements, let’s lend them a hand.

odeasmusic