Bishop's Lodge

(Verse)
I could've sworn we weren't alone,
When I awoke to face the music,
This little boy would try and hold their hands,
Until the day he had to let them go, 

Within the woods where his dreams held company,
From somewhere else a long time coming, 
A pain so sharp, it's hold steadfast,
On a need for what they'd never understand, 

Maybe one day he'd show them,
And maybe one day they'd hear him, 

(Chorus)
As time goes on and on again,
And darkness comes to lend a helping hand,
So many years gone by and still he's standing here,
Wondering if there's something wrong with him, 

And even though this stage was set,
Could it be he's always known the heart he kept, 
And will it carry him through to the man he wants it to, 
Or is this all just how it goes,

On and on until we die,

(Verse)
Timeless and peaceful, a journey through himself,
To find the words to a song he'd never heard,
And somewhere along the path, 
Awaits the melody he can't remember,

Beyond the hills there's something staring back,
Its caring eyes long to watch him grow up, 
And though he yearns to know where all the children go,
He'll have to find it on his own, 

Maybe one day he'll see them again,
And maybe one day they'll show him, 

(Chorus)
As time goes on and on again,
And darkness comes to lend a helping hand,
So many years gone by and still he's standing here,
Wondering if there's something wrong with him, 

And even though this stage was set,
Could it be he's always known the heart he kept, 
And will it carry him through to the man he wants it to, 
Or is this all just how it goes,

On and on until we die,

(Bridge)
Once upon a time a fairytale fell apart,
A dream of what could once have been would fail these honest hearts, 

Though time would see a family restored with each passing year,
The sentiments of long ago would echo through the end, 

***

And standing there in the hallway,
Another realm where all his dreams were lead astray, 

If there's no fix to cure the itch,
Only time will tell if he's the man he wants to be, 

For all the world to see, 

***

Maybe it's time to let it go,
To the back of my head where it'll never show,

Its ugly face that calls my name,
A reminder of all these things that I hate, 

About us,

***

We could have stopped it in its tracks,
If only you and I had tried to see things eye to eye, 

If only words could read our minds,
Maybe we'd have nothing to say and we'd be on our merry way, 

(Chorus)
As time goes on and on again,
And darkness comes to lend a helping hand,
So many years gone by and still he's standing here,
Wondering if there's something wrong with him, 

And even though this stage was set,
Could it be he's always known the heart he kept, 
And will it carry him through to the man he wants it to, 
Or is this all just how it goes,

On and on until we die...

Bishop's Lodge

Fragile Eyes

(Verse)
I think I've finally figured out this ugly mess we've shared, 
With one hand tied behind my back I've built a little wall to hold the line, 

(Chorus)
You misunderstand the man who stands here in front of you today,
I've always had your back even when you had it turned to me, 
So now you're on your own, 

(Verse)
It's been a ride to say the least of all the hurt that brought us here, 
But I can tell your fragile eyes have turned to stone and what they see is what they know, 

(Chorus)
You misunderstand the man who stands here in front of you today,
I've always had your back even when you had it turned to me, 
So now you're on your own, 

(Bridge)
We could have had it all and shared the weight,
But the protocol we trapped ourselves in had the most to say, 
These broken promises add up and never find their way, 

So let's sink this battered ship and all the ghosts it hides below, 

Oh the going may get tough, 
But shit I've had enough, 
I've earned this broken road,
So I'll walk it on my own, 

And how the tortured need a break,
From the rhythms that we make, 
I'll do whatever the hell I have to in order to keep my head on straight, 

But I'll wish you well,
And see you in hell, 

(Chorus)
You misunderstand the man who stands here in front of you today,
I've always had your back even when you had it turned to me, 
So now you're on your own...

Fragile Eyes

Berklee Final Project (c. May 2020)- The Little Matchgirl

Infinity and the Boy

(Verse)
Something lurks in the shadows of his eyes,
Retreating into a forest that can't be seen from the trees,

Where ideas grow from nothing, and paranoia sleeps his life away,

If everything ends just as it starts,
Perhaps the thing that we call justice has no name,
Maybe some day when his story's found its epilogue,
What eats away at his heart will turn to look him in the eye,

Call it fate or call it fiction, surely someone out there somewhere must know,

(Chorus)
And so on sings the player on his stage,
His tune ever changing but the words remain the same,
So what melodies await beyond his desperate pleading verse,

And ever so immaculate the world sits on its edge,
Encouraging wonder with a grin beneath it all,
A marionette who's heart it bleeds,
For the nothing hiding behind this something,

(Verse)
Beyond his words a pair of ears wait,
For him to discover all of the pieces scattered throughout his life,
A guide to what he's known all this time,
To remind him of a dream he had inviting him to more closely walk the line,

Between all that ever was and all that will ever will be,

(Chorus)
And so on sings the player on his stage,
His tune ever changing but the words remain the same,
So what melodies await beyond his desperate pleading verse,

And ever so immaculate the world sits on its edge,
Encouraging wonder with a grin beneath it all,
A marionette who's heart it bleeds,
For the nothing hiding behind this something,

