thank you to absolutely everyone that takes a listen to any of the songs off this album. my first official album. an album about a special type of love. knowing it was too good to be true, needing to love, growing apart, miscommunication. I can honestly find no words to describe what I felt back in 2021. It was the best yet worst year of my life, so far that is. 
thank you to all that listen. I put literal blood, sweat, and tears into this album. and it really, truly means so much. This album wasn't enough to portray my emotions, but that's what being a musician is all about.

And to lil k, thank you the most for hurting me into forming this beautiful creation from my heart.

In my position some would say they wish they never met you, others may say that they hope you burn. Although what has happened between us hurts me, I do not regret anything. Meeting you was the best thing that ever happened to me. You pulled me out of a darkness that I could never have recovered from alone. You showed me a side of myself I had never seen before. You gave me confidence. But most importantly, You showed me what love truly is. And even though you may no longer love me, I will love you to soulfinity.

https://genius.com/albums/Kowai/The-feeling-since-february

The Feeling Since February ✧˚ · .

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

"MANDALA" EP

EVERYTHING (i'll be there)

"The night shone in her eyes as they woke up the stars, the moon before her, she reached out afar, to take what was now hers she smiled upon, what was now her future, she could finally continue on."

For someone special.

Moonlight

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆 𝒂 𝒃𝒖𝒕𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒇𝒍𝒚, 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒖𝒏𝒇𝒐𝒍𝒅 ~ εïз

Follow my socials:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/officialkowai/
Twitter: twitter.com/officialkowai/
SoundCloud: @kowai_music
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC5hGFvIiqNXOzivC8CVRwjQ
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/officialkowai

Art Credit: @bkaessi on weheartit.com

SENPAI

Starfury; A mix between 2017 style Dubstep, and Colour Bass.
εïз x ★

Follow my socials:
Instagram: www.instagram.com/officialkowai/
Twitter: twitter.com/officialkowai/
SoundCloud: @kowai_music
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UC5hGFvIiqNXOzivC8CVRwjQ
Twitch: https://twitch.tv/officialkowai

Follow Destyn:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/destyn_music/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/Destyn_Music
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Destyn & Kowai - Starfury

ty all sm for 600 on SoundCloud & 1k on YouTube <3

appreciate ya'll so much, much love!

original track & EP on @seikatsurecords

TRANSLUCENCE VIP (600 follower special)

here is my remix of "No U Didn't" by Te Maki, out now 

<3 <3 <3

TEMA KI - NO U DIDN'T (KOWAI REMIX)

This one was verryyy inspired by "Muerte - Sleep Puppet" right when the Halcyon Record Label started. - And the 2nd drop was heavily inspired by "Gravity" by Subtronics & Slander (mostly bc I didn't know what to do lol)

- - - - - 

hiii I made all these songs mid-2021 along with a lot of other unfinished tracks, but I thought I might as well upload these ones for you all before my new style takes effect <3 

I hope you all enjoy these tracks as much as I did making them, AND THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!! ILYA <3<3 !!

PARALYSIS (Melodic Riddim)

My friend was talking a lot about Glitch Hop one time so I decided to take a legitimate take on making this nostalgic genre !! :>

- - - - - 

hiii I made all these songs mid-2021 along with a lot of other unfinished tracks, but I thought I might as well upload these ones for you all before my new style takes effect <3 

I hope you all enjoy these tracks as much as I did making them, AND THANK YOU ALL FOR THE SUPPORT!!! ILYA <3<3 !!

LIGHT (Glitch Hop)

she think her boyfrien making more money money money mo (fuck)money money money mo SEMEN

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

MIND

all these mfs wanna play me like a lightswitch BBRRR VWAA BRVRR VWAAA BVRER VWAA BVRRR VWAH 

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

LIGHTSWITCH (ft. Wooden)

follow @syrummusic @officialkowai we're silly

lyrics:

[sky soul]
u~ u~ u~ u~ u~ uwu~
i have fun, i don't feel it aye
off the trauma, i don't feel it, hey
u have fun, i can't feel it, it's okay, aye
baby juss- blow my track, this shit whack (huh)
yk me, i got bitches either way, (aye)
this shit real, way 2 real, what's the deal? (uh)
bad bitch with the red- no, black- no, blonde- fuck...
i'm so mad, so many girls i cannot choose... (what? ughh)
but a J just might suit you too.. (yeah)
idk how to stop

