from the lost mixtape

artwork by @crclrthots on twitter

gone so long (prod. Taylor Morgan + Brody)

loneliness consumes me
all i see are spirits i'm abusing
i feel like a ghost am i translucent?
life is getting old
should i just do it?

every night i dream about a perfect end like hemingway
i got nothing left to say
i'm always drawing a blank
feels like i'll never fit
abstract shape
can't look in the mirror cuz i hate my face
i been drinking so much
cuz without that i can't depend on anything

i feel like a ghost

loneliness consumes me (prod. taylor morgan & caspr)

Seagrams inna water bottle getting faded
Indigo my denim and its high waisted
Ride the public bus with no destination
Turn up on the side walk yeah im going vagrant
I might get myself into a situation
I might find my future at the train station
I don’t got nobody just a coors banquet
Turn up in the side car yeah Im going vagrant


I feel like woody Guthrie leave a trail of poems
Camel filter smoke on me like cologne
Playing harmonica until the dogs come home
i hate to be coming down
 lord I wish that I was stoned
I don’t think they like me im a troubadour
Im a loner but I don’t care anymore
got a pint of ancient age at the liquor store
in the tunnel busking for change bout to get some more 
Walk the city streets like a phantom 
This for my thrift store cowboys its the anthem
I swear im bout pop pop like a cap gun
Jonah made the beat and I held it for ransom 


I roll my own stogies
Smoke em by my lonely
No one really knows me 
i feel just like johnny
i'm in the studio with paper rose !

vagrant (prod. fantasy camp)

kratom & white claw (prod. taylor morgan & caspr)

feel your pulse kid 
your life's not over
you just lost an angel
trying to get closer
padlock choker
feel your pulse
like a padlock choker

I redirect the light
to make a rainbow like a prism
I don't wanna hang around with them
I'm staying in
I'm a lost boy
I don't even get a mention
but I do it for me
you don't even gotta listen
my life is taking on a new direction
make my problems disappear
just like a magician
I had to make it work for me
I didn't have an option
love's a sacrifice
and there's blood on the alter 

shadow of a doubt
like a sundial
being followed by a specter
from way down
in a house of mirrors
and there's no way out
he thought he was cured
but it was a fake out
this is a eulogy
for the old me
before I got better
vikings funeral
put the arrow to flame
and I rose up from the embers
there's a piece of my heart
that remembers

I'm in the studio with paper rose </3


(mixed and mastered by Brody)

padlock choker [prod. fantasy camp & xxajii]

carry it around
but I gotta let it go
it's weighing me down
just another obstacle
feels like I'm in hell
it's like Dante's inferno
I guess this is the journey of a hero

you can't make sense of it so there's no point to try
take it's power away no more sleepless nights
please don't give up now it's just another trial
a couple years from now it'll make you laugh & smile
it's not your fault that someone came & wrecked your life
but there's a lesson in every tear that you cry
it's not your fault that someone came & wrecked your life
just know that they'll be punished in due time

don’t be a victim 
don’t lose your sight
fear only makes the bad things amplified
keep your composure
stand up and fight
in the middle of a dark storm
& the ship is about to capsize
keep your eyes on the far sway shore

hero's journey (prod. fantasy camp)

obsessed with making money
cuz it’s all i can control
it’s kinda depressing
never cared bout cash before
back then getting EBT 
felt like i’d won the superbowl
i got hot food in me now
but my heart is froze
daisy chaining cigarettes
my lungs are fulla smoke
i been drinking so much
trying to forget it all
everyday in reverie
Thinking where I went wrong
came across an old photograph
That part of me is gone

