production, mixing and backing vocals by @blackwinterwells

come pick me up i'll pay for gas
there's nowhere that i want to be
and you'll drive fast and i won't ask
to pick the music or the street
and we can talk about whatever and pretend that we won't tell
even pretending to ourselves

u think it's easy where it's darker 
and i like to feel my heart
speed up with my eyes shut
and feel we're doing something we should not
so for a time i spend my life just trying to find out when to stop
just trying to guess when we'll get caught

this place is suffocating
i'll still be here in five years
like i promise i won't through the wind in your ears
but nothing feels as urgent
and these nights are still important
and there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

every time i feel alive it will feel just like this
i'll get the things u did 
forget the boy i kissed
by the hangar and you'll both be strangers to me

tonight it matters how i'm not a person who u want to see
cause i like to talk about the hospital and go when i don't need it
just to show the world i feel it
i only ever did it once
and it was selfish it was dumb
but i can't bring myself to

hate me for wanting a break
i'll still be here in five years
where i made every mistake
sixteen trying to disappear
for one week and a half
you know it's all an act
cause there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

hangar

hangar (blackwinterwells)

@pyu

think im lost think im lost
take me to your car
bitch i took too fn much
what we are is all we have
interior all black
help me count my cash
in my whip and it go fast
oh i did i make u mad
im gettin 2 my bag
im runnin up my tab
by myself
by myself
x3

car: https://www.instagram.com/windy.gyl/

by myself (meta)

ON MY MIND

Jeans Soaked Prod. Jxyy2k

new meta

song comp from 23-25 my favs i never released

1. call it what you want
2. dancers @winter
3. now or never
4. dear you
5. snowdrops
6. sacrum @angelicxmei
7. time waster
8. my special place
9. boys like you
10. i think its okay
11. again, i lose
12. i lied
13. catch me as i fall

spotify

dear you

with @177p @recyclexbin @1hallow @popilization @gnrlyx @rihiut @1sla @m1tsugo @oharai @rxnawway

attachment theory @177p @recyclebin @hallow @pop @gnrly @rihiut @isla @mitsugo @oharai @runaway

Y u talking 2 me.

featuring @shaycupine , @endrisdeath, @imnotvrycreative , and @westwood.mp3

for niztopia's last songwars of the year, we didnt win but we still love this song
guitar by endri, everything else produced by me
ib defsharp

i dont want you to notice 
the flaws around me
they keep growing on me
i dont want you to notice
the world around me
it keeps falling on me

tell me what you want, what you need from me
i just wanna know what i need to be
tell me what you want, what you need from me
i just wanna know what i need to be

what i need to be,
cause' i don't know at all
cause' i don't know at all
hate this feeling
trapped inside these walls
with no escape at all
so don't turn me into an afterthought
what can i be to have your heart
i can't seem to get enough

and i don’t want you to know that I know 
and i don’t want you to call back my home
and i don’t want you to know that 
you can always come back home, but I don't want you to know that

i ain't want you to notice
i'll glue the pages, that book never been open
i think we both know, I'll fix it till its broken
i'd take anything, take anything but hopeless
just say the word and we could make it happen
i need more distractions
i hate looking back, but it's back where it happened, and you know that
if it's well enough, why can't I leave it alone then?
just take a moment

im losing focus 
you hear it every time but I just want you to know this 
i hit the road and now you been asking where im goin 
i hope it ends up being better than what you showing
than what you showing 
what you been showing 
your the one for me everybody been known that 
hold my breath and we talk it out and we fuck it up but I go back 
i don’t wanna go dumb it down but you shot the gun and im blown back
but I don’t want you to know that 
but I don’t want you to know that 

you know i'd make it work out for ya
i'm so sure you're 'gon lie, spoken paranoia
i know I ain't 'gon find another, ain't more of ya
you know I ain't bout to let it go
i'll search to find the words, i'll tell you what you need to know
i know you see the irony, I ain't want you to know that
i hate that I could put something above that
the truth hard, but you know that I can't lie

i aint gon lie but your the one for me,
i just wanna try but you gon lie to me,
just tell me what your needin'
your needin'

new meta

2au

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