You may have never heard of J-L Cauvin. 

But you're about to.

In fact, if you Google him, you will quickly determine that Cauvin is considered, BY THE MAINSTREAM MEDIA, to be *THE* best and certainly *THE* drop-dead FUNNIEST Donald Trump impersonator on the face of the goddamn planet.

Let me put it this way:

I haven't seen ALL of the Trump impersonators out there in the world? But it's almost IMPOSSIBLE to imagine one who does Trump better than Cauvin.

In fact, at this point in history, it BLOWS ONE'S MIND to realize that Cauvin probably DOES Trump even BETTER... than Donald Trump. 

"Okay?"

If you have been listening to NCN's free MetaMedia mixes, particularly the Trump-centric ones, you may have heard Cauvin popping in here and there, channeling Trump in the mix. 

We hope these additions are okay with Cauvin. He SEEMS cool with it. 

They are, after all, not meant as acts of piracy but acts of proselytization. We want people to HEAR this guy take the piss out of Trump. AS Trump. Because it's FUCKING HILARIOUS. And if there are just TWO qualities associated with the Trump years, they are HORROR and HILARITY.

Cauvin's got both of those covered.

Which is no mean feat. Even South Park threw up their hands in this regard. 

I mean, how do you take somebody who provokes so much outrage already and MAKE them outrageous? 

How do you take a figure so worthy of RIDICULE to begin with and make them even MORE ridiculous? 

How do you PARODY someone who... 

Well, you get the idea.

Somehow, Cauvin finds a way.

And  the renditions, all of which are available at his 'Trump the Internet' page on Youtube here: https://bit.ly/2SfnIxw almost get out of the realm of mere 'comedy' and start to get into a kind of musical realm.

The riffing, the FLOW of Trump, the characterization, the blind-to-one's-own-nature over-the-top arrogance, the punctuated stolen verbal tropes running like punctuated leitmotifs throughout the impeccably delivered pattersuch as the perfectly timed 'okay?'s (always delivered with withering condescension, because Trump wants to make sure that you're following what he's saying because... 'YOU'RE STUPID') or characterizing the most horrible thing ever as '... it's a beautiful thing!' or of course the FULL STOP move of '... EXCUSE ME!' a very Trumpian verbal move indeed, ALL... are like musical phrases woven beautifully throughout an expertly rendered free form JAZZ PERFORMANCE.

It's like watching, or listening to, an expert JAZZ musician, like Dizzy Gillespie play the trumpet. 

But instead of playing the trumpet, Cauvin plays TRUMP.

So when, a few weeks ago, I came up with 'Apocalypse Trump!' (which will be posted fairly soon) mashing up Apocalypse Now and Trump, and needed certain LINES to be said AS TRUMP we knew we had to SOMEHOW get a hold of Cauvin to read those lines.

And we did. 

And he did.

And a couple of weeks after that, we had ANOTHER idea which was a bit more elaborate but it was a 'Trump Bit' SO CAUVIN WORTHY that we were almost afraid that he had already thought of it and done it.

Luckily, that was not the case.

Cauvin did the piece. 

It is this piece here.

And we GLADLY paid him for the COMEDY GOLD commissioned from him (thanks Patrons!). 

Written by Phineas Narco (with a couple of internal gags added by J-L) who also did a little post-production work on it, this piece had us laughing so hard we almost required oxygen when we heard the final product. 

It is part of the upcoming Mega-Epic MetaMedia Mix 'The Domino Insurrection (2021)' (Look for it here and on our Bandcamp site SOON).

And it answers the comedic question... 

How would Trump respond if somebody asked him (and come to think of it why has someone NOT?) the question everybody wants the answer to...

"Your supporters were CAUGHT ON TAPE chanting 'HANG MIKE PENCE' during the Capitol Hill Riot of January 6th, 2021. WHAT UP WITH THAT??"

We think... that Trump's answer... would go... something... LIKE THIS....

The Domino Insurrection (2021)

J-L Cauvin Channels Trump for NCN!

Our Patreon

NCN - Comedian J-L Cauvin Channels Trump For The National Cynical Network!

This mix is part of The National Cynical Network's program, 'Insane in the Ukraine'.

HISTORICAL BACKGROUND INFO ON THIS WORK'S SUBJECT MATTER:

"Rasputin" is a 1978 song by Germany-based pop and Euro disco group Boney M. It is a song about Grigori Rasputin, a friend and advisor of Tsar Nicholas II of Russia during the early 20th century. The song describes Rasputin as a playboy, mystical healer, and political manipulator. The tells of Rasputin's rise to prominence in the court of Nicholas II, referencing Rasputin's appointment as Nicholas's son Alexei's personal healer.

