verse1                                                             
21, the age that I fear                                    
But I am 18 yrs old I don't know what to feel           
listening to the songs I loved                            
On top of the rooftop, feeling so ill                      

verse2
When I will be the person I am?
one more move, I'll be in college and working like them.
thank goodness, I didn't end up like him
Dropped out in high school, having kids, and no fill.

pre-chorus
it's hard, so hard. I kept recalling all stuff that I did
It hurts, it really hurts. like a knife

chorus                                                    
One more time                                           
I guess, ill make it fine this time                      
Take my hand and spare me with your words                  
I know im not that good enough to be who I am  

I'll break it off
the barrier inside of my mind
I will try my best to open up
I've been struggling with it my whole life           

verse3
8 bottles of alcohol
drinking while im sobbing, I feel so pathetic
highschool days were too good for me
right now I feel so lonely, in 2 years from now

pre-chorus
it's hard, so hard. I kept recalling all stuff that I did
It hurts, it really hurts. like a knife

chorus                                                 
One more time                                              
I guess, ill make it fine this time                       
Take my hand and spare me with your words                  
I know im not that good enough to be who I am               

I'll break it off
the barrier inside of my mind
I will try my best to open up
I've been struggling with it my whole life

bridge:
My life is like a cigarette, smoking all the way
The ashes represented the wasted time in my life
One more sip, I promise, I will be okay
Cause every time I reflect, the past remains

Instrumental

chorus:
One more time
I guess, ill make it fine this time
Take my hand and spare me with your words
I know im not that good enough to be who I am

I'll break it off
the barrier inside of my mind
I will try my best to open up
I've been struggling with it my whole life

A Secondhand Trauma, I'll See Myself in a Coma

Cigarettes (Demo)

recorded&mixed: Ordinary Summer

[verse1]
laying on the grass
trying to feel this moment
while the wind is crashing
on me, trying to feel nostalgic

[verse2]
watching the night sky
the stars are shining bright
my head is going light
Its time to sleep, kiss goodnight

[pre-chorus]
It’s time to fly
In the sky
It’s time to fly
In the sky

[verse3]
Why would I go
fight all night with myself
I already let go,
cuz I wanted to be alone

[verse4]
What a life I have
It’s painful and soothing
I don’t need to figure it out
We’re all just bunch of nobodies

[chorus]
I wanna waste my time 
Cuz this feeling is getting high
I wanna go out all night
nobody but else but me, all night

Euphoric Solitude
Hoh~ hoh~ hohh~~ Oh~ oh~ ohh~~ ohh~~~
The stars are glowing bright
Remembering this night of mine

[Verse 5]
Breath In and out
This cold air
Im so far,
far away 

[Verse 6]
From the distance of the clouds 
in the sky (Flying high~)
I want to make this feeling forever and ever
a peace of mind would make things wide enough
 
[pre-chorus]
It’s time to fly
In the sky
It’s time to fly
In the sky

[Chorus]
I wanna waste my time 
Cuz this feeling is getting high
I wanna go out all night
nobody but else but me, all night

Euphoric Solitude
Hoh~ hoh~ hohh~~ Oh~ oh~ ohh~~ ohh~~~
The stars are glowing bright
Remembering this night of mine

[Instrumental]

[Chorus]
I wanna waste my time 
Cuz this feeling is getting high
I wanna go out all night
nobody but else but me, all night

Euphoric Solitude
Hoh~ hoh~ hohh~~ Oh~ oh~ ohh~~ ohh~~~
The stars are glowing bright
Remembering this night of mine

Take me to the sky tonight
All i want is to get so high
So just take me to the sky tonight
oh~ ohh~ ohh~~~ ohhh~~ ohhh~~~

[Fade]

euphoric solitude

Hey, it's me.
Your friend,
your fam,
your hope.
I'm here,
I'll stay just a little time

i know that you've been feeling lonely and tired lately,
but better hope that things will get better

What is hope?
I guess when our mind asks us something like that, the answer will always be "Its God, its a family, its a friend, its a person, its a dream"

but the way i see it,
is that you have to keep living and wait to go out from its suffering.

im overwhelmed by things, things that people have high hopes

i feel so disgusted with myself for being a hopeless person.

i dont know what's going on inside of my head right now.

but what i do know is that i can make myself a path that can either lead into a disaster that will hammer my life again or sacrifice something inside of me so i can metamorphic like a butterfly that fly in the sky....

its so beautiful, it's touching, it makes me want to cry after thinking about something like that...

my inside is like a jar, trying to bottle up.
so that my eyes wont shed like a waterfall

but my eyebrows look so frowned,
my eyes are trying to let their tears out,
and my throat hurts like im getting strangled by my emotions

of all the things i have said, i wish i could just turn back in time and give my little self a big advise

he might not handle it,
but he will always remember it...

hope is always there...
it was never a person, a god, a thing...

its just there inside of my head...
i was the one who'll be adjusting things so i can reach HOPE again... and again, and again...

hope

Ang dereksyon ko sa buhay na toh
lampas nanaman, lampas nanaman
ang kulay nang mundo ay nawala
sana’y ako nalang ang nawala

nagpakita na ang aking takot
nagtago muli sa sariling dilim
wala ng pag-asa sa aking sarili
pagod sa lahat, pero hindi bumigay

patuloy padin ako sa aking pinaggagawa
ang aking mga sugat hindi parin nawawala
gustong gusto na sumuko ang aking katawan
dahil ang isip ko ay na puno nang kamatayan  

(eto nanaman pinagdadaanan ko)

”Ilang beses ko na ba sinasabi ito saiyo,
kahit sobrang hirap ka na ma-buhay sa mundo?”
”naging itim at puti ang iyong paningin,
pero ang hindi mo alam na may kulay parin”

”sa mundo na kung saan ka humihinga ngayon,
nabulag ka nanaman nang iyong depresyon!”
napagtanto ko na may pag-asa padin ako,
ibubuka ko ang aking mga pakpak at lilipad palayo 

sa aking kadiliman…


TAMA NA!
AYOKO NA!
ANGSAKIT NA!
PLEASE, WAG NA!

SUKO NA!
SOBRA NA!
BAKIT!
NABUHAY PA!

nahulog na anghel

i think its time to reconcile
cus I've been having alot of stuff inside of my mind
now that i am left behind,
there is nothing to be fixed cuz iam fucked

every time. i felt im just a tool
every people that I've met  kept their hands on me
im so sick of all the things
my world is  turning over, now i realized

im just here, to exist
to suffer from these things 

im just here, to fix
someone's life, but not mine

i have become the tool to be used
i dont feel so worthy to flee

who i am to speak all of these
from my mind that has been so weak

i can't find myself again
nowhere to be found deep inside my thoughts

i'll cry, i'll die
i'll cry, i'll die
i'll cry, i'll die
i'll cry, i'll die

i'll cry, i'll die

avalanche

sometimes, you gotta be chill and free
you shouldn't stay on a one particular thing

ordinary summer

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