Show tumes

Words © Copyright 2013 Peter Lloyd

Z Y X W V U T
S R Q P O N M L K
J I H G F E
D and C and B and A
Now I know my Z Y Xes
Slow and backwards just like Texas

Peter Lloyd's Album

Zeta-Ups Song

Music by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, "Rondo alla Turca," from his Sonata No. 11 K331 for piano, words © Copyright 2007, 2015 Peter Lloyd.

Bedadeedadeep bedadeedadeep bedadeeda deedadeeda deedadeeda deep 
Bada rumpa bada rumpa bada rump bump bum

The Australian lizard known as Skink
Tongue of blue inside a mouth of pink
All of sixty centimeters long
Watch those teeth, his jaw is mighty strong
If he finds a date, spring’s his time to mate
Spends his summers sunnin’ and mornin’s sleepin’ late 
All the winter, deep beneath the leaves he lies in state. 

Bedadeedadeep bedadeedadeep bedadeeda deedadeeda deedadeeda deep 
Bada rumpa bada rumpa bada rump bump bum

Orange and umber with a racing stripe
Skink is not the energetic type
Sleeps alone in hollow, fallen logs
Runs away from hungry cats and dogs
Dingoes will pursue, kookaburras, too
If you get his hackles up, he’ll puff and hiss at you 
But some predators avoid him ‘cuz his tongue is blue

When he runs for his life, he lets his tail drop off behind him 
While his rump feeds his predator, he’s safely on his way 
Skink’s a wise little lizard, doesn’t need us to remind him 
You can lose your behind and live to run another day

Bedadeedadeep bedadeedadeep bedadeeda deedadeeda deedadeeda deep 
Bada rumpa bada rumpa bada rump bump bum

He is not a picky omnivore
Finds his dinner on the forest floor
Snails and beetles, any bug’ll do
Fruits and flowers, he can eat a few
Goes for slower prey, others get away
Likes to snatch his supper in the middle of the day 
To digest it just a bit of gravel works okay

When he runs for his life, he lets his tail drop off behind him 
While his rump feeds his predator, he’s safely on his way 
Skink’s a wise little lizard, needs no wizard to remind him 
You can lose your behind and live to run another day

The Australian lizard known as Skink
Tongue of blue inside a mouth of pink
All of sixty centimeters long
Watch those teeth, his jaw is mighty strong
I don’t make this up, you can call my bluff 
See Tiliqua scincoides intermedia
Go and look him up online in Wikipedia

                              

Skink the Lizard

Music by Peter Illych Tchaikovsky, Violin Concerto
Words © Copyright 2017 Peter Lloyd

My life is made of dreams
It seems all I do is dream
My dreams are of the life that I
Should have had, could have had, would have had

If life were like my dreams
I’d live all my life with you
Then you and I would see all of my dreams come true
If only, but I only

Dream when I’m alone
And I’m alone nearly all the time
It’s time you be the one I am
Sharing with, caring with, daring with

If you would wake me from
My dreams, oh what a life we’d lead
Just you and I so wide awake
We’d never waste another moment in a dream
No longer would I let my dreams replace life
We would embrace life
If only, but I only dream

I Only Dream

Words © Copyright 1984, 2015 Peter Lloyd
Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart wrote the melody to this number, Divertimento in D KV 334

Bringing my son, David, home from the hospital a day or two after he was born, we heard Mozart's Divertimento in D on the radio—the first music David ever heard. I wrote this bit of advice to him soon after.

You were born with one, essential, fundamental thing that no one ever will explain
And if you use it with a bit of common sense, you will avoid unnecessary pain
It really pays to use
Yes, you were made to use
Don’t be afraid to use your brain

You can have the world and all its wonder as your plunder, but before you make your bed
Be sure to broaden your horizons just in case you want to take the universe instead
Don’t ever choose without
Never refuse without
You’re sure to lose without your head

Now it may seem kind of contradictory to you
From time to time when you are forced to listen to
Some old pedantic fool with nothing else to do
But prattle on and on and on
Then your challenge is to keep your balance
While you find the needle somewhere in the hay

Even though you lead and others follow, you will often feel alone because you’ll find
The very fact that you can keep your head in tact, means others are, in fact, the other kind
Don’t disapprove without
Never behoove without
Don’t make a move without your mind

Every now and then you’re bound to run into a few
Fanatics who will try to razzle-dazzle you
With happy hocus pocus hype and very
Unsophisticated points of view
You know better than to let them fetter
You with any rules that tell you not to use

The most precious and essential, fundamental thing that no one ever will explain
Be sure to use it with a bit of common sense. You will avoid unnecessary pain
It really pays to use
Yes, you were made to use
Don’t be afraid to use your brain

Your Brain

If I had to do it all over again
Would I be content to reply
To the question, “What do you do for a living?”
“Me?...