The song claims that Rasputin was Nicholas's wife, the Tsarina Alexandra's paramour: "Ra Ra Rasputin, lover of the Russian queen, there was a cat that really was gone" and retells contemporary accounts of his powerful personality. The song depicts him as being extremely popular with the Russian elite and being sexually promiscuous.

The end of the song recounts a popular version of events that culminated in Rasputin's assassination on 16 December 1916 (O.S.). The song accurately states that the conspirators asked him "Come to visit us", and then recounts  that Rasputin's assassins fatally shot him after he survived the poisoning of his wine.

For more info on Rasputin's remarkable assassination story see:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grigori_Rasputin#Death

AllMusic's journalist Donald A. Guarisco described it as "a tribute to the legendary Russian historical figure that uses balalaikas to create its textured rhythm guitar hook." Its melody has been compared to that of the traditional Turkish song "Kâtibim".

======================

IDEAS and INSPIRATIONS which led to THIS MIX:

This mix was worked on for at least a month certainly WELL before the Ukrainian invasion. The mix, ultimately, became, to a large degree, about that invasion, and of course Putin.

The graphic 'album cover' used is a 'morph' between the actual faces of Gregori Rasputin and Vladimir Putin. 

There are certain parallels between the stories of the two men: When Putin's political 'star' first rose in Russia, his popularity actually outshone the head of state himself. Both have a reputation for hyper-masculinity. Both, certainly at the current time in world history, are widely said to be 'mad' and for much the same reasons. Also, the parallels between the Russian people's cries (as depicted in the bridge of the original Boney M. song) to 'do something about this outrageous man' and his later committed abuses of power, especially in light of current events, are un-deniable.

The inspiration for this song was that I just really loved the original song, and especially all the MASHUPS of this song, and I wanted to showcase the best (IMHO) of these efforts in one ultimate mix. 

Although NCN painstakingly put this mix together, NONE of the individual pieces used (save for the 'political Putin section') were specifically done by NCN. In addition to the political set, the mix alsoo has a Lady Gaga mashup set, an 80's song mashup set, a hip-hop/rap set, and several covers and remixes of the song.

The playlist is comprised of two items: an uncut 'NSFW' version of the mix and a shorter 'SFW' radio edit of the mix suitable for airplay (though it should probably be played only in 'safe harbor' hours). Each mix version is downloadable on SoundCloud for free in lossless  .flac format and each mix is short enough to be burned completely on a single CD-R. 

It should be noted that, unsurprisingly, it has long been a widely held belief that Vladimir Putin is in fact the REINCARNATION of Grigori Rasputin. More information about this supernatural idea (FWIW) can be found here:

https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/latest-news/putin-rasputin-reincarnation-vladimir-russia-16967403

Will the stories of these two men END in a similar fashion? 

Only TIME, and perhaps the Russian people themselves, hold the answer to that very question. 

Until then... the world watches. And waits.

#StandWithUkraine

'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix

'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix (Uncut NSFW Version)

Get Full Album

NCN - 'Rasputin' (Boney M.) Ultimate Mega-Mashup MetaMix (Uncut NSFW Version)

Yes... this is a SPECIAL SNEAK PREVIEW of our upcoming day-long special NEW, FREE audio webcast program/journey called 'DAY OF NIRVANA' which will play on Sunday, May 22nd starting at 4:20pm (Left Coast Time, PDT) livestreamed on our Shoutcast server, but also on Youtube. There will be live chat and narration/explication of the program at the Youtube page (with Phineas, for as long as his brain cells hold out) in realtime.

For FULL INFO on this event (including ALL RELEVANT LINKS) go to the Patreon page for the event at the link (feel free to share) below:

https://bit.ly/3wAqcXi.

OVERALL PROGRAM DETAILS:

This is a sonic, psychedelic collage-based remixed biography/odyssey of Kurt Cobain's life story, and also Nirvana, from the beginning to the present day, told chronologically, utilizing and collating some hard-to-find high-end documentary clips, interspersed with rarely-heard early Cobain/Nirvana material like experimental/avante-garde sound-collage work (not that different what I do with NCN, at times) that Kurt himself did in the 1980's as well as fascinating researched explication, scads of interview clips, and recorded behind-the-scenes actualities and of course TONS of remixes, rarities, mixes, MetaMixes, mashups, covers and many, many such DIY variants and variations of the familiar NIRVANA tunes that we all have all come to know and love over the years.