(Alternate Chorus)
How haunting it can be to simply close your eyes,
And just begin to see the outline of everything,
To welcome the voice you've never listened to before,
And let go of what you thought you knew before the here and now,

Is there a lesson to be learned or an answer to be found,
Before the paradox shifts again and takes you back to where it began,
From a man once on the brink of breaking through the endless sea,
To a boy learning to dance with infinity,

(Bridge)
Hey,
It's always been there hiding just beyond his waking mind's eye,
Hey,
And once upon a time he understood another kind of divinity,

A rare fleeting glimpse behind this curtain,
Escaping from the audience, their hollow eyes agape,
He walks down the isle toward the man upon the stage with open arms,

Though no word is spoken,
His answers ring true,

***

Watch these moments racing by,
Perspective shifting space and time,
Is there something in-between,
What leaves its mark on memory,

Within this palace reigns a soul,
Who longs for a kingdom beyond his own,
With no strings attached to life,

***

Hey, can you hear him calling out,
No, no, no,
Hey, can't you see he's growing older,
Eyes forward as the world goes by and leaves him with his thoughts in tow,
Hey, will he ever find the secrets of it all,
No, no, no,
Wisdom fading out, patience wearing thin, a lifetime in-between without a second thought,

(Alternate Chorus)
And so the battle wages on to find the worth in righting wrong,
As if the universe was watching with an eye for martyrdom,
In courting the fears that made a home in his mind,
Tearing at his hope there's something more than this to find,

See them peeking through the stitches in the fabric of it all,
Grinning at the thought that you can hear them when they laugh,
Here alone in the void where all but music seems to cease,
Until the boy can earn the heart of infinity...

Infinity and the Boy

(Verse)
Oh it's all coming to an end,
The ungrateful world that brought us here,
Such wretched beauty within its glow,
Yet somehow we just can't wait to let it go, 

This twisted mind won't settle for less,
Than the demise of it all,
Who we've become and what we've built,
It just won't matter when the lights go out, 

So how could we not see it coming, 
When we've walked this path before, 
These callous Gods are losing interest, 
Like the martyr and his whores, 

And swallowing defeat,
Seems so easy in the morning, 
Waking up,
Just to do it all again,

(PreChorus)
Oh the high road's a rocky one,
Be cautious of the twists and the turns,
There's no saying just what kind of shit you'll take along the way,
Or if the answers wait to spit your questions right back in your face, 

Bye bye,
Oh you've earned it little baby,
Now watch your temple fall, 

(Chorus)
So here we are waging war beneath thousands of careless stars, 
That won't remember us,
It all seems so clear when you're out of things to fear,
Now let go and make peace with your little slice of eternity, 

Oh it's not worth it to worry about all the things that we couldn't change,
Because we've got nothing to prove and no one to impress, 
This is it, there's nobody to clean up this mess...

The Descent

(Verse)
Here where blessings just fall from the trees,
And curses are born from their barren seeds,
I'll give it a go and see where it goes indeed,
To find a way out of this mess that I cherish so dearly, 

No matter the way, no matter the distance,
I can still feel you tugging, your serrated arms hugging, 
My conscience seems to have taken a step back to reassess,
The undying need to come clean with hope to right the wrongs of better men, 

(Chorus)
Enjoying your ride on my shoulder,
Filling up my head with all the shit that I'm supposed to have overcome,
I'm not sure I'll ever get rid of you,
I admit I can't say that if I did I wouldn't miss you,

So go on, show me what else I've forgotten,
The night belongs to you now, my dreams are yours to keep me awake,
And everyone that I'll ever love,
Will eventually get to meet the Quantum Juggernaut, 

(Verse)
I just want to let go, please leave me alone, I can't get out from under,
The sins of my father that've held on so tight to me,
And everything I want to give and take away from this cruel cruel world, 
When the chips fall I'll say fuck it, time to have some fun, 

Believe me when I say I just can't wait for that day,
With all the evil shit I've seen no longer clinging to my name, 
Whatever becomes of me I hope I carry it better,
Than what I grew up to think was normal and what had always seemed to come down to me,

(Chorus)
Enjoying your ride on my shoulder,
Filling up my head with all the shit that I'm supposed to have overcome,
I'm not sure I'll ever get rid of you,
I admit I can't say that if I did I wouldn't miss you,

So go on, show me what else I've forgotten,
The night belongs to you now, my dreams are yours to keep me awake,
And everyone that I'll ever love,
Will eventually get to meet the Quantum Juggernaut, 

(Bridge) 
I can't forgive you,
And I just can't forget you,
No matter how hard I try,

To learn from these mistakes you hold over me,
That turn about face when I'm down on my knees,
In a prayer to whatever you are and wherever you come from, 

No matter how fast and no matter how far I run away,
I can still hear you laughing at me,

The closer I get to cracking your code,
The further I find myself from ever growing old, 

I can't quite decide what to do with this life,
To take it as it comes or to push it all aside and get away from you, 

And all the little things you like to do, 

(Chorus)
Enjoying your ride on my shoulder,
Filling up my head with all the shit that I'm supposed to have overcome,
I'm not sure I'll ever get rid of you,
I admit I can't say that if I did I wouldn't miss you,

So go on, show me what else I've forgotten,
The night belongs to you now, my dreams are yours to keep me awake,
And everyone that I'll ever love,
Will eventually get to meet the Quantum Juggernaut...