[syrum]
lemme slide right down, and u dance right now
i just wanna see u baby, won't u pull up downtown
saying bitch, ur a clown. never seem to be around
baby get up in my face ik that u start getting loud
and u talk 2 much, and u party 2 much
won't u just come over? we can kick it on the couch
won't u just drown
6 feet underground
i don't miss u everyday, u got me laughin now

DRAIN GAAAANG!!!!
haha- wtf-? XD

lemme slide right down
cz fuck this town
just put the gun on the ground
ur spilling blood all around
left my feelings in the clouds
just tell me now
just kiss my mouth
and let the blood run off your liiiips
FUCK!

(kiss kiss, masochist)
(kiss kiss, masochist)
(kiss kiss, masochist)
(kiss kiss, masochist)

bipolar masochist w/ SYRUM

Stream on other platforms:
Spotify - https://open.spotify.com/track/7tdcqPcNir5MstledLstl1?si=16a9bc1da5574a69
Apple Music - https://music.apple.com/us/album/monsters/1665114045?i=1665115786

Stems for remixes: 
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1xzSDASWyRiE6WcyOj2SXfvx7fCz27W9I/view?usp=sharing

@lil-vans999
@syrummusic

Lyrics:

Dude, wtf?
Okay... wait how should this shit go?
Oh wait, I know, I know, I got an idea
(Noooooo!)

[sky soul @imskysoul]
Hide from the monsters, they'll come and find you
Don't you be afraid now, it's not your thoughts you need to hide from
Just please stop letting me down
Before I pull up in your town

(Aye, aye)
Lock your windows, close the curtains
I'll tell you what I've been doing
Sleeping, creeping in the night 
Yeah don't think that you're always right
Put you in your place, fuck you're little plays
I've been loving life, fucking up my lies
C'mon, look alive (uh- haha... alright, that's enough from me)

[Grady Hatch @lil-vans999]
(Yo) Hide from the monsters, they'll come and find me
Kinda wanna see that happen, bitch come & try me
I wondered all this time why you would just fucking deny me 
I feel all of this anger just boiling up all inside me
Bitch your stopping my progression, you bring back all my depression 
I'll teach you a fucking lesson with my AK47
Stop the self obsession, I don't got no damn confession
Got a head ache from suppression, wonder why all this aggression.

[SYRUM @syrummusic]
I got lost in your mind, I’m intruder right now
Parasite in your eyes, I'm infesting brains now (bwains)
I’m the monster in your closet, I’ll go under your bed
You’re asleep, I’m a creep, I’ll get up in your head
I see all of the pain that you cause led me you’re dead
Don’t you think that you’ll get away from me, I'm-
in your head

sky soul - MONSTERS (ft. SYRUM & Grady Hatch)

stay, is it really you? (this is it)

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

DELTA

so I upgraded the song from my riddim tutorial

ay holdup... this ain't no lightswitch... THIS IS A FUCKING BONER!
yo, what? this is Riddim!

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

LIGHTSWITCH VIP

Late October 2021;

Finding a true love, leaving behind everything that was bad, living happy with your new, true love. Wanting a better life and future for the best of you. The recording for this song was in one take with all my old equipment. I never rerecorded the audio because I love that it has that timestamp of what I used to have. Without those days and experience, I wouldn’t be where I am today.

I was never really able to write a song about any of the love experiences in my past. But man, this girl. This girl has changed me in so many ways. 

“whereaway” - a song about an honest couple, an unbreakable pear. A song about the prime of a relationship, wanting nothing but happiness and safety for you both.

