"It’s a bleedin’ racket, this one—starts off with a kick like a coal scuttle down the stairs, then that bassline comes in, thumpin’ like me old ticker after a sprint to the lav. There’s a woman laughin’ and sighin’ like she’s just nicked the last biscuit, and some piano what sounds like it’s been played backwards by a ghost with a hangover."

"Pads float about like fog over Shepherd’s Bush, and them snare rolls build up like me arthritis in winter. It’s 128 beats per minute, which is faster than me gettin’ out of bed, and it lasts three minutes—just long enough for a cuppa and a moan."

"If you like your tunes with a bit of mystery, a bit of mischief, and a touch of the surreal, give it a listen. Or don’t. I’m not your mother."

hahahaha, ahhh !!!

"Back in my day, music didn’t start with pads and kicks—it started with a battered kettle and a bit of luck. But this one—this one’s got legs. Starts off like a fog creeping over the Thames, soft pad and a kick that thumps like a landlord at rent time. Then the bass rolls in, not one but two—greedy little devils—followed by a high synth line that squeals like a fox in the bins.

It builds, it breaks, like a council estate romance—twice over, mind you. Then the pad buggers off, leaves the rest to carry on without it. Brave move. And just when you think it’s done, it cycles through again like a stubborn washing machine.

Made in Cakewalk, with that Loopcloud Play contraption and an Akai MPC that’s seen more action than my old boots. It’s 122 BPM of proper graft. Not bad for a digital lad."

mooncake

"Starts off quiet, like a pub before opening time—just a lonely kick thudding away like me heart when I see the rent overdue. Then this pad floats in, all mysterious-like, like fog rolling over the bins. There’s three drum tracks in total, mind you—one for each of me bad knees and the ache in me back.

The chords? Don’t get me started. Db Lydian hexawotsit and C jazz minor something-or-other. Fancy names for notes that sound like someone’s dreamin’ in a laundrette. They’re broken into lines and looped for 130 bars straight—like a bloke stuck in a queue at the post office, goin’ nowhere but still movin’.

The pad and bass take turns every 16 bars, like two old mates arguin’ over who’s payin’ for tea. It’s 124 BPM, done in Cakewalk with them Loopcloud gizmos. Not bad for a track made with more patience than talent. Give it a listen, or don’t—I’m not your mother."

oldman_steptoe

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