(Work in progress) 

Dreams, that’s all they ever are 
Your lips on mine humming my only sunshine 
And every time we walk you clutch my side 
Turn out the lights, turn out the lights
So how the hell was I supposed to believe that fairytales aren’t true 
When you wanted me and I wanted you
When you wanted me and I wanted you 
When you wanted me and I wanted you 
I wish everyday could be Sunday 
In bed counting every bite and bruise 
You wanted me and I wanted you
My patience get shorter and your hair gets longer 
And a kiss for every hat that you lose 
You wanted me and I wanted you

last valentine

Cover of Olivia Ophelia 

Here I come don’t you see 
Here I am listening 
Why do you pass me by? 
Both of us broke into pieces 
I love you what I should think to do
Why do you insist on leaving? 
And I hope you’re not mad 
Sort of hoped you’d be glad 
You still mean too much to me 
Oh how do you not see?
It’s not okay
It’s not better off this way

moving

i'm trying my best and i'm doing less and less and
i know i could have called her
and i know i could be bolder but
i'm thinking less and less and
been smoking to my death but
not really just a little
i'm feeling so belittled
why do you have to be so
cold and uninviting
you don't think i'm the best but
don't think i don't detest the
way you go on and on and
pretend that nothing's wrong
and
i want a little sister
i have one and i miss her

sadloveletter

cbmc - smoking to dth

clairo - bubble gum

okay sorry 
...
you said you hate yourself 
so let me feed you strawberries off a plate i bought from a widow who was selling her husbands things 
and we'll see if you still hate yourself 
if you still hate yourself 
i'll eat you out for an hour in your room cause i love giving head 
if you still hate yourself 
we'll cut ourselves and swallow chunks of broken glass i don't care about finishing college 
i'll buy the biggest tv that my credit card allows me we'll watch the food network for the rest of our lives

teen suicide - salvia plath

im really really sad so here's a terrible cover by clairo/ angel olsen

lyrics:
It may as well have been forgotten
Or did it simply slip your mind?
Is that my heart that's splitting open?
I guess it just fell to the side

I've tried my best to keep you smiling, love
Maybe it's been all in vain
But I would try a million times, my dear
Tell me would you do the same?

One could say it's complicated, love
Like nothing they've seen before
Or simply that it is a thought we share
Forever it must be ignored

If you really love me, there's no way to tell
I'm always arriving when you say farewell
In all of my dreams we are husband and wife
I'll never forget you all of my life

I'll never forget you all of my life
I'll never forget you all of my life

clairo - may as well

be your own 3 AM

in 2017 i sung this cover of a flatsound song in my bathroom at 3 in the morning. be gentle with it.

lyrics

we're fighting again, more than usual
try and pretend that this is normal
but it isn't right, the damage that we do to your body
all those scratches on your little arms are spelling
"i'm sorry about bein' me: skinny, less perfect oprah winfrey."
sleep on the couch, just say when
bring me a cat, to be my best friend
'cause it isn't like you ever said
that you were committed to the thought of me, and only me
but she hasn't written you in seven weeks
that's when i come in
and it isn't like you ever said that i was your hobby
i can't believe i spent a morning tryna tell u i'm sorry about yesterday
when u would have done the same
grow you like my hair, cut you off when i get scared
if everyone in class stares, you don't care, you don't care

(2017)we're fighting again

the way you make me feel

(Original song)
Never Knowing What The Fuck Is Going On Song For The Confused:
Lyrics-

What am I doing with my life I don’t know where I’m going Maybe I shouldn’t sleep so much and I should call my mom more often 
Try to make sense for everything there’s two sides to every story 
I know I will just forgive you in the morning 

It’s hard to go on when waking up is a chore
For someone who doesn’t know what they want I always want more 
What is it about me that I want to fix
Missing therapy could be the cause of this

november

i'm sad so here is me publicly broadcasting my sadness. 
Advance Base - Kitty Winn

We got married in September
The baby came the next December
So I got off the road
It's the longest I've been home
Since I remember
I wake up earlier these days
To dress the kid & fix her eggs
Then we'll walk down to the park
If it's nice out
There's a swing set where she plays
I'm not out looking for something
I haven't found
You won't see me around
I've got a family now
I used to drive all night no stopping
Like a Batman with no Robin
& Then sometime around dawn
I'd wake up with my seatbelt on
To some cop knocking
I've seen a lot of wrecks & burnouts
& Nights the crowds just didn't turn out
& I've drunk myself so ill
& Nearly got myself killed
More times than I would care to count
I'm not out looking for something
I haven't found
You won't see me around
I've got a family now
I watched The Exorcist again
& Recognized Kitty Winn
From The Panic At Needle Park
With Al Pacino
She played his girlfriend
It felt like seeing an old friend
The way I wondered where she'd been
As I sat & pet the cat
With my wife's head on my lap
On the sofa in the den

kitty winn - advance base

coffee breath

poopoo pee pee invalidate my feelings once more 
(Untitled #4)

Lyrics: 

I’m breaking every glass in my hand 
And I can’t sleep without light 
When I’m older I would understand 
That’s what you told me that night
And you’re drinking everyday 
You won’t love me all your life 
I’m afraid of what you will say 
I still see you when I close my eyes 

And I’ve even moved away 
The distance makes it easier
I take hot showers everyday 
To burn the feeling of your hands off of me 

Why do you still haunt me 
You’re like a ghost that never leaves 
What do you want from me 
Was it not enough to watch me bleed?

untitled #4

cover of Ollie MN.
cover art taken by me on 35mm film.

Plutonic Thing

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