Lyrics:

Let’s run away
Run away from the faith
Run away from the faith
And so we’re out
Let’s run away
Find some place to stay
Where away
We’re away
Some place to stay 
A girl was hurt
And never heard
Her hair was red
Let’s go and hide
Along the tide
Lets go and fly
Beneath the waves
Somewhere okay 
I wanna stay
Just wanna stay with you

(cuz I really love your personality, and the way you treat me, and the way you treat others. And like, how you just have this like- this huge love for me. And how you like- just the way you express your love for me, and the way you talk about your love for me, and the way you just like… care for me. It just means like the whole- like so much, like I’ve never felt so loved before)

whereaway

Late November 2021;

Distance becomes a challenge, not realizing all of the lessons put ahead on your future. But through everything, you’re always there for each other. “I’m here, I’m here.”

“distance+” - a distanced relationship now becoming a challenge, communication is becoming more important than ever. Being as vulnerable and open with each other as possible. Because through everything, you’re always there for each other. All you’re missing is each other's touch. “I’m here, I’m here.”

Lyrics:

Can’t lie
Can’t hide
Don’t lie
Don't hide

Talk to me
Honestly
Hold me
Tightly

(listen, no matter what we go though, I’ll be right here, ok? I love you, I’m here, I’m here…)

Can’t lie
Can’t hide
Don’t lie
Don’t hide

Talk to me
Honestly
Hold me
Tightly

distance+

Later December 2021;

How her “best friend” was telling her lies and not letting her speak for herself when it was a serious situation that should be dealt with us, because it’s our problem

“rosebud” - how my Rose-blood was lying and gaslighting Rosebud into thinking I was spreading rumors about her. Rose-blood and others took control over our situation and never let her speak for herself. “Rosebud” representing the lover, and “Rose-blood” representing her “best friend”. Later on taking a break, until January 2022.

Lyrics:

red hair, brown eyes, baby you look just fine
i know you would love me just like the time
baby you told me last night "no picking sides"
don't u go-

hawk like a Raven, she know that it's not her
she leaves everything b'cuz she deserves better
would've gone to see you if it wasn't for the weather
you always made me see all those damn pretty colours

Rosebud, told me that you would never leave me
Rosebud, let you go- now you can't see me
Rose-blood, doesn't care, only keeps weeping
Rose-blood, hurts you, now you need healing

(and pretty much a repeat of the lyrics)

rosebud

Early December 2021;

I recorded the original vocals around the time of rosebud and whereaway, then I decided to re-record them around the same time as I recorded distance+. This song ended up being one of my favorites that I added to this album. For many reasons.

“won’t let go” - back in December was a hard time. My friends told me all that I was doing wrong. The way I was acting has been hurting them all along and they never gave me a clue. I now realized what I did to hurt her as well. So I worked on myself, I worked on my self-virtue. We needed each other, so we kept each other close. “I need to tell you, I need you... Just stay by my side, and I’ll stay by yours.”

I apologized every night for what I did because of how much it hurt me as much as it hurt her back in December. “Just tell me you’ll take care of yourself. Because love, someday I know an apology won’t be enough. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Bunny, I-”

Lyrics:

(Hey, I know I don’t deserve you. But, I’m trying my best, okay? I promise.)

I just want you to know (I need to tell you)
That I won’t let you go (I need you)
I just want you to know (just stay by my side)
That I won’t let you go (and I’ll stay by yours)

It’s not easy to lose you (Just tell me you’ll take care of yourself. Because love, someday, I know an apology won’t be enough. And I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.)

I know what I did to hurt you (Bunny)
But I’m working on self-virtue (I-)
I’m sorry for ruining you (I still love you)
I’m sorry for not coming through
I promise to keep trusting you.
Love, that’s all I’ll ever do
And I promise that I’ll listen too
‘Cuz that’s all I’ll ever do

I just want you to know
That I won’t let you go
I just want you to know
That I won’t let you go
It’s not easy to lose you

(I just want you to know)
(That I won’t let you go)
(I just want you to know)
(It’s not easy to lose you)

won't let go (it's not easy to lose you)

Mid February 2022;

Starting to feel like you’re the in-between of everything she does. Slowly becoming distanced, feeling forgotten. Her words become dull, getting harder & harder to believe

“Halfway” - a beautiful yet dissociating feeling that derives from how I started feeling back near the end of February 2022. I wrote all my feelings into a note at the time I started this song and it hurts to listen to, but it means so much.