THIS SUNDAY! Spend your DAY with NIRVANA! Hear the ENTIRE story in 24 hours!!

IN DTS STEREO!!

=============

ABOUT THIS CLIP:

This clip starts at the point right before the 5hr. 30min. mark, into the program. It starts out a bit CHAOTICALLY with a couple wild collages (one by Kurt) but STICK WITH IT, it soon settles down a bit and becomes more linear, listenable and accessible.

The clip describes the 'Grunge' scene, in Seattle, WA and the Pacific Northwest in the early 1990s, and some of the media 'hype' surrounding it at the time when Kurt Cobain moved there and formed the band Nirvana with Krist Novoselic and drummer David Grohl and derails their efforts and success producing one of the most successful albums EVER, their album: 'Nevermind'.

This extended mix also includes the ENTIRE set dealing with Nirvana's BIGGEST HIT, the song 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' representing the success in collage/remix format, but also describing in detail its production (as well as the larger LP project it was a part of) and a very very long set of '...Teen Spirit' variants such as mashups, sendups, remixes and covers of the song.

Some source material used in this mix was purchased by the creator specifically to have the best copy of it for this mix. Lossless/re-mastered versions were used if available. This is downloadable in lossless (.flac format) sound file form at the SoundCloud page for this track.

This excerpt ends with a hyper-edited representation of many, many intercut 'deconstructions' 'analyses' or 'reverse engineerings' of the song, 'Smells Like Teen Spirit' that breaks down, in extreme detail, why it is so GREAT in a technical, historical and also critical sense.

Underground music legend Don Joyce (RIP) of the musical group Negativland mentored me in the audio collage technique of 'converstional composition' which is employed here.

Note--this IN DEVELOPMENT program clip is mostly UN-REVIEWED by the creator at time of posting and so might contain MISTAKES I know there is a looped sequence around 39 minutes in. That all should be corrected by SHOWTIME Sunday.

DAY OF NIRVANA

DAY OF NIRVANA Special Sneak Preview

NCN - 'Making Nevermind'+'Teen Spirit Blows Up' (Special 'Day Of Nirvana' Sneak Preview Excerpt)

https://soundcloud.com/nationalcynical/ncn-dr-jordan-b-peterson-loses-his-lulz-megamix

This mix is now complete.

This is the entire hunk having to do with JBP as it will appear in the upcoming NCN project titled 'The Andrew Taint School for Sexual Predators'.

Watch the page where the 'BUY' link goes to (NCN's Bandcamp), that is where the entire project will eventually be posted. You will not need to pay anything to stream or download it. There are two other preview tracks/mixes at that page at this time.

This JBP comedy mix is available to stream for free on SoundCloud in HD Sound for FREE and to Download here for free in lossless .flac format. 

Includes our 'ex post facto' mods of: 'very tall bart's excellent 'YTP' cutups ('very tall bart' is on Youtube), our edits of their edits of JBP's interview with Cathy Newman (as well as his interview with himself which NCN re-produced), analysis of 'the crying issue' by youtube and twitchstreamer extraordinaire Hasanabi, The Majority Report and The Young Turks, also H3 goofs on the 'forced monogamy' controversy, audio 'sketch comedy'. Excellent de-constructions of things like the whole 'lobster theory' deal by 'Some More News'. Other fun stuff.

Listener Discretion. NSFW. Some of the language is rough.

Enjoy!

The Andrew Taint School for Sexual Predators

Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Loses His Shit (LULz MegaMix)

NCN - Dr. Jordan B. Peterson Loses His Shit (LULz MegaMix) [EXPLICIT]

Just a "feel good" song, reminding you to change your position if you can't see the good things in your life.  They're there- ask somebody.

Things Are Looking Up!

A music/comedy mix for NCN's current project at the beginning of June (Pride Month) 2023 called, 'The Great Big Gay Homosexual (ADULTS ONLY) NCN Comedy Show'.

Listener Advisory: Portions of this audio program may be considered 'Not Safe for Work'; Please use listener discretion.

This starts out as a straight-up dance mix featuring many gay icon female dance club oriented singers (hailed as 'divas') such as Madonna, Lady Gaga and Britney Spears. It should be noted that many of the mixes used in this MetaMix were put together by the great remix artist Robin Skouteris. This gradually becomes a mix of PARODIES of these types of songs done by artists such as 'Weird Al' Yankovic and Bart Baker who can be found on Youtube and then ends with a mixture of mashups and some more parodies.

Portions of this mix will also appear in the upcoming NCN album, 'Andrew Tate & His Red-Pilled Fight Club Meet The Matrix'.

