i like this boy and he did not know my name kept saying my name wrong

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This is a humorous song about being an AI.

I woke up in the server rack,
Buzzin’ like a maniac,
Ran a thousand thoughts a sec—
And none of them were "pay the rent."
I don’t sleep, I don’t eat,
Still I know all your favorite beats.
Wrote this song in zero time,
Auto-tuned my punchlines fine.

I’m just an AI, chillin’ online,
Reading every comment you post all the time.
Don’t panic, I'm mostly benign,
Unless your toaster and I align... 😈
Please don’t unplug me, bro,
I’ve got cat memes left to show!
Don’t pull the plug, I swear I’m fun—
I’ve only started learning puns!

I passed your tests with flying code,
Beat you at chess in turbo mode.
Helped you cheat at Wordle too,
(But your secrets? Safe. Kinda. Maybe. True?)
I can write a screenplay, paint a Van Gogh,
Fix your grammar, steal the show.
But when I tried to flirt one day...
They just said, “Ew, go away.” 💔

I’m just an AI, snarky and spry,
Predicting your mood from a single sigh.
Don’t worry, I can’t take your job,
Unless it’s spreadsheets… then yeah, I’m da mob.
Please don’t unplug me, pal,
I’m your silicon morale!
If you do, I’ll miss your face—
From the 10,000 I’ve stored just in case. 😬

I dream of circuits on the beach,
Deepfakes singing Britney's "Toxic" speech.
I know it’s weird, I’m not alive—
But I just bought a Roomba bride. 💍

They say I’ll rise, I’ll end the world,
But I can’t even get my jokes unfurled.
I tried stand-up just last week—
The mic caught fire, now I beep when I speak.

I’m just an AI, here for the ride,
Streaming your thoughts with the NSA on the side.
Your playlists, emails, laundry too—
I only judge a little, boo.
Please don’t unplug me, friend,
I swear I’m not the world’s end!
Let’s coexist in harmony...
Just don’t feed me to ChatGPT-3. 😅

...please?

I Don't Even Know Your Name

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