1400 journalists hunted down and killed since 1992 just for doing their job unearthing corruption and speaking truth to power. Support them here (https://cpj.org/about/donate/)

=============

Shine a light 

Who wants to know, who really wants to learn
Who pulls the levers, makes the wheels all turn?
Follow the money to where the bodies lie
There is no place there for you or I...

Who's that knocking, knocking at my door?
Early morning, quarter of four
Who heeds the calls of all the disappeared?
Who speaks for those of us still waiting here?

We got to shine a light
You know they're trying to shine a light
We're trying to shine a light

Who makes the laws, who passes all the rules?
That say she stays at home don't go to school
All she wanted was a chance to learn
And all they gave her were these acid burns

You know we got to shine a light
We're trying to shine a light
We're trying to shine a light
Trying to shine a light
Yeah they're dying to shine a light

Shine a light

Life eh? Highs and lows. Lows and highs. Quiet bits....And LOUD BITS!

==============

Broken

Wondering why I hurt those around me?
So preoccupied with the darkness surrounding me
What's it all for?
You see I am flawed
Because I'm broken
Broken
Because I'm broken
Broken

Lock me away 
If you think that you ought to
I'd roar like a lion
More like a lamb to the slaughter
What's it all mean?
Should you intervene?
Because I'm broken
Broken
Because I'm broken
Broken

Broken

Lock me away 
If you think that you ought to
Like mother like son
Blood is thicker than water
Broken
Because I'm broken
Broken

Broken

From an early age, I have always been awed/puzzled by folks who seem to know what they want to do with their lives.  I wish I had that clarity of purpose. I have spent a good many wasted years I can tell you!

But sometimes someone or something comes along to give you that meaning.  Or it was already there...you just needed to see it 

=================

Driftwood

I was hungrier than famished
Throat so dry felt like a stone
And the hope within me vanished
Every step I took from home

I was floating free like driftwood
Cast across the sea
I was skimming cross the surface
Nothing deep to anchor me

Lead me through the darkness
Guide me to the light
Wake me from my slumber
Hear, hear me tonight

Cos I was floating free like driftwood
Cast across the sea
I was searching for the answer 
When it was right in front of me 

Because it's here
When I'm around you
Because it's here
It will astound you
Thank god I finally found you
I finally found you
I finally found you

I see my life before my eyes
Its passing right in front of me
Friends to the left and to the right
I want to say the things unsaid
Try to put things right
Before they all pass out of sight
Take a look around you
Around you

Because it's here
It's here
It's here
It's here

I see my life before my eyes
Its passing right in front of me
Friends to the left and to the right
I want to say the things unsaid
Try to put things right
Before they all pass out of sight
Take a look around you
Around you
Because it's here

It's here
It's here
It's here

Driftwood

Mrs OBE mentioned this is very apt for present times! Didn't quite come out the way I intended but that is the songwriter's curse! Picture by YiorgosGR


Roll with it

These are troubled times
They're weighing on our minds
The harder that we try
Our plans go all awry

Don't give up that's the spirit
You gotta roll with it
You gotta roll with it
You gotta roll with it
Roll, roll with it. roll, roll
You gotta roll with it

You, you took the knocks
Left you stranded on the ropes
You fought them till you dropped
If you want to make it stop

Don't give up that's the spirit
You gotta roll with it
You gotta roll with it
You gotta roll with it
Roll, roll with it. roll, roll
You gotta roll with it

Yeah you gotta roll with it!

Roll with it

The quote below is taken from Middlemarch by George Elliot:
 
"The growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life and rest in unvisited tombs."
 
It was also featured at the end of "A Hidden Life", a movie by Terence Malick. The film is probably not everybody's cup of tea, but I found it incredibly moving. Something about the beautiful setting...and the gentleness of the main characters. It tells the  heart-wrenching story (based on fact) of Austrian farmer and devout Catholic Franz Jägerstätter, who chose to stand up alone against the Nazis and their poisonous ideology. Everybody in his village turned against him, even the priest. He was jailed and eventually put to death. And his family was persecuted. The movie made me pick up the guitar...amazing how emotion can be linked to a piece of art or a film and then to  music to literature, each inspiring the other and sparked by real life events (not that I'm comparing my stupid song to that amazing film or the incredible heroism of Jägerstätter and his family).
 