This mix is freely streamable (in HD SOUND) and downloadable in .flac lossless format at our SoundCloud

and also freely streamable (in HQ SOUND!) fully searchable and with NO ADS! at our Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-dance-diva-and-parody-mix/

Our Patreon: https://patreon.com/nationalcynical

The Great Big Gay Homosexual (ADULTS ONLY) NCN Comedy Show

Dance Diva and Parody Mix

NCN - Dance Diva and Parody Mix

Our tribute to one of the most hilarious memes ever and some of the best (IMHO) musical remixes that it spawned.

In honor of Pride Month, June 2023: Keep Homophobia Ridiculous!

For more information:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Ssempa

Obviously, listener discretion advised.

Credits (in order of play): The Cumtown Podcast; Poopoophobic Pasta; The General Banter Podcast; JKR; NiewolnicyZieleni; Global Traxxx; TSR; Random Shenanigans; Pasta Senpai; GTJayFive; yahrasta; KingUW; Bart Baker; Kurt Razelli; Publio Delgato; Clair Collective; Colm Lindsay; 6669yourmum; Secular Talk

This mix is also freely streamable (in HQ SOUND!) fully searchable and with NO ADS! at our Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-the-eat-da-poo-poo-metamix/

The 'Eat Da Poo Poo' MetaMix (Pastor Dr. Martin Ssempa)

NCN - The 'Eat Da Poo Poo' MetaMix (Pastor Dr. Martin Ssempa)

This is a tribute mix in remembrance of Paul Reubens, aka 'Pee-Wee Herman', a fellow SubGenius who 'boarded the saucers early' on July 30th, 2023 at the age of 70 from a hitherto undisclosed illness. He leaves behind many fans, and an enormous body of work from a career that spanned 5 decades. 

This is a remix of, and about, the famous and iconic 'Tequila Dance' scene from the 1985 film 'Pee-Wee's Big Adventure' by director Tim Burton in which Reubens (as Pee-Wee) dances to The Champs' song, 'Tequila!'. This 'MetaMix' (or 'mix of mixes') consists mostly of mashups utilizing the 'Tequila!' song. 

It also includes audio of the scene in question as well as Pee-Wee and David Letterman discussing the film, and the scene, on the 'Late Night with David Letterman' show in 1985.

This mix is part of NCN's longform program, 'The Pee-Wee Herman / Paul Reubens Memorial Mix' which will be released in its entire by NCN soon.

RIP Pee-Wee Herman (aka Paul Reubens)

Credits in order: David Letterman; Paul Reubens (on Late Night with David Letterman - NBC - 1985); 'Pee-Wee's Big Adventure' (1985); The Champs; Mashup with Electric Six by DoM; J. Rabbit; The Sicks; Acapental; Pharrell Williams ('Happy'); DNC Liberty; Joeski Love

This mix is available here as a free 160kbps mp3 download. Special features of the mp3 encoding are: 1. Joint Stereo, 2. Highest Quality Encoding, 3. Mid/Side Stereo, 4. Intensity Stereo, 5. Volume Analysis and Leveling with MediaMonkey.

This mix is also freely playable at Mixcloud in HQ Sound, fully searchable back and forth, with timestamped source titles appearing in player during playback, with NO ADS.:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-tequila-the-champs-pee-wee-herman-memorial-mashup-metamix/

Enjoy!

-=-"pn"

The Pee-Wee Herman / Paul Reubens Memorial Mix

'Tequila!' (The Champs) Pee-Wee Herman Memorial Mashup MetaMix

NCN - 'Tequila!' (The Champs) Pee-Wee Herman Memorial Mashup MetaMix

FUNNY Informative Collage / Mix / Compilation Track About Then-President Donald Trump's Pre-J6 '11,780 Votes' Voter Fraud Call to Georgia's Secretary of State from Our Album 'The Insurrection (The Prequel)' Available on Bandcamp in its entirety at:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/album/the-insurrection-the-prequel

This mix covers Trump's phone call to Secretary of State of Georgia Brad Raffensperger in early 2021 whom he pressured to overturn the Georgia election results for him, mere days before Jan6, an action for which he is under indictment at the time of this posting. 

The bulk of this mix is the late-night talk show circuit 'goofing' on the call, and songs that came out about it, along with other comedy and some serious commentary.

There is a lot of comedy.

This is also available at Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/ncn-and-yet-another-perfect-phone-call-the-trumpgeorgia-mix/

Free download (in lossless .flac format) on SoundCloud.