Quantum Juggernaut

(Verse)
Afraid to fall asleep,
To face your formative years again,
Stumbling through the horrors that just won't go away and leave you the hell alone,

You never meant to build these walls,
Yet all these years later here they stand,
So eager to let strangers in,
And void the innuendo in their eyes,  

(Chorus)
It's all easy going 'til your worth is on the line,
So many screaming faces running rampant in your mind,
Call it what it is, don't try to justify the image you've beheld,
Some day you'll be gone and none of this will matter anyway, 

(Verse)
When you can't fall asleep,
And you're trapped inside your head, 
Remember what you know,
And learn to reap what you've sown,
Because none of this was ever your fault,

(Chorus)
It's all easy going 'til your worth is on the line,
So many screaming faces running rampant in your mind,
Call it what it is, don't try to justify the image you've beheld,
Some day you'll be gone and none of this will matter anyway, 

(Bridge)
But you're not worthy,
Of all the things that you want,
All the gifts that you have,
And the people you love, 

You've never been worthy,
Of all the things that you want, 
All the gifts that you have,
And the people who've loved you,

(Chorus)
It's all easy going 'til your worth is on the line,
So many screaming faces running rampant in your mind,
Call it what it is, don't try to justify the image you've beheld,
Some day you'll be gone and none of this will matter anyway...

Invisible Walls

(Verse)
These long nights have fancied themselves a hell in their own right,
As the premises run stale the devil grows bored of his fool, 

Is there another like me peering out from behind those broken eyes,
Across the sea of in-between where everything ceases to be,

If we're the company we keep, what comes of going it alone,

These dancers leap to and fro, a dare to crawl out from below,
And face the void that sleeps just fine whether or not we believe it to be divine, 

Go look in the mirror, behold the beauty,
In the horror that lurks beyond the body and soul to host the finite in your mind,

If so then where does beauty go when the beholder is no more, 

(Chorus)
So fly little boy,
Go show 'em what you're made of,
Because no one's gonna stop you from going out in style,

Hold on to your apathy,
It's all you've got to lose,
When the clock is running out and there's still so much more to do, 

Oh how the tables turn when you look into the eyes of God and no one's staring back at you,
And if so we're no exception at all, we wrote the writing on the wall ourselves,

(Verse)
It's as if the people know, it's one and done and away we go,
Callous and afraid of giving it all that we've got to give,

So why worry what the dark has in store for you, 

Oh I'm calling you out,
The sentiments askew when you can't find the strength to shout, 

No God was ever watching so go on and lay it waste,

And I wonder who could possibly have the right or nerve to judge us for the things we do, 

(Chorus)
So fly little boy,
Go show 'em what you're made of,
Because no one's gonna stop you from going out in style,

Hold on to your apathy,
It's all you've got to lose,
When the clock is running out and there's still so much more to do, 

Oh how the tables turn when you look into the eyes of God and no one's staring back at you,
And if so we're no exception at all, we wrote the writing on the wall ourselves,

(Bridge)
One by one these players reveal their spiteful gaze,
If all that glitters isn't worth the hell that you long for in fighting for,
Someone to share in the hopes that tomorrow won't leave you asking for more from yourself,
Searching for a crack in the glass,

***

Have I nothing left to say, 
In the face of all these words at play, 
What if all I leave behind,
Was always meant to fade away, 

And floating alone in the void,
I've never felt so home, 

(Chorus)
So fly little boy,
Go show 'em what you're made of,
Because no one's gonna stop you from going out in style,

Hold on to your apathy,
It's all you've got to lose,
When the clock is running out and there's still so much more to do, 

Oh how the tables turn when you look into the eyes of God and no one's staring back at you,
And if so we're no exception at all, we wrote the writing on the wall ourselves...

Made of Glass

(Verse)
Hey, hey, hey, 
Hey motherfucker, what you gonna do today, 
What?
Who you gonna blame when the ghouls come out to play,
Yeah,
The world's gonna be just fine in the wake of this life,
Oh?
So keep 'em coming, the rules you make to break, 
Oh I do,

You're an itty-bitty man with a plan,
Oh that's bull, 
Says you with the world on demand,
Give it up, 
I'll give it up when I've given it all I've got to give,
You'll be disappointed,

(PreChorus)
I know you're home and you can hear me,
And I don't care if nobody believes me,
Because oh, some day we'll meet face to face again,
So listen when I tell you now that I am not the good guy,

(Chorus)
Oh what treachery is this,
A hundred years to take the piss,
They say to say what you know,
And I know this world is full of it,

