XXI is prudent, it’s carefully crafted, enveloping the sounds i love as a musician, and in turn encapsulating me sonically. I’ve spent countless hours, with many failed attempts. 

I fought and cried with this EP. Spent countless nights up until 5am tweaking every little detail until they clicked into place. I’m beyond proud to share this experience with you. 

I hope you can enjoy this EP as deeply as I’ve loved crafting it, xx. 💛

once upon a time
i was happy long ago
when i trace my face
could you see my smile fold?

when did i get so drained?
of this life that we claimed
have the skies always been this grey?
our story fades to black & white
as i fight day & night
clambering to make this right

and i know
you're the worst part of me
filled with dread
and i can't get it out 
what you said
i never wanted to leave
but your actions 
keep on cutting my sleeves
hold me close
i can rest when i 
dance with the dead
half alive but it's 
all in my head
i pray i'll wake up and see
that all of this was just another 
bad dream, oh no no
but there's no happy ever after

when you tore my heart
did you feel it bleed for you?
i guess 1001
never turned out to be true

oh why do i?
think about you all the time
you're always running my mind
oh i'd like to
forget you, never meant to
cause i'm no fool

and i know
you're the worst part of me
filled with dread
and i can't get it out 
what you said
i never wanted to leave
but your actions 
keep on cutting my sleeves
hold me close
i can rest when i 
dance with the dead
half alive but it's 
all in my head
i pray i'll wake up and see
that all of this was just another 
bad dream, oh no no
but there's no happy ever after

no nobody
no nobody
no nobody
hurts me like, hurts me like you do

no i won't no i won't (no nobody)
no i won't no i won't (no nobody)
let you go
no nobody
hurts me like, hurts me like you do

once upon a time

how do i let go?
it's been a couple years ago
since you were in my life
now all you do is come and go

i love to hear you say you've changed
it's a pity you stay the same

how do i move on?
when you've been up and gone so long
why do i still try?
i know you don't come back for love

my heart can only take so much
but all these feelings keep me strung

is this how, we're meant to be
two broken apart from destiny
is this love, or just enough?
could you spare the symphony, darling

i always thought
you'd cared for us
is it too much
to be someone to you?

cause darling you told me
i am the one
you said you loved me
and i believed you

oh that's the worst part
i believed you
i should've known this from the start

this is how, we're meant to be                 (it hurts to go)
two broken hearts, torn at the seams     (you were my home)
this ain't love, we'll never bud                 (how could i've known?)
so you be you, and I'll be me                    (you'd leave me)

the worst part

i'm scared
what if it's not good enough?
what if no one will listen?
is anyone there?
could you hear me scream
if i pressed my lungs to your heart?

my reality contorts and shifts all the time
i hardly know what feels real
and what's just a movie
a silly little movie
i want to feel again
but how could i let myself merit such unjust feelings?

i can't remember the day you left
it was slow, unforgiving
i cried and tore my heart out
how could you leave me?
was i not good enough?
did i do something wrong?

i listen to ballads & waltzes
they remind me of a life i never lived
the wisp of lilac and vanilla scented air
the golden fields, a happy home
just to wake up, cold & alone

i often wonder why
we all look up at the same sky
and see the same shades of blue
so why must i suffer more than you?

ballads & waltzes

It's been a few years
and I still can't remember
the pride that I should've felt
21 hit me fast, still living in the past
can't get over the guilt

I'm jaded and I can't stop overthinking
reassure me one day I'll stop sinking

everytime I open my eyes
I feel so blind
nothing feels real to me
god I want to feel again
and get out my head
please let me just breathe
I'm calling on you oh my dear old friend
I'm begging on my knees just let this end
god I want to feel again
please just let me feel something again

I'm sick of falling asleep
watching my days blur to nights
I'm stuck feeling 16
when 22's up on the rise

my mind feels like it's purgatory
feeding me lies that I won't see forty
but this is my life and I'll make my story
I'm worth my weight in gold

I'm jaded and 
I can't 
stop overthinking
reassure 
me one day 
I'll stop sinking

everytime I open my eyes
I feel so blind
nothing feels real to me
god I want to feel again
and get out my head
please let me just breathe
I'm calling on you oh my dear old friend
I'm begging on my knees just let this end
god I want to feel again
please just let me feel something again

I know you're trying
I know your futures bright
you're more than you're thinking
these feelings will come with time
this pain that your feeling
doesn't define your life
you're more than you're thinking
so breathe, it will be alright

to feel again

i'm crashing like the 
waves that used to keep me hoping
pulled in riptide i'm
losing sight of my main focus
i've burnt to ash
tryna keep my flame lit
watching these walls cave in
promise me i'll make it

this dissonance it hurts
nothing ever seems to work
is this esoteric as it seems?

in another life
i'd have more time
to do this right
give it my full fight
could you give me a sign?
i need hope i'm alive
is this all asinine?
cause i'm falling under
riptide

how do i be myself?
when everyone wants to be someone else
we're racing the clock like our times run out
is this fate or everchanging?
i'm fiending to catch my breath
ripping these feelings right off my chest
refract the thought that i did my best
i'm suffocating, i can't take it

this dissonance it hurts
nothing ever seems to work
is this esoteric as it seems?

in another life
i'd have more time
to do this right
give it my full fight
could you give me a sign?
i need hope i'm alive
is this all asinine?
cause i'm falling under
riptide

and i know how i know i get 
overwhelmed until i'm shaking
watching life pass me by as i'm
breaking down and overthinking
this ain't life, it's contrived need to 
ground myself and start existing
cause father time is a lie and i 
know that there is more to living

oh

feeling these waves of emotions spout
i'm choosing to live in the present now
cause i don't wanna be a slave to my doubts
so let's live for the now, and we'll figure it out
oh

XXI

One Hope