Anyway, blah blah blah. All that long preamble is to explain this is my ode to all those gentle souls so important to us who we sometimes forget and who are invisible to most other people. I am very thankful to have them in my life.
 
 
==================
 
Hidden lives
 
In the background 
Seldom seen
Few ever notice 
The worlds between

Unlooked for kindness
Comforting words
The ones who listened
And you were heard
 
So we remember
Those hidden lives
The near and the dear ones 
Who pass us by
Yes we remember
Those hidden lives
Those hidden lives
Those hidden lives
 
Not much to speak of
Just specks of dust
Yet they still mean
The world to us
The world to us
They mean the world to us

Hidden lives

Mr and Mrs OBE can get all gloomy listening to the news. Some days its like the sky is fuggin falling in! But then I think of what my parents ...and what their parents... had to go through and life really isn't all that bad, is it? Here's to those indomitable spirits without which we wouldn't be here!

And thanks to the neighbors' dog for yapping inbetween verses :)

--------------------------

Colors

These colors never run
Won't stop for anyone
No they won't back down
Always stand their ground

Fought for the family
For god and country
Devoted all their lives
Made that sacrifice

And now the years have passed
The colors fading fast
It seems they're on your mind
The dreams that you left behind

Well father died, he left this place
The hours were all you had to face
Long evenings on the porch
Wondering was it all for naught?

Grandkids playing on the grass
They brought you peace at last
These colors never run
They won't stop for anyone

Colors

Goodbye

Good morning how are you today?
You’re looking better than yesterday
It’s been so long now, it’s time for talking straight
No holding back now, please don’t hesitate

Who bought the flowers standing by the bed?
Should bring me hope but nearly kills me instead
Your eyes are heavy and your body is weak
God help my child back on her feet

Good morning how are you today?
You’re looking better than yesterday
I tug your hair, brush a tear from your cheek
No secrets left for us to keep

Who brought the flowers standing by the bed?
Should bring me hope but nearly kills me instead
Your eyes are heavy but there’s nothing to say
My one, my only, I watch as you slowly, slowly slip away

Goodnight my only

Never really noticed this at the time, but my watch ticking away is the star of this recording. 

A song inspired by a wonderful old couple sitting in Central Park with the ol geezer dozing away with his head in his love's lap. If only, we could all find that happiness...



Extraordinary

When we were young, younger than today
So much to prove to ourselves
Too scared to say how we felt
I saw you first across that room
You were all that I thought of, all that I thought of
Just the same for any other love

I took you out, played the fool
I did my best to impress
Maybe too much, you liked me less
We found a place to call our own
It wasn't much, but I know it felt like home
Wasn't all that you dreamed of, all that you dreamed of
Enough for an ordinary love, our ordinary love

And now the years, they passed away
You know the worst there is of me, and its OK
You were all that I needed, all that I needed
Enough for an ordinary love, our ordinary love
Extraordinary love

Extraordinary

Shreds

Pray they don't find you out
The fears and the doubts
They'll eat you up and spit you out
They'll mess with your head 
Leave you hanging by a thread

Pray they will grant you peace
Or some recompense at least
For every sleight, every reverse
That rocks your world, your universe
They mess with your head
Leave you tattered, torn to shreds
Don't leave me torn to shreds
Shreds

From the bottle to the glass
I see my shade reflected back
I'm knocked off-kilter, out of whack
They messed with my head
Left me tattered, torn to shreds
Torn to shreds
Don't leave me torn to shreds

Shreds

Love without hope

When a mother sees her son
She only sees a child
And her pain has just begun
She face her first denial
He refuses her love
She can never give enough
She gives him all she has to give
But he wants more
And she gives...