Your players wander to and fro,
To chase the light that fades so quickly as they peer through the black window, 

(Verse)
I've been watching you as long as you've been watching me,
And what did you find,
Oh you're wretched and you're swine,
So get used to it boy,
I don't intend to let you off the hook when I walk up those filthy steps to grease your fucking gate,

What makes you think you will,
Oh I've earned it just by being here,
With nothing to look forward to and naught to leave behind, 
Hey but ain't that better than to never live at all,
Well if I'd never lived at all then I'd have never owed you shit, 
Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,

(PreChorus)
I feel so alone when I'm asleep now,
And no one seems to care that this could all be just a dream now,
A ruse within the mind of God to hide from his existence, 
So if you're real well then you're no friend of mine yeah,

(Chorus)
Oh what treachery is this,
A hundred years to take the piss,
They say to say what you know,
And I know this world's just full of it,

Your players wander to and fro,
To chase the light that fades so quickly as they peer through the black window, 

(Bridge)
Ooh, let’s get something straight, you and I will never be friends,
Rum bum, bum bum bum, not until you need me boy,
I'll only ever need you when I need someone to blame again,
Rum bum, bum bum bum, whatever helps you sleep at night,

As life trudges on,
And robs the wonder from our childish eyes,
I'll write these words to paint the scene,
Of a boy on his knees begging God to come clean,

If no prayer has ever been heard,
Who's to stop me from burning it down,

A hundred years await the end,
To the letters we write our imaginary friend,
When reality settles into the heart,
It seems so mundane to keep making love and art,

At least I'll know where I stand,
When the boy wises up and kills the man,

(PreChorus)
Looks like it's up to me to find the value in a century,
That feels so long until it's over oh so quickly,
Whatever I leave behind I hope it holds something of value,
So I can rest easy when the world finally goes up in flames,

(Chorus)
Oh what treachery is this,
A hundred years to take the piss,
They say to say what you know,
And I know your world's just full of shit,

Your players wander to and fro,
To chase the light that fades so quickly as they peer through the black window...

The Black Window

(Verse)
A boy lost his father today,
And the world lost the man with forever in his heart, 
The fading memories race as the world goes rushing by,
With the words upon the page to keep the good ol' days alive,

Oh together we solved the universe through prose and song and sacred verse,
I never told you anything you hadn't already thought of,
But that glisten in your eye couldn't hide the fact that I wanted to be just like you, 

(Chorus)
The heart of a lion in his prime never dies,
Sleeping so soundly beneath a sun that won't rise,
On the house that held your soul but it feels so empty now,
And it kills me to know that you will never hear this song,

(Verse)
A boy kisses his childhood goodbye,
As the world pulls the rug out from underneath his feet,
And twists the knife deep in his heart as his life is torn apart before his eyes,
And wipes away the smile he hid behind,

Oh there's nothing beyond infinity, no home or place for you and me,
I never gave you anything you could take with you on your journey out of here,
But I listened to the sermons that you gave,
When I turned out just like you,

(Chorus)
The heart of a lion in his prime never dies,
Sleeping so soundly beneath a sun that won't rise,
On the house that held your soul but it feels so empty now,
And it kills me to know that you will never hear this song,

(Bridge)
Without you the world seems so insignificant,
The questions we explored and the answers we resent, 
And the sacred and profound have no room in what I've found,
The absence that we leave the only reason to believe, 
Because the heart's got plenty to do before it stops,

I hope that you and I were both wrong,
That everything we do is such that no one's really gone,
And the lifetime that you suffered through to hear the words I love you,
From a boy cut from the same old cloth with nothing more to lose than you,
And everything to gain from the prices paid to be your best friend, 

(Chorus)
The heart of a lion in his prime never dies,
Sleeping so soundly beneath a sun that won't rise,
On the house that held your soul but it feels so empty now,
And it kills me to know that you will never hear this song,

The heart of a lion in his prime never dies,
Sleeping so soundly beneath a sun that won't rise,
On the house that held your soul but it feels so empty now,
And it kills me to know that you will never hear this song,

And it kills me to know that you will never hear this song...

Man of Forever

The Navigator (MIDI Mockup)

(Verse)
Your friends say I should pull myself on up now,
That I should grow a pair,
That I should be grateful to be your little boy,

Maybe I should wash my hands of you,
And leave you here to die,
In the wake of what your legacy's become,

Is this everything you'd hoped for us, 
Your loved ones in the dust,
Your name a bloody stain on better men,

Is this all that I had asked of you,
In loving you no matter what,
To brave the coming storm and make you proud of me,

(Chorus)
Oh sweet fairytale I wait for you to take me out of here,
I gave you everything I had motherfucker, how dare you hang me out to dry, 

Saving face through thick and thin I swore I'd never give up on you,
Yet there you stand beyond the grave with a knife still soaked in my blood, 

Broken promises adorned with lessons for everyone but you,
So here I flail amongst the ruins of my own naïveté,