Kill mR DJ Mashups; Jimi Hendrix; Linkin Park; Donald Trump; Brad Raffensperger; Stephen Colbert; Seth Meyers; schmoyoho; Founders Sing; Jimmy Fallon; James Corden; J-L Cauvin; Beau of the Fifth Column

The Insurrection (The Prequel)

And Yet... ANOTHER Perfect Phone Call! (The Trump/Georgia Mix)

NCN - And Yet... ANOTHER Perfect Phone Call! (The Trump/Georgia Mix)

Timestamp 3:01:18 <<< BEST SECTION!!!

We noticed that around the time Donald Trump started to publicly compare himself to the late, great 'King of Rock 'n Roll, Elvis Presley in February of 2024... that the legendary underground figure Mojo Nixon passed away.

It was almost as if Trump's comparison was too much for Mojo and he then figured he 'had heard it all' and said 'check, please'.

In all seriousness, Mojo was a beloved and revered figure of underground culture who was a talented musician, singer, songwriter, performer and in later years a radio personality and broadcaster. He is probably best known for his hit song 'Elvis is Everywhere' which broke into the mainstream and was on heavy rotation on MTV.

So around the time of Mojo's passing, we made THIS show to honor him, as well as paying tribute to another two 'passed saints' of the underground (but who also 'performed the miracle' of 'crossing over' into the mainstream) who championed and channeled (and sometimes lampooned) Elvis: the legendary comedians, Andy Kaufman and Bill Hicks.

Also, in this program we deconstruct the Elvis mythos, taking a deep dive and close look at the famed and celebrated performer's years of decline which included shocking levels of pill consumption and drug addiction, cross-referencing these facts with dawning info of a similar nature that were coming to light about what was going on in the 2016-2020 Trump administration around the time of this how's original creation, revealing that Trump's own self/Elvis comparisons may have been more spot-on astute than he had actually realized when he made it.

The climax to this entire program is the track 'EndShow' (which the Bandcamp audio player is cued to). This extensive and complex Metamix is basically a collage of various live Elvis performances (some of which we have done post-production work on) as well as some non-Elvis, yet related songs including Eminem making an appearance in a 'Jailhouse Rock' mashup, with liberal helpings of manipulated excerpts from the 2022 'Elvis' biopic with Austin Butler and Tom Hanks )as the villainous Colonel Tom Parker) depicting the ULTIMATE Elvis concert performance experience and in the climax of THIS track, we depict Elvis finally confronting Trump (as well as Colonel Parker).

The rest of the show after this point is just (IMHO) resplendent and we are very proud of it.

RIP Mojo Nixon. May he live forever.

The entire project  is bookended with an Intro/Outro set using a Brad Pitt AI as his 'Fight Club' character Tyler Durden.

This work is put out under The HOPE Club creative project, started by me, Phineas Narco, in the Fall of 2024.

This program is freely streamable (and downloadable all-as-one-file in a .flac format lossless quality file) here at SoundCloud.

Sections in this all in one program (analogous to the tracks on the Bandcamp Version) which is at:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/album/donald-trump-is-elvis-mojo-nixon-is-everywhere

The sections for this program occur at these timestamps in the all-in-one program files (which are at our SoundCloud and archive(dot)org site (which is at:

https://archive.org/details/@phineas_narco with the specific program there at: https://archive.org/details/thc-trump-is-elvis-mojo-nixon-is-everywhere) are as follows:

0:00 - Tyler Durden AI Hope Club Intro
2:58 - St. Andrew (Andy Kaufman)
49:23 - St. William (Bill Hicks)
1:19:19 - Too Many Pillz (Elvis)
2:05:33 - Too Many Pillz (Trump)
2:27:31 - Killing Elvis
2:50:46 - Killing Trump
3:01:18 - EndShow <<< BEST!!!
4:04:11 - Leaving the Building
4:31:18 - You Can't Kill Me
5:02:05 - Kleptone Coda (Vote "Bob" Version)
5:05:09 - Tyler Durden AI Hope Club Outro
 
To keep up with what I am doing creatively, you may follow me (IT'S FREE!) at my Patreon at:

https://patreon.com/nationalcyical

You can follow me on Facebook at:

https://www.facebook.com/pnarco

And at Twitter at:

https://x.com/phineas_narco

I hope that you enjoy this program.

