wish I could hear this 4 the first time again damn

botted at 8k :-(

guitars by @fish_narc, @blackwinterwells and me
produced, backing vocals, mixed and mastered by @blackwinterwells
art by oldsmobile1994: https://www.instagram.com/oldsmobile1994

holes in my walls from pulling out thumbtacks
i hate everything i loved six months back
pls dont look at me im sick and so sad
i can breathe as long as u dont know that

u dont really ask how i am so its easy
i dont really care if u dont want to see me
honestly im finding my face hard to look at
i dont wanna try cause im tired of the pushback

things can feel exactly right and go bad
i need to remember, need to know that
i can't move, i'm so scared to be shown it
again and again
i don't have any friends from when i was a kid and i'm so glad

i haven't seen anybody i've known for a long time
in a long time, in a long time

i'll never see me through your eyes again, it hurts too much

southview  +fish narc (blackwinterwells)

production, mixing and backing vocals by @blackwinterwells
<3 <3 <3

breathe close to me
i wanna know it's not a dream
cause it feels so much better than anything
and u see what i am when u look at me

but i can't see u the way i mean to
ur pixelated
baby come just a little closer to the barricade
i press my face to the glass and all i pray for and ask
gets just as close as it can then i am pulled away
some hypothetical force changes the keys to the door
i keep on wanting u more
i hope u feel the same
i think the world's gonna end
i wish someone would say when
cause i would run to u then
i don't think i'd complain

all the tears i've cried could cause an ice age if they froze
if i get through the winter i'll swim to ur home
when the glacial melt claims everything that we know
here i go now with my doomsaying
i see u waiting
and it's ok
it'll be ok
i'd give all i am
i'm a hologram but as long as you'll have me i'll stay

..i want u every day
somehow i doubt that'll change
i just wish that were something i could substantiate
i think the world's gonna end
i hope they let me know when
cause i will run to u then
i know i won't complain

seer

seer (blackwinterwells)

produced by and featuring @oakscreen
outro by @blackwinterwells

purgatory
it's not easy for me either here
but i'll be right here
purgatory
it's not easy for me either here
but i'll be right here when you're leaving

i wanna run away too
we're from the same cave
wanna hang out in graveyards
fake little ravestar
dance in the basement
everything changes and goes away

ur angry now and i get it
i get it
do u wish u had never met me
i'm just hoping u say goodbye

[leave me in the nether 
so i can finally be alone
choking on the weather 
never visit our gravestone
never had any ties here
disappear in my bed
keeping all of my friends close 
as i run away in my head

compartmentalize everything
every soul in your attic
they stole your happiness
and i promise i didn't have it
and i swear i did my best
and i never talk about you
but i write songs about this
and i feel fine without you]

purgatory

purgatory +oakscreen (oakscreen)

production, mixing and backing vocals by @blackwinterwells

come pick me up i'll pay for gas
there's nowhere that i want to be
and you'll drive fast and i won't ask
to pick the music or the street
and we can talk about whatever and pretend that we won't tell
even pretending to ourselves

u think it's easy where it's darker 
and i like to feel my heart
speed up with my eyes shut
and feel we're doing something we should not
so for a time i spend my life just trying to find out when to stop
just trying to guess when we'll get caught

this place is suffocating
i'll still be here in five years
like i promise i won't through the wind in your ears
but nothing feels as urgent
and these nights are still important
and there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

every time i feel alive it will feel just like this
i'll get the things u did 
forget the boy i kissed
by the hangar and you'll both be strangers to me

tonight it matters how i'm not a person who u want to see
cause i like to talk about the hospital and go when i don't need it
just to show the world i feel it
i only ever did it once
and it was selfish it was dumb
but i can't bring myself to

hate me for wanting a break
i'll still be here in five years
where i made every mistake
sixteen trying to disappear
for one week and a half
you know it's all an act
cause there's still a lot i haven't put into words yet

hangar

hangar (blackwinterwells)

halo3 +8485

CTRL +blackwinterwells (prod. blackwinterwells)

w @blackwinterwells
art by rockinriley.bandcamp.com

so dark〚prod. blackwinterwells〛

𝔥8 𝔪𝔢 𝔰𝔲𝔪𝔱𝔦𝔪𝔢𝔰 (ಥ_ಥ)
prod @powerdolls
mixing @blackwinterwells

skinz 〚powerdoll 𝑥 wells〛

prod @degenerate69 and @blackwinterwells
mixed by @blackwinterwells

there was a time once i thought i could be like you
you should have seen it
all of the meaning in all of what i can't do anymore

there was a time once that i believed in you
thought you would keep me safe from my weaknesses when i'd speak to you

burn it out in the sun alone
fix my body fix my soul
pour the fever from my pores
oh i'm better on my own
cause i know what i'm like on the inside
i should know the way i can make it right
but i don't and i'm warm and terrified
it just feels like a bad dream

and i don't know what's happening
and i don't know what happened to me
and i don't know how i can be clean again
think the dirt settled in way too deep
let it into the rest of me
and i give all the best of me too
i don't like what is left of me
i don't know what is left here to do

..and i don't know what happened to me
no i don't know what happened to me
there was a time once that i believed in you

pure (dgen + blackwinterwells)

cool video
https://youtu.be/2eD8q28Kmrg

i did not write thsi song

https://limeboiler.bandcamp.com/album/covered-up

that song we sang walking back from the park [video in description] [ ALBUM OUT ]

this is the way the world ends

backing vocals by @johnnascus
prod @blackwinterwells

southview +fish narc (blackwinterwells)

8485

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