So this was a quick jam on Fawmsday morning using Funk Drummer, iMini , Sunrizer and Geoshred all recorded into Loopy, transplanted into Nanostudio and arranged, and samples added as ususal.

Honeymonster

Can there be any greater symbol of the idiocy of advertising than the whole trope of women laughing with salad. 

Women laughing alone with salad

One of the most bizarre and incomprehensible adverts of all time - Kia Ora, too orangey for crows. Obviously the advert was constructed by KGB Neuroscientists though because anyone who was ever exposed to it can remember the damned thing. Anyway - I always hated the laid back tune so here is my TechnoPunk version of the thing.

I'll be your dog

I was a little stuck today so I called upon that multi talented hosiery Sokpupit to collaborate with me on this track. Thanks Woolly guy! 
This piece features (I think) Anthony Head again as the evil voiceover for the death dealing tobacco company, and for you Breaking Bad fans Walter White provides the coughing and wheezing! 

Happiness is a tumour called Hamlet

This was one of those quick and dirty tracks that comes together really fast. I had been trying to use the classic Ferero Rocher advert where the actress with the worst French accent in acting history says "Monsieur, Wiz zis Rocher you are rreally spoiling us!" - a catchphrase that, sadly, is still uttered in the PoD family every time someone offers anyone significant quantities of chocolate, food, drink, or anything else come to think about it. However the advertisers of Ferero Rocher in the '80s were incredibly selfish and did not consider the sampling requirements of a baldy music hack 30 years in the fuuture, the bastards, the famous line itself is almost drowned in pesky music and background noise... so the intro phrase will have to so.

The Ambassador likes to slip shit into the choccies

Thicko apocalypse!

Ha haa ha, rescued by Russians, all we can do is make fun of their amazingly good english and feed them cheap nasty port. Aspirational advertising from 80s UK, at its snobby best.

Moss cock

The legend that is Tom Baker struggling to read a dreadful advert script.. Set to cheesy jazz. 

Doctor who the f*ck!

no rundown of adverts could be complete without a nod to the advertising juggernaut that was the Fairy Advertising campaign.

Soapy Women

Those evil bastards at the Malteser advertising company - they made me believe that maltesers were not like real chocolate, but light and airy. They had ballerinas advertising them for goodness sakes - and everyone knows they only eat tissue paper! Now I am like Augustus Gloop...mmm....nom..nom... but these don't count... mmm... so light.... like chocolaty lettuce....

Fatty Rationalization

yes, when I were't lad TV would end at midnight and tell you all to go to bed. 

Closedown

4th time FAWMer - my FAWM page is at http://fawm.org/fawmers/pantsofdeath 
my main Soundcloud page https://soundcloud.com/pantsofdeath

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