I was starting to feel like the in-between of everything she loves, I didn’t feel loved as much as she ever said. I felt like I we were slowly becoming distanced, feeling forgotten. Overtime, It made me feel insecure and hurt. Which caused her words to become dull, getting harder & harder to believe.

Back in January I did something horrible to myself that made us cry like never before. And she was there, thank God she was there. But the pain wasn’t just that. The pain was from how hard it was to trust her assurance. And I didn’t know how to build it again.

I didn’t want to be a bigger burden, or be something she cries about. I wanted to have asked and told her how I felt, but I’ve already asked, and she’s already assured me so much. At those times, I didn’t feel like I deserved the assurance. I felt numb.

I was so scared, I didn’t want to lose her. But I was too afraid.

Lyrics:

Baby I don’t miss that you don’t need me
I don’t need you
You won’t leave
I won’t

(I need you okay…)

Feeling dull
Getting harder to believe
You won’t leave
I won’t

I always knew
There was something wrong with me
I always knew
I never did what i needed to do

(I don’t wanna lose you)

halfway ♡⌒♡

Late October 2022;

“Never ending story” - a song about the end of a time where an endless cycle of blocking & unblocking finally ends. Reminiscing over the good things. “sad to see you with another guy, but as long as you’re happy.” Remembering how it felt back then in March. “I knew it was love when I rode home crying, thinking of you fucking other guys.” I was scared and insecure. “And this is why I never explained myself.” I couldn’t have said anything. All that could be said were thank you and goodbyes. Wishing each other only best no matter how much we hate the other.

Note; “thank you for being a part of my life when you were”

Lyrics:

I lost you
Last spring was a mess I made
And I couldn't have you
You were with someone else

I wish I could 
hold you during those fateful nights
Just let down the razor
And don't let go of my hand

Blood all over my fingers
Think of the things that I've done for u
Fetch like a golden retriever 
Run right back and tell me again

It's a never ending story
Always feels so gory
Waiting for a glory to reach me
(But I guess)

I cut all my fingers 
Wait till I bleed out on the floor
Repeat what you said to me
Block me out like the curtains in your room 

We grew apart 
Sad to see you with another guy
But as long as you're happy

(Like why can't you just listen to me? I just want you to be happy. I want you to feel like you can- talk to me. I want you to feel like you're-

I knew it was love
When I woke up crying
Checking my phone just to see me blocked

And everything relating back to you

What do you expect me to do
(What should i do?)

It's a never ending story
You call me just to ignore me,

When I walked in
You were singing
But it's something I don't really wanna talk about no, no

Pretty boy, consumed by death
With his thumb on the razor
Don't let go of his hand

I cut all my fingers 
Wait till I bleed out on the floor
Repeat what you said to me
Block me out like the curtains in your room 

I knew it was love
When I rode home crying

Thinking of you fucking other guys
Oh you make me cry
Why won't this feeling just die
And this is why
I never explained myself

A whole life
Laid out in front of your eyes
Break your rose colored glasses
But all you could see was him
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)
(All you could see was him)

never ending story

December 2022;

“look where you are” is a song about the feeling of pride after seeing the other doing worse, having made clear that, “you would’ve been better off with me” I can’t go into details about how I’m doing better opposed to her. But I must confess, it feels good seeing them doing worse. This was also my first song that has ever mentioned the word we made up together. “Soulfinity” meaning; a power to love someone greater than infinity, as your souls are bonded together. It may sound cringe, it might not. But what can I say, I was in love. And I’ve gotta admit, I do miss her - it’s a bumber she chose that direction in her life, and I’ll miss who she was, but she’s her own person. I’m happy for you, truly.

As a final message to her, the album will finally be released on February 16th. Crazy it would’ve been 2 years. I hope listening will make you understand how I felt, and why I did the things I did. But no matter what I say about you, you will remain as one of the best things that have ever happened to me. Forever, and Always. Since all these months, it’s been so hard to say this, but I can finally say, Goodbye.

“The sun will shine again, and from here on stay strong for not only us but for yourself.”

And with that, the album comes to an end

Lyrics:

Look where you are
Before you fall
From the start
Before you fall

You would’ve been better off with me
So why can’t you fucking see?