I hope I never make this mistake again, of looking for the best in men,
There's no honor found in forgiving what we should know better than,   

Somewhere far beyond you'll answer for this lonesome wandering star,

(Verse)
I buried the man I thought I knew,
What's the point of being righteous when everyone's as wrong as you,

I'll never forgive you for taking me for everything,
As if I owed you that much,
As if this life was all for you,

Can't you hear me crying out for you, 
Don't you dare tell me you love me now,
I hate you more than words could ever say,

(Chorus)
Oh sweet fairytale I wait for you to take me out of here,
I gave you everything I had motherfucker, how dare you hang me out to dry, 

Saving face through thick and thin I swore I'd never give up on you,
Yet there you stand beyond the grave with a knife still soaked in my blood,

Broken promises adorned with lessons for everyone but you,
So here I flail amongst the ruins of my own naïveté,

I hope I never make this mistake again, of looking for the best in men,
There's no honor found in forgiving what we should know better than,   

Somewhere far beyond you'll answer for this lonesome wandering star,

(Bridge)
Oh all the things that I should have said,
As I tucked you into your bed,

How I wish I could have another chance,
But I lay here awake instead, 

Watching stars move across the sky,
And the sun peeking in too soon,

Casting warmth on a bed so cold,
Where a boy watched a man grow old, 

***

I'll find you again, soon,
But first I must venture out into the world I behold on my own,

I'll keep you close as I become your son,
But life takes with it a price, a piece of your soul, 
Before you're let go,

***

Father,
How could you leave me here all alone,
In the wake of your great mistakes, 
To answer for everything you never bothered to warn me about in the end,
Oh defiling the image you raised me to grow up to be,

Now our lives are in the hands of fools,
As all the parasites with whom you surrounded yourself,
To perch above the rest,
Collect on their time served beneath you, 
Oh isn't it grand now that history will remember them as friends of yours, 
Suddenly gone from my life as they've sold off their comfy place in yours,

(Chorus)
Oh sweet fairytale I wait for you to take me out of here,
I gave you everything I had motherfucker, how dare you hang me out to dry, 

Saving face through thick and thin I swore I'd never give up on you,
Yet there you stand beyond the grave with a knife still soaked in my blood,

Broken promises adorned with lessons for everyone but you,
So here I flail amongst the ruins of my own naïveté,

I hope I never make this mistake again, of looking for the best in men,
There's no honor found in forgiving what we should know better than,   

Somewhere far beyond you'll answer for this lonesome wandering star...

The Wandering Star

Departure

Saskia

(Verse)
Finding solace in the wreckage of a childhood dream,
A warm embrace so unfamiliar,

Second chances for a memory so disturbed,
I should know better but I can't resist the urge,

(Chorus)
Hey now silly boy, surprise surprise,
What have we learned here in the echoes of your life,
Little itty-bitty momma's boy, reaching for the sky,
You fucking get what you deserve if you thought you could spread your wings and fly,

Now brave this storm, 'cause you brought this on,
When you decided you were better than what came before, 
You heart's a gimmick and your love is a novelty, the sooner you learn, the sooner you can give up and die,

(Verse)
This bridge I'm burning's only strong enough for one, 
But still I keep on looking back at all the faces in the flames, 

My footing's stumbled and I've fallen for you again,
If only I could be your lover in some other place and out of time, 

(Chorus)
Hey now silly boy, surprise surprise,
What have we learned here in the echoes of your life,
Little itty-bitty momma's boy, reaching for the sky,
You fucking get what you deserve if you thought you could spread your wings and fly,

Now brave this storm, 'cause you brought this on,
When you decided you were better than what came before, 
You heart's a gimmick and your love is a novelty, the sooner you learn, the sooner you can give up and die,

(Bridge)
"Know your place" says your subconscious,
Grasping at the gallows swinging,
Tears falling, voices calling in unison "I told you so",

Take your heart off your sleeve and put it back where it belongs,
Locked away beneath the scars from every other time you gave it up,

Running out of room for stitches, structural integrity gone,
It's up to you to fix it now, or leave it in the embers of,

Everyone you've ever loved before,
Any hope you've held for something more,

But broken doesn't quite say it does it,

(Chorus)
Hey now silly boy, surprise surprise,
What have we learned here in the echoes of your life,
Little itty-bitty momma's boy, reaching for the sky,
You fucking get what you deserve if you thought you could spread your wings and fly,

Now brave this storm, 'cause you brought this on,
When you decided you were better than what came before, 
You heart's a gimmick and your love is a novelty, the sooner you learn, the sooner you can give up and die,

(Bridge - reprise)
This won't be the last time I make this mistake, 
But it will be the last time you catch me off guard,
So come on, come and get it now baby, I'm all yours to use,
And when we're done the joke's on you 'cause I've got nothing left to lose, 
No sympathy for your abuse,
And I'm all out of time to give to you...

