Anxiety. I've lived with you my entire life. You keep holding me back. Every time I conquer you, I just wake up and it begins again and again and again and again... and I'm still anxious.

06/ANXIOUS/INTRO

Confused. I'm not in the best state of mind and nothing makes sense. Everything feels… wrong. I'm frustrated and I don't know why. I'm slowly backing away from everything… and everyone. I need more time. I'm just so ... confused.

05/CONFUSED/INTRO

Absence, loss, grief, the brevity of this life. I lock all the pain away and choose to not feel anything… ever. One day, it might break through my fragile mind so violently that I may never fully recover. I will not… I cannot be sad.

07/SAD/INTRO

Light, but I cannot feel. Dark, but I’m all alone. There are days… there are weeks… that I am not seen or heard. Will I ever break through? It's my thoughts hold me back… like poison slowly filling up my mind and there is no antidote. And now... I am just… I'm just numb.

11/NUMB/INTRO

You. It's always you. You're in my mind, my heart, my soul. Your energy keeps pulling me toward you. Your love… it fuels me. I'm drawn to you. You are… an addiction.

12/ADDICTED/INTRO

Fear… of the dark, of pain, of truth, and of death. Why are we so afraid? Because it will hurt us or because it is unknown to us? Or because it makes us… uncomfortable? Why are we so… fearful?

09/FEARFUL/INTRO

Shock. To be stunned, disillusioned, speechless. Do we really expect a different outcome every single time? We all live in this same heartbreaking world. Our humanity... it keeps collapsing further and further each day. And we offer our thoughts and prayers, yet no action. So, how are we still... shocked?

10/SHOCKED/INTRO

Hope. The optimistic desire for something good to occur. Hope for news, hope for results, hope for a better future. Just because now isn't great, doesn't mean later will be bad. I need to keep being... hopeful.

13/HOPEFUL/INTRO

Fine. The status quo. No change, nothing new. Simply exist. I wish simply existing could be normalized. Some days I’m not good, but I’m never bad. I don't need to be someone I'm not, but there's a lot of pressure to do so. There's a need to be more than just okay. Being fine is a relief. It means you're not low, you're not angry, and you're not sad. I am just fine. I'm fine.

14/FINE/INTRO

Thrilled. Life is precious. Enjoy the moments you share with others. Cherish those who bring you joy. Remember being… free. Remember being… loved. And remember being… thrilled.

08/THRILLED/INTRO

What About Me (Instrumental)

Classically trained pianist, has been composing music since an early age. Influences range from pop, rock, soul/R&B/hip-hop, to new age, to electronic/ambient, and to classical. 
The music blends multiple genres into an eclectic fusion, but often lands in an 'easy listening' / pseudo-neo-jazz vibe.

Matthew Bertram

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