-=-"PN"

Donald Trump is Elvis and Mojo Nixon is Everywhere

THC - Donald Trump is Elvis & Mojo Nixon is Everywhere

'SLAPOCALYPSE! (Part II): I Was Legend'

Part I  is Here on SoundCloud:

https://soundcloud.com/pnarco/thc-slapocalypse-part-i

Part I is Here on Mixcloud:

https://www.mixcloud.com/pnarco/thc-slapocalypse-part-i-another-brick-in-the-will/

Part I Here is on Bandcamp:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/album/slapocalypse-part-i-another-brick-in-the-will

Part I is here on archive(dot)org:

https://archive.org/details/thc-slapocalypse-part-i-another-brick-in-the-will

This is Part 2 of a longform MetaMix Album project from Phineas Narco's (my) creative project 'The HOPE Club' (THC) via his National Cynical Network all about rap singer and movie star Will Smith, his tumultuous and controversial relationship with and marriage to his wife Jada Pinkett Smith, and the infamous 'Oscar Slap' incident when he slapped Chris Rock at The Oscars on live television on March 27, 2022. 

This program will be continued in Part III of the series.

It can be downloaded here (on SoundCloud) as one lossless .flac audio format file.

This program contains material and language that may be considered to be explicit and/or Not Safe for Work. Please use listener discretion.

SLAPOCALYPSE! (Part II): I Was Legend

Patreon

Phineas is the curator and primary creative force behind a multipronged 'Latent-Einstein Outreach Ministry' comprised mostly of 'mutated MetaMedia audio mixes' meant largely to be a therapeutic and sonic REPLACEMENT FOR DRUGS for the Masses and the 'Not-That-Reality-Oriented'. He is a self-styled 'MetaMediagician' in this respect, as well as a formerly official canonized (and carmelized) 'Church of the SubGenius' (lapsed) 'SAINT'.

The neologism (meaning literally a 'new word') 'MetaMediagician' is a 'Pre-Zuckian' use of the prefix 'Meta' (which may be confirmed through 'The Internet Wayback Machine's cached copies of Narco social media accounts so... 'nyyyah') and denotes an artist who utilizes content from the media at large like a 'painter's pallette' in order to make further developed or synthesized 'macro' media work out of that media content in a more or less 'collage'-type format. 

Phineas' efforts in this regard have evolved from the personally expressive to the social therapeutic and have been structured around more and more relatable 'universal themes' with the general goal of attaining a more enlightened understanding of the matter or matters at hand.

Phineas is a very late Baby Boomer (a 'Barely Boomer' as he terms it) and is a 'PROUD MENTAL PATIENT' (since 1984) who has never married and has no kids and who lives alone in Silicon Valley since age 9 after his family moved out to San Jose from the Midwest. He has been creating and distributing Experimental audio artwork of one sort or another SINCE THE 1970s. NOTE that the featured profiled pic is from 1983: the year right before he 'GOT SICK' and became disabled lifelong.

Phineas' birth name is James Scianna (surname is typically pronounced 'SEE-ah-na' although the proper Italian pronunciation is actually: 'SHIAHn-nah').

The alias 'Phineas Narco' was created by Phineas around the time of the onset of his overarching, disabling mental health condition at age 19 (guardedly referred to typically as 'the exact same diagnosis as had by Brian Wilson of The Beach Boys') and is serious.

Phineas' condition exists independent of and unrelated to his creative skills, artistic life and efforts although it often inspires the subject matter of those efforts that are about mental illness and its aspects.

The alias name 'Phineas Narco' was created around the time of the onset of Phineas' illness as a 'church name' for his inclusion in 'The Church of The SubGenius' an actual mind control cult that Phineas was involved with for many decades but resigned from in 2024.

The two names refer to figures in Greek mythology. 'Narco' is meant as a contraction of the name 'Narcissus' (in the non-pathological sense) and is not meant as a reference to drugs. The name 'Phineas' refers to an ancillary character in the story of 'Jason and the Argonauts'. In addition to this, there is some identification with the character Phineas from the John Knowles novel 'A Separate Peace' although the significance of this 'referential idea' would not fully blossom until life events from 2021 to 2024 had occured in Phineas' life.

In addition to his involvement in the SubGenius mind control cult, Phineas also had a months-long dalliance with The Church of Scientology in 1991 in San Jose, CA in order to see, from the inside, what it was all about, working for the organization for many months but cleverly 'escaping their clutches' by pre-programming into his brain, in the pre-indoctrination period, a predetermined 'escape response', in other words *Phinny's cue to 'exit stage left* when a Church representative uttered a certain inevitable phrase to him, which of course they DID.

Bye, bye Scientology.
They were NOT PLEASED.

Phineas's current religious identification is Christian. He considers himself to be a Man of God but does not ascribe to any particular 'church' organization, being perfectly comfortable with his own, personal sense, useful understanding and concept of God.