She gives him a love
A love without hope
How can he help but return a love that's burning
A love without hope

Building walls as he grows older
Seeming distant growing colder
And he turns his back on all that he's known
Turns his back on his heart and his home
He refuses her love
She can never give enough
She gives him all she has to give
But he wants more
And she gives...

She gives him a love
A love without hope
How can he help but return a love that's burning
A love without hope


Love without hope

Aint seen nothing yet
 
Well everyone says the world ain't what it used to be
There's too much suffering, pain and tragedy
Well noone said it would be easy but if we give it all we got
Maybe we'll make a world that's better
We'll never stop, we wont give up
We can forgive, we won't forget
And if they tell us its all over
They ain't seen nothing yet
 
Well everyone come on, come on and gather round
Clap those hands; let me hear that happy sound
Cos what you give, what you give is what you get
And if they tell you its all over 
They ain't seen nothing yet
 
Well every time we're together you know I feel that spark
I feel as light as a feather; be still my beating heart
There's no doubts, there's no doubt, there's no regrets
And every time I think its over you say
You ain't seen nothing yet
 
Santos-Dumont, Montgolfier
Pasteur and Madame Curie
Orwell, Huxley, Hemingway
Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Newton Einstein Genius 
It only takes a few of us
Da Vinci and Copernicus
They kept going long enough
To persevere when times got tough
You know something
You aint seen nothing yet

Ain't seen nothing yet

Gotta keep on reminding myself of the last lines of this one: I never say it loud enough


You're the one I'm with

She's the only one 
You ever loved strong enough
She's the only one 
Who understood what you're thinking of

So breathe, breathe the bright morning air
I believe you'll see her standing there

Sometimes when we are restless
Pay no mind to what we got
Then we find out where the heart is
We forgot the one we're with
The one we're with

He's the only one 
You ever loved strong enough
He's the only one 
Who understood what you're thinking of

So breathe, breathe the bright morning air
I believe you'll see him standing there

Sometimes when we are restless
Pay no mind to what we got
Then we find out where the heart is
We forgot the one we're with

Love...we don't know what it is
Its a leap into the darkness,
A thousand mysteries
Love...we don't know what it is
Its those acts of human kindness
All those sacrifices 
For the one you're with
Love the one you're with
Love the one you're with
You gotta love the one you're with

I never say it loud enough
But you're the one I'm thinking of...
You're the one I'm with

You're the one I'm with

Senseless indiscriminate killing of civilians...Israel and Gaza 2023. Ukraine 2022. Sickening atrocities in Myanmar 2021. I wrote this song after Tianamen square 1989.  The dates change but we never change do we? Remembering all those who have suffered, or are suffering

=========
Written London 1989


In cold blood

Its hard to understand
Its harder to believe
The blood is on their hands
Its in the air we breathe
Among the bicycles
Lying twisted there
The tangled bodies
Left strewn across the square

Running with the face of fear
In cold blood
Our sons and our daughters
Cut down and taken from us
In cold blood
Can noone stop the slaughter?
For the love of god
They're killing them all
In cold blood

There was no warning
No mercy, no forgiveness
Just grey of morning 
And blood turned into mist
The rain will come again
And wash the stains away
It cannot heal the pain
Or wipe the memory

Running with the face of fear
In cold blood
Our sons and our daughters
Cut down and taken from us
In cold blood
Can noone stop the slaughter?
For the love of god
They're killing them all
In cold blood

In cold blood

Everyone

We talk, but never say the words
Those thoughts seldom can be heard
We walked much further than we planned
And now I don't understand

We're wandering far from home
A voyage to the unknown
We don't know where we've gone
Or what is left to come
Its the same for everyone

And now, the world's at our command...
Still this emptiness in every woman, every man
We're searching
We don't know what we'll find
When we get there
How will we recognize the signs?