Sometimes I get so faded
That the world becomes a blur
I just can’t make sense of it
It’s so fucking absurd
How come when I lived on the couch
I was happier?
Baby I don’t wanna die
But sometimes I get the urge lately

mixed & mastered by brody

$uperbowl [prod. fantasy camp & jolst]

revenge (prod. taylor morgan)

lose your faith in nothing ft. fantasy camp (prod. taylor morgan)

made it out of nothing 
i was nothing 
i was hungry 
i was ravenous
i remember counting crumpled singles 
in the tunnel 
30 40 50 i thought i was rich
ever since back then
been on the same tip 
but nobody cared
all i had was s r z & s 
still the same as i ever was 
the only difference is
jeans so tight and the bands dont fit 

jeans so tight that the bands dont fit
i remember living  on the couch 
i couldn’t pay the rent 
derek made the call 
he said to come and get a check 
it took a bit a time
nows perfect timing to flex 
perfect time to flex 
in my own lane imma vet 
took about a decade
just to get to where i’m at
now when i look back
all i see are silhouettes
i’m dancing with the shadows
of my future and my past

jeanz so tight (prod. fantasy camp)

my girl a center fold
ya my girl a cover star
our love not ephemeral
she been with me from the start 
even when i was broke 
baby always down to ride
now that i’m finally up
best believe she’s by my side 

fought through the darkness
to find a new day
any time I’m down bad 
i know she got me 
aint nobody realer
my baby shoots straight
back when I was homeless
she'd never doubt me 

doing the laundry and drinking tall cans in afternoon
writing the record determined to make it through
covered the tab back when i had no revenue
we split the bag now im finally breaking though
 
she was there the night that I wanted to end it all
she was there the night I played the hollywood bowl
there’s nothing she could do to make me love her more
yah that’s my bae she’s a mafucking centerfold

CENTERFOLD (prod. jolst x punk)

i want special treatment cuz i’m famous
but no one here even knows what my name is
at the goodwill nicotine cravings
in a cold sweat i drank too much kratom

basket full of red tags killer savings
lush ice vapor on me like a fragrance
i don’t need nobody I just blue faces
androgynous i feel like the replacements

my life a novel not a movie
frozen cherries in my smoothie
in my own lane 
speeding while theyre cruising
i stay in the garden 
writing poems musing
why would they hate
it’s so confusing
i think they wish that they were doing what i’m doing
im a warlock sleight of hand i’m using
made it happen for myself while they were snoozing

if you can’t see me you need lasik 
run to the money like some asics
jolst on the beat you know I had to lace it
used to hate myself but I learned to embrace it

FAMOU$ (prod. jolst)

watch me fall to pieces dogg 
im dealing with a rough time
coming for the top see no stop sign
when im in the cut 
i rap real quiet
stack my money up 
touching the sky 

everywhere I go I’m the man of the hour
seen lil brody head spin like it’s an owl
i been drippin so much dogg i need a towel
my bank account the only thing that make me smile
all these goofys got me feeling sour
they gone copy i me i swear they want my style 
i been spitting off the top don’t write it own
i got it out the mud 
i need a shower 

i don’t do nothing unless i get paid
i needa twomp or two talkin bout k’s 
flow got a magnitude like an earthquake
paper rose revenue up and away
my life a marathon a paper chase
i stalk the guapo like it was my prey
i been the realist you broke boys are fake

ruff time (prod. 4evr x taylor morgan)

not for long but overdue
patiently i watch the moon
you’re all that i’ve got to lose
praying that you come home soon
it’s begin to wonder who
you’ve become and grown into
pedals fall spring’s calling you
praying that you come home soon

moonlight meditation
incense smoke in levitating
my hearts only reason
is your light step footfall
come to take me over
your wings around like closure
kissing you all over
until the morning comes

come home soon

i long to be at ease 
anywhere at all
i replay scenes of days that have long gone
i can’t enjoy anything without a 

caveat all day
in recovery
lately
color start to fade
vanish into nothing 
don’t know what to say
got a distance gaze 
hazy
thoughts of my escape
i’m so tired of running

another part to play
wanna hide my face 
away
wanna rearrange
the pain that i’ve been suffering
dark cabaret
it’s a murder mystery
when the curtain closed
i dreamt up the whole thing

