THIS IS WHAT I WANTED TO SAY

lyrics:
i sent you a message two weeks ago
you didn't reply
it feels like i'm 16 again
but i'm not petty about it this time
i think about what happened a lot
more than i want to
i think about what i did
what i said
what i didn't say
what i should've said
what i should've done
i get lost easily
you were the voice in my head i went to when i needed someone to talk to
you were that person for me in real life
you were the only one that got it
the only one who called me 'her'
i felt like you saw me
i hope you did
i keep holding onto the idea that somehow
someday
we'll cross paths
and you'll get to meet me
properly meet me
and i'll get to apologise to your face
it won't happen
i don't need it to
but it would be nice
it would be nice to apologise
it would be nice to explain myself
it would be nice to get closure
that's all it is
it's not about love
it's not about friendship
it's not about forgiveness
it's about closure
it's whatever
i don't want to bother you anymore
i don't need you to say something to know what you think
we all need to move on some day
i just wish i did before you

CLOSURE

PUYO-PUYO TETRIS IS MY SAFE HAVEN
I WANT TO LIVE THERE

PUYO-PUYO HAPPY HOUR

WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO BE A MAN?

lyrics:
my grandfather's going to die soon
any day now
you need me to be a man for you
you need me to be there for you
i'm the only 'man' in your bloodline
you do not know your father
and my grandfather is not your blood
it is me and my nephews
you need me to be there for you
to be strong for you
to be a man for you

i'm not strong enough to be your man
but i can't let you down again
i'd rather die than be a man
but i'll do the best i can

MUPPET

WEED_34.WAV

WRITTEN FOR DISPARATE, FINISHED FOR SPARKLE

lyrics:
what i wouldn't give to be you
what i wouldn't kill to see you
what i wouldn't live through to meet you
what i wouldn't taste to feel you

i would cry a million tears
i would pull out a million hairs
i would burn myself alive
if it meant i could see you standing there

i'd die for you to live
i'd die for you to breathe
i'd die for you to speak
i'd die for you

12 years spent a victim
my first taste of lust was a girl on a screen
it replays in my head
the worst decision i ever made

hours wasted in chat rooms pretending to be a girl on her knees
a girl on a screen for men much older than me
a life wasted obsessed with lust
no matter what i do or try
i never get away from it

i'd die for you to live
i'd die for you to breathe
i'd die for you to speak
i'd die for you

one thought and i'm down the spiral
one word and i'm the worst version of me
years spent trying to stop it
years wasted giving in

i wasted a life that wasn't my own
i look in the mirror and i hate it
someone else's meat on my bones
a suit that traps me inside
a beast locking me in

i'd die for you to live
i'd die for you to breathe
i'd for you to speak
i'd die for you

i dream of being you
i dream of being beautiful
i dream of being forgiven
i dream i deserve it

if i could rip off my skin
if i could rearrange my atoms
if i could do it all again
if i could die for you
i would

i'd die for you to live
i'd die for you to breathe
i'd die for you to speak
i'd die for you to smilie
i'd die for you to laugh
i'd die for you to dream
i'd die for you to sing
i'd die for you to fall in love
i'd die for you to fuck
i'd die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you
i'll die for you

FOR YOU (GIRL ON THE SCREEN)

IN THE END IT WON'T MATTER WHO I AM
THE DESTINATION NEVER SHIFTS


lyrics:
i want to be happy
i know in this moment
they will see me
i should've done something more
would my father be there to bury me
whether near or far
i want to be her
as i sink into the darkness around me
they will see who i am
i should've lived a better life
would he think about how i got there
i am always yours
i can't be her until i am not this
they will not find me
they will know my name
i should've spent more time outside
would he think about what he did
any change in time
i can't be her until i am gone
they will not know i'm gone
i should've apologised
i know you always wanted a son
we are young again
they will not get a chance to mourn

and to think
so many times i hesitated
to see the end of all things

THE END OF ALL THINGS

L
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SAY MY NAME

Finally, some Good Fucking Music

EVERYTHING COMES BACK EVENTUALLY
THE SOUL
THE SPARKLE
THE HEART
THE SMILE
I'LL BE COMPLETE SOON ENOUGH

SALAMANDER SEASON

OUTTAKE FROM SPARKLE [III]
I'M KEEPING MY WORD

NEXT YEAR [FROM LAST YEAR]

WHISPERCORE [ADMISSION OF GUILT]

I HELD ONTO YOU FOR A WHILE
AND NOW I REALISE I'M MUCH PRETTIER ON GREENER GRASS
WHERE YOU HAVE NEVER STEPPED
FAREWELL OLD FRIEND
YOU SERVED ME WELL
UNTIL YOU DIDN'T

NEW DRESS

"KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE DONUT, NOT ON THE HOLE"

THE DREAMER

FUCK DEDICATION
FUCK EXPECTATION
FUCK REGRETS
FUCK MISTAKES
FUCK FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF
FUCK BITCHING ABOUT HOW I LOOK
FUCK WORRYING ABOUT HOW I SOUND
FUCK CRYING OVER LOST LOVE
FUCK MISSING PEOPLE REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY DID FOR ME
FUCK THIS BEING SAD SHIT
FUCK ALL OF YOU
I JUST WANT TO DANCE

"we still alive"

TRULY AUTHENTIC [4]

PRE-GLOW-UP

PRODUCED BY PIPEDRAIN
PIPEDRAIN MADE THIS SHIT
RECORDED MARCH 30 2025

THE DREAMER [OG MIX]

new album coming august

PRODUCED BY PIPEDRAIN
PIPEDRAIN MADE THIS SHIT

(cigarettes you like) 95bpm

(cigarettes you like) 100bpm

(cigarettes you like) 110bpm

PIPEDRAIN5 coming late august/early september

produced and composed by PIPEDRAIN

PIPEDRAIN

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