"ashes" originally made 2-22-21

im over my fears

I'm gonna start this very simple and with absolute truth - im not a pedophile. I barely knew the person who called me out, I didn't even know their name, I had no interest in pictures, no interest in finding out who they were irl, the conversations were short and I forgot about them barely a year later, like most conversations I had at that time with strangers. the second time around they reached out, I didn't even remember they were the same person let alone how old they were. the biggest mistake I made was putting myself in a space and community where there was no age control or consideration of anybody's background on a daily basis. i was maybe a year right out of high school, I am not perfect.

I've spent almost every week of the last year attending behavioral therapy, pushing myself through some very dark spaces addressing my own past traumas. I refuse to spill every detail about my life and childhood, but the biggest thing I've learned is that I'm not a self hating monster who purposefully seeks out hurting children. I refuse to be that image people think I am, I've worked so fucking hard this last year to figure myself out and I have no regrets about where I am now mentally. I made mistakes, I addressed them, I'm very proud of how far I've come. I don't care if anyone believes me or forgives me or whatever! have your own mindset, thats perfectly great. I think being tossed out of the communities I had been involved in like trash was infinitely for the better, looking back at how fucking nasty and awful some of those people are. I'm glad I didn't hurt myself and to be honest, I never will and it only gets better from here.

I'm not a monster, I'm going to continue making what I love, and I'll keep working to be a better person despite the ashes in my past. I probably won't continue omnipony other than small tidbits, but for those that know my truth, I'm happy to have you along the journey

god bless✌️

ashes 3.1

𝘢 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘳𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘢 𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘯,
𝘢 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘩, 𝘱𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘷𝘢𝘪𝘯.
𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘭𝘰𝘯𝘨 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘢𝘪𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘦?
𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳 𝘮𝘺 𝘯𝘢𝘮𝘦?

𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦 𝘸𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘰𝘥,
𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘵𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘢𝘴𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯.
𝘺𝘦𝘵 𝘴𝘵𝘪𝘭𝘭, 𝘢𝘴 𝘪 𝘸𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥 𝘤𝘳𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦 𝘢𝘸𝘢𝘺
𝘪 𝘳𝘦𝘮𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘨𝘢𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘯, 𝘶𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘥.

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