journeys

The Wait Killed Me

The Weight Is The Agony

no samples
guitars by 1080p dreams
prod. @prodbyglacier

LYRICS:

laying in my bed, once again
trying to convince myself
that all those times we shared didn't mean that much to me
like every pointless afternoon in your room
watching your dvd collection
i always failed to mention that your favorite movies are dumb
and i hate them
but i still love you
even though you left me feeling lonely, empty and confused
what the fuck was that about?
now i'm trying to find a lesson
but i'm stuck with all these questions 
at a dead end
and i'm stressing
it's depressing cause i feel like i lost my best friend
do you know that feeling too?
and no, i'm not naive
i know you have your reasons
and i'll try my best to see them
and not be bitter and resentful
but i couldn't help think of our potential
couldn't you see it too?
i guess not
now everything we were is just an overused melody
everything we were is just me singing loud out of key
everything we were is just an overused melody
in this shitty song that i created when i was sad and all alone
(sorry about last summer when i broke your heart into a thousand pieces, just wait until wintertime to see if you'll be okay)

i'm sorry about last summer(prod. by glacier)

prod. @tothegood

LYRICS:

...and I've been feeling worse as each day passes by
Got lost in my head, couldn't stop questioning why
Trying to fill the holes of this existence
How did this story start? Where does it end?

God slammed the door on me again
I banged on it and begged "please let me in"
The universe is such a fucked up place
It slammed its door right in my face
x2

and I've been feeling numb as the weeks pass by me
I'm thinking that this hole's too deep to dig out of
Will anybody help me square this circle?
Fuck my life, I even ditched the dress rehearsal

I'm trying to find the meaning for why my heart is beating
Still searching for the reason as to why I'm even breathing

God slammed the door on me again
I banged on it and begged "please let me in"
The universe is such a fucked up place
It slammed its door right in my face
x2

and I've been feeling worse as each day passes by
Got lost in my head, couldn't stop questioning why
Trying to fill the holes of this existence
Am I the only one here who thinks that none of this makes sense?

Help me understand my purpose
and everything that led me to be here
I lie awake and wonder if any of this matters...

I DM'd God and got left on seen (prod. tothegood)

video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OaDzIt_QP8

prod. 1080p dreams

lyrics:

slit my wrists and smash my phone
don't want anyone to text me 
let me suffer on my own
I'll board up the doors of my home
turn the basement to a boneyard
like the Paris catacombs

I keep on staying hidden like a stowaway
I think my life was probably the most useless thing I've thrown away
once aspired to make music that left people blown away
now I'm dropping all these mediocre tracks that no one plays
and everybody's throwing shade
wondering if anyone will miss me when I go away
my demise came through with no delay
you live like there's no tomorrow, I'll die like there's no today

slit my wrists and smash my phone
don't want anyone to text me 
let me suffer on my own
I'll board up the doors of my home
turn the basement to a boneyard
like the Paris catacombs

embarrassed by the self-destructive shit that I've indulged in
when I say I'm cutting, it's not coming after bulking
posted up in my room where you'll find me sulking 
home alone making trap shit like a young Macaulay Culkin
it's been forever since I lost my way
somebody tell all these British people that I'm not okay 
every single good thing that I ever had got tossed away
they said one day things would be better, I guess it's not today

all these haunting thoughts that slither through my mind
leave me feeling broken and send shivers down my spine
and if I think back, I can remember a time
when I felt semi-hopeful but now I'm left for dead with no more lifelines

slit my wrists and smash my phone
don't want anyone to call me
let me suffer all alone
I'll board up the doors of my home
turn the basement to a boneyard
like the Paris catacombs

Stream on Spotify

smash my phone (visuals in description)

ft. @kingtheta

prod. @kelykabbage and 1080p dreams

lyrics:

1080p dreams:

My comfort zone gets smaller everyday 
My comfort zone gets smaller

missing breaths
rapid heartbeat in my chest
now my body's dripping sweat
feeling like I missed a step 
walking down a flight of stairs
fight or flight
my mind is scared 
cause it doesn't know how I will land 
so dismayed
cause it just won't go away
feeling like I've gotten trapped 
knowing that there's no escape
fear is pumping through my veins
and my body's so afraid
plagued by things I'll never understand

that feeling of sudden impending doom won't find me in my room
a sanctuary place to hide away

I'm sorry I don't really wanna stay
Guess I'll be on my way
My comfort zone gets smaller everyday 
x2

My comfort zone gets smaller everyday
My comfort zone gets smaller

king theta:

You can tell
By how I carry myself
That I'm not doing too well
Inside my skull I'm in hell
Wishing that I didn't care
Tripping over every stare
Quitting, I don't wanna share
Not at ease anywhere
This is the reason for every single addiction
I keep believing delusional mental fiction
I would be sleeping, but can't without a prescription
Call me king is a contradiction

1080p dreams:

that feeling of sudden impending doom just found me in my room
I'm bracing cause I know there's hell to pay

I'm sorry I don't really wanna stay
Guess I'll be on my way
My comfort zone gets smaller everyday 
x2

It gets smaller
My comfort zone gets smaller everyday 
My comfort zone gets smaller
my anxiety gets stronger everyday 
and my comfort zone gets smaller

would you believe me when I say that I'm tortured?
I'm inside of hell
magma rain keeps on pouring down
my demons got me pegged in a corner
If life was a movie, I would say that it's horror now

comfort zone ft. king theta (prod. k3lykabbage & 1080p dreams)

ft. @steadysuffer & @violeteyezmusic

prod. @mothfries

lyrics:

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me one time
collapsing to the floor and it isn't even lunch time
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

banging my head against the wall
I just don't wanna feel anything at all
I'm getting ready for the fall 
spiking my own drinks with the methyl alcohol
always burdened by my actions
can't stop dwelling on all my past awkward social interactions
convince myself they never happened
memories I try to just pretend that I imagined
this throbbing vein in my temple is making me tremble
it's painful and stressful
I'm up late trying to wrestle with voices
my shoulders have an angel and devil
he's so good at persuasion
but my angel's trying to save me from this hyperventilation 
she gave me a paper bag for respiration
he handed me a plastic one that I could suffocate in

steadysuffer:

ya you told me i was nothing like they said
you told me I was better off dead
now i gotta pull up to the function all red
pull the trigger now i'm dead
(ya ah)

she don't wanna talk no more
pedal to the metal & the suicide doors
got a coper on my ass so i kick it in sport
no breaks just gas cause life is short

i'm sippin lean all day
and my sprite bottle lookin like a goddamn grape
get the fuck up out my way 
don't tell me we're the same
i'm in another state with my shawty on facetime

ya I ain't been on a date in a long time
if I fuck up i'll accuse her
you must think i'm a loser 
if i can't keep a conversation 
i'm sorry

violeteyez:

Where are you? And I'm so sorry
I was too depressed to go to your grad party
And now I watch your new boyfriend 
pick you up on the back of his brand new Harley
Well, Barbie girl, do you miss me?
He's got a chopper and I got a 6 speed
So what is it this week? Who are you kissing?
Am I insane, or could this time be different?

And I know you'll cover it up like you do
You left your morals with your clothes: in my bedroom
And I promise that I didn't take all this-
lightly, though you tried to slip it by me
I just need some time, so sit tight, please
emotions give me anxiety

1080p dreams:

I still feel your blade from getting stabbed in the back
every day sets the stage for a panic attack
I wake up in the morning, don't know how to react
so my mind slowly builds to a panic attack
it just hit me two times
I'm in the ER and it's only half past noontime
I woke up this morning, didn't know how to react
my whole life's like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
like a never-ending panic attack
no more serenity, I'll never end up getting it back

panic attack ft. steadysuffer & violeteyez (prod. mothfries)

ft. @bradyamour
artwork by @proddeegs

no samples
prod. 1080p dreams

lyrics:

