i did this rough demo on garageband when i was in dieta in Peru for 2 months in near isolation, healing some really deep stuff. i didn't have any instruments, but luckily i was able to charge my laptop a few times to tinker with this song that came to me in one of the ayahuasca ceremonies.  

i had no mic other than my macbook pro speakers.  the crickets are real--no walls in the jungle, just screens on the casita i was living in.  i was trying to sing quietly because i was 500 feet away from someone else in dieta isolation and wanted to be respectful. so i had the record volume ALL the way up and it captured crickets as loud as my subdued vocal.  i've never really put out a rough demo before, and never sung this quietly and gently on a track.  and usually i have a piano or guitar, so this is new for me.  the production wanted to be super minimal, and about a gentle but prominent vocal.  hope you enjoy <3

I just wanna love (demo)

I create me 4:24:23, 10.56 AM

It’s a voice memo of me playing piano and singing live

Double Life

Lyrics:

I don't know how to separate me from you
After we get as close as we do
I'm not coming up for air
Oxygen just can't compare
When you say my dark is beautiful

I don't know how to distance my heart from you
Though you always leave me black and blue
I'm alive when you're running through my veins
Thought I'd moved on, but nothing's changed
I'm starving, and unable to restrain

Don't tell me I'm too much, that it's not love
I can't get enough of your flesh and blood

I don't know how to separate you from me
There's nobody else I'd rather make me bleed
You held me when the demons come
Like I've never seen from anyone
Could you feel a little deeper before you run?

Clawing at your skin, trying to get deeper inside
Saying "I love you" to justify myself
Thirsty for the very thing that can sustain your life
Am I addicted or am I under your spell?

Help me get it right
I'm running out of time

I'd give it all for your flesh and blood

PANTHYR