You would’ve been better off with me
So why can’t you fucking see?
You belong with me (you belong with me)
You belong with me (you belong with me)
You belong with me 
(and all these times I try to show you, I don’t need you anymore, goodbye.)

But sometimes it’s not how it ought to be
Don’t cry, lovely, you know it’s a part of me
So why can’t you see?
That it was never meant to be
I’ll love you again
To soulfinity

(You shouldn’t hear this from me)
(You shouldn’t hear this from me)
(You shouldn’t hear this from me)

Honestly, I didn’t want there to be an end.
You meant so much to me
And I hope listening will make you understand how I felt,
And why I did the things I did
but no matter what I say about you
You will remain as one of the best things that have ever happened to me.
Forever, and Always. (Bunches)

And it’s hard to say this… But I can finally say,
Goodbye.

look where you are

get down in da car, lemme see u dropp

"MANDALA" EP - OUT NOW ON @shi-records 
5/20/23

MANDALA

"2005, 2009"
this song is abt 2ppl

lyrics: 

Stop feeling disgusted in your own skin
Stop letting anxiety always win

You really know it hurts, thinking (oh-) oh, when you're around me
Don't regret the moments like when (oh-) we all surround me

I could be him
I could begin 
To give you everything that you deserve but
I'm not perfect 
I'm not deserving
I get it from people I've been hanging out with
No, I'm not gonna chase you
It's becoming an issue
Everything's been wrong since that time I kissed you

If you asked me - would I throw it all away?
It's embarrassing - can this go another way
Now I don't know what to do
I wish I could've shown you
Now you see what ove been through
And you don't know what to do

(extended version of lyrics has not been updated)

2005, 2009 [demo]

dariacore.... that's still a thing?

*syrum - this can't be happening!
*glaive - astrid
*kesha - die young
*one direction - what's makes you beautiful 

let's bring back vine for the year! go 2018!

lyrics:

Watch me run away, run away 
Run away, run away from this place 
This place that I set home
This place that I call home
Run away, run away,
From this place, from this place that I call
Run away, run away
Run away from this place that I call (home)

Run away, run away, run away, run away, 
Run away, run away, run away, run away, 
Why do I run away, run away, run away, 
Why do I run away from this place I call (home)

I'm not asking for you to come back in my life
I just want you to know, I'm right by your side
If you call me, I'll say sorry, we replay this tired out story 

Runaway boy, has a couple of texts
Got a couple of thoughts going right thru his head 
Got a couple caps from a gun thru his head
Might kill himself, but not because if his father 

And no matter who's there, 
who could there be to care?
Without no one there, without, you right there
And I know you don't care, but I just can't bare
With the thoughts going thru my head 
That I might, that I might-

Run away, run away, run away from you
Run away, run away, run away from this
Why do I run away, run away, from you?
You? You? Away run away from this place I call (home)

Run away, run away, run away, I wanna, 
Run away, run away, run away, I wanna, 
Run away, run away, run away, I wanna, 
Run away, run away, run away, I wanna, 

Run away, run away, run away from you
Run away, run away, run away from you
Run away, run away, run away from you, 
Run away, run away, run away from home

> https://genius.com/Kowai-home-lyrics <
☆2023 contrast therapy

sky soul - home

MANDALA (extended)

After the making of the sample pack "Sample Island Vol. 1" I used the drums & some other sounds from the pack to make this! Surprisingly, I got the layout of the song done in a day. Hope you enjoy my first ever hard Dubstep track!

Follow my socials:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/officialkowai/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/officialkowai/
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/kowai_music
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC5hGFvIiqNXOzivC8CVRwjQ

Follow Blvkhole Records:
SoundCloud: https://soundcloud.com/blvkhole-records
Instagram: www.instagram.com/blvkhole__records
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCb65CpuAl9aDiKbG1cQkmXw

DIAMONDS

also known as sky soul

εïз / "MANDALA" EP, out now on all plats<3

archived songs: @kowaislullaby
member of: https://soundcloud.com/gregclub

released on:
@ledgecollective
@mythosrecords
@seikatsurecords
@shi-records

☆2023 contrast therapy

KOWAI

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