Out of Time

(Verse)
I asked the universe why you showed up in my life,
The universe said to show me the kind of love that I could really feel,
Oh and what I was worthy of,

So I would never settle for less than what you gave me,
Melting in your arms, a little boy could finally learn to let go, 
Your fingers through my hair, your soul wrapped around mine,

(Chorus)
So off I go into the world with you behind me,
Having loved and yet lost the prettiest eyes that ever saw through me,
Call it cruel or beautiful, the way that you were gone,
As quickly as you came, I thought an angel had found me,

I grow tired of crying when I think of you,
And all that you were to me in the little time that I now weigh,
In the blink of an eye, oh I could've spent an eternity with you,
Asleep in your arms again, running away to Dreamland, 

(Verse)
The heart's a fickle thing, running away like a child,
Even the strongest of us are powerless against its will,
Oh its got to have what it wants,

And so I let it run away unsupervised,
Straight into your arms where it found a home whose walls were safe from all reality,
Where the man could learn to love the boy again,

(Chorus)
So off I go into the world with you behind me,
Having loved and yet lost the prettiest eyes that ever saw through me,
Call it cruel or beautiful, the way that you were gone,
As quickly as you came, I thought an angel had found me,

I grow tired of crying when I think of you,
And all that you were to me in the little time that I now weigh,
In the blink of an eye, oh I could've spent an eternity with you,
Asleep in your arms again, running away to Dreamland,

(Bridge)
And now I tear as I write this having already said goodbye,
I wish I could throw it all away and take my place at your side,
But it wouldn't be right, two lovers out of time,
I just hope you'll carry with you a little piece of me forever, 

Were you an angel sent to remind me who I am,
The lover I had asked for when I cried out into the void,
Stumbling through the dark I began to see the light,  
So I'll keep on looking for you, I will,

It's not your fault that I fell so hard,
It's nobody's fault love hurts more than anything,
So this is how I say goodbye,
I wish things were different but I just can't be in your life,

(Chorus)
So off I go into the world with you behind me,
Having loved and yet lost the prettiest eyes that ever saw through me,
Call it cruel or beautiful, the way that you were gone,
As quickly as you came, I thought an angel had found me,

I grow tired of crying when I think of you,
And all that you were to me in the little time that I now weigh,
In the blink of an eye, oh I could've spent an eternity with you,
Asleep in your arms again, running away to Dreamland,

(Outro)
Falling gently back into the place you live in my head,
Stitching my heart back together I'll keep you safe and sound in the hole you carved out of me,

And if you should find yourself all alone,
Just remember that I'm out there somewhere and I'm thinking of you, I'm still longing to be with you,
So never forget, I promise I won't forget you...

Dreamland

(Verse)
Oh I think I hurt you my love,
In the greatest mistake that I'll ever make,
So this is the sound of boy lying awake in regret,

I hope I meant to you what you meant to me,
I had the world in front of me but I just couldn't see,
I guess I was wrong, I'm not yet the man I want to be, 

(Chorus)
Forgive me, please, 
I couldn't see the forest from the trees,
I took for granted a gift from the universe,

Help me, I'm bleeding,
I can't get my heart to stop,
I'm drowning in the hole you left when I misbehaved, 

Is that how you'll remember me,
The man who went and threw it all away, 

(Verse)
Just know it keeps me up at night that I let you down, 
You were a chance for me to grow and I turned out to be a clown,
I can't disagree, you probably shouldn't give yourself to me, 

(Chorus)
Forgive me, please, 
I couldn't see the forest from the trees,
I took for granted a gift from the universe,

Help me, I'm bleeding,
I can't get my heart to stop,
I'm drowning in the hole you left when I misbehaved, 

Is that how you'll remember me,
The man who went and threw it all away, 

(Bridge)
If mom could see me know, it looks like she was right,
Another man out for himself, too many broken hearts forgotten in his wake,

Oh I apologize for spitting in your eye,
I'll pay for it forever now with this eternal heavy heart,

I wish I could say your name but it's not my place,
I took responsibility for the memory of your face, 

I wish I could've looked at you and told you that I loved you,
But I just went and fucked it up instead, 

(Chorus)
Forgive me, please, 
I couldn't see the forest from the trees,
I took for granted a gift from the universe,

Help me, I'm bleeding,
I can't get my heart to stop,
I'm drowning in the hole you left when I misbehaved, 

Is that how you'll remember me,
The man who went and threw it all away...