I just teach. It’s what I do. I know I’ve found my groove
I just teach. It’s all I do.  I’ve nothing more to prove
I just teach. I just teach

I awake primeval minds, where dormant wonders lie
Introduce tenderfoot minds  to why they wonder why
I just teach. I just teach 

Those who do can do, do
Those who can’t do, teach
Well, that’s what they say
If you think that’s true
I could teach a thing or two, too, to you

Now diagram that sentence

Let me ask you a question.
 Have you ever seen a  shy, introspective misfit
 Suddenly catch on to what makes  Shakespeare worth reading

 And then watch his writing  slowly evolve from
 Black-and-white into vivid  color? I have.

 Ever have a precocious  preteen smart ass not only
 Prove you wrong, but  replace what you thought was set in stone
 
 With an entirely new idea  using the critical-thinking skills 
 You’ve just taught her?  I have 

 Ever seen a roomful of  smug, surly faces as their
 Dim, un-inquisative eyes start to  blaze with wild, child-like fire

 When it dawns on them  all of a sudden that 
 What they call common sense is actually  complicated?

 And, for the very first time  learn to accommodate
 Inside their green  ripening little brains

 Two diametrically opposed  viewpoints as
 Perfectly  plausible!

 I have. And I wouldn’t have missed it for the world

Those who do can do what they do
I know I can do what they do too 
Let them do what they do
I do all that I can do as well
Maybe even better

I excite young appetites  and nurse them on unknowns
As they grow, I watch them fly  where no one’s ever flown
I just teach. I just teach. I just teach.

© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music with help from Suno.com AI

I Just Teach

Everybody thinks jocks are dumb
Not the case where I come from
I know what it takes to read a faking fullback
I know what it takes to anticipate an all-on sack
I know what it takes to make sure you don't head on out onto the gridiron with your
jock on backwards

It takes brains
A lot more than brawn and muscle
It takes brains
So much more than guts and hustle

Cuz if you hustle instead of pace your defense with bump-and-run coverage, you may
miss the sack opportunity and rush around the gap on the snap and meet a stiﬀ-arm
defender when double coverage demands running out the clock, because your
opponent is in field goal range and the kicker's putting yards behind every triple-man
screen around the passing pocket, so now you have the watch the other team's coach
take a Gatorade shower and you're screwed!

It takes brains
A lot more than brawn and muscle
It takes brains
So much more than guts and hustle

Cuz if you hustle in the wrong direction, you miss a squeeze play on the balk and get
caught with one run down, bases loaded on an infield-fly base on balls, dirt dog
followed by a screwball clutch pickle full-count, late-run pressure situation forcing a
grand-slam wall climber, because you sent your sweeping curve to a switch hitter with
an RBI pinch-hitter pick-oﬀ at the end of position change close-call, causing your
coach to start cussing out the umpire, instigating a bench-clearing brawl and you're
screwed!

It takes brains
A lot more than brawn and muscle
It takes brains
So much more than guts and hustle

You know, just because some jocks don't interview like philosophy professors, doesn't
mean they don't know a lot more about a whole lotta shit you never even thought
about much less could understand

I know what it takes to keep your point guard clear
I know what it takes to make the bleachers cheer
I know what it takes not to dunk the ball in the wrong damn basket

It takes brains
A lot more than brawn and muscle
It takes brains
So much more than guts and hustle

Cuz if you hustle with the wrong intention and you don't let the game come to your
after a one-and-done wheel oﬀense to answer a zone defense crooked zebra pick-and-
run, you end up putting pressure on the crossover defense clutch shot when you need
a squeeze oﬀense, one-on-one, man-to-man oﬀ pass rather than a triple-dribble hook
shot for less time in the paint in favor of a three-pointer oﬀ the glass with a buzzer-
beater, full-clock laid-oﬀ shot time missed in the last half second to bounce you right
out of the bracket and you're screwed!