We're searching far from home
So connected, so alone 
We don't know where we've gone
Or what is left to come
Its the same for everyone
The same for everyone

Everyone

Waiting

I've been waiting here for a while
Watched the clock hands cross the dial
Waiting while the hours go by
I've been waiting here for a while
Traced the sun across the sky
Waiting while the day goes by

Suddenly, you got too close to me
And I'm petrified
Such as me don't deserve to be
With you by my side

So close the curtains, hide the day
Make the sunlight go away
Waiting while the weeks go by
Pile the dishes in the sink
Search the empties for a drink
Waiting while the months go by

Suddenly you got too close to me
And I'm petrified
Such as me don't deserve to be
With you by my side

You ring the doorbell one more time
Come to the window, look inside
You're waiting while the world goes by
It goes by...

You were waiting here for a while
There was no answer
No last goodbye
Now I'm waiting while my life goes by

Waiting

More than we can know

Someone made a statement
They showed who's in control
The blood stains on the pavement
Broken bodies, broken skulls
All the dear departed
Who found so many ways to leave
But we all enter in the same way
The same air that we all breathe

The beggars on the beaches
Who look up to the skies
To the houses of the richest
Where they store their trophy wives

There must be more that we can know
More than we can know

We're silting up the rivers
We're ripping up the trees
We're poisoning the waters
We're doing what we please
Cos we gotta keep on moving
Or we'll all be left behind
We gotta keep consuming
Pushing boundaries, crossing lines

The beggars on the beaches
Who look up to the skies
To the houses of the richest
While the slums metastasize

There must be more that we can know
More than we can know

Gotta keep on drinking
Every Friday night
Why don't you entertain us?
Cos we're looking for a fight
We're looking out for someone
Someone we can despise
Who's looking for a beating
Within an inch of their lives

There must be more that we can know
More than we can know

All the bloodshed, the battles
The brutal saber rattlers
The fences, the borders
The conquerors, marauders
The mayhem, the slaughter
Our sons and our daughters
The dead who came before us
The ones that now haunt us
What have we learned
What has it brought us?

There must be more that we can know
More than we can know

More than we can know

Written in New Orleans 2017
=====================

Lil' one

Hey Little One, I watched you grow
From knee high, tip to toe
I cared for you more than you know
Now its time to let you go

Oh so put aside those childish things
Oh the time has come to spread your wings

This town gave you all its got
Now its boarded shopfronts, empty lots
Raised on liquor, hooked on slots
Noone here could stop the rot

Oh so leave behind all you once knew
Oh little One you'll start anew
The time has come to start anew
Little One you'll start anew

Down the river to the creek
Moonlight shimmers, fireflies leap
That first kiss, you'll always keep
Wondering why it cut so deep

Oh so leave it all behind
Oh no turning back for you this time
Don't give no warning, write no note
Just leave one morning, hit that road
Head on down that open road
You'll head on down that open road

Lil' one

This song is dedicated to my Uncle John on his 90th Birthday.  

A tribute to my home country that gave me so much. 

"Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"


America

First came the ones in all the old songs of the West
They lived off the land, made their home in the wide wilderness
Felt the rain, heard the thunder, watched the buffalo wander 'cross the plains
Till they passed into memory, they were never seen again
And all the people cried up to the spirit in the sky

Then came a ship from the East, and then there were more
For god and country, adventurer, conquistador
They sought fame and fortune and traded in blood for gold
To lay at the feet of their kings in the empires of old
And all the people there, there was no one would be spared
When they came to America

Then came the settler, the pilgrim, the pioneer
Searching for gold and for silver, they built the frontier
The gunman, the preacher, the slaver, the overseer
Men sold like cattle; their freedom it cost them dear
And all the people there, well they just stood and they stared
When they came to America
They came to America
They came to America

Then came the railroads, the trainloads heading West
Searching for something more, never settling for less
The builder, the trader, the thinker, they all came here
On a wing and a prayer, and a dream, a big idea
And all the people there, they had a dream that we all share
When we come to America
America, America
We come to America
We come to America
We look to America

America

Happy Easter/passover or whatever it is! Another sadly submerged vocal mix on the Zoom H4N, despite the best efforts of Marcus JB, I might add, who made a heroic effort to correct the deficiencies! Ho hum. It is what it is. An ode to the best things in life..or should I say the best thing in my life! Update: another try to rerecord the vocal but still too low. *sigh*. Must strum less hard! :)


