She told me get the fuck out
Gotta pull over
Lie in the grass
Gotta call off now
Will this ever pass?

Caught on the horns of a dilemma
Covered in vomit
Such a sick feeling
Crashing like a comet
take a breath and calm yourself

I could just drive forever
into the ocean, over a cliff
I don't feel anything, whatever

I wish I could make you happy,
but I'm a piece of shit
I wasn't born for anyone
I'm barely a person
I'm nothing at all
I didn't ask for any of this
I never wanted to exist
I wish I could make you happy,
but I know it's just a stupid myth

I wanna get better
but it's pulling too hard
I'm a slave to my urges
I never thought it'd go this far

But here I am now:
Dark mind and heavy heart
Pulling in a thousand directions
Never thought I'd make it this far

If you thought you could swim,
now would be the time
because everything that makes you you
is drowning in the climb

I wish I could make you happy,
but I'm a piece of shit
I wish I could make you happy,
but I don't believe in myths

A Thousand Directions

Message from Blackout Jake at Six in the Morning

Jesus God!

Boredom

Late 80s Tama Swingstar kit with Evans g2 coated heads. Sonor Snare. Shitty ZBT cymbals. Lewitt LCT 040 on overheads; Audix I5 on snare; EV PL33 on kick; TOA RB-15 in wurst position. Running into a TOA rx212 mixer --> direct outs to Art tube Opto 8 --> Adat --> Ableton. No post processing. EQing done on TOA mixer.

TOA RX212 Drum Test Recording

Dreaming In VHS

recorded drums on a sanyo cassette voice recorder, did the rest in Ableton, then recorded that to the cassette recorder and back into ableton. More tape per tape.

Sanyo Tape Project

Public Secrets - Edge Of Time

Last Days Of Winter

There really aren't any online demos of these old Uher microphones that came with tape decks. So, here's something! 

Drums: uher 514 overheads, 514 snare, 512 kick, 516 wurst position.
guitars and bass played through a crate turbo valve 60 combo amp and recorded with a Uher 514. Vocals recorded with the 514 (despite saying 516 in the song).

no additional processing besides panning and mixing of levels.

Uher Microphone Test Song

False Abstraction Demo

Say Dada

Loud No Louder3

Guitar by Joel Smith, Sampled Vocals by Local Faggots.

Much Worse

Lyrics:
Don’t you know?
You’re just living 
An indeterminate animal life

It’s a perpetual process
Dancing in the thread of light
They say it’s unchangeable
You’re too damn critical
Drop all your insights

It’s a perpetual process
Swimming in the shit of life
They say it’s human nature
Competing for pieces of paper
Working until you die
Working until you die
Working until you die

Blind typhonic fire
Takes the world dead or alive
Titans will drown in their dreams of tomorrow
And I’ll just sigh

Ha Ha
   Ha Ha

Blind typhonic fire
Takes the world dead or alive
Titans will drown in their sorrows
And I’ll just get high

Ha Ha
    Ha Ha

Poisoned plastic water
Rising above your eyes
Myopic vision, dimly recall
The shrinking of time

Don’t you know?
You’re just living
An indeterminate animal life
Animal Life

Perpetual Process

Lyrics:

You ask yourself: How indeed?
Well, you know, we've got the answer
It's no joke-- flying down the road in a car with no driver
Everyone, according to the numbers, does it for a paycheck
To get out on the weekend
It's "supposed" to be compensation

You ask yourself: how indeed?
You can't speak about what has you seething.
It's a public secret

Public Secret

Mommy Needs A Weed Cookie

I am a recording engineer at Cradle of Philth Studios in Western PA.  I play guitar in Neighbor Dan. I played guitar in Old Accusers, bass in Severini, and a bunch of other non-memorable bands. Focusing on synth driven ambient music under the moniker Public Secrets.

Public Secrets

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