The Clown

(Verse)
Oh, I can't afford to go through this again,
To have loved and lost like I'd never before,
Embraced in all the things I used to be,
And yet a part of me that I had never seen,

I'd run away from all that I believed,
To hide from all the love that I had grieved, 
The ghosts of all those closest to me,
A bitter broken bastard boy,

(Chorus)
I'd take your hand any given night,
See you smiling at me through the side of your waiting eyes,

The world stops to watch as we take the floor,
And so I follow your lead, swept away into your irises, 

Eternity can wait, this dance is just for you and me, 

(Verse)
I never knew that I could feel this,
That broken hearts could be so worth it,
It's never been so hard for me to say goodbye,
But it's up to me to figure out why,

(Chorus)
I'd take your hand any given night,
See you smiling at me through the side of your waiting eyes,

The world stops to watch as we take the floor,
And so I follow your lead, swept away into your irises, 

Eternity can wait, this dance is just for you and me, 

(Bridge)
Please get out of my head,
I can't fall asleep,
I can't fall in love,
I can't forget what you said,

I swallowed my pride,
I let you decide,
Just what I was worth,
Until our fairytale died,

+++

I was as surprised as you when out came the words,
As honest as I'd ever been the moment you looked at me,

Suddenly your eyes betrayed your face, a smile teased,
Before laughter had its way with us, the rest is history, 

I fell into your arms that fateful night,
I looked into your eyes and saw what I had never seen before,

Beholding me so trusting and so dignified by choice,
As if I'd earned it just by being there and seeing you for all you were, 

I'll carry you with me,
And in return I'll leave a piece of me with you for safe keeping,

I never did say thank you for everything,
I never told you I could love you if you decided that you wanted me to,

Oh and some day I'll crawl out of this hole,
But as of now I waste away in lieu of doing right by you my love,

How could you have known what you were getting yourself into,
How could I have known that you would be the one to show me everything, 

(Chorus)
I'd take your hand any given night,
See you smiling at me through the side of your waiting eyes,

The world stops to watch as we take the floor,
And so I follow your lead, swept away into your irises, 

Eternity can wait, this dance is just for you and me... (x3)

Dancing with Eternity

Quintessence (MIDI Mockup)

Sleeping Trees (MIDI Mockup)

Acoustic Demos

Welcome to Utopia (acoustic demo)

Symphony No. 1 In C Minor, Op. 3 - I: Allegro (MIDI Mockup)

Symphony No. 1 In C Minor, Op. 3 - II: Adagio con moto (MIDI Mockup)

The fourth and final movement of my first symphony.

Symphony No. 1 in C Minor, Op. 1 - IV: Allegro ma non troppo (MIDI Mockup)

Hallelujah

(Verse)
Pretty painted figures set a harrowing scene,
Misfortune calls a toast to this dysfunctional machine, 

So raise your glass, we've got no class, we're lying to ourselves,
And by design we're past our prime, it's never coming back, 

(PreChorus)
Something was always off,
In the rise and fall of its breath, 

(Chorus)
We'll all sing along,
As the orchestra plays on,
Watching as the children play the game we've given up, 

In sickly dying streets,
We've lost the cure for this disease,
A front row seat to all we've said and done, 

(Verse) 
No audience to praise us for this careful treachery, 
Mothers, fathers, left behind in search of misery,

This theater is falling down in hopes of setting free,
The broken souls trapped in their seats, 
In a dead menagerie, 

(PreChorus)
No more names to call,
The nothing has come for us all,

(Chorus)
We'll all sing along,
As the orchestra plays on,
Watching as the children play the game we've given up, 

In sickly dying streets,
We've lost the cure for this disease,
A front row seat to all we've said and done, 

(Bridge)
Oh, this city's run awry, 
No reason and no why,
The clocks have stopped and all the stars have turned to black,

Now, as the panic settles in,
Allow yourself a grin,
After all we are a catalyst for history,

Oh, and when no prayers are left to say,
And God has lost his way,
The stories of the past set free the ghosts of lessons learned,

In the end we're all alone,
We've got no place to go,
Our names are loved and lost and fade away,

(Chorus)
We'll all sing along,
As the orchestra plays on,
Watching as the children play the game we've given up, 

In sickly dying streets,
We've lost the cure for this disease,
A front row seat to all we've said and done, 

And when it's done we'll sing Hallelujah...

Volume I

Hallelujah

The Calling of Crows

(Verse)
To live without a soul, without a voice,
Accepting every role, without a choice,
With fuel to feed the fire, a living hell,
Ashes of your heart’s desire, bid farewell,

Stare down the barrel of your dream,
With your finger trust what you can't see, 

(Chorus)
But who’s to say why, who’s to say where, who’s to say when to die,
Is it a false pretense behind the reason children cry,
Is it a game, or is it a joke, is it the grand design, 
Is there no escaping the crows when they call, 

(Verse) 
How can we sleep at night, with dreams of other worlds,
What is this thing inside, reality obscured,
Ourselves a mystery, a mirror personified,
Somewhere in history, a crow tears goodbye,

When children wake from their escape,
The nature of the curtain calls,

(Chorus)
But who’s to say why, who’s to say where, who’s to say when to die,
Is it a false pretense behind the reason children cry,
Is it a game, or is it a joke, is it the grand design, 
Is there no escaping the crows when they call, 

(Bridge)
All the books in the world bare witness to,
Understanding all the things we do,
To recognize the hollow in the truth,
Hidden on the tip of your tongue, 

(Guitar Solo)

Sealed in its case, an identity plays away,
Changing all the while to see itself another day,
Desire for disaster, a relief from alabaster,
In the fire of the after, everyone's a bastard, 

Looking in the mirror, wondering what it means to be,
A mystery of an entity, with a slightly differing memory,
Where do we start, and when does the other end,
Or is it all one and the same, with nowhere to ascend, 

(Chorus)
But who’s to say why, who’s to say where, who’s to say when to die,
Is it a false pretense behind the reason children cry,
Is it a game, or is it a joke, is it the grand design, 
Is there no escaping the crows when they call...