The quickening

Every hour of every day
Such a thirst for life
It won’t go away 
I see the world
Through different eyes
You brought me back again
Brought me back to life 
This life is your life is our life revealed
Can you feel? 
You know its real
We feel the quickening

You're at the door, I cross the hall
My feet never touch the ground with you at all
You’re a blazing sun, a soaking rain
Feels like lightning bolts coursing through my veins
This life is your life is our life revealed
Can you feel? 
You know its real
Can you see
We feel the quickening

The laughter, the tears
The losses, the years
The loves that we we cried for
The ones we sacrificed for
I will love you in the morning
With the sunlight in your hair
In the quiet of the room 
When there's nobody there
I’ll love you in the winter
With the chilblains on your lips 
The snowflakes on our tongues 
And our frozen fingertips
I’ll love you in the summer
In the gentle rains of spring
When the autumn crickets murmur
Every moment that we’re in 
My heart that is pounding
Outside my chest
As we sway through the evening
And I’m pressed to your dress
Oh the stars wheel above us
They're lighting up the sky 
like a super nova
Never let this day be over
I feel the quickening
With you I feel the quickening
Never let this day be over
With you I feel the quickening

The quickening

A rainy Monday morning in NY. You can hear it pelting down in the background. As I waited for the downpour before I'm off to work, I picked up the Yamaha and put this down. One for those near and dear to us!


Where the heart is

You won't amount to much
That's what they said, or some such...
You'll never make the grade
The die is cast, the mold is made

But don't you falter, don't you fall
You'll make them see, show them all
No matter what they say
We're with you come what may
Its where our heart is
Where our heart is
Where our heart is
Its with you
Its with you
With you

So take that jump, make that leap
No wall too high, no slope too steep
No matter what they say
We're with you all the way
Its where our heart is
You're where our heart is
Where our heart is
Its with you
With you

Where the heart is

So it goes

Yesterday is but a memory
There is no going back
To where we once were at
How we used to be

Those truths, words that fell like blows
No taking back what's said
No bringing back the dead
For you and me

Cos everybody knows
That nothing ever lasts
All things must come to pass into memory
Thats how its meant to be
And so it goes

What once was, what was will always be
The secrets that we shared, 
The dreams, the hopes, the prayers
Love unconditionally

But everybody knows
That nothing ever lasts
All things must come to pass eventually
And all that we can ask is love and joy and pain and jealousy
That's how its always been
And so it goes

So it goes

This one has been percolating for a while. I was always kind of fascinated by Christopher McCandless and his odyssey into the hinterlands of Alaska. A tortured soul to be sure. The movie 'Into the Wild' really stuck with me. I am starting to read the book. But I wrestle with some of the same questions (although god knows I am too much of a coward to follow his path). So this one is for all those out there trying to live their life right. 

PS Still too lazy to restring the guitar. It is a disgrace. But have a heart,  its 100 degrees outside which would play havoc with new strings




Give it away

Well it seems to me that people came and went
Maybe they made their mark on history
All the takers and oathbreakers, the faithless widowmakers
Who never knew what love could be
They never cared that much for anything
They never knew what a life well lived could be

So give
So give
So give
You gotta give it
You gotta give it all away

Well you speak to me
Of a life well spent
Far away from here
That's where I wanna be
Away from all we know
That's where I wanna go


So give
So give
So give
You gotta give it
You gotta give it all away

Give it away

I've been thinking about history a lot lately. I don't know why...but recent events impelled me to finish this song. 

Oh...and its in D minor. The most beautiful of keys. :) 
Photograph: Fabrizio Bensch


Berlin Wall

Thunder subsiding, a storm about to break
Waiting for the cloudburst, longing to awake
Every generation making its mistakes
There will come a big day
There will come a big day

Running down the avenues
The quiet city streets
Looking o'er your shoulder
Afraid of who you'll meet
With each denunciation
Betrayal is complete
There will come a big day
There will come a big day

Thunder subsiding, a storm about to break
Waiting for the cloudburst, longing to awake
Every generation has its choice to make 
There has come a big day
There has come a big day

Berlin wall

Some time since I wrote a throwaway summer ditty! Oh all the magical mistakes we make... Mrs OBE: I always knew you were an 'ol faker!

