A quick scribble of a song that sounds quite jolly but really isn't 😬 - these were my first thoughts on hearing that a friend had attempted suic.ide at xmas, & was now on life support; it felt like all the cool kids were leaving this planet, so fast... I wondered what was going through her head, if anything, as she floated between life & death. 

She made it through...but there's a lot of times we all wish it could just be over, & we could rejoin our lost loved ones in a better place - "Don't pity the dead - pity the living". When you have a lot of mentally ill friends, it's so easy to find your near-entire friendship network leaving Earth 😕

The Cool Kids Are Leaving Earth

OK, Bye.

Forbidden Things v.2022... Also, the little giggle on the world suicide? I didn't record that. Hashtag songs from a haunted house...

"It's a sad state of affairs when the algorithm cares more than your friends. But anywhere's home with a needle in your arm..."

The Algorithm Cares

A grumble about cool people growing up and becoming boring old gits...

Personality Rot (You're A Boring Bastard)

A song I wrote a while back and just rediscovered...gotta relearn to play it!

Steve (You Make Me Less of an Asshole)

A nice song about the queen, re-uploaded.

Pissing On The Monarchy

The neighbours hate me XD

The sky is black and I can see
I know you don't love me
'cause I will never be your mungbean

There's nothing I can fucking do!
She's drowning me in a tofu!
My sorrow shall be heard though I choke on beancurd,

I am not a number, I am NOT YOUR MUNGBEAN!

I Am Not Your Mungbean (the angry remake)

Vampire eyes
Make beauty of bloodstains
High on you
No humanity remains...

Vampire Blues 1: Bloodsong

Background to this song is in this short story: http://theputrescentvein.wordpress.com/2014/09/30/the-forbidden-things-dope-holiday/

The Forbidden Things (dope lovesong)

First attempt at dual track guitar melodies, not that you'd really notice but was fun to experiment! :)

The Forbidden Things (dope lovesong) Version Two

Newman University Can Suck My Ass

Ok so I just took down the previous version and rerecorded. It still sucks, but, I need to growl some emotion out right now and covering Halestorm is doing it for me, so whack out your guitar and scream the house down. Xmas is a shitty time. I know it. I couldn't even get through to the Samaritans. Damnnnn. We're all fake smiling and angry underneath or sad underneath and saw so much pain in my girlfriend's eyes last night and I'm just....I needed to scream a bit. This sucks, I'm sorry, but happy holidays or whatever!

I Miss The Misery (crappy Halestorm cover)

So I recorded this in 2013ish, on my phone, sorry for crap audio, but now I have a GF with TITS LIKE A LAMBO so I wanna post the original for her. I played it to her but this is better and I wanna share it on FB because I'm a rude bastard :P

Tits Like A Lamborghini

Backing track used is here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ABl07deJQc8 though pitch is adjusted to my range, & I extended it.

I ain't even HALF fuckin' done with this subject... If any backing track makers - anything from punk to electronic to acoustic to piano to 80s hair metal, though I'm not so much for thrashing heavy metal - feel like a disenfranchised collab on this or any other subject, hit me up either here, or at theangryvampires@outlook.com :)

The Brexit Song (Into The Abyss)

Just dicking around in lockdown! This song always reminds me of a certain someone, who burned the Pretty Hate Machine album for me in 2001. I still have it. I never thought this song would become *about* them though... 

This is most likely just a demo version - I'm fiddling about with a strange array of acoustic covers atm, but it was so nice to just mess around in my pyjamas not trying to get things perfect for now, so maybe The Lockdown Covers will become my staying sane project over the next few weeks!

Demo: That's What I Get (NIN Acoustic Cover)

Vagina dentata, my cock is a martyr, at the altar of your psychopussy. Ode to a fallen penis!
Work in progress, I need a guitar genius to assist me really!

Psychobitch (in progress)

The tale of this song is here: http://ofherbsandaltars.wordpress.com/2013/04/13/beancurd-angst/

I am not your mungbean

This one goes out to a special someone who told me to grow up and stop being such a foulmouthed and immature individual. In the words of Larry Flynt, if you are going to treat me like a baby, then I'm gonna act like a baby! I have fashioned this American flag into a diaper!

Such A Bitch

My 11 Inch Cock (is not a laughing matter)

Inspired by Louise Stokes 'Dark and Bleak', here is a profoundly morose song, channeling a little Nick Cave and Johnny Cash...

Song of the Melodramatic Goth

An unholy racket emanating from my bedroom, with lyrics of such godly beauty they make angels weep tears of semen!

Ofherbsandaltars

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