It takes brains
A lot more than brawn and muscle
It takes brains
So much more than guts and hustle

You think I'm making this shit up, don't you?
It takes brains

© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music with help from Suno.com AI

It Takes Brains

Is that a note from Casanova?
Better send him on his way
If he starts to turn your pretty head
This is all you have to say

Tell him you're deep in love already
If he asks you for a name
Say he's well known as the Hunchback
And he comes from Notre Dame

Don't worry, you won't miss a thing
You can't read in Robert Frost
It's better to have never loved
Than to have loved and lost

Never love unless you have to
Never give your heart away
Nothing's free in this old world
And when you love, you pay

Take no pity on the Phantom
Don't get led into his lair
We don't need another Romeo
Trust me, there's no future there

You'd do better by a fireman
With a head of wavy hair
When your wedding bed goes up in flames
Then you might just have a prayer

But if you can't resist a tango
Get your money in advance
Then you won't have to beg for cab fare
When he leaves you at the dance
\
I've been around this world a whole lot longer than you
I've had my ups and downs and learned a thing or two
I had some breaks, I've made mistakes
And now I'm warning you

Never love unless you have to
Never strain your heart that way
Nothing's free in this old world
And when you love, you pay

Now when that overwhelming emptiness
Comes and grabs you by the throat
Starts to slowly suck your breath away
Sinks you like a tiny boat

Know you're better off to drown in tears
Than watch your lying lover choke
On his vows of everlasting love
Like goodbye's some kind of joke

There's no such thing as loneliness
If you live for what you do
When you clean up after no one
No one cleans up after you

Never love unless you have to
Never give your heart away
Nothing's free in this old world
And when you love, you pay

© Copyright 1984, 2001, 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music with Suno.com AI

Never Love

Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention to me and see what you see

Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention to me and see what you see

Now I’m not talking about my fantastic figure
Or my knack of wrapping men around my finger 
All I need is almost a master
Someone who's a  challenge and understands
The ins and outs and...
Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention or lose your chances with me

Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention to me and see what you see
Now I’m not talking about my fantastic figure
Or my knack of wrapping men around my finger 
All I need is almost a master
Someone who's a challenge and understands
The ins and outs and...
Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention or lose your chances with me

Pay attention, pay attention
Pay attention or lose your chances with me

© Copyright 1977, 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music by suno.com

Pay Attention

Hello, you wanna have some fun?
My name is Madeleine and I'm the one
My, my, you're such a handsome guy
I love your eyes, oh, your hair
Pardon, I can't help but stare

I've got no needle for my phonograph
The water's running but there ain't no bath
I'm needy, but, oh, you're so greedy
Now, not so fast
I'd love to love you but you make me laugh

Slow down before you break your heart
You're off and running way before we start
Now, there. That's much better
Do that again
Oh, I'd better go before I go too far

I'm in the middle of the mood for love
But what you do you do in such a rush
It's necessary to be fairly nonchalant
That's how I get everything I want

[burlesque music]

Good night. I hope you had your fun
I'm going upstairs, if you wanna come
Bye-bye. Tell your wives I said, Hello
And come back next week, for another show

(c) Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno ai

Madeleine

Gentlemen, I love to dance for you
And take off all my clothes
You make me feel just like one of the boys
Even if I don’t have one of those

Maybe I do and maybe I don’t
Maybe I will and maybe I won’t
Who knows what’s going on in my mind

Gentlemen, they want to marry me
Because they think I’m such a ball
I don’t know if I will ever agree
Not unless you let me have them all

Maybe I will and maybe I won’t
Maybe I do and maybe I don’t
Who knows what’s going on in my mind

Gentlemen, the time has finally come
For me to kiss you all good-bye
Take a tip from a woman who knows
Just because you’re tough don’t mean you never cry

Maybe I will and maybe I won’t
Maybe I do and maybe I don’t
Who knows what’s going on in my
Who knows what’s going on in my
Who knows what’s going on

Copyright 1975, 2025 Peter Lloyd
Music by suno.com

seductive, sexy female vocalist
with three-piece burlesque band with saxophone solo

Gentlemen

[spoken]
look at all that! Would ya? 
good morning, wood!

[sung]
[verse]
wake up at the crack of dawn 
fall outa bed with your work clothes on
camp house mess, grab a bite 
head on out to the loggin site

work all day, without much pay
bull-of-the-woods never faraway
saw trees down and haul em out
that’s what a lumberjack’s all about 

[chorus ]
good, hard wood
makes a man feel good

[bridge]
We cut down trees, so you can pick your teeth
We live in a shack, so you can scratch your back
We risk our lives, so you can make beehives
and
chairs, stairs, doors, floors, tools, stools,
crates, gates, beds, treads, sleds, beds, bats, slats,

where would y’all be without 
good, hard, wood?

paddles, saddles, ship keels, spiked heels, sandals, handles, dobros, oboes, yardsticks, broom sticks, chopsticks, match sticks, drum sticks, hogs heads, mastheads, wet bars, guitars, woodwinds, clothes pins

where would y’all be without 
good, hard, wood?

lighthouse, White House, frat house, cat house, tool house, schoolhouse

where would y’all be without 
good, hard, wood?

bench dogs, and Lincoln logs
bassoons, and serving spoons
doll eyes, and railroad ties 
gun stocks, and cuckoo clocks
board games, and picture frames
shop signs, and valentines
sun decks, and banjo necks, 
wash clubs, and billy clubs

where would y’all be without 
good, hard, wood?

