already dead

@sudxka

LYRICS:

[pixie]

one day i was waiting for one single moment
where maybe my life meant something to
anybody
and to a single soul who is still trying

to anybody
and i been needing a reason to live

[ezou]

up all night idk what to do
break up text i can’t wake up to u
up all night and i’m feeling kinda sick tho
shadows in the sky fear of looking thru the window

i can’t reverse it
said ur alone and u know u deserved it
all alone my life had no purpose
no no purpose at all

[pixie]

one day one night with a single knife
i was abt to end my entire life
but at that second i had realized
that i had meaning to my life

[ezou]

and at the dead of night u hear me scream and cry
just wanna testify and just be left alive (woah)
carve out my emotion
tears flow like the ocean

[pixie]

but that is the moment
when every single thing in my life has changed

[ezou]

just another soul to blame (another soul to blame)
and it’s all my fault and it’s never getting better

[pixie]

it’s getting cold i need my sweater
under the weather

meaning(ft. ezou)[prod. devilmightcare]

prod. usrdeleted

so much unbearable pain inside my chest
when we’re talking abt friends there’s nothing left
i hate that i fail even when i put in my all and try my best


someone tell me y
someone tell me y
i cry out my eyes
y i cry out my eyes
made me hate my life
made me hate my life
just wanna know y
y

it feels like u been tellin me so many fuckin lies
too many fuckin lies
i just wanna know the reason y i don’t even wanna be alive
can someone tell me y
y ur perfect and i am just nothing but a waste of time

not even worth a dime
and i’ve told u many times

prod. tennistheplayer

every single night
when u lay in ur bed and cry all night
i want u to know that ur not alone
and im watching over ur shoulders all night 

and i want u to know u r protected 
and u r so precious
and i love u so damn much
and i want u to know
ur not rejected
and u have collected 
every single piece of my heart

and i would literally do anything and everything u ask of me so i can know ur happier then u last were
and every single day has gone thru like it’s a blur
and everythings ok bc i will see her

prod. aoyblade!

one day ima be alright i swear
i feel this pain i cannot bare
everyday i wake up it feels like i’m in a nightmare
i have so much damn clothes but i still do not know what to wear

even in my room i don’t feel at home
and even with my friends i feel alone
and i been waiting for someone to patch this hole in my heart
and there’s so many days where i just wanna lay in the yard

i miss her so damn badly 
never happy when i’m making songs here sadly
i’m so damn trashy
and my music so wacky
i’ve never made a good song i am always off key

trashy

prod. akira

will u wait for me 
i am all alone when i’m here
idk anybody else inside of this town but u
and do u hate me
cuz i can never tell
every time u look in my direction idk if u do

and i been thinkin every mistake that my friends make is my fault 
idek y i think like this

like y even cut my wrist
kinda pointless isn’t it
it only makes u feel like shit
even more than u did

and i been thinkin
thinkin to myself explain
y do i think like this
am i broken and y am i such a bitch 

will u wait for me 
i am all alone when i’m here
idk anybody else inside of this town but u
and do u hate me
cuz i can never tell
every time u look in my direction idk if u do

and i been thinkin every mistake that my friends make is my fault 
idek y i think like this

like y even cut my wrist
kinda pointless isn’t it
it only makes u feel like shit
even more than u did

and every single second i was with u i just wanted to die
but nothin helps it
i have done my best to get u out my mind

but nothin seems to work
every time i see u i just end up stumbling words when i just try to talk

cuz i be lyin to her
and every time i miss u i just pull up pictures on my phone of me dancin alone 
in the rain alone
with my thoughts alone
every time i miss when me and u would just walk
(down the sidewalk)
(down the miles and miles of **********)

will u wait for me?

prod. ???

every time
i did everything in my power to live my life the way u wanted
but i feel haunted
and i can’t sleep no matter what i try

every fucking night
i feel so tired but can’t sleep
and i got my knife under my sheets
dysphoria makes me cut my thighs

as long as i can remember
no matter what i do i disappoint ur mind
and i couldn’t stand it
it took courage for me to look into ur eyes

meanwhile i’ve been playing games and watching shows at times
and it was fully content but
it has not been that way in a while

and i’ve been waiting for everything to fix itself but it won’t
there’s been too many thoughts of me on a rope 
got my life lessons all on my own

no fucking help from family
my biggest fear is failing
idk what i’ve done but they like to think it was everything 

every fucking night
i feel so tired but can’t sleep
and i got my knife under my sheets
dysphoria makes me cut my thighs

as long as i can remember
no matter what i do i disappoint ur mind
and i couldn’t stand it
it took courage for me to look into ur eyes

dysphoria (sped up)

prod. keeta nd soju

u r nothing 
ur a worm
i wish everything i said would turn into more than words
and if i could then ig i would tell u to
die a horrible death
just kidding
not rlly

i don’t trust anyone thats y i keep a glock in the bed
i don’t like anyone that’s y i want nails in their heads
i’m gonna reach a breaking point and then ur floors gon be red
i can’t sleep at night bc u and i wish u were dead

u r nothing 
ur a worm
i wish everything i said would turn into more than words
and if i could then ig i would tell u to
die a horrible death

i rlly couldn’t give a shit yeah i said what i said
just hearing ur voice is worse than being left on read
thru the worst of it all i’ve just been filled with so much dread
and thoughts entered my head
and more than half of the time i wish that u were dead

i thought at the end of today
my brain would be on the floor that’s a new feeling for me
ur whole life is more irrelevant than that bitch erin eats
ur so broke u might as well go sell pictures of ur feet
ur so dumb that i might as well just use u for my meat

u r nothing
 ur a worm
i wish everything i said would turn into more than words
and if i could then ig i would tell u to
die a horrible death

and i don’t trust anyone that’s y i keep a glock in the bed

i don’t trust anyone thats y i keep a glock in the bed
i don’t like anyone that’s y i want nails in their heads
i’m gonna reach a breaking point and then ur floors gon be red
i can’t sleep at night bc u and i wish u were dead

worm

swirls

afraid

bleed

destination

10/8/2022

the frown of my conscious

was deathly ill when this was made, don't mind the bad singing

sick

maze

nintendo switch

prod. yung spoiler
yes, this is heavily Jrock/ Jpop inspired

i been disassociating
i cannot focus on anything outside of the broken mental state it is draining 
cant help but feel alone
it’s all that remains

everyday i wake up thinking it could be different
i have a fucking headache everyday i don’t get this
it’s a battle in my thoughts my own brain is belligerent 
feeling trapped inside my bed i cannot get out

feels like there r shackles holding my ankles
u will find i’m not okay if u look from every angle
trying to hide it away don’t worry the table
i really wanna stay but it’s become unbearable 

i swear that everyday i have been trying my best
(unpairable)
i’m aware that everywhere i go be turning to a mess
i wish i could do better inside this world but i cant
it’s that everything do becomes something else i’m a wreck 

even if it just my own brain lying
feel like nobody would help me if i was crying
maybe i should reconsider options, dying
i don’t wanna end the story it might be the timing

even if it just my own brain lying
feel like nobody would help me if i was crying
maybe i should reconsider options, dying
my brain, frying
i’m done, trying

pixlated

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