Tuesday Shoots Rupert at the Pun Club
(Poetry & Spokane Word in Washington)

The Rupert Pupkin show aired every weeknight for 3 years. Mostly it's remembered as a launching pad for the classic holiday iFilm, "Applecare Presents an RP PRESENTation of 'Why Are You Ruining Christmas?'" It resonated deeply with critics and audiences.  The same cannot be said for it's companion piece, "I'll Be in the Car." As host, Rupert would sing, dance and do stand up for an audience of one;  a surly little person named Tuesday. That was the gimmick.

Tuesday lost her voice in the mall at a young age and had never recovered.  A good portion of her day is still spent looking for it.  She's also hoping to find her nose. Her Grandmother had swiped it right off her face while confessing to the crime in song. Tuesday never learned to speak and was threatened by those that did.  She was an incredibly gifted writer but rarely exercised it.  She was economical with her words and personal history.  They say she is only attracted to men that look like her brother.

Rupert had never performed for a better audience than Tuesday.  He learned to love that gig and the half-girl more. He would have done it forever. He took requests but also didn't. Eventually Tuesday grew restless but no taller. One night in the middle of a taping she stuffed a few of the better unused bits in her bra and slowly ran off. Sponsors abandoned Rupert after he lost his audience and the show was quickly cancelled.

Years later some of the better bits from the act started surfacing in the comments section of gossip rags. They were thinly disguised as celebrity burns from Bruce Villanch's kids killing time while waiting for their Father to claim them at the baggage check. The half-girl Tuesday had traded them at the pawn shop for a used voice. She had secretly always wanted to be a comic. Now, finally, with these original routines and her new used voice, her daydream could be realized.

The joke was on her though. Rupert had stolen all those bits first from an evening with Wally Londo featuring Bill Slaszo


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