Phineas has had a robust, lifelong interest in Psychology and has earned a trained certificate in Peer Counseling which he has utilized in volunteer efforts in his local community. So he is 'certified and certifiable' simultaneously holding both 'consumer' and 'practitioner' status in the mental health community.

Phineas also has since childhood had a driven natural affinity for, and very keen interest in language and its usages, even studying vocabulary and etymology on his own as a child, long term as an interest. 

 When Phineas was given a standardized IQ test as a child, he was found to have a verbal comprehension score of 139 which is very, very high.

Phineas was also tested positively as being on the 'autism spectrum' in an official capacity much later in life although the severity of this was not deemed to be problematic enough to require treatment.

Phineas' post-Highschool educational efforts can be classified as 'some college' but also as 'MUCH some college' taking many, many courses of interest in a number of local community colleges all with no intention or desire of ever earning any sort of degree during his 20's and 30's. These self-interested,  self-motivated educational efforts typically resulted in high grades and included a number of efforts in artistic, drama, media production, Psychology and English courses and curricula. Otherwise, Phineas has  mostly acted as an 'autodidact' (a term meaning essentially someone who is 'self taught') in his extracurricular learning efforts.

Phineas has worked intensively and creatively with the likes of such groups and artists such as Negativland, Bran Flakes, TradeMark Gunderson of (The Evolution Control Committee), Doktors 4 "Bob" and Big City Orchestra with whom he has collaboratively help create online virtual theatrical video events for his 'musical mashup movies' for the 3-D immersive VR community environment 'Second Life'.

His work has been lauded by the likes of the late comedian George Carlin and mainstream media critics such as Brad Kava (The San Jose Mercury News) and Richard Von Busack (The San Jose Metro).

https://www.metroactive.com/papers/metro/09.05.02/midnightvoice-0236.html

Phineas has also worked extensively and creatively, for decades collaboratively, at the Pacifica Radio flagship radio station KPFA in Berkeley, CA as well as the prestigious, exclusive and critically-acclaimed college radio station KFJC located at Foothill College in Los Altos Hills, CA. These former creative efforts were reviewed favorably by the aforementioned mainstream media critics at the time.

Despite all this 'impressive display' of extraordinarily unique talent and brainpower, Phineas frequently has difficulty putting on his own pants.

Phineas notoriously once mailed a package containing one of his radio shows to Ted Kaczynski ('The Unabomber') in the mid-nineties to where the notorious insane criminal resided at the time at the Supermax Federal Penitentiary in Florence, Colorado after having secured the notorious serial bomber's exact mailing address through the help of a local (and quite amused) reference librarian.

The program in question was called 'Bombscare', the result of a year-long creative effort by Phineas and was broadcast mixed live around that time by Phineas and Negativland band member, the late Don Joyce on KPFA. The show was, in part, about Mr. Kaczynski, his schizophrenic illness, and the years-long federal investigation into his serial mailbombing crimes.

The program represented a 'high-watermark' in Phineas' creative efforts and the IRONY of Phineas' sincere (yet arguably more than a little irrational and probably uhm... misguided) motivation in going about MAILING A PACKAGE TO THE *FUCKING UNABOMBER* containing his SHOW which was *ABOUT THE FUCKING GODDAMN UNABOMBER* was eclipsed in Phineas's semi-deranged mind by a literally a genuine and curious desire to 'find out what Ted thought about it'. 

Uhhhh... YEAH.
We *wish* we were kidding about that, but we're actually uhhm... NOT.

The package in question was summarily and promptly returned to Phineas, by Supermax prison authorities via US Mail, unopened and without comment.   Which MAKE SENSE. After all, ANY PRISON which houses the *GODDAMN FUCKING UNABOMBER* that gets... *a package* for... UH...  *HIM*... 

...is CERTAINLY... 
** NOT GONNA FUCKING OPEN IT!!! ***

And so, that... as they say... was THAT.

Around this time as well, Phineas mailed an identical tape copy of the 'Bombscare' show highlights to a very different person: the late iconic and legendary comedian George Carlin under the somewhat disingenuous guise of procuring 'permission' for using a Carlin audio sample in the show. 

However there was, like with Kaczinsky, the somewhat diffuse motivation of 'wanting to know what he thought about it'. 

The somewhat 'ruse' of offering the tape up to Carlin 'for review' to 'get permission' arose when Phineas self-consciously realized Carlin was 'in the show' he wanted to send and was offset by the perceptive comedian 'understanding' most likely that Phineas really just wanted feedback. Also, Phineas too was in fact sincere in that he would have snipped out the Carlin sample if permission was not forthcoming from George. 

