other forms of consciousness

glass ivy

concrete willow

i grew up in a field
of flowers and dreams
maybe it wasn't real
i don't wanna fall
don't wanna fall
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get too close to you
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get hurt again

maybe i'm better off
being on my own
seen everything i need to see
hurt so much i might never heal
maybe i'm better off
being on my own
seen everything i need to see
hurt so much i might never heal
hurt so much i might never heal

now what's the point of loving
only to get broken
i'd rather be alone
I don't wanna fall
don't wanna fall
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get too close
don't wanna get too close to you

maybe i'm better off
being on my own
seen everything i need to see
hurt so much i might never heal
maybe i'm better off
being on my own
seen everything i need to see
hurt so much i might never heal
maybe i'm better off
being on my own
seen everything i need to see
hurt so much i might never heal

fields

i feel like a used notebook
you ripped some pages 
when you raped me
but i’m still here
i can still read into myself 
even if no one else can

i’m scared someday you’ll find 
a brand new book
and i’ll be the rough book 
nobody wants
cause i still feel
the bearing of your hold
i wish we never met

maybe it’s the last time
i feel like i’ll never trust again
maybe i was scarred by
the way you watched me cry
 
i feel like a used notebook
you scribbled over then torn apart
but i’m still here
i carry all the words you said
and all the things you’ve done to me

maybe it’s the last time
i feel like i’ll never trust again
maybe i was scarred by
the way you watched me cry

the notebook

Everything I want
I’ll get it
I got so much on my mind
Wanna say fuck him

Cause I feel like I’m flying on repeat
Flying out this city

Everything they’ve got
I don’t miss it
4b thinking at the top
They don’t get it

Cause I feel like I’m flying on repeat
Flying out this city
Men don’t get to me
Never felt so free

It feels like
Maybe I’m feeling okay
It gives me something more
It feels like
It feels right

4b thinking

(Feel the fall
I wanna feel it, see it
Feel the fall
I wanna feel it, see it)

And I’ll be back for real this time
Set it up going up all night
Yeah nobody does it like me
Maybe I should do better
Yeah nobody does it like this
Maybe I should do better

I put my bag on the way forward
I know when to give up
I know how to get more
I don’t wanna get sentimental
I don’t hurt myself anymore
Not falling for them

(Feel the fall
I wanna feel it, see it)

Yeah I’m back for real this time
Let me hop on another cloud
Yeah nobody does it like me
Maybe I should do better
Yeah nobody does it like this
 Maybe I should do better

I put my bag on the way forward
I know what to give up
I know how to get more
I don’t wanna get sentimental
I don’t hurt myself anymore
Not falling for them

digital yearning

i wish i wasn't crying on the freeway

i learnt to be alone
my only true friend
i learnt to be alone
to embrace being on my own

there’s people i should feel close to
but there’s always a gap
there’s people i should feel close to

as lonely as it gets
lonely as it gets
i’ll always have myself

as lonely as it gets
i’ll sleep with both eyes closed
as long as i have myself

only true friend

i used to be down bad for love
now he’s blowing up my phone i don’t want him
i was waiting for a guy to be above
i wish someone would have told me that

texting all these guys won’t fix you
sneaky linking through all the pain you feel
fucking all these guys won’t fix you
cause dating men feels like self harm

it’s 4b all the time now you get it
girl enough of this mess now we’re talking
why love them when they hate us
why beg them to treat you better

i used to be down bad for love
but i lost many years living a lie
i was hoping i could change him for good
i wish someone would have told me that

texting all these guys won’t fix you
sneaky linking through all the pain you feel
fucking all these guys won’t fix you
cause dating men feels like self harm

texting all these guys won’t fix you
fucking all these guys won’t fix you
fucking all these guys won’t fix you

it’s 4b all the time now you get it
girl enough of this mess now we’re talking
why love them when they hate us
why beg them to treat you better

clarity

i don’t wanna wait too long
my soul is underground
anemona falling
i don’t wanna be that girl
she put me through hell

and i’ve been what i learnt to be
jealousy’s fool
anemona girl
that wasn’t me

and i’ve had the wrong enemy
thinking that’s cool
anemona girl
that wasn’t me

that wasn’t me
that wasn’t me
i don’t wanna
move alone

and i don’t know what it’s for
another war
a solace in shunning other women
unbothered on a weightless fall
i don’t wanna feel like this anymore

i don’t wanna wait too long
my soul is underground
anemona falling

and i’ve been what i learnt to be
jealousy’s fool
anemona girl
that wasn’t me

and i’ve had the wrong enemy
thinking that’s cool
anemona girl
that wasn’t me

that wasn’t me
that wasn’t me
i don’t wanna
move alone

anemona

it’s so perfect
i know
i don’t even wanna see
i don’t even wanna try it 
again

it’s so worth it
i know
i don’t even wanna hear
i don’t wanna tell you how
it ends

i’m done wasting my time
i’ve been lonely for too long
i wish you could see it too
i’m done wasting my time
i’ve been lonely for too long

it’s so special
i know
think i wouldn’t understand
but i do
i know it all too well

i’m done wasting my time
i’ve been lonely for too long
i wish you could see it too
i’m done wasting my time
i’ve been lonely for too long
i wish you could see it too

serpentine

mix & master: heaveninstereo
soprano saxophone: jeune_pousse_du_91
all tracks produced and performed by phytocene

limelight

ambient honda

i’m like metal
the weight i used to feel
pouring into you
like i wasn’t real
i wanna ride all night and awake my faults
yeah i wanna get so high that i lose control

and it feels like
i’m always next to you
and it feels like
i do it all for you
how could i ever hate you?
how could i ever hurt you?

you
i barely look at you when you’re not high
you thought it’d make it all go away
i wonder where you’re now
you
i barely think of you when i’m not down
i wish i could just get it all back
the tears and the time

did you get it all out?
did i heal it on my own?

i’m like metal
the way you made me feel
pouring into you
like i disappeared
i wanna ride all night and awake my faults
yeah i wanna get so high that i lose control

and it feels like
i’m always next to you
and it feels like
i do it all for you
how could i ever hate you?
how could i ever hurt you?

you
i barely look at you when you’re not high
you thought it’d make it all go away
i wonder where you’re now
you
i barely look at you when you’re not high
you thought it’d make it all go away
i wonder where you’re now
i barely think of you when i’m not down
i wish i could just get it all back
the tears in your eyes

chrome self

singer, songwriter, producer
contact: phytocene@gmail.com

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