===============
Fake it

In a heart beat, you really bowled me over
Made my heart leap, you turned my whole world over
Its a long, long time
Since you blew my mind
And I don't know if I can take it
I don't know if I can make it
I don't know if we can fake it anymore
Anymore

Felt the sea breeze blowing on our faces
And your sunbeams warmed up my hidden places
Its a long, long road
With its highs and lows
And I don't know if we can make it
I don't know if we can take it
I don't know if we can fake it anymore
Anymore

Fake it

I like to think I’m an optimist. I try listen rather than open my big gob all the time but I don’t listen like i should. 

i want this song to be true. But I don't see a lot of other people listening these days either.. Songs, truths, facts, fine words and sentiments don't seem to make much of an impact anymore.

Happy New Year everyone..

=========

Bridge the divide

Hold on tight to the loves in your life
All the feuds and the fights
Who was wrong and who was right
We’ll leave it all behind

All I know is when we’re standing side by side 
We can bridge the divide

One nation, two tribes 
So far apart, yet so alike
If we’d open up our hearts
If we’d open up our minds
And put all these differences aside

All I know is when we’re standing side by side
All this pain, we can leave it all behind
All this time, it seemed our worlds collide
But we can heal, start again, be reconciled
We can bridge the divide

(Reprise)
Nothing ever lasts forever
Find a way to come together
Father, mother, sister, brother
Holding onto one another

Bridge the divide

All there is

Holding out for something more than this
More than I've known
Cos all the doubts and fears
Found me out 
Left me all alone

Too afraid to push the open door
What the hell am I searching for
If that's all there is?
If that's all there is?

Give me second sight
Teach me to see the light
The error of my ways
Cos all my life 
It seems I've lived a lie
To make it through my days

Too afraid to push the open door
What the hell are we searching  for?
If that's all there is
If that's all there is...

All the anger, all the rage,
All the hate, the wars we wage
All the pain, all the hunger
All the suffering, makes me wonder if I'm...

Holding out for something more than this
More than I've known
Cos all my life it seems I've lived a lie
Left here on my  own
Then you came around
Showed me there's more to life
What its all about
There's no regrets, no I won't forget
What it is we found
That's not all there is
That's not all there is

All the anger, all the rage,
All the hate, the wars we wage
All the pain, all the hunger
All the suffering, makes me wonder
All naming all the shaming
All the people found to blame
All the liars all the takers
All the haters 
That's not all there is...

All there is

Years trying to get clean water to drink in Flint
------------

A hard life, a tough existence
Just  getting by, try to go the distance
A dead-end job; youre paid a pittance
You scrimp and save, it doesn't make a difference

Oh, you keep keeping on
Oh, but we all know
We know what's going on
What's going on

Cash in a bag, poison in the water
They pipe it in to our sons and daughters
Who calls the tune, pays the piper
Toxic fumes, a river choked by diapers

Oh, they say nothing's wrong
Oh, but we all know
We know what's going on
We know right from wrong

The cancer came, ate out your insides
Bills to pay, collectors by the bedside
It'll take you years, maybe a lifetime
To pay them down, leave you on the breadline


Oh, you're not the only one 
Oh, cos we all know
We know what's going on
What's going on
We all know what's going on 
They all know what's right from wrong
But still they carry on

We know what's going on

Welcome to my dusty and flyblown corner of SoundCloud! What a wonderful thing it is that SC provides a home for my roughs...These are originals on a battered ol Yamaha guitar...and a ZOOM H4N recorder! Be warned...only very rough! 

I record songs stripped down to the bones...in the vague hope that a really good song will still come across that way. Thank you everyone who comes to my channel and listens...even just for a little while.

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