1080p dreams:
life is cold 
yeah so I zip my coat up
my music blows 
yeah I won't ever blow up
if I did a show
I bet no one would show up
other artists glow 
yeah everyone else glow'd up
I watched my friends grow
now they're all grown ups
I'm a child still
band hoodie from cold cuts
aging sucks
mother nature should slow up
life gets colder 
so I zip my coat up
living the life of the biggest loser in the world
made fun of by every boy and girl
question my whole identity
like was I ever meant to be?
feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream
where everyone shines except me

Brady Amour:
I guess I can't believe it's not me
(guess I don't believe anything)
unsatisfied with my dreams
(nothing you say matters to me)
I come close every time but I lose it
wake up and face my bruises
if it was up to me
I'd turn my back on you

1080p dreams:
question my whole identity
like was I ever meant to be?
feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream
where everyone shines except me
curse out my own identity
like I was never meant to be
feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream
where everyone shines except me
everyone shines except me
everyone shines except -
everyone shines except me
everyone shines except - 
everyone shines except me
everyone shines except - 
everyone shines except me
everyone shines except - 
living the life of the biggest loser in the world
question my whole identity
like was I ever meant to be?
feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream
where everyone shines except -
curse out my own identity
like I was never meant to be
feels like I'm stuck in a bad dream
where everyone shines except me
open my eyes, what do I see?
my dream is just reality
I can't contain my jealousy
cause everyone shines except me

everyone shines except me ft. Brady Amour

artwork by @proddeegs

no samples
prod. 1080p dreams

lyrics:
I'm an extra with no lines
you'll forget me in no time
I'm the b-sides to an album that you don't even care for
I'm the guy who you vaguely recognize while walking down the street 
but you can't remember where from
thinking "did he cut my hair once?"
I'm everybody's least favorite
you won't find me in any playlists
everybody's least favorite 
and I know that I'm never gonna make it
I'm everybody's least favorite
but way too irrelevant to be hated
never in anyone's playlists
and I'll always be everybody's least favorite
I know I'll never blow up
my time has already passed
everyone who was going to get popular from making this type of music already has
now the market has been overflooded with all these soundcloud artists who sound more or less the same
and I'm just at the tail end of this stale trend
what a shame
I'm everybody's least favorite
you won't find me in any playlists
everybody's least favorite 
and I know that I'm never gonna make it
I'm everybody's least favorite
but way too irrelevant to be hated
never in anyone's playlists
and I'll always be everybody's least favorite
you think you may have seen my name in the related tracks of a 93feetofsmoke song 
but you didn't listen
you didn't listen
least favorite
I'm everybody's least favorite
you won't find me in any playlists
everybody's least favorite
and I know that I'm never gonna make it
I'm everybody's least favorite
left me lying bloody on the pavement
was it all for your entertainment? 
or did you just not care enough to say shit?
I know I will always be your absolutely least favorite
I'm your least favorite

least favorite

prod. hayden

lyrics:
I had a dream last night that it was just me and you
and we were listening to eurodance songs in your bedroom
and I was in the best mood
woke up disillusioned wondering where it all went to
all of the things that brought me joy before
don't make me feel the same way anymore
watched all my hopes and dreams go out the door
and felt serotonin fall through the floor
I had a dream that they brought back the exhibition 
and we were hanging out right by the aberdeen pavilion
entranced by all the bright lights and the loud sounds
and they were playing eurodance songs in the background
we kept going on the pharaoh ride 
always in the furthest back seat so we would get the most high
I barely noticed the time go by
and I hoped this moment won't die
I had a dream last night that it was just me and you
and we were listening to eurodance songs in your bedroom
all of the things that brought me joy before
don't make me feel the same way anymore
watched all my hopes and dreams go out the door
and felt serotonin fall through the floor
all of the monsters underneath my bed
have gotten deep inside my head
I'm trying but I'm barely hanging by a thread
so much weaker after the virus spread

journeys

orkid

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