The Calling of Crows

The Balloonist

(Verse)
A purple haze cloaks the unknown,
Where dreams and the real intersect,
Superstition corrupts his vision, 
Leading him to question everything,

Alone in the basket he roams,
The horizon teasing the unknown,
A chilled breeze renders his senses,
Clouded by the worries he knows,

All too well,

(Chorus)
The wind carries him away,
In a canvas of his thoughts come yesterday,
The paths lie ahead with no visible end, 
He drifts toward the other path again,

(Verse)
The ropes twist and turn in tension,
A consequence of overthinking, overstress,
He struggles to keep his balloon way up high,
With the world beckoning far below,

The sky's getting darker as time goes on,
A hopelessness taking his hold,
Is it just a scenario in his head,
Not what really lies beyond, 

Or in his stead, 

(Chorus)
The wind carries him away,
In a canvas of his thoughts come yesterday,
The paths lie ahead with no visible end, 
He drifts toward the other path again,

(Bridge)
Is it all in his head,
The words that they said,
The softly fading glow ahead,

He isn't quite sure, 
Which way to go,
No memories, so,

(Chorus)
The wind carries him away,
In a canvas of his thoughts come yesterday,
The paths lie ahead with no visible end, 
He drifts toward the other path again...

The Balloonist

A Face in the Woods

(Verse)
So here we are,
Just you and me,
We've reached the fork in our road, 
Did you ever think that this was how it'd go,

The end in sight,
We'll be alright,
We've locked the door and swallowed the key,
To the way our lives will never be, 

(Chorus)
And you and I will sit side by side,
When the end of the world comes along,
As the dog days of summer give our tired hearts a rest,
From the memories we've missed of all the things that never came to pass, 

(Verse)
And when you're gone,
Does life go on,
With years to come you'll fade away,
In the eyes of those we've lead astray,

You wrote the words,
I sang the tune,
We've made the best of who we are,
But all the world may never know, 

(Chorus)
And you and I will sit side by side,
When the end of the world comes along,
As the dog days of summer give our tired hearts a rest,
From the memories we've missed of all the things that never came to pass, 

(Bridge)
But whoever could have guessed,
That when you were laid to rest,
The world that you thought so cold,
Would be there by your bedside to hold your hand, 

And all that I ask is this,
Of the years before we found our bliss, 
No matter the things we've said and done, 
You'll always be a face in the woods, 

(Chorus)
And you and I will sit side by side,
When the end of the world comes along,
As the dog days of summer give our tired hearts a rest,
From the memories we've missed of all the things that never came to pass...

Volume II

A Face in the Woods

Just rediscovered this from an assignment in college. Kinda dig it.

Lofi Sketch

A Palace at the End of Time

(Verse)
Is it all just a joke,
Are we here all alone,
Is this will really our own,
In this void we call home,

I've seen the palace at the end of time,
Where the one they call God brought me along for the ride, 

In the end who's there to say,
To embrace the great dismay,
As the years go flying by,
Without a trace or reason why we're still here,

(Chorus)
If there's a chance we can't escape,
These walls that hold us here in everything we've ever known, 
Is it worth it to go on,
To mourn if there's never really been anyone at all, 

Is it all one big mistake,
To know that this is all that we'll ever understand,
In the dying light of day,
The stars will remind us of the bloody hand of fate, 

It'll all be over soon, 

(Verse)
As a boy I yearned to know,
Where we were from and where we go, 
Now as a man I must accept,
I'll never learn the secrets kept, 

So here I sing the words to paint a great beyond, 
It's all that I have, the only thing that I've got to remember,

(Chorus)
If there's a chance we can't escape,
These walls that hold us here in everything we've ever known, 
Is it worth it to go on,
To mourn if there's never really been anyone at all, 

Is it all one big mistake,
To know that this is all that we'll ever understand,
In the dying light of day,
The stars will remind us of the bloody hand of fate, 

It'll all be over soon, 

(Bridge)
Oh, but it's not who we are,
And it isn't what we've said,
When the world you've beheld is hanging on by a thread, 
To a thousand tiny glimpses of a life that never could have been, 

In unison we drift through a manic lullaby, 
Until we can dream ourselves a happier goodbye,
Perhaps there's a wisdom to this mirror in our mind,
Maybe there's something in there it wants us to find, 

(Chorus)
If there's a chance we can't escape,
These walls that hold us here in everything we've ever known, 
Is it worth it to go on,
To mourn if there's never really been anyone at all, 

Is it all one big mistake,
To know that this is all that we'll ever understand,
In the dying light of day,
The stars will remind us of the bloody hand of fate...

John Francis McCarthy

Pinned to spotlight

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