[verse]
work all day, without much pay
bull-of-the-woods never faraway
saw trees down and haul em out
that’s what a lumberjack’s all about

[chorus]
good, hard wood
makes a man feel good

where would y’all be without 
good… hard… wood?

© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno ai

Morning Wood

If I were a lumberjack and you were the cabin cook
Would my name be “Casanova” Jones?
No, I’d still be Leslie Leslie, but I’d lumber in from logging 
With a much sweeter hunger in my bones

I wouldn’t treat you like a servant, more like a trusted friend
I would compliment the camp cuisine
But I serve meals and find the time to dream of what might be
If only I were you and you were me

our differences are skin deep
our masters are the same
love is love is love, it doesn’t
need a different name

our differences are skin deep
inside we’re all the same
love is love is love, it doesn’t
need a different name

I wouldn’t treat you like a servant, more like a trusted friend
I would compliment the camp cuisine
But I serve meals and find the time to dream of what might be
If only I were you and you were me

If only I were you and you were me

If I Were a Lumberjack

Timber!

here come the lumberjacks dead on our feet
go tell the cabin boy it’s time to eat
we ain’t had no sustenance, not one crumb 
hey, there, cabin boy, fetch us some
We sing, “Timber! Timber! Timber!” all day long

Up every morning before dawn cracks
Fallers do the kinda work that breaks men’s backs
Cut all day long with a crosscut saw
Drop half dead on a bed of straw
We sing, “Timber! Timber! Timber!” all day long

a tree topper’s job takes a hell of a man 
we shinny up trees as fast as we can
lop off her limbs, top off her crown
rig her up for when the yarder hauls her down
We sing, “Timber! Timber! Timber!” all day long

we are the sawyers, yeah, we work like dogs 
choppin felled trees down to smaller logs
it takes a big man to make a tall tree fall
a much tougher man gets it ready to haul
We sing, “Timber! Timber! Timber!” all day long

[solo]

i feed this hard-working, roughneck bunch
breakfast, supper, and mid-day lunch
if i had a dime for every “thanks” i get
i couldn’t even buy me a wet cigaret 

[solo]

the time has come again for me to hit the sack
Fittin for a lonely old lumberjack
dream about women, but i ain’t got none
go tell that cabin boy to fetch me one
I sing, “Timber! Timber! ….

Timber (show)

(verse)
look at you, you gorgeous man
sit still, big fella, if you can
you steal my breath, my head is reeling 
what would you call that kind of feeling?
I call it boom boom boom pah-pah boom boom boom!

(verse)
look at me, you big beefcake
I bet I make your timbers shake
Am I right? Find me appealing?
what would you call that kind of feeling?
I call it boom boom boom pah-pah boom boom boom!

(bridge)
boom boom boom pah-pah boom boom boom!
means our passions are the same	
love is love is love, it doesn’t
need a different name

(verse)
ready to go, my blue-eyed dream?
Wait! What if i’m not what i seem?
doesn’t matter, im not wrong 
i know you loved my song
I call it boom boom boom pah-pah …
boom boom boom pah-pah…
boom boom boom pah-pah boom boom boom!

(c) Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno ai

Boom Boom Boom

Jones
come, city slickers, never swung no axe
listen to the glory of my lumberjacks
they do much more than cut trees down
risked our lives to save a tiny town

All
hey hi ho! look out below
twenty tons of timber heading down your way
hey hi ho! look at it go
that oughta do you till judgement day

Jones
log jams never ever took to river hogs
put many brave men in a grave of logs
i said, “we”ll never crack this on playing by the book
so i brought in a dancer and my cabin cook

All
hey hi ho! look out below
twenty tons of timber heading down your way
hey hi ho! look at it go
that oughta do you till judgement day

Madeleine 
when brute force failed, they asked me, “ma’am
“how would a woman break this log jam
i said, “men, it’s clear to me what you gotta do
find a force much mightier than all of you

All
hey hi ho! look out below
twenty tons of timber heading down your way
hey hi ho! look at it go
that oughta do you till judgement day

Leslie
Gooseneck River used to brooked no jams
till they choked it off with the Gooseneck dam
dynamite the dam and make mighty tide
send down a surge a water for the logs to ride

All
hey hi ho! look out below
twenty tons of timber heading down your way
hey hi ho! look at it go
that oughta do you till judgement day


© Copyright 2025 Peter Lloyd
music by suno ai

River Rap-So-D

Songwriter since 1966. Can't believe I still have to write protest songs. Prefer writing love songs and songs of praise for stand-up women and men, parodies, lyrical nonsense, blues and adaptations.