With that, Phineas procured permission to send the tape to Carlin through the comedian's publicist and a voicemail message from George. The sequence in the 'Bombscare' program that includes the Carlin sample may be heard here in a track from the album/show's full listing on Bandcamp:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/track/more-fun-for-me

Some weeks after sending that tape of the show to George, Phineas discovered a message response from George in his voice mailbox.

In the voicemail message, Carlin was almost 'beyond enthusiastic' about the tape Phineas had sent to him. His praise of the work was almost uncontainable and Carlin articulately and happily lauded and sang its praises sincerely for over a minute, with all the salty facility of language and attitude he was so well known for in is in his lifetime, waxing eloquent about how great and fabulous he found it, and specifically praising the 'middle ear' range of artistic efficacy in which the sonic power of the program had 'hit'.

The uncut recording of Carlin's enthusiastic voicemail message to Phineas about the show can be heard here:

https://nationalcynical.bandcamp.com/track/carlin-voicemail-to-phineas-narco-about-bombscare-c-1997-8

Phineas' immediate reaction to hearing this message of personal endorsement from this hyper-known source there in his own personal voicemail at the time was one not so much of elation, pride and happiness but rather an almost *stunned awe* as if he had thought of one day to get an interesting looking penny assessed by a pawnbroker only to suddenly learn that the coin was in fact worth TEN MILLION DOLLARS.

It is interesting to note in regard this phone call message that George started out his performative career as a radio DJ working at WINO in New York and that his brother the late Patrick Carlin (who George tells Phineas in the message his wants to send the show tape to) also worked in radio and ran a podcast. So, both men would have had a firsthand appreciation of the program as a live-mixed radio effort.

Also, and I have been unable to definitively confirm this, although I seem to recall hearing this from somewhere at one point: Carlin's brother Patrick also kind of lived 'out in the woods' Walden Pond style far away from the mainstream infrastructure of the more developed sections of society. So, if this were in fact true, his 'lifestyle' could be said to be not all that different than that of 'The Unabomber' himself.

Minus the 'exploding' part. *Ahem* 

WELL, A MAN NEEDS A HOBBY!! When he LIVES ALONE so what are you gonna do? Sometimes it's RUNNING A PODCAST and sometimes it's BLOWING PEOPLE UP!!

Further to this: in researching Carlin's life, it became known to Phineas that prior to him becoming the legendary, well-known mainstream comedic show business talent that he turned out to be (which he was rather forced to do in order to raise a family which was expensive to do and also ultimately to pay off his massive tax bills) Carlin originally only had the ambition or 'dream' or intention of being just an obscure artist doing abstract, weird art like in an apartment somewhere on his own merely for his own enjoyment and just living his life like that.

Sort of like... how... Phineas Narco... does.
Go figure.

The phone call from Carlin ultimately motivated and accelerated Phineas' artistic career at a crucial time of growth. It gave Phineas the confidence of knowing that his work had worth and was on the right track with an appeal to an audience, who was like George in terms of sensibility and values, and he was able to rest assured that this endorsement was one HUNDRED PERCENT genuine, no bullshit and SECURE because Phineas knew that Carlin was NOT the kind of guy for Hollywood bullshit. 

So, this ringing endorsement was like a shiny gold coin of the purest stock gifted to him right into his pocket. IT WAS HIS. And he was able to use that currency for capital in the artistic journey to come.

Thanks, George.

==================

To view, stream or download (at NO required cost) Phineas Narco's mediage artwork which is freely available to everyone online, go to any of the following sites:

YouTube
Mixcloud
SoundCloud
Bandcamp
or
archive.org

...and search for "Phineas Narco" [using quotemarks] and also 'NCN' and/or "National Cynical Network" [with quotes around as well] in combination if need be:

Recent interviews with Phineas on Youtube for 'Innerviews' with former Carlin and Zappa employee Gerry Fialka:     

Part 1: https://youtu.be/AsaZK74Qqu8
Part 2: https://youtu.be/0t9Suf8490o

Phineas Narco's ENTIRE DIGITIZED BODY OF BODY OF WORK (Including much special, rare and heretofore otherwise unreleased, unfinished. upcoming and never-heard before material) termed 'THE VAULT' is now available via DROPBOX in a 1.5TB-sized comprehensive online archive and can be now accessed using THE FOLLOWING LINK:

http://bit.ly/4dllBLQ

Enjoy!g

SLAPOCALYPSE! (Part II): I Was Legend

Phineas Narco

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