Fever dreams 
Come to taunt me
When I can’t see through 
Cover of clouds & lighting 
While the sky is darkening 
Thunder rattles my presence
& brings back  moments
I wish so bad to forget 
Is this never-ending?

caveat (prod. jolst x punk)

wake up in the low light
heart is beating out my chest
drowning in a sea of liquor
without a life vest
something takes control of me
at night i get possessed
the devil’s real 
got an abv of 40%
i keep hearing voices
i think that the veil is thin
everytime i black out
i fear that i’ll let them in
i’ve been so disracted by the state of everything
i’m never where i’m at
feels like i’m living in a dream  

my thoughts
are foggy like a ship
like a magic trick
all my happiness vanished
bad times baby 
it’s a bad trip
like a magic trick
all my happiness vanished
i do what i can baby i do what can
time just keeps on turning
falling like a grain of a sand 
i do what i can baby i do what i can
hope i can make it out 
back at the bottom again

just like dylan said
i was so much older then
im younger than that now 
living like a hooligan
it’s like every song could save my life if i keep doing it
but this addiction always threatens to ruin it
i forgive you mama i swear that i understand
i see so much of myself in you when things get out of hand
we carry the same pain it’s impossible to bear
why not reach towards the amber light
when there’s darkness everywhere

magic trick (prod. thislandis)

open up the notebook
get my thoughts out
there’s angels speaking through me 
i got wings now
let it go white flag up 
on the come down
surrender to it 
in a field of wild flowers 

wild flowers 
dark skies
been forever and a minute since ive seen the sunshine
hard times 
roll on
i been faded for so long
i feel like james bond
ashtrays
smoke rings 
crush the embers of my past 
with my steel toe wolverines
i cant get the scene out 
of my memory
so i mix the tanqueray with gasoline

when you get to that point it’s unbelievable 
it’s impossible to save
& it dont matter how hard you try to fight back 
the war’s been lost already
don’t got a time a machine
what was once was whole’s a broken piece
i lost control of my psyche

this saga sucks but now its a part of my history
i know it sounds ridiculous to say it feels like the end of me
i carry on with something lost that will never be retrieved
its hard enough just to be okay
all i want is to be happy

WILDFLOWERS (prod. taylor morgan x jolst)

BLOOD MOON

denim trench coat

my heart was the only casualty

defenseless

ASTROLOGY

ridin round like im famous
princess waving 
thrift god swagger ancient
shake the pavement
really came up from the bottom
house show in the basement
seagrams in a water bottle
living like a vagrant


flex on em
don’t even got 
no designer on me

the aura is 1 of 1
& the fit second hand

i make it rain when i want
im the weather man

i import the matcha
direct from japan

got so much motion
i might pop a dramamine 

been moving like this
since 09 wearing skinny pants

now i got my weight up
im sagging my cargo jeans

need all of them pockets
to carry round all of these bands

i let the lexapro do its thing
paper rose a mummy
i’m a underground king
steady running offa caffeine & nicotine
moving music like it’s pressed pills ecstasy

drip like diana with shorts & a crew neck on
still rocking the uggs & it’s 80 degrees
paper rose chosen 
ya just like a pokemon
turn nothin to something
like im making origami

princess waving

i said what u gonna die 4?
riding round with demons on my mind
like im a psycho
gotta find the meaning 
in the absence of a rifle 
stickin round to send some hope 
to all of my disciples
smoke another stoge
& say a prayer
for all my rivals

aye 
i need some sleep
grinding & grinding
like i was a sk8r boy
avril lavinge
when you build a world
around u from the ground up
you'll know what i mean
i was up late in the lab
& i think i built a time a machine
cuz this shit is bangin so hard
that i just keep re-starting the beat

i’m movin mountains
i’m telekinetic
my hustle so strong
yeah my hustle relentless
my time on this earth
has made me to a cynic
but when i count that cash
you know i get litty
that 808 
changin my face to a grimace
i keep on going forever  
got no limit
they stop me for photos
when i’m in the city
my bank account beautiful
but